Irresponsible boys who should be in college or high school going around sleeping with girls for fun, irresponsible girls who wont listen to mommy rebeliously running after irresponsible idiots with rented cars and borrowed clothes.

I just came back from a vacation yesterday where i ran into some long forgotten family friends who came here inn the 80s. The first kid is only 29, cute thing! She's a single mother of 2 kids from different fathers!!! Now the big issue on her hands and those of her parents is who will marry her. Now she's a good christian who goes to church 3-4 times a week. But with pikin, all the good boys are looking the other way.

I inquired about her sister, no one is sure if she also has a child out of wedlock too and she's just in school. When i came last yr, her mom was trying to get me to talk to the girl. Marrying a girl no matter how cute who has another man's abandoned property is not the contract i signed with dear God.

Easyy:

Any man who's first instinct not one of survival is not a man. Maybe I need not go into details with you about that. It's the natural constitution of most Nigerian, and probably African men

this truly disgust me and pls dont go into details, becos it just tells me immature boys do this not MEN. anyway thanks for your post you have verified what David was saying, and yes it is very callous to do what you say. well congrats you have sucessfully labeled many Nigerian men as spineless twats

Eurphoria:

this truly disgust me and please don't go into details, because it just tells me immature boys do this not MEN. anyway thanks for your post you have verified what David was saying, and yes it is very callous to do what you say. well congrats you have sucessfully labeled many Nigerian men as spineless twats

Spineless twats

What do you label the women who are all too willing to sleep with men whom they don't know?

If those women are daft enough to sleep with some idiot who just spins them a yarn, they all get what they deserve. Whatsoever a man sows, the same shall he also reap.

Easyy:

Spineless twats

What do you label the women who are all too willing to sleep with men whom they don't know?

when did women start impregnating women?

That's actually been corrected, and it was done before your post

shush David lol you know what i mean


Back to topic, ------------------------------

Easyy:

Spineless twats

What do you label the women who are all too willing to sleep with men whom they don't know?

If those women are daft enough to sleep with some idiot who just spins them a yarn, they all get what they deserve. Whatsoever a man sows, the same shall he also reap.

My dear, when i heard the story of my friends too my first instinct was "what on earth were you thinking"? After a while i could not help but feel sorry for young women whose innocence was abused and ground into the dust by idiots who happen to share the same appelation "male" with me.

I see 2 young children, smart, intelligent but who will never understand why their fathers left their mother. I am glad they are single mothers now, at least they are spared having to spend the rest of their lives with smooth talking irresponsible boys, errorneously refered to as men.

At least barring the kids, they would make excellent wives!

davidylan:

My dear, when i heard the story of my friends too my first instinct was "what on earth were you thinking"? After a while i could not help but feel sorry for young women whose innocence was abused and ground into the dust by idiots who happen to share the same appelation "male" with me.

I see 2 young children, smart, intelligent but who will never understand why their fathers left their mother. I am glad they are single mothers now, at least they are spared having to spend the rest of their lives with smooth talking irresponsible boys, errorneously refered to as men.

At least barring the kids, they would make excellent wives!

Sensible piece.

However, going around and bashing the men without sending out the proper message to other young girls will result in this the same thing ocurring again and again.

I honestly dislike it when hard truth is spoken in order for people to understand reality and some liberalist people, especially over-westernised ones, come out to try and make out that what the girls are doing is fine and all the blame should go to the boys. Girls will never learn with that kind of attitude and that's why there are quite a few on here with the same kind of problem.

Just like you, I could never imagine myself with a woman who has had a child for another man.

davidylan:

Marrying a girl no matter how cute who has another man's abandoned property is not the contract i signed with dear God.

When did you sign the contract with God ? Before or after you were born ?

i talked to an aunt about the issue, my brother if the child were maybe less than a yr old then we could consider. Two kids both over 3 is a BIG hurdle o!

What about when (NOT IF) i become a rich guy? Wont those idiots start coming around to demand visitation rights? Will i be able in court to become the sole father of the kids and give them my own name?

Will my wife be spared having to interact with those riffraffs?

GNature:

When did you sign the contract with God ? Before or after you were born ?

where were you when the form was passed around before we entered our mother's wombs? Go and ask o!

hmmm and then the thread changed -----------i am out

I agree with Ndipe that we need to instill values in our kids as we raise them. The rate
at which young men abandon their kids would dramatically decrease if they had been
raised with good values regarding taking care of one's family.

While we are not perfect in Nigeria (and Africa), I think we fare better in this regard
compared to some others.

I used to live in an environment where young girls would willingly become the mother to the child of the biggest known drug dealer just to be able to say "I have his baby." They didn't care that he had children by other women they just wanted to be a part of th ghetto stardom. I know what i am talking about. Bottom line, a lot of the young girls who come from homes where education is not important but the fast dollar is more important, they are not thinking about the future, they are thinking about right now, they want to have a child for the richest drug dealer or the next one who is in line to become the next greatest rapper. To them, if they could just get that nigga to love them they will always be taken care. Of course, that is a immature fantasy. If a man does not want to be kept, he will not be kept.

The girl needs to be the one to look out for her self, of course the fact that she is pregnant is both of the young man and womans fault but will that matter after the baby is born and the man is gone? What I just talked about is in the case of teenagers, not young adults the ages 21 and up. The young adults who feel they do not want to be together but have children together, they are going to court to gain equal parental rights.

Any woman who adopts the western style of life would eventually end up a single mum, that is a must.

Reason is simple -

Most of these boys/girls who get pregnant at an early age (which often leads to abandonment) do not have a clear goal for the future. They have the kid and it's all joy for the first 6 months after which it dawns on them that their future has been mortgaged. The men find a way out while the women are stuck with the kid.

It's all a product of poor intelligence on behalf of both parties. If you want to have sex, use a condom AND a contraceptive pill both of which are easily available in the western world. If these guys had visions of what they wanted to achieve, they'll be smart enough to work towards that goal and avoid "unwanted pregnancies". I don't see the excuse for "unwanted pregnancies" in the West (except for cases of rape). It's all due to lack of intelligence for both parties and lack of pride on the man's part which is often due to the man not having a father in the first place.


To answer the question: It is due to lack of intelligence, vision for the future and pride! End of story!

well, the long and short of it is:

men walk away BECAUSE THEY CAN.

That's all there is to it.  So at the end of the day, a single man who is so inclined can get any girl(s) pregnant and simply walk away.



So sad.

I retract my earlier discourse about not hearing of this trend of child abandonment by fathers in Nigeria. It is also common back home. I know that there are some young men who have disavowed their girlfriends pregnancy, either because of finances, societial disapproval of unwed pregnancies and furthermore, fear of a backlash from their family members. Working adults in Nigeria, are also guilty, because some of them have not stepped upto their plate, with absolutely no valid reasons. How this is different from the USA is that back home, such topics are usually discussed/restricted in a private setting. (No baby daddy drama, as it is publicly played out here because of shame)

NINETOFIVE:


Any woman who adopts the western style of life would eventually end up a single mum, that is a must.

This may appear so statistically but I dont think it's an absolute.

Westernisation does not necessarily have to lead to single parenthood if a girl has the proper background and prental upbringing, and if she apllies some wisdom as well.

I think some people (not gonna mention names), have gotoon things wrong. Whilst it is a strain on the mum to be a single mum in this scenario. There is no use saying 'she deserves it'. THE BIGGER PICTURE IS she is not the one who necessarily suffers the most. It is often the child. You can say why did the woman not do this, or do that - fine. She should have take the same precautions we say the men should have, perhaps more if you wish to argue so.

But what did the child do, what part did he/she play in this. Did he/she have any choice to be born? Did he/she have any opportunity to take chances on life. Often raised in poverty and if not that then raised without a father figure they may crave no matter how perfect their mother may be. I respect a lot (although not all) single mothers. Especially in Nigeria where there is no social security. She too can run away! She can give the child to adoption, have an abortion, but she does not do that mostly because she knows this child need not be punished for her mistakes.

My question is not about the reason why men abandon children. The answer is clear - it is hard. But my answer is how do men go to sleep at night, or how can they claim to have morals. Knowing somewhere some child is asking why his/her dad did not love him/her? HOW? We should not ask how come? It is actually not a hard question to answer and will only cause bashing. But how do you cope with the knowledge you abandoned a helpless human being (or two self if you wan't to include the mum), when they needed you the most? All I know is it can't be easy.

question is not about the reason why men abandon children. The answer is clear - it is hard. But my answer is how do men go to sleep at night, or how can they claim to have morals. Knowing somewhere some child is asking why his/her dad did not love him/her?

Oh so after giving birth to the kid, you now realize it is hard and run away. Does that not point to a lack of intelligence and foresight?. . . If the man was a little bit smart, he could have known that children are not easy to handle and will do everything possible to prevent having one.

Again, I point to lack of INTELLIGENCE and FORESIGHT on behalf of these men and women, no other thing can convince me otherwise.

@ Donzman - did you understand me? If not I was not supporting child abandonment. But the question is not why people are not smart enough to use protection - an issue in itself. But once the child is there why would a man feel he can live with the immorality of leaving an innocent being in a horrid situation.

ell77:

@ Donzman - did you understand me? If not I was not supporting child abandonment. But the question is not why people are not smart enough to use protection - an issue in itself. But once the child is there why would a man feel he can live with the immorality of leaving an innocent being in a horrid situation.

The men have no pride and are chasing a future that probably isn't there.

Donzman:

The men have no pride and are chasing a future that probably isn't there.

Exactly! You even made a good point - a big number of these men still go on to become lower class citizens, often jobless or impregnate others anyway and finally settle down with one of their baby mamas whilst cheating on the side, so what better life is it they are running to? They might as well just stay and if not have a relationship with the mom, support her in raising THEIR child. For a man to look after a child from a previous relationship makes him not a brave or courageous person but someone who has morals. You made a decision now deal with the consequences. You won't die from having a child by a woman you don't wan't to be with. Atleast your conscience will be lot clearer. It is called doing what is right! Many women marry men who have kids the reverse is alot rarer though. You may even find you love the mother of your child. Many men have married women to avaoid a child out of wedlock and grew to love them. Some of these relationships, survive those of people who had no kids before marriage. It is true it won't be easy. But nothing in life is easy, anything that comes easy often has big consequences anyway (e.g. sex itself).

You can't have any pride to abandon your blood. People need to stop making excuses as to why it is hard to look after or even stay in contact with their son/daughter of course there are many reasons - reasons that affect the women who bear these children too who also had the opportunity to abandon their kids. Yes, it is hard. But get a grip, what's done is done, it's time to get it together. Have you wondered why they don't call it 'DO THE MOST HONOURABLE THING'? It is because their is no honour in it. It is your duty as the creator of this being who enetered this world by your decree. it is called 'Do the RIGHT thing'!

I found some of these particularly interesting

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/b/broken_homes.asp

SURVEY RESULT

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/core/Content/displayPrintable.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/02/24/nteen24.xml&site=5

That only gose for london girls the world is big

The links Easy posted only serve to higlight the torment these children OFTEN go through when a father leaves a mother to cope on her own. It is a miracle when some kids turn out well I know several of my friends who are successful women despite having no father around, all down to the love and determination their mothers showed them. Despite this though it only takes a few words to send them into a rage or see that look of hurt and sometimes shame (although they should not) what about your dad?'.

some 'women' seem to really hate to see those kind of links and they tend to react badly to it, probably because it always reminds them about something in their lives

Easy i am a single Mother.
My daughter has won 3 awards for best performance in her school . In the last 3 years.
The other two have not met her standard but they too are doing well.
No school drop outs here and no unwanted babies.
Having a baby is not the worst thing that can happen to a girl.
In Germany a teenage mother can go on with her school with a baby.
There are a lot of people that will take care of her.and her needs.
But only if the mother wants to finish school

:-x