Hi Naira Land!

So I need to guys to help me out here. I'm confused about my relationship, so maybe you guys can help see clearly?

I met my fiancé at a wedding in Nigeria. He was the best man I was the maid of honor. We are both igbo but I am American born & raised.

After we met, we exchanged numbers. And he chatted me as I flew back to the States up until today 10 months later. We have talked everyday, 3x a day.

Two weeks after the wedding he started saying he loves me. And I was abit thrown off by it. Soon within the first month he mentioned marriage. This threw me off, but enticed me as I want to marry being in my 30s.

In one of our earliest convos, he mentioned buying us a house since Im now his responsibility but he will leave it for me and come to visit. Since hes not sure he likes yankee. This unfuriated me & I ignored him for 2 days. What kind of marriage would that be? He said he was just joking n I forgave him.

So fast forward 7 months later... he has stated his intention to marry me to my uncle after coming to see me in Lagos on a visit I made.

We did the engagement ceremony in my uncle house. I met his whole family: Mom, Sister, Brother, his Boss... everyone knows about me. And chats me everyday. My picture has been on his dp the whole 9 months. He sent texts showing me off... and posted my pics on fb. He contacted my uncle to do the introduction and spoke to my Dad & Mom. He calls me his soulmate... and says he will have a broken heart if I leave him.

So here are the problems: He lied about his age. Told me he is 32 (I am 32) but I found out thru his ex he is 29. I confronted him and took 5 months and silly made up stories before he came clean that he is indeed 29. I even called his Mom to verify. He told me his Mom was lying! But today he confesses he is 29.

Next issue: when I went to Lagos to see him, I searched his phone. Wrong I know! But I saw three texts that confused me: one was him asking his friend to save his ex gf pics of him and her and one of her awards. Two was him asking his friend to send him money to complete d mission in lagos as he is making road for men. The third was him flirting with one girl.

Next issue: he keeps mentioning marriage but doesnt ask where we will live, wat he will do for living here.. or any real plans. Im the one making all d plans.

The last issue: we got into an argument about some of the texts I saw on my lagos visit. One of his friends called him to ask him why we are fighting. He told him a very different story! That we are fighting because I want him to live in America, but he cant live there since he has his job in ph. Mind you all he does is work as errand boy and does construction gigs. He told his friend that he wants to just be visiting me instead.

I was so confused because all we talked about was getting ready to file for him, choosing a place for us to live, and looking into job sectors and schools for him!

So I called him to pretend thats what I want. And he agreed! Saying that I can live in America and him in Nigeria for awhile and I can have babies later like 40 he said.

I'm just confused! Why does something feel off? Everyone knows me and was ready to marry traditional there according to igbo culture. His friends say he only talks about me! All d time!

Dnt let him make u his Nigerian wife while he cools off upstairs.The signs are good alerts 4 u 2 thnk wel nw.

It's like the guy na hustler too o. He wanna acquire green card and come back for the other babe.

Be careful with guys like that. I will advise you to steer clear because all I see is a smart guy playing all the smart cards. That thing in your second to last paragraph is a major card in the game used to make it virtually impossible for you to detect the plan.

Don't marry this guy except you really love him and you are ready to face the likely consequences, which includes getting to hear stories that touch.

Daree88:
Dnt let him make u his Nigerian wife while he cools off upstairs.The signs are good alerts 4 u 2 thnk wel nw.

Sorry... I dont know what do u mean? I live in the states. He lives in ph. Thank u....

Blessed11:


Sorry... I dont know what do u mean? I live in the states. He lives in ph. Thank u....

From look of things, he is an opportunist, he wants to take undue advantage of ur affluence to better his life.When he gains ground, he wil like yankee!

ikp120:
It's like the guy na hustler too o. He wanna acquire green card and come back for the other babe.

Be careful with guys like that. I will advise you to steer clear because all I see is a smart guy playing all the smart cards. That thing in your second to last paragraph is a major card in the game used to make it virtually impossible for you to detect the plan.

Don't marry this guy except you really love him and you are ready to face the likely consequences, which includes getting to hear stories that touch.

What thing did I say is a major card??

This one pass me mbog...let's wait for the elders...

refiner:
This one pass me mbog...let's wait for the elders...

Wat do u think please!

ikp120:
It's like the guy na hustler too o. He wanna acquire green card and come back for the other babe.

Be careful with guys like that. I will advise you to steer clear because all I see is a smart guy playing all the smart cards. That thing in your second to last paragraph is a major card in the game used to make it virtually impossible for you to detect the plan.

Don't marry this guy except you really love him and you are ready to face the likely consequences, which includes getting to hear stories that touch.

Why do u think there is another babe

Blessed11:


Why do u think there is another babe

The part where he asked his friend to save his ex's pics and whatever for him. That's a bridge that he has in place.

Also, the part where he was flirting with another babe.

ikp120:


The part where he asked his friend to save his ex's pics and whatever for him. That's a bridge that he has in place.

Also, the part where he was flirting with another babe.

But they said they arent together. And his break up story matches hers. Altho I saw her text him while I was in Lagos. He said she was only congratulating him for his bro wedding. Also in his phone I saw him sending his friends my pictures calling me his soulmate! Im sooooo confused!!!

Blessed11:


But they said they arent together. And his break up story matches hers. Altho I saw her text him while I was in Lagos. He said she was only congratulating him for his bro wedding. Also in his phone I saw him sending his friends my pictures calling me his soulmate! Im sooooo confused!!!

Even me will be superlatively confused if I dey your shoes. .

You think a guy will tell you that he has another babe? He could have convinced her that when he settles down abroad, he'll come back for her.

But wetin concern me sef? Abi you wanna send me some dollars? .

***Singing***
If you give me I go take o.

That guy is still very much with his babe,there is a conspiracy somewhere that's why their stores are the same. I know a lady who poses as a sister to her husband's white wife so the white wife can be sending her gifts, she of course was acting on her husband's instruction.
I'd be blunt, forget this guy!

Are u a baby? Dont u know when is time.to run, u believe is ex story abi? Na u sabi.

Artistree:
That guy is still very much with his babe,there is a conspiracy somewhere that's why their stores are the same. I know a lady who poses as a sister to her husband's white wife so the white wife can be sending her gifts, she of course was acting on her husband's instruction.
I'd be blunt, forget this guy!

Hmmmmm. Shes the one that alerted me to his age saying why am I marrying my junior. Shes the one said I should be careful of him that he isnt using me for money because thats why she broke up with him. So she doesnt sound like a conspirator who wants me to secretly marry him.

Thanks to everyone for their commentary on my fiancé who is lives in ph and me who lives in US.

Here is my analysis and decisions after thinking and PRAYING.

My fiancé was motivated into a relationship with me due to my "position". He knew I was from states before he became in love.

His love is not all that genuine because he said he loved me after a meeting that was all that romaantic.

My fiancé wants the benefits of marrying me although he is not ready. Financially in particular.

It is clear he is not all that trustworthy although we all lie sometimes in relationships he hasnt proven himself. I would have passed on this but...

His wanting to stay away after marriage shows he has a decietful plan. That is the #1 nail in the coffin. No man who wants a genuine marriage according to biblical or cultural standards would ever suggest to stay back in Nigeria or away from his wife... particularly when u dont have a well earning job!

It is clear he is hiding something. And since he is not straight forward I wont know what it is. One friend told me he showed him a pic of a baby a year ago and said he was going to marry the mother? But everyone is saying he has no child. He later askes the friend why he told me all that. I recall him knowing about pregnancy very well despite he has no sisters.

I agree with the commenter who said he is immature: suggesting pipedreams and wanting to get married with no real income.

With no plans for me, no straightforward character, sketchy comments and actions its clear marriage is not an option.

He told me he prayed several times to know if I am his wife... said he knew I was his because of my age since all his friends are older... said he was in church one day and realized I am his soulmate.... He said he prayed and fasted for my temper... with this I wonder if he loved me at all.

But I have decided that even if he did, it was based on the wrong thing.

I told him him I wanted to end the engagement after so many fights and a temperamental relationship of ten months. And trying to end it. And two days later he has now sent a text to my families telling dem he wants to end it as well, as he is tired of trying to convince me!

Thanks to all!

Honestly i didn't read this.... But he shouldn't have slapped the conductor

sleeknick:
Honestly i didn't read this.... But he shouldn't have slapped the conductor

What??

Blessed11:


What??

Yes he was wrong... He has no right to slap the conductor no matter what. Its just #50

sleeknick:


Yes he was wrong... He has no right to slap the conductor no matter what. Its just #50

I agree!!! Thank you dear.

8

Blessed11:


I agree!!! Thank you dear.

sleeknick:
8

Thanks!!