chizzy4love:

She has some savings from her previous job just not enough,she said about 1.5m.thats why she needed her husband to open a business for her but he indirectly dosnt want her to work.

She needs to get a job and not wait for her husband to fund a business venture for her. He most likely wants her to be dependent on him so it's time she puts on her big girl pants and start thinking about her financial future. What if, God forbid, her husband lost his job, how will they sustain the family? Your sister is educated, she should put that to use instead of waiting for manna to fall from heaven.

chizzy4love:

1.5 million can't start a proper boutique.it can't even cover her upkeep alone for 6 months.we are from a middle class background.Even I, as a single working class girl right now have way more than that in my account now and it's no money to me.after renting won't she furnish,feed herself and the baby.she already has a high standard of living.we are from middle class family .we live a comfortable life.so to me,1.5m is really nothing.trust me.
besides,she was earning about 150k every month before she resigned her job and lived in a 2 bedroom flat as a single girl.hope you understand now.

she doesn't want to hustle, life isn't a bed of roses, most of the big igbo clothing dealers started out with far less than 1.5million and are big boys today.

SirVintageCock:
so what do you want? These shows that you and your sister can plunge in headon into a problem just to maintain an unhappy lifestyle.
She resigned, married and followed her horseband because he is a money bag even quite aware of his cheating tendencies because he satisfy her every need.

Dear,you have totally missed the point here.the man said the reason he married my sis was because they started dating when he dint have even one car.family wise we are richer but he has made money for himself now.My sister dated him for 9 years.she dint have proof of his cheating then.So you see,she dint plunge in Headon into problem,she just married the wrong guy.
All these things I see is the reason I am being very careful before saying I do.I don't have strength for wahala.I am single now by choice not that I don't have suitors.

Do you want your nephew to know his daddy from a distance? Do you want your sister to jump when she has not been pushed? Leaving the house will justify him bringing in someone else.If they go to church let them go for marriage counselling. I'm not saying she should report him to the church. But she needs to let him know their marriage needs God or the devil will separate them.A marriage is about 2 ppl. Your sister needs to confront her husband in a loving and wise way and they need to talk If their talk don't change nothing let her get a third party involved. My advise don't let her run off

Nancy2016:


She needs to get a job and not wait for her husband to fund a business venture for her. He most likely wants her to be dependent on him so it's time she puts on her big girl pants and start thinking about her financial future. What if, God forbid, her lost husband lost his job, how will they sustain the family? Your sister is educated, she should put that to use instead of waiting for manna to fall from heaven.

You have a point.She and her husband initially wanted to finish having kids before she continues working but with what's on ground now.she has little choice.

blazer234:
Your sister has no job I guess. She saw a man that is financially OK and married him. Your sister never knew what attracted her to the man will also attract other girls to the man.

Who is paying the bills? Your sister or the husband? How much is your sister contributing to home upkeep? Maybe nothing. So why is she complaining? Is the man collecting money from her to sleep with those girls? Is he not meeting your sister's needs? Oh, your sister wants to have the man and all his money to herself, right?

This is one of the challenges of being a full dependant on your husband. It renders you incapacitated and you will have no say since you can't even feed yourself until your husband gives you money. She should allow the man to enjoy his money.

A women who depends on husband for virtually everything has lost respect and she should take whatever comes her way. Marrying a financially sound man has got its price.

^^

See one of them. You can see by how he is defending the cheating husband that they are a kindred spirit.

chizzy4love:

my dad is the only one that can support her but he is not happy with her cos he warned her not to marry a man from his tribe and finish her masters first but she refused.

You guys need to convince your dad that she needs him Now more than ever. You see why it is very dangerous to go against your parents wishes when it comes to choosing a husband, because thewhen yawa gass who will be your support?


Temporary separation is the best b4 hee gives her hiv

Geet

chizzy4love:

my dad is the only one that can support her but he is not happy with her cos he warned her not to marry a man from his tribe and finish her masters first but she refused.

You guys need to convince your dad that she needs him Now more than ever. You see why it is very dangerous to go against your parents wishes when it comes to choosing a husband, because thewhen yawa gass who will be your support?


Temporary separation is the best b4 hee gives her hiv

Get a lawyer to settle Out of court the sons upKeEp

blackboy:
Do you want your nephew to know his daddy from a distance? Do you want your sister to jump when she has not been pushed? Leaving the house will justify him bringing in someone else.If they go to church let them go for marriage counselling. I'm not saying she should report him to the church. But she needs to let him know their marriage needs God or the devil will separate them.A marriage is about 2 ppl. Your sister needs to confront her husband in a loving and wise way and they need to talk If their talk don't change nothing let her get a third party involved. My advise don't let her run off

The worst is if she confronts him now,he will kneel down,beg ,cry as if he means it but at the end he will continue.thats the kind of guy he is.My sister said that was what he did during courtship but she forgave him because she dint have proof.
My sister is older than me.what I intend to do is show her this page later on so that she can read people's responses.
She had better suitor then coming for her then but she settled for the cheat because she believed they've come a long way.Such is life.

Ishilove:

^^
See one of them. You can see by how he is defending the cheating husband that they are a kindred spirit.

SirVintageCock:

Hi. Have I ever told you you have a most fascinating username?

ShaqFu:

Yels, darling?

blazer234:
Your sister has no job I guess. She saw a man that is financially OK and married him. Your sister never knew what attracted her to the man will also attract other girls to the man.

Who is paying the bills? Your sister or the husband? How much is your sister contributing to home upkeep? Maybe nothing. So why is she complaining? Is the man collecting money from her to sleep with those girls? Is he not meeting your sister's needs? Oh, your sister wants to have the man and all his money to herself, right?

This is one of the challenges of being a full dependant on your husband. It renders you incapacitated and you will have no say since you can't even feed yourself until your husband gives you money. She should allow the man to enjoy his money.

A women who depends on husband for virtually everything has lost respect and she should take whatever comes her way. Marrying a financially sound man has got its price.

Am sure you saw the part where she said her sister courted the man for 9 years... Does this ring a bell to you? What does it mean?. This is to tell u that she was with him through thick nd thin probably before he made it.

Ishilove:

Hi. Have I ever told you you have a most fascinating username?

nay ma'am.

Ishilove:

Yels, darling?

Nothing.

SirVintageCock:
nay ma'am.

Now you know

Is it Vintage Cockerel or Vintage Penis_?

Then help her with your own money.
Since you're single and don't have as much responsibility as she does.
Hard times call for hard measures.
Reduce your standard of living and she reduce hers too until she is settled down.
I would do the same for my sister.
Unless she wants to die of STDs and you'll use your plenty money to buy fine lace and gele for her funeral.

chizzy4love:

1.5 million can't start a proper boutique.it can't even cover her upkeep alone for 6 months.we are from a middle class background.Even I, as a single working class girl right now have way more than that in my account now and it's no money to me.after renting won't she furnish,feed herself and the baby.she already has a high standard of living.we are from middle class family .we live a comfortable life.so to me,1.5m is really nothing.trust me.
besides,she was earning about 150k every month before she resigned her job and lived in a 2 bedroom flat as a single girl.hope you understand now.

chizzy4love:

Dear,you have totally missed the point here.the man said the reason he married my sis was because they started dating when he dint have even one car.family wise we are richer but he has made money for himself now.My sister dated him for 9 years.she dint have proof of his cheating then.So you see,she dint plunge in Headon into problem,she just married the wrong guy.
All these things I see is the reason I am being very careful before saying I do.I don't have strength for wahala.I am single now by choice not that I don't have suitors.

She probably saw warning signs, but ignored them, made excuses for them or listened to his excuses. There r always warnings signs when someone cheats, it just depends on what u want to see or believe. If he cheated with 3 different girls before they got married, there were def signs.

I have a male cousin like that, he is way older than me and married, sometimes I just look at him and wonder what is wrong with him. He is never satisfied, he just have this uncontrollable desire for the opposite sex, sometimes I even wonder if he is cursed because some of the girls he lusts after, even I, won't look at them twice.

Your sister should just dump him, she deserves better. But before she does that, she should stop investing her emotions on him and start seeing him as just a fvcking material when she is bored and her personal ATM machine till she is financially bouyant and then dump his ass out of the blue without giving him a heads up.

chizzy4love:

She is an Economics and statistics 2:1 graduate and she already have a standard of living.I just pray she gets another job quickly.she has always been on a high salary before now so it will be really difficult for her to do a teaching or clerical job with peanut as pay.Hope you understand.
She just sacrificed her life for a cheating husband.

i hear u and all what u wrote are just excuses and signs of 'big girl' syndrome.what is 2.1?what is economics and statistics? i read maths&computer,graduated with 2.1 in 2007! so i know about all that.i think ur sis has 2 options,either d 1st one i said or she stays in d marriage,for now,she allows no sex btw them or insists she use condom.u can even help her with ur own money now.i just gave worst case scenario of teaching/clerical job but she doesnt hv to do dt.i still maintains dt 1.5m is enough to set up a biz.how did i know in my mind dt she was thinkin of a boutique/supermarket.women and stereotype!there r even enough of those.she shd think outside d box.

She should walk out of his life...But not without some cool cash. Let her invent a story to get him to cough out something on her way out. That dude is gonna be the death of her soon...

chizzy4love:

1.5 million can't start a proper boutique.it can't even cover her upkeep alone for 6 months.we are from a middle class background.Even I, as a single working class girl right now have way more than that in my account now and it's no money to me.after renting won't she furnish,feed herself and the baby.she already has a high standard of living.we are from middle class family .we live a comfortable life.so to me,1.5m is really nothing.trust me.
besides,she was earning about 150k every month before she resigned her job and lived in a 2 bedroom flat as a single girl.hope you understand now.

My dear since you have saved far more than 1.5m and you are still single. You can provide the needed capital, accommodate your sister in ur house, bring ur money and her 1.5m they set up a business and let your sister manage it, with that she will properly take care of her self and her child as she walk away from her marriage.

Is unforgettable that instead of seeing what u can do no matter how difficult it might seem, u are bent on advising her to divorce, and after divorce you don't have plans to even support her financially.

My advice is with all the plenty money u have as a single lady, u can use it to set up ur sister if u want her to leave her man.
But if you feel u can't cater for her life after marriage leave her and always encourage her to pray for the man, I have seen chronic cheats change so her won't be an exception.

I will rather drink Lead than advise you and your silly sister.

This is just a whining post nothing else.

She has 1.5 million, she is waiting for him to open a shop for her, she refused to do her masters and went to marry a cheat.

If you won't listen to your sensible father in the first place is it us you abi your sister would listen too?


Abeg swerve

chizzy4love:

The worst is if she confronts him now,he will kneel down,beg ,cry as if he means it but at the end he will continue.thats the kind of guy he is.My sister said that was what he did during courtship but she forgave him because she dint have proof.
My sister is older than me.what I intend to do is show her this page later on so that she can read people's responses.
She had better suitor then coming for her then but she settled for the cheat because she believed they've come a long way.Such is life.

Irony of life. Most marriages I know that were built out of sentiment never really did fare well. People should simply just follow reality and leave sentiments aside.

That he supported you back then doesn't make him the right husband for you.

That she was with you through thick and thin doesn't make her the right wife for you.

Its better your heart is broken as a single man or woman than later when both have been joined as man & wife.

chizzy4love:

Dear,you have totally missed the point here.the man said the reason he married my sis was because they started dating when he dint have even one car.family wise we are richer but he has made money for himself now.My sister dated him for 9 years.she dint have proof of his cheating then.So you see,she dint plunge in Headon into problem,she just married the wrong guy.
All these things I see is the reason I am being very careful before saying I do.I don't have strength for wahala.I am single now by choice not that I don't have suitors.

I will advice you to desist from responding to idio.tsss. Many here like to blame the victim than the offender. Imagine them fools asking a nursing mother to go get a job.I can tell you with all facts down on my table THAT MANY HOMES IN NIGERIA NOW ARE BEING HELD TOGETHER BY WIVES especially those with handwork !!!This recession presently just exposed a lot about how docile several male youths have become.


Your sisters husband is a serial cheat,the issue here ain't about your sister's joblessness or not,but as usual idioots from the pit of hades want to blame your sister for being a nursing mother without a job.Foolish comments here just want to make me puke!!

My advice is your sister to separate for now and call a family meeting. From your write up, it's obvious the husband is a careless cheat, he masters in getting every lady pregnant. Sorry to say,he is just a useless person. If I marry such a man(God forbid ),my prayer will be for him to die early enough for me to remarry again since my doctrine don't accept divorce.

Take heart!

LynnPetra:



I will advice you to desist from responding to idio.tsss. Many here like to blame the victim than the offender. Imagine them fools asking a nursing mother to go get a job.I can tell you with all facts down on my table THAT MANY HOMES IN NIGERIA NOW ARE BEING HELD TOGETHER BY WIVES especially those with handwork !!!This recession presently just exposed a lot about how docile several male youths have become.


Your sisters husband is a serial cheat,the issue here ain't about your sister's joblessness or not,but as usual idioots from the pit of hades want to blame your sister for being a nursing mother without a job.Foolish comments here just want to make me puke!!

My advice is your sister to separate for now and call a family meeting. From your write up, it's obvious the husband is a careless cheat, he masters in getting every lady pregnant. Sorry to say,he is just a useless person. If I marry such a man(God forbid ),my prayer will be for him to die early enough for me to remarry again since my doctrine don't accept divorce.

Take heart!

You totally understood my write up.Thanks

As for people asking me to give her some of my money,even if I give her 2m to add to her 1.5, it still won't do because after setting up a business you still need to fund it with your reserve for about 2 to 3 more years before it stands firm.Many people are just commenting without even thinking.

Eketem:
I will rather drink Lead than advise you and your silly sister.

This is just a whining post nothing else.

She has 1.5 million, she is waiting for him to open a shop for her, she refused to do her masters and went to marry a cheat.

If you won't listen to your sensible father in the first place is it us you abi your sister would listen too?


Abeg swerve

I don't blame you.I asked for mature comments not from a juvenile delinquent youth like you Next time it is "listen to not listen too".Thanks for your contribution anyway.

sisisioge:
She should walk out of his life...But not without some cool cash. Let her invent a story to get him to cough out something on her way out. That dude is gonna be the death of her soon...

left for me,I don't even want her to wait anylonger

Fkforyou:
I have a male cousin like that, he is way older than me and married, sometimes I just look at him and wonder what is wrong with him. He is never satisfied, he just have this uncontrollable desire for the opposite sex, sometimes I even wonder if he is cursed because some of the girls he lusts after, even I, won't look at them twice.

Your sister should just dump him, she deserves better. But before she does that, she should stop investing her emotions on him and start seeing him as just a fvcking material when she is bored and her personal ATM machine till she is financially bouyant and then dump his ass out of the blue without giving him a heads up.

Your comment really got me laughing.Thanks all thesame.

musabayokanu:


My dear since you have saved far more than 1.5m and you are still single. You can provide the needed capital, accommodate your sister in ur house, bring ur money and her 1.5m they set up a business and let your sister manage it, with that she will properly take care of her self and her child as she walk away from her marriage.

Is unforgettable that instead of seeing what u can do no matter how difficult it might seem, u are bent on advising her to divorce, and after divorce you don't have plans to even support her financially.

My advice is with all the plenty money u have as a single lady, u can use it to set up ur sister if u want her to leave her man.
But if you feel u can't cater for her life after marriage leave her and always encourage her to pray for the man, I have seen chronic cheats change so her won't be an exception.

Giving out money has never been an issue but sustaining it a big issue.Even if I give her extra 2m and she invests,how will she sustain the biz for the next few years without external income and also sustain her life and the baby..If you know the core values of business,you will understand me.So,please think properly and deeply before you respond.

I keep telling ladies, there is nothing like a chronic cheater will change after marriage, even if your body parts is made of gold or your character second to none. She saw the handwriting early enough to bow out but she didn't.

Well, since l'm not in support of divorce ,I will tell her to get busy, protect herself, look clean and sexy enough to kill ( sexy but decent) when at home or out. Buy a carton of Durex and each time he wants to go out put like 3-5 of it in his wallet. When she chats in his presence, let her make sure she laugh out loud and hard enough to put concerned frown on his fore head, pretend you didn't notice but remain the good woman.

Finally, God can do all things.

From the write up, the man is unaware the wife knows of his escapades, they should talk about it.

chizzy4love:

Giving out money has never been an issue but sustaining it a big issue.Even if I give her extra 2m and she invests,how will she sustain the biz for the next few years without external income and also sustain her life and the baby..If you know the core values of business,you will understand me.So,please think properly and deeply before you respond.

If you think giving a 2.1 graduate, who knows economic and statistics well 2m naira which is not a problem to you to add to her 1.5m making it 3.5m as a start up capital and you feel your sister who is a graduate of economic won't sustain it then hide her 2.1 and her being a graduate part of it.

See at one time or the other we face challenges in life, all we do is take a step 5x5, readjust ourselves and move on.
Being from middle family with all those exposure crap does not hold waters here. When you have small money, you cut your coat according to your size, but when you don't money to buy that coat, which ever one u have u cut it according to the available material.

Middle class and all ur exposure in life keep it aside and forge on. If na self contained she can rent, if na simple cheap one bedroom flat she can also rent. Knowing too well that she wants to pick up her life again.

Spare us some details in all this ur bug girl talk, u call someone earning 150k a month in her previous job a well paid job?? Smh

Bottom line is if you want her quit her husband, be ready to fix and stop all this big girl talk. When you marry you will realise how difficult it is to quit ur matrimonial home......I'm sure you are Igbo and u know is a big Haram in Igbo land according to my igbo friends