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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here (44533 Views)
'Frustrated' Lastborn Tired Of Housework Writes Warning Letter To Family Members / My Wife And Her Family Are Driving Me crazy / My MIL Is Driving Me Craazzy. Help! (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by HarveySpecter1: 6:12pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Billiondoe: Why are you so mean to that guy? Dont forget that you are in your late 20s and can't seem to have any direction in your relationship. Btw, you can't handle an ordinary relationship so how can advice a married person? People living in glass buildings shouldn't be throwing stones. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by MrsAnyanwu(f): 6:14pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Op , Is she working? Do u have kids? Did u discuss these issues with her during courtship? See marriage is a different from boyfriend or fiancee relationship, it's a different ball game I tell u, when d kids start coming ,it would be more difficult,cos she would try to deliver I'm the most expensive hospital, buy the most expensive baby foods, clothes, etc I would have said it's ur fault,but hey who am I to judge? Ur a man and the head of the home, set a standard for ur home, talk to ur wife, or was she born with a silver spoon? My friend ur d head of the house ooo, talk to her with love nd understanding, if she doesn't listen then take d topic to someone she respects, I don't like third party in my marriage, I and my husband settle inside the house, Goodluck 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by ThatIgboBoy: 6:15pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
HarveySpecter1: I second your comment Yeye geh 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by juman(m): 6:20pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Simple as abc. Make a decision on your spending and stand on it. Be a man. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by kaboninc(m): 6:24pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
ladyverere: Did this just come from a lady? Very interesting! Now I have hope for a good woman. Oya LadyF, coman learn ohhhh 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by mofy1(f): 6:25pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
One thing is to get married to a woman who understands u. Since the day my hubby told me about his project I have been the one telling him not to buy any unnecessary things to the house and gave him a time frame for the project to be completed.(that's a push). My advise is this.... Just sit her down and try to explain to her that u are not spending the money on any other lady outside because when a woman knows that u are a flirt, gbamm their next line of action is for them to help u lavish ur money since you do spend on other gals out there. Infact we don't care if u wear only one shirt all we know is that let's spend the money together. Once that is done and she still continue her lavish life style I advice u pretend to be broke for a while. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Jchi9876: 6:30pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Fuckkkkk her very well and return her back to hee hungry people |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by HarveySpecter1: 6:30pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
DonaTee: I really love to learn from married folks but I would like to understand what you mean by this. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:30pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
maysimsimple: Your wife left you because you were unable to provide for the family. I believe the op is able to provide, but he just wants advice on cutting back to plan for their future. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by kaboninc(m): 6:34pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
DonaTee: I have hope ohhh |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:36pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
There's always two sides to every story, let's hear ur wife first. Secondly are u prudent or just stingy? |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by HarveySpecter1: 6:38pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
kaboninc: Obviously,her blood brother is involved so it would be a very reasonable advice. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:41pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
overcomer123 the first and only mistake you made was to tell her how much you earn. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:42pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
That's why I dey FEAR MARRIAGE.... IF only I can design my own kind of woman. LADIES change with changing circumstances. That a LADY loves U , is because she hasn't encountered someone better than u. Because if she does, the relationship becomes a HISTORY. I have an account I opened for everything that has to do with my marriage in d near future. A comfortable apartment. But am very scared of the LADY that will be coming in soonest. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by fxtreme(m): 6:45pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
overcomer123: OP, listen to me. The QUOTED is the single source of your present tragedy. You alone are the sole cause of your predicament, and your wife is not to blame here. You set a high standard for her during courtship. She has gotten used to that standard. And now you expect her to 'use her brain' to understand that you were just being romantic then. So what stops you from 'continuing' to be the romantic spender now? Or is she no longer worth it? So stop painting her as unreasonable or wicked. She is just being human, as we all are creatures of habit. The way forward now, is for you to have a heart to heart talk with her, and explain things to her apologetically, because in my opinion, you deceived her during courtship and now you want things to change. For the unmarried ones here, learn from this story. While you're dating your better half, be real, be honest and do not pretend. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Anuoluwapo3054(m): 6:46pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Genea:lol... It's cool sha |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:48pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
SmellingAnus:Doing all these of course won't solve the problem. The solution is to deny her access to money and tell her both of you will relocate elsewhere, probably in the village. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by ThinkSmarter: 6:49pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
The truth z that some people re naturally extravagant or have high test, while some re extravagant or hv high test as a result of the way they were brought up or their background (high social status ]. Sorry to say, This type of scenario arises when in the course of dating a girl u discovered that she z extravagant or hv high test, but bc of ur likeness for the particular girl, u choose to ignore the red flags and continue to woo her with expensive gifts, hoping that after winning her u will abscond and tame her to abide by ur stds or lifestyles. But, unfortunately the trait of having high test or being extravagant is an innate one, and z always difficult to change personality. My advice to u z this, sit her down and discuss realities with her, tell her ur financial status, tell her ur future plans for the family, tell her that u understand her love for quality products but at times u hv to compromise and go for the modest ones, so that u can make savings for bigger projects and the rainy day. Tell her there z a difference between Need and Want. And if she still don't change, call the attention of a female associate or friend that she holds of high esteem to talk sense into her. She will definitely change, but as Baba will say "Change z a Gradual process " Don't argue much with her, use wisdom, patience and perseverance and whenever you make decisions against her will, try to Seduce[ confuse, trick, manipulate ] her with gifts that will make her to forget easily, u know those little stuffs that women do get obsessed with,learn to smile, tease her till she laughs and forgets about ur manipulations, That z why u re d man, u re more of a logical being, and with time she will start respecting ur decision and u will become a full Alpha male, this doesn't mean that u will not involve her in decision making, but that u will be in control . Good luck. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by eRex(m): 6:50pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
There is always several ways to kill a rat. I had something similar. When dialogue and common reasoning failed What I did: Withdrew all the cash.. went on leave and we both Blew the cash to infinity. Then we came to Zero.. Lesson learnt the hard way.. then the eyes of her understanding started opening. For the next one month we respected money well. If you abuse it, it will disgrace u 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Donpoker9(m): 6:50pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
1 Like
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Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:51pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Catalin:Yes. You don't tell a woman how much you earn otherwise you're in trouble. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:55pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
ThinkSmarter:Damn! You're a man indeed! Your advice is unique. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by pocohantas(f): 6:57pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
kaboninc:You have intentionally refused to see the good testimonies on this thread and learn from them, but go about quoting the bad ones. Why do people revel in bad news like this? "You don't know women"...do we know men? Humans generally are bound to change. When you live with someone in same house, you'll notice new things, good and bad! With the way you only notice troubled marriages, I hope you don't end in one. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by gabicon: 6:57pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
overcomer123: simply create a budget for whatever expense and both of you have to stick to it. if she feels that she needs to upgrade a purchase then she is free to add the extra. But i must tell you, lack of synergy in a couples finances is trouble waiting to happen you both should sit down and work out a plan for your finances. do this before you start having kids. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 6:58pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
maysimsimple:Your case is totally different. You had no money. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by jeyselassie(m): 6:59pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Genea:you better start trying to understand and relate fast. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by tijayjay: 7:00pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Seriously, i have dated a lady that behaved exactly like your wife, once she discovered any money with me, the next thought or idea that will come from her is to spend the money, even if i protest that the money should be save or put to investment, she rather prefer the money being spend on buying flashy items such as expensive cloths or items. But amazingly, when she earned her own money, she will never spend it she will rather prefer to save it and lavish my own money, and when you go broke and asked her for money she will never agreed that she have, i had to called off the relationship so i will not die young. On several occasion i had to stamped my authority as man and it will lead to quarrel as she is also authoritative. My advise to you since you are already married, talking will not help, ladies dont listen to talks, they prefer action, stamped your authority, talk less and act more, stop given her money, give her money for only items you approved of, and if she add up her money fine, but if she spend lavishly without your approval punish her and let her know the reason, never raised your hand on her, the punishment here is a coded one, either u cut down her next allowance or when she ask for fund let her know you are broke. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by drnoel: 7:01pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
overcomer123: Lol @ ur last comment. It happens so don't sweat it. Women are built differently and some of em are just spendthrift. U as the man have to look her in the eye ball and don't blink, if not she will feel she can have her way anytime. I had to devise means to handle my wife. Till today my wife cant tell u the exact amount I earn, she just knew an estimate and wanted to go on a mad shopping spree like we used to do while dating. I just eyeballed her and told her "baby its not like that. This one is no more dating but na marriage so u got to work with me to save". She corrected herself after then |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 7:03pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
This is one of the drawbacks about women. They respond and react the way you handle them the first day. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by Nobody: 7:10pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
no solid examples of your wife's 'lavish' taste versus your 'prudent' taste? do you go for tecno phones while your wife goes for samsung? do you go for bluegate tv while your wife goes for LG? do you go for chery cars while your wife goes for toyota? do you for toyota while she goes for mercedes? do you go for samsung while she goes for iphone? do you go for LG while she goes for bang and olufsen? i'm asking this because from what you've written, i cannot tell if you are cheap/stingy or your wife is a lavish spendthrift there is something called lifecycle cost - when you buy some things cheap, you spend that entire lifespan of those items servicing and repairing and spending more than the cost of the items. some of my colleagues in the office, feeling prudent, or maybe smart, bought the early generation tecno phones. they all had bitter stories about poor quality and zero customer service when the phones went faulty. they wasted several days going back and forth with carlcare. one of these guys bought a sony phone two years back to replace the tecno. he is using the phone till today, even though it has a hairline crack in the screen. my point - sometimes we substitute thriftiness for common sense. its the same way some people go to buy land in ikorodu or iyana paja while working in VI or marina. they then spend half their lives in traffic. from what you've posted, i cant make any judgement if however your wife is acting like the typical naija woman - your salary if for us while my salary is for me - then there is a problem. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by steppins: 7:14pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Genea:Way to go! Advertising isn't such a bad idea. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here by jamislaw(m): 7:14pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
I read alot of comments, what is she doing with her own money? I can't take that when I was in my father's house my mum used to contribute almost 35% financially. Mr Man you have along way to go if you started paying children school fees that's when you will know her true colour. 1 Like |
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