Good day Nairalanders

I dont want to bug you with a very long text. I will be as brief as I can.

First let me start giving an overview of the time line of the relationship.
I met Goodness through my old time university friend (on her DP) She helped me with her contact and we got along. This time I was working with a private coy in Lagos. Goodness told me she had relationship but the relationship is having some issue that we could be friends. I promised to come and see her in school and I left from Lagos 2 Kogi to see her.  I left lagos around 9am and arrived at her school by 10pm on this faithful day and on the sight of Goodness I fell in love with her even though Goodness was typical opposites of the kind of lady I have always thought  I will get married to (slim, not busty, tall.. but Goodness was not).

I stayed had talked and she accepted on the note that her present boyfriend as at then was misbehaving. I went back a couple of times to see her, went with to her village, met some of her people there and it was fun.

An opportunity came for me at my place of work where I could decide to relocate to anywhere in Nigeria to work. In her consent she asked me to relocate to Lokoja Kogi State so that we can get to see more and distance wont be a barrier.

I have also done a few things in my capacity for financially, in her academic and I support her in every little BIG way I can.

I fight alot but make up easily, there was one that I broke my phone in the process. I don't want to bug you with the details but we fight and we realise ourselves each time we fight.

I have been to her home and she has been at mine. Both families like each other (except for her dad that doesn't know me)


Now to the main issue: Goodness is the last child of her family with 3 girls and 2boy. One of her sisters got married to her tribe while the other got married to an Igbo man. The one that got married Igbo man got divorced after two year while the other is still happily married with 3kid

Base of the aforementioned, Goodness dad is furious cos he wasn't in total support but because Goodness elder sister insisted she loved the man. The wedding was approved and they started noticing some odds from the day they got married.

About a month ago I got this text from Goodness:

Desmond all dis tins happening is not my fault  I wish I can do something abt it. I don't want 2 sturbornly do anything dat my father  will not give me his blessings or see me as a disobedient child am sorry dis is happening am not happy with d situation either. With all dis I just want 2 go by my fathers words Desmond am sorry we can't get married let's not force it.

I called her talked to her I try to make her see reasons why it could work. I talk to her sisters and brothers they all gave me their words that everything will be fine except one of elder brother who said its better I leave her that the issue is not the father but other extended family will won't approve it that the father could be convinced. But after a while I spoke to him again and he said we should pray that everything will be fine.

But Goodness herself is not supporting she insist her father will go against it that I should rather forget it.

I asked her i who she loves more: Myself of her dad and she said the love she has for her dad is different from the one she has for me.


Let me add this: the issue of my father wont approve it intensified after I lost my job. The job I lost all by my decision to come closer to her. The job conditions is crazy her as meeting my target is almost impossible because of the location I am.


I think it's beyond what her father is saying, I think she has someone else (someone from her tribe) I think she never loved me cos if she did she will stand by me to see how we are going to make it work. Besides we have not even gone to her father not to talk of him rejecting it. All this is just a speculation based on the present circumstances. I think it is because I have lost my job and she doesn't believe in me anymore.

I love Goodness and I ask was her encouragement that things will work.

Should I give up like she has or talk her again or just let go

I am going crazy... please help

#Loveyoueveryday
Matured minds please.

Thank you.

My brother, It's well with U. I might not give u the best advice because there's no best advice. But I will say, retreat. Focus on ur career, become a better you.relatinship wise, Follow ur mind. Do what is within ur capacity to keep her. If it doesn't work, rejoice. Move on. There are alot of other nice ladies that will make u forget her. In Ibo we say: Nkiruka.

so sorry about the whole thing. It's obvious her heart is somewhere else. just forget about her and move on. Though you may not find it easy, it's the right step to take for now.

but wait o... who is she supposed to like more between you and her dad? i'm confused here.

Ramanto:
so sorry about the whole thing. It's obvious her heart is somewhere else. just forget about her and move on. Though you may not find it easy, it's the right step to take for now.

but wait o... who is she supposed to like more between you and her dad? i'm confused here.

Hmmm.. really complicated

She never really loved u, even not she would have tried to make it work..

Ayo! I feel ur pain bro! Similar stuff happened to me...mine was Igbo! No use crying over split milk! My advice? Focus on getting a job first guy! Without that...ur still not a man! Please I beg u.....don't be so discouraged u forget ur a man......changing ur location to please her sounded cool but was d wrong thing to do at that time........n she still forgot that n let u down when u need her most!
Focus bro! Forget her for now! Get a new job first.....
My two cents!

Life has too many problems itself, to add lack of parents' support for one's marriage is another complicated problem on its own. That's why I don't like emotional gamble i.e fall in love with a guy without my parents' knowning but it doesn't mean I can't quit the relationship if I want. Atleast they will hint if they don't like the guy and I will free the poor nigga earlier with minimal damage to our feelings. Sorry man, when you start having female kids, you will appreciate her decision to put her dad first. Her dad might later support it but it will be like a forced support. It doesn't mean she didn't love you. I still remember me killing my likeness for a guy for my dad till date (No regrets and he is doing well). Life dealt you a lesson, pick yourself up, raise your head high and be great. Your own girl is coming along but I don't know when.

How about the love of her father more than her supposedly spouse? ... in the bible it was there that a woman rib was made out of one man's rib. Our parents are just vessels that brought us to this world. #MyOpinion

One thing I learnt in life is to move ahead despite whatever it is.ask her if she is not interested.if actually she is not just leave her.l believe someone special will still come.okay