...........

chibuike65:
Am in one i think am going to call it off since 2012 just meet once but she's cool, how do you handle your long distance relationship

Bro, before you "call it off" i will advise you to have a chat with www.nairaland.com/TheCOB


She will be of help.

Jayson1:
Bro, before you "call it off" i will advise you to have a chat with www.nairaland.com/TheCOB


She will be of help.

Thanks boss

TheCOB:

Thanks boss

You welcome..... Pleasant morning to you.

Jayson1:
Pleasant morning to you.

And you too

Jayson1:
Bro, before you "call it off" i will advise you to have a chat with www.nairaland.com/TheCOB


She will be of help.

how?

chibuike65:
how?

The general opinion of long distance relationships is that they don't last. And as much as we want to discredit such myths, we cannot but agree that there is some good reason for the thought. I like to refer to this thought as "The theory of Assumptions".

I'm going to talk on a general note and hope to get your PM so I can actually understand the peculiarities in your story. Although I must say, that you asked for advise is commendable; it shows a desire to make it work #ThumbsUp

Long distance relationships last and infact, done rightly, they last longer in marriage.

A long-distance couple already know that many of the odds are against them, hence they tend to put in more efforts in bonding more than partners who are physically close to each other.

How does it work?

First things first, you need to ask yourself some homemade questions before you embark on a long-distance. It isn't for the fainthearted, and it most certainly isn't for you if you are in just for the fun.

Long-distance relationships work only when the two partners genuinely love each other and truly want to be together.
So from the kick-off point, tell yourself that you're in for a lifetime. Make the decision to stick with this individual forever. When your mind is set towards forever, it makes it easier to filter through problems and find a solution, it helps for your mind not to constantly present breaking up as a solution. Basically it's a way of tailoring your mind towards a particular focus.

At the point where you mind is set on forever, it makes it easier to Pour out your very best into the relationship.
Now this is where many Long-distance relationships crash; Humans because of our assumptions are scared to put in their best into a relationship - "what if she ain't loyal? What if we breakup? How I'm I sure she ain't seeing someone else where she is? What if it simply doesn't work?" The irony though, is that this fear of the unknown (which by the way is normal) gets the better part of many of us and eventually become the real reason for the actualization of such fears.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Yes you may lose but what if you don't?

Every other thing done for a successful Long-distance relationship, lies within the corridors of these two principles:

Make a decision of forever. Note that, the fact that you have made this decision doesn't guarantee that forever would happen. However it gets you closer to such realization. It gives you the mental-kick needed to make it work.

Do your best, Do your part. In a Long-distance relationship, your partner may be doing all the right things or even all the wrong things. But none of these would matter if you yourself aren't doing your part and giving your best. Make sure to have exhausted all possible 'do-abilities' on your part before you call it quits.

I do hope that you send me a PM let's see how to make this work. Cheers!

TheCOB:



The general opinion of long distance relationships is that they don't last. And as much as we want to discredit such myths, we cannot but agree that there is some good reason for the thought. I like to refer to this thought as "The theory of Assumptions".

I'm going to talk on a general note and hope to get your PM so I can actually understand the peculiarities in your story. Although I must say, that you asked for advise is commendable; it shows a desire to make it work #ThumbsUp

Long distance relationships last and infact, done rightly, they last longer in marriage.

A long-distance couple already know that many of the odds are against them, hence they tend to put in more efforts in bonding more than partners who are physically close to each other.

How does it work?

First things first, you need to ask yourself some homemade questions before you embark on a long-distance. It isn't for the fainthearted, and it most certainly isn't for you if you are in just for the fun.

Long-distance relationships work only when the two partners genuinely love each other and truly want to be together.
So from the kick-off point, tell yourself that you're in for a lifetime. Make the decision to stick with this individual forever. When your mind is set towards forever, it makes it easier to filter through problems and find a solution, it helps for your mind not to constantly present breaking up as a solution. Basically it's a way of tailoring your mind towards a particular focus.

At the point where you mind is set on forever, it makes it easier to Pour out your very best into the relationship.
Now this is where many Long-distance relationships crash; Humans because of our assumptions are scared to put in their best into a relationship - "what if she ain't loyal? What if we breakup? How I'm I sure she ain't seeing someone else where she is? What if it simply doesn't work?" The irony though, is that this fear of the unknown (which by the way is normal) gets the better part of many of us and eventually become the real reason for the actualization of such fears.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Yes you may lose but what if you don't?

Every other thing done for a successful Long-distance relationship, lies within the corridors of these two principles:

Make a decision of forever. Note that, the fact that you have made this decision doesn't guarantee that forever would happen. However it gets you closer to such realization. It gives you the mental-kick needed to make it work.

Do your best, Do your part. In a Long-distance relationship, your partner may be doing all the right things or even all the wrong things. But none of these would matter if you yourself aren't doing your part and giving your best. Make ure to have exhausted all possible 'do-abilities' on your part before you call it quits.

I do hope that you send me a PM let's see how to make this work. Cheers!

thanks a lot you nailed it but this not gonna help yea I love her she also love I think more than I love her but how do you cope with this I mean when you feel lonely when you need someone to cuddle, really I need something different

chibuike65:
thanks a lot you nailed it but this not gonna help yea I love her she also love I think more than I love her but how do you cope with this I mean when you feel lonely when you need someone to cuddle, really I need something different

Where do you stay? And where does she stay?

chibuike65:
thanks a lot you nailed it but this not gonna help yea I love her she also love I think more than I love her but how do you cope with this I mean when you feel lonely when you need someone to cuddle, really I need something different

Bia Nwoke, you did not thank me also abi?

BTW, TheCOB, thanks for the advise.

TheCOB:


Where do you stay? And where does she stay?

am in abuja she in abia state

Jayson1:
Bia Nwoke, you did not thank me also abi?

BTW, TheCOB, thanks for the advise.

bros you too much you know weather is your sister?

Jayson1:
Bia Nwoke, you did not thank me also abi?

BTW, TheCOB, thanks for the advise.

bros you too much you know weather is your sister?

chibuike65:
am in abuja she in abia state

Okay. How often do you get to visit each other?

chibuike65:
bros you too much you know weather is your sister?

Lol, if i break your leg ehn....


Anyway, it's all good bro. Please when next she's visiting, tell her to bring one of her beautiful friend along.

Jayson1:
Lol, i break your leg ehn....


Anyway, it's all good bro. Please when next she's visiting, tell her to bring one of her beautiful friend along.

this man self

TheCOB:


Okay. How often do you get to visit each other?

just once in 4yrs am tired of it is like am in prison really want to get out

TheCOB:


Okay. How often do you get to visit each other?

don't know how to tell her that I want out

Jayson1:
Lol, i break your leg ehn....


Anyway, it's all good bro. Please when next she's visiting, tell her to bring one of her beautiful friend along.

it's all good I gat them good good ones for you

God bless you... it's not easy but the good thing about it is the excellent communication and friendship built. And knowing that breaking up is never an option

[Qquote author=TheCOB post=52088367]


The general opinion of long distance relationships is that they don't last. And as much as we want to discredit such myths, we cannot but agree that there is some good reason for the thought. I like to refer to this thought as "The theory of Assumptions".

I'm going to talk on a general note and hope to get your PM so I can actually understand the peculiarities in your story. Although I must say, that you asked for advise is commendable; it shows a desire to make it work #ThumbsUp

Long distance relationships last and infact, done rightly, they last longer in marriage.

A long-distance couple already know that many of the odds are against them, hence they tend to put in more efforts in bonding more than partners who are physically close to each other.

How does it work?

First things first, you need to ask yourself some homemade questions before you embark on a long-distance. It isn't for the fainthearted, and it most certainly isn't for you if you are in just for the fun.

Long-distance relationships work only when the two partners genuinely love each other and truly want to be together.
So from the kick-off point, tell yourself that you're in for a lifetime. Make the decision to stick with this individual forever. When your mind is set towards forever, it makes it easier to filter through problems and find a solution, it helps for your mind not to constantly present breaking up as a solution. Basically it's a way of tailoring your mind towards a particular focus.

At the point where you mind is set on forever, it makes it easier to Pour out your very best into the relationship.
Now this is where many Long-distance relationships crash; Humans because of our assumptions are scared to put in their best into a relationship - "what if she ain't loyal? What if we breakup? How I'm I sure she ain't seeing someone else where she is? What if it simply doesn't work?" The irony though, is that this fear of the unknown (which by the way is normal) gets the better part of many of us and eventually become the real reason for the actualization of such fears.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Yes you may lose but what if you don't?

Every other thing done for a successful Long-distance relationship, lies within the corridors of these two principles:

Make a decision of forever. Note that, the fact that you have made this decision doesn't guarantee that forever would happen. However it gets you closer to such realization. It gives you the mental-kick needed to make it work.

Do your best, Do your part. In a Long-distance relationship, your partner may be doing all the right things or even all the wrong things. But none of these would matter if you yourself aren't doing your part and giving your best. Make sure to have exhausted all possible 'do-abilities' on your part before you call it quits.

I do hope that you send me a PM let's see how to make this work. Cheers![/quote]

chibuike65:
it's all good I gat them good good ones for you

Thank you sir.

ucheHapers:
God bless you... it's not easy but the good thing about it is the excellent communication and friendship built. And knowing that breaking up is never an option

Amen

May God bless you too

chibuike65:
just once in 4yrs am tired of it is like am in prison really want to get out

I don't understand. You mean in 4 years of the dating, you have seen each other just once

TheCOB:


I don't understand. You mean in 4 years of the dating, you have seen each other just once

yea

chibuike65:
yea

Really that's a recipe for disaster.

As much as physical bonding isn't all there is to a relationship, how connected can you truly be to an individual you have met only once? Whatever connection formed therein would be based on a perceived personality and could be quite different in the real physical world.

Why is that you have met only once? What circumstances brought you together?

Love goes beyond texting and phone calls. The strongest bonds are forged in reaction to tiny details like how she reacts to pressure and frustration, the way her eyes light up when she is excited, the worry you can sense in her when u have a problem, the joy you feel within yourself in her presence, the emotion you see in her eyes and her in the way her voice quivers as she shares with you her deepest troubles...... Etc etc....

So Chi, what has held both of you back from planning visits in the past 4 years?

TheCOB:


Really that's a recipe for disaster.

As much as physical bonding isn't all there is to a relationship, how connected can you truly be to an individual you have met only once? Whatever connection formed therein would be based on a perceived personality and could be quite different in the real physical world.

Why is that you have met only once? What circumstances brought you together?

Love goes beyond texting and phone calls. The strongest bonds are forged in reaction to tiny details like how she reacts to pressure and frustration, the way her eyes light up when she is excited, the worry you can sense in her when u have a problem, the joy you feel within yourself in her presence, the emotion you see in her eyes and her in the way her voice quivers as she shares with you her deepest troubles...... Etc etc....

So Chi, what has held both of you back from planning visits in the past 4 years?

wow you are quite interesting thanks a lot I really appreciate, here the nature of my job is really stressful am in force and she's mommy daughter

TheCOB:


Really that's a recipe for disaster.

As much as physical bonding isn't all there is to a relationship, how connected can you truly be to an individual you have met only once? Whatever connection formed therein would be based on a perceived personality and could be quite different in the real physical world.

Why is that you have met only once? What circumstances brought you together?

Love goes beyond texting and phone calls. The strongest bonds are forged in reaction to tiny details like how she reacts to pressure and frustration, the way her eyes light up when she is excited, the worry you can sense in her when u have a problem, the joy you feel within yourself in her presence, the emotion you see in her eyes and her in the way her voice quivers as she shares with you her deepest troubles...... Etc etc....

So Chi, what has held both of you back from planning visits in the past 4 years?

I thought of going home we both have plans together she even suggest we be on uniform me and her really it was a good idea but am shot of money cus I invest in mmm till she still think am coming how, don't know how to tell her that am not coming home

chibuike65:
wow you are quite interesting thanks a lot I really appreciate

Thanks a lot
Seen your PM and replied same

TheCOB:


Thanks a lot
Seen your PM and replied same

so what do you think I should go on and call it a quit

chibuike65:
so what do you think I should go on and call it a quit

No, not without giving it a good fight.

You sound like you sincerely care about her save for the technicalities of long-distance. And really, that's a good place to start. We'd work together to sort this out.

TheCOB:


No, not without giving it a good fight.
about
You sound like you sincerely care about her save for the technicalities of long-distance. And really, that's a good place to start. We'd work together to sort this out.

yea I care about her does too, hey am really tired of the whole thing I know she's not going find it easy when she will get my message telling it's over but I believe some day somewhere we will still again, am seeing someone now but I feel like cheating her really I need to call it off

chibuike65:
yea I care about her does too, hey am really tired of the whole thing I know she's not going find it easy when she will get my message telling it's over but I believe some day somewhere we will still again, am seeing someone now but I feel like cheating her really I need to call it off

Lolz as weirdly annoying as the quoted post is, I actually laughed!
Chi, how long have you been with this new person?