A lot of us are now so used to chatting, it's now a safe haven especially for those who can't approach a lady or a guy physically. But whichever the case may be, whatever has advantages must surely have a disadvantage and it's my job to educate you on that. It's no news that a good percentage of relationships have broken apart due to chats directly or indirectly, but in order to avoid such complications, let us try to identify areas where we most likely fall culprits and re-adjust our lifestyle into ensuring a long lasting relationship with our partner.



Chats may bring up Misunderstandings

I will use Whatsapp to describe this better because it explains better the message i'm trying to pass across. Let's take for instance, the "last seen" feature on Whatsapp. Lekan might be chatting with Biodun or Sarah or Esther, which ever the case may be and let's say they are in a functioning relationship, he tells any of them he has got some important shitt to do and he wishes to end the chats, the girl might not really want him to leave just like that but he has no choice, then later on, she comes back again and finds Lekan's Whatsapp presence as "online" and she begins to imagine all sorts of things. Lets not try to deny this because I believe most of us, if not all has experienced such.

Now let's get back to actual sense, that Lekan's presence shows online doesn't mean he is flirting with ladies, or that he just wants to ignore Esther, Esther may feel something is wrong and she begins to react to such misunderstandings. She begins to think he doesn't want to chat with her and insecurities begin to sprout up. This in turn leads to lack of trust and before you know it, relationship starts getting messy.


What to do?

It's much better to give each other great space, or better still ask them directly about it. Don't get too naggy though. This also goes to the guys as well.



2. It leads to misplaced Priorities


Now don't get me wrong. This habit is actually more associated with the ladies, no offense. Now let's say Tasha is married, and it happens she is a phone freak, everywhere she goes, she's with her phone texting. In the bedroom with her husband, she's texting, in the car, she's texting, in the church, she is texting, even when something is on fire, she forgets about it and is busy texting. She is a social media freak, she"s popular online and she just doesn't want that status to fade away so she spends 24 hours trying to keep up with that, the food in the kitchen is burning, her husband complains a lot about her habit, her studying habits are deteriorating, her boyfriend thinks she is cheating, etc. And yet, she just doesn't care. I'll want to advise such people that social media won't die or crash if your presence isn't there, neither are you paid for being online 24hours, instead it's much better to spend much time with actual people than people who you haven't even seen, who also won't give a hoot about your real life problems.
Most relationships and possibly marriages have crashed onto the rocks because one partner is a chat freak. Please save your relationship and re-order your priorities.





3. Chats may be used as a weapon to strike up Jealousy which puts the relationship on the line.



This one is a sister to the first point and most times, it doesn't really go down well. Most of us like to play expensive games that will cause harm to our relationships. Lets take this for an example. Tobi and Grace have been dating quite some time and Tobi feels Grace is too good to be true, Tobi wants to test Grace's loyalty to him and Tobi disguises as another man and strikes up a chat with Grace to ascertain if Grace really is a loyal Girlfriend. Then along the line, Tobi finds out that Grace actually is loyal to her boyfriend and Grace happens to realise she's been played, Grace flares up and expresses her anger at Tobi and threatens to call of the relationship...


Why do we really like to knowingly cause rifts in our relationships especially using this tactic? To me I feel it's really stupid and immature and such people who try such should be aware that their relationships will be on the line heading towards a breakup. I had a friend who tried that shitt with me and trust me, I didn't take it lightly with her, she told me that she didn't think i'd flare up like that since her ex boyfriend was lenient with her when she tried it with him and that even made me anger up the more. To me it's really really immature and people who find themselves in such habit should call it off.





4. Chats do not really make you express your feelings better to someone


Not all things ought to be communicated through chats, where feelings are best suited to be expressed through body languages, we find ourselves expressing them through texts and the receiver may not really get to understand or "know" your passion when trying to convey the message, it leads to lack of understanding and indirectly makes you feel insecure. Phone calls and physical meet-ups aren't a death sentence, nothing stops you from picking up the phone and calling someone, or meeting up with them and spending quality time with them to increase bonding. People get tired of chats, too much of it is bad, and with time, you realise you are alone and you don't have any friends left.




Lalasticlala, mynd44

it is very true.......

Please join my forum moral24

lola024:
it is very true.......

Please join my forum moral24

lwkmd, I tot u mentioned u had a bad impression abt me

lola024:
it is very true.......

Please join my forum moral24

Thr iz so dry

dingbang:
A lot of us are now so used to chatting, it's now a safe haven also for those who can't approach a lady or a guy physically. But which ever the case may be, whatever has advantages must surely have fatal disadvantage and it's my job to educate you on that. It's no news that a good percentage of relationships have broken apart due to chats directly or indirectly, but in order to avoid such complications, let us try to identify areas where we most likely fall culprits and re-adjust our lifestyle into ensuring a long lasting relationship with our partner.




Chats may bring up Misunderstandings

I will use Whatsapp to describe this better because it explains better the message i'm trying to pass accross. Let's take for instance, the "last seen" feature on Whatsapp. Lekan might be chatting with Biodun or Sarah or Esther, which ever the case may be and let's say they are in a functioning relationship, he tells any of them he has got some import ant shitt to do and he wishes to end the chats, the girl might not really want him to leave just like that buh he has no choice, then later on, she comes back again and finds Lekan's Whatsapp presence as "online" and she begins to imagine all sorts of things. Lets not try to deny this because I believe most of us, if not all has experienced such.

Now let's get back to actual sense, that Lekan's presence shows online doesn't mean he is flirting with ladies, or that he just wants to ignore Esther, Esther may feel something is wrong and she begins to react to such misunderstandings. She begins to think he doesn't want to chat with her and insecurities begin to sprout up. This in turn leads to lack of trust and before you know it, relationship starts getting messy.


What to do?

It's much better to give each other great space, or better still ask them directly about it. Don't get too naggy tho. This also goes to the guys as well.



2. It leads to misplacement of Priorities


Now don't get me wrong. This habit is actually more associated with the ladies, no offense. Now let's say Tasha is married, and it happens she is a phone freak, everywhere she goes, she's with her phone texting. In the bedroom with her husband, she's texting, in the car, she's texting, in the church, she is texting, even when something is on fire, she forgets about it and is busy texting. She is a social media freak, she"s popular online and she just doesn't want that status to fade away so she spends 24 hours trying to keep up with that, the food in the kitchen is burning, her husband complains a lot about her habit, her studying habits are detoriating, her boyfriend thinks she is cheating, etc. And yet, she just doesn't care. I"ll wish to advise such people that social media won't die or crash if your presence isn't there, neither are you paid for being online 24hours, instead it's much better to spend much time with actual people Dan people who you haven't even seen, who also won't give a hoot about your real life problems. Most relationships and possibly marriages have crashed onto the rocks because one partner is a chat freak. Please save your relationship and re-order your priorities.





3. Chats may be used as a weapon to strike up Jealousy which puts the relationship on the line.



This one is a sister to the first point and most times, it doesn't really go down well.. most of us like to play expensive games that will cause harm to our relationships. Lets take this for an example. Tobi and Grace have been dating quite some time and Tobi feels Grace is too good to be true, Tobi wants to test Grace's loyalty to him and Tobi disguises as another man and strikes up a chat with Grace to ascertain if Grace really is a loyal Girlfriend. Then along the line, Tobi finds out that Grace actually is loyal to her boyfriend and Grace happens to realise she's been played, Grace flares up and expresses her anger at Tobi and threatens to call of the relationship...


Why do we really like to knowingly cause rifts in our relationships especially using this tactic? To me I feel it's really stupid and immature and such people who try such should be aware that their relationships will be on the line heading towards a breakup. I had a friend who tried that shitt with me and trust me, I didn't take it lightly with her, she told me that she didn't think i"d flare up like that since her ex boyfriend was lenient with her when she tried it with him and that even made me anger up the more. To me it's really really immature and people who find themselves in such habit should call it off.





4. Chats do not really make you express your feelings better to someone


Not all things ought to be communicated through chats, where feelings are best suited to be expressed through body languages, we find ourselves expressing them through texts and the receiver may not really get to understand or "know" your passion when trying to convey the message, it leads to lack of understanding and indirectly makes you feel insecure. Phone calls and physical meetups aren't a death sentence, nothing stops you from picking up the phone and calling someone, or meeting up with dem and spending quality time with them to increase bonding. People get tired of chats, too much of it is bad, and with time, you realise you are alone and you don't have any friends left.




Lalasticlala, mynd44

So true thou
Nice write up

AdexHo:




So true thou
Nice write up

thanks bro