gabazin080:
I am tired of my marriage. my only joy in that marriage is my look-alike 1yr old son. i married a single mother. she tells a lot of lies and i felt she might be cheating on me. though she doesnt know how i feel about her cus she is always eager to see me get back from work. but i just dont love her anymore and i now get home late in the might. i want to quit and keep my boy. how do i do it without hurting her

With the amount of ladies your following on Nairaland why wouldn't you quit??
You are quick to judge her that shes cheating what about you have you judged yourself??
Are you telling me that shes the only one that you have been sleeping with since the last 4 years. I doubt that. Your a promiscuous dude and you dont want anoda to share your wife with you.Una type no suppose marry, awon Baby Father

See, on e thing I hate about Nigerians and their advise committee is that they can't and won't leave the past alone, all u will read here are people asking questions like
Didn't u see such behavior before u married her?
Why did u do this in the past?
Omg, the deed is done and over, people want solutions because they want to move beyond the past but our able bodied counselors just won't leave the past alone, they rant their blame game all day long.

Solutions not pointing fingers...kai!

You got married for better or for worst
this is worst part but the thing is, there would be better parts of her.
You need to find peace with yourself and love your wife inspite her defects. Carry your cross man rather than walking away from it.

FortuneTeller:


I can tell you from experience marriage is not always exciting. You will become bored, tired, hateful, and irritable at times. It does not matter who you marry, such feelings will happen the longer you are with your spouse. However if you find yourself hating your wife, seeking to beat or kill her, leave and find yourself. You won't find the fairytale you are seeking, but your child's mother will be alive.

hey, don't scare me!!

This OP has come again. Please leave this woman alone. Divorce her before you kill her. Similar topic you had on this page a few weeks ago. Just ask her for a divorce and let her have peace. Don't worry about hurting her. I am sure you will be doing her a favour by divorcing her.

gabazin080:
not sure. cus she was a side chic turned wife due to pregnancy

Did you pay dowry on her? if not the marriage is not consummated.

Brother please talk to your pastor
.this is a sensitive matter because kids are involve, there are question I will like to ask from you, are you a Christian? If yes we Nigerian have constitution guiding us same way has Christian we have ten commandment guiding us God give condition for separation, unless on those two condition will a man divorce his wife, 1 she is a single mum what happen to the formal husband, marriage are cross we are. Ment to carry although not the case of adultery. My advise Pls brother talk to your pastor pray and allow God to guide you.Gof help you.

Where you forced or sleeping when you got married to go, or the infatuation led you to marry her? My friend it is for better for worse, just be patient, understudy her and know the root cause of the problem. At this stage no go going back, except you want to answer a divorcee.

She has a son for you...talk to her, make her understand the way you are feeling,you might be shock to your bones that she too, has her own story to tell,she might be enduring the Marraige and not enjoying it,80% of Nigerian women are in this corner,only a very few women really do enjoy their Marraige's.....Divorce brings so much pain and hurt.....no wonder Jesus Christ never encourage us for a divorce,only on the ground of furnication..Talk to your wife,be very calm and respectful,then you will hear her own part of the story...One love.

gabazin080:
I am tired of my marriage. my only joy in that marriage is my look-alike 1yr old son. i married a single mother. she tells a lot of lies and i felt she might be cheating on me. though she doesnt know how i feel about her cus she is always eager to see me get back from work. but i just dont love her anymore and i now get home late in the might. i want to quit and keep my boy. how do i do it without hurting her

please before you quit
confirm if she is really cheating?
the kind of lies she tells you?
is it the type of lies that leads or can course cheating. or involves life and death?
Is she a confident person that does not have complex?
What are her qualities that you like and can develop?
Does she have a Job or she just sits at home all day?
Apart from the lies does she have any bad or life threatening attitude to you?
Then the final question hora to you is she that bad that you think living her is the best option now and are you sure the person you are living her for has a better attitude?
Any time she tells you lies tell her to her face she is lying with proofs if any and tell her she should not do that again and have a way of dealing with her. For me I prefer emotional punishment.
Ponder on this before taking your decisions
wish you the best.

gabazin080:
I am tired of my marriage. my only joy in that marriage is my look-alike 1yr old son. i married a single mother. she tells a lot of lies and i felt she might be cheating on me. though she doesnt know how i feel about her cus she is always eager to see me get back from work. but i just dont love her anymore and i now get home late in the might. i want to quit and keep my boy. how do i do it without hurting her

please before you quit
confirm if she is really cheating?
the kind of lies she tells you?
is it the type of lies that leads or can course cheating. or involves life and death?
Is she a confident person that does not have complex?
What are her qualities that you like and can develop?
Does she have a Job or she just sits at home all day?
Apart from the lies does she have any bad or life threatening attitude to you?
Then the final question hora to you is she that bad that you think living her is the best option now and are you sure the person you are living her for has a better attitude?
Any time she tells you lies tell her to her face she is lying with proofs if any and tell her she should not do that again and have a way of dealing with her. For me I prefer emotional punishment.
Ponder on this before taking your decisions
wish you the best.

gabazin080:
not sure. cus she was a side chic turned wife due to pregnancy

Sometimes i don't understand guys...u are not sure..u went ahead got her pregnant and now u are seeking for advice to divorce or not.bring a constructive questions let advice not this.

This feelings you got about your wife is not new neither is it peculiar to you.
First, seek help from marriage councillor
Second, buy book on marriage
Thirdly, if u can't do the first two above, meet successful couple let them share their stories of their early years in marriage with you. You may be inspired to keep holding on till you can overcome this feeling
Then you will realise it's a common feeling that comes with early marriage which goes with time.

Gratefulsoul:


Why then did you go on with the marriage when you fully aware you don't love her.. Marriage isn't relationship or courtship, its a life contract. I will advice you look inward and deep down in your heart there is this atom of feeling or love which you once had for her cos am sure you didn't impregnate her through wifi but through love making, try and ignite those feelings again and learn to love her but this time not as a side chick but as a wife and also the mother of your sweet boy..

Brilliant and divine... Guys pls stop encouraging anyone to divorce or have a side chick. If u can't contribute positively just be quiet please.

gabazin080:
I am tired of my marriage.

Are you married officially?

Omudia11:
I hope you will also understand when your wife starts sleeping with other men and come back to you "on her own volition"....

hahahaha, speechless

Just by bringing it here alone as you have done bro, so don't even think of doing it again in any other form because you must surely hurt her - the only mother of your look-alike.

gabazin080:
wish i could. i want to learn pls

Try and see the good in her not the wrongs.

You said she's always eager to see you get back from work. You can start from there, that is the sign of a woman that loves you.

Think of other ways to make your marriage work, don't think of divorce.

If she is in the habit of doing things that irritate you, talk to her (not shout on her o) because she may be doing them ignorantly.

gabazin080:
I am tired of my marriage. my only joy in that marriage is my look-alike 1yr old son. i married a single mother. she tells a lot of lies and i felt she might be cheating on me. though she doesnt know how i feel about her cus she is always eager to see me get back from work. but i just dont love her anymore and i now get home late in the might. i want to quit and keep my boy. how do i do it without hurting her

2 years is too early to throw in the towel. Go and make her who you want her to be and you can!

Women are designed to be molded through love by their husbands not their boy friends. That is why you can never get a woman without issues. Not that men don't have their own issues oo.

Huh

menxer:
Marry in haste regret/divorce in leisure.

I guess it was "for better for worse"

All you need is a side chick, for a while not divorce.

I go with this guy ooo......Why divorce her? Abu u one dy divorce always?

Is dere a way you can pour iodine on a fresh wound without hurting you


if yes, then you can do same to your wife without hurting her.


plus, you never give us genuine reason why you don't want her anymore..... you only felt she is cheating, you never caught her cheating..... no be excuse, egbon!



if you dump her, you're creating more troubles to we, men that might fall victim of her....
you met her has a single mother, she born pikin for u, ur pikin don get step-pikin, if you dump her now, she will turn singled single mother, another man will fall victim, burn for that one too, ur own pikin go con get stepbrother/sister


please, that's your cross, carry am with passion.


#mawakobawa.

I can see da u don't luv ur son,no woman can take good care ur son.pls,pray about.Gud luck

Ohhhh nooo, my busy schedule wont just make advice uuu now OP, which tribe are you? Why did you marry someone u dont love? Are you a Christian? Do you love God?

keepingmum:
She was a side chic? Yet u were nacking her raw in all angles? You were also cheating on her as well. But u want to divorce her because u "feel" she's doing what you were doing to her?? No proof oo... I am guessing u have gotten another babe abi?

Continue playing wt the feelings of women you hear? The thunnnndererrrr that will fire you, is coming from Buhari's 2017 budget

this guy is crazy

Omudia11:
Love is enough. If Love isn't enough then what you have isn't love.

If love is enough you won't be having break up in relationships and marriages after the couple have proclaimed love to each other. Love is just and illusion and a feeling. The main thing is compatibility. Are you guyz compactible to live together. Nobody and nothing can seperate two spouse that are compactible.

Congrats on your cowardice, I didnt know you were such a quitter. You should have been called quitter.

There are no perfect marriages, people stay together because they re determined to.

If you re planning to quit after just 2 yrs then you dont have what it takes to stay in a marrige and lack the capacity to make the right choice in a partner.

Divorce is a trend, once it starts it continues, you will always have a valid reason to ditch another woman.

Take that from me.

Tell her you are no longer enjoying the marriage.

Afam4eva:


https://www.nairaland.com/2087887/both-tired-too-afraid-breakup

Afam4eva has busted the guy. Truth is that op is not ready for marriage.

kaeforum:
Congrats on your cowardice, I didnt know you were such a quitter. You should have been called quitter.

There are no perfect marriages, people stay together because they re determined to.

If you re planning to quit after just 2 yrs then you dont have what it takes to stay in a marrige and lack the capacity to make the right choice in a partner.

Take that from me.

Perfect response. Marriage is not for quitters.

kayguy2:
Tell her you are no longer enjoying the marriage.

Then after that, what happens? I'm interested to know.

octopusfreaky:
Ohhhh nooo, my busy schedule wont just make advice uuu now OP, which tribe are you? Why did you marry someone u dont love? Are you a Christian? Do you love God?

What has tribe got to do with the issue at hand?

.