We started dating back in the University. The relationship grew from strength to strength. It’s been 4yrs now. On the 4th yr of d relatnshp she said she didn’t think she could marry me. She said she wasn’t feeling the relationship anymore. She’s been saying this for a while (from the last 8months).I initially believed she had seen someone else. I honestly don’t/didn’t know what to think. I believed/believe she never cheated on me but how the hell would she want out just from no where? Yeah yeah, we had issues like I beat her up twice (very sorry pls).That happened a long time ago. Never repeated itself.

Inside of me I wasn’t sure anyway about marrying her cos she has a strong heart somtyms (scared she finds it a bit hard to let go of thgs), she is my mate(she’s older by some months) and she’s got a fat gene though isn’t so big at d moment. The mum is big!!! she took after her mum. Im this kinda person that looks @d future of a girl b4 heading for her. I look at u n imagine how u wld look in 30-40yrs tym, if I dnt like d look, shape, etc, I burst it. You can do this in many ways-mentally shrinking up her face n entire body skin (depends on wat part u can see), tightening up the skin on her forehead, checking how she walks n how she bends up till her very smile n teeth size, etc. Could explain that better with a pic. or real case.

She broke up formally with me some two months back. I was able to take it cos I had blessings come my way around the same period. I mean it. The problem right now is I feel really terrible when I see pics we took 2geda  or when she calls(rarely).My heart pounded very heavily when she mistakenly sent me a call me back sms (MTN) somtym back.It really was a mistake as I discovered when I called. I console myself somtyms by the fact that I have a very great future. Inside of me I know I wldnt want to marry her but I don’t know why it hurts me so badly somtyms. Mayb cos I got fond of her, mayb cos I got used to making love to her. Whenever I want2call her to get back,I think of the fact that I cant marry her n I hold my peace.by the way I am slightly over my mid-twenties. How girls find it easy to throw away emotional investment just like that, is what I don’t understand. I don’t know anymore. Someone (mature n sincere) pls tell me what to do.Pls console me. Pls advice me. Just talk to me cos Im hurting…

Girls how can I manage this.What can I do to forget her-it’s hard to find a girl as clean as her? I cant stand a girl who’s not clean or even average.

Guys how do u manage such?
Pls only reasonable and rationally sensible responses pls.
Problem is I dont want her for a wife and yet cant do without her at the moment.Thought of her with slimy stuff gets me irritated.

I need your voice here

Kpele. . .

may she fell out of love, may be u guys were not meant for each other.

just take heart.

cuteromntc:


Girls how can I manage this.What can I do to forget her-it’s hard to find a girl as clean as her? I cant stand a girl who’s not clean or even average.

but what do mean by that?

cuteromntc:



Inside of me I wasn’t sure anyway about marrying her cos she has a strong heart somtyms (scared she finds it a bit hard to let go of thgs), she is my mate(she’s older by some months) and she’s got a fat gene though isn’t so big at d moment. The mum is big!!! she took after her mum. Im this kinda person that looks @d future of a girl b4 heading for her. I look at u n imagine how u wld look in 30-40yrs tym, if I dnt like d look, shape, etc, I burst it. You can do this in many ways-mentally shrinking up her face n entire body skin (depends on wat part u can see), tightening up the skin on her forehead, checking how she walks n how she bends up till her very smile n teeth size, etc. Could explain that better with a pic. or real case.

I do that Too. . .

cuteromntc:


Whenever I want2call her to get back,I think of the fact that I cant marry her n I hold my peace.

pinky lady:

may be u guys were not meant for each other.

Thinking like this will help you

cuteromntc:


Inside of me I wasn’t sure anyway about marrying her cos she has a strong heart somtyms (scared she finds it a bit hard to let go of thgs),

cuteromntc:

She broke up formally with me some two months back. I was able to take it cos I had blessings come my way around the same period. I mean it.

Let bye-gones be bye-gone.

pinky lady:

may she fell out of love, may be u guys were not meant for each other.

just take heart.

She said she fell outa love.I fell out too after I hurt her and she didnt forgive/forget n rather told me unthinkable stuff.Even wished me dead.I dint cheat o.just the two tyms we had a fight

but what do mean by that?

A clean girl is a girl who can take care of herself from without to within. A girl that knows how to keep her clothes clean n not over look breakages in her fabric. A girl who’s got the taste/ability to smell fresh always, with or without body spray. A girl that washes up each tym she wees unless she’s outa her comfort zone. A girl that knows how to keep her ass clean. A girl I can kiss even without being in love n I wldnt feel like throwing up.No coloured lines in underwear. I cant say all, but when I see her, I wld know if she’s clean. I just knw inside me.She wasn’t perfect though. I dont cheat, that’s why I try to get the person who’s best 4me especially in terms of hygiene

coolier:

Let bye-gones be bye-gone.

it's not that easy u knw.I wish I had som1 I cld lean on.My guys all see my attitude as bitchy cos some of them believe I shld have been two-timing all the while, I dont make friends,I dont have any I can tell anythg.really bad.A lot of thgs I alone know abt me.a whole lot.she was my only friend.I feel it now,

Macgreat:

I do that Too. . .

we seem similar here
Thinking like this will help you

Thank u man.I realized we were meant2b wen she cldnt let go of my wrongs.All thesame thanks.I really need a hand.

pinky lady:

may she fell out of love, may be u guys were not meant for each other.

just take heart.


but what do mean by that?

She said she fell outa love.I fell out too after I hurt her and she didnt forgive/forget n rather told me unthinkable stuff.Even wished me dead.I dint cheat o.just the two tyms we had a fight


A clean girl is a girl who can take care of herself from without to within. A girl that knows how to keep her clothes clean n not over look breakages in her fabric. A girl who’s got the taste/ability to smell fresh always, with or without body spray. A girl that washes up each tym she wees unless she’s outa her comfort zone. A girl that knows how to keep her ass clean. A girl I can kiss even without being in love n I wldnt feel like throwing up.No coloured lines in underwear. I cant say all, but when I see her, I wld know if she’s clean. I just knw inside me.She wasn’t perfect though. I dont cheat, that’s why I try to get the person who’s best 4me especially in terms of hygiene

coolier:

Let bye-gones be bye-gone.

it's not that easy u knw.I wish I had som1 I cld lean on.My guys all see my attitude as bitchy cos some of them believe I shld have been two-timing all the while, I dont make friends,I dont have any I can tell anythg.really bad.A lot of thgs I alone know abt me.a whole lot.she was my only friend.I feel it now,

Macgreat:

I do that Too. . .


Thinking like this will help you

Thank u man.I realized we were meant2b wen she cldnt let go of my wrongs.All thesame thanks.I really need a hand.

mmmmmm, move on

Deal with it man. . .break ups always hurt. . .

victorazy:

mmmmmm, move on

I will try.
thanks

netotse:

Deal with it man. . .break ups always hurt. . .

I honestly dont know what's hurting me because if she comes back now,I would feel good but not satisfied cause I cant marry her. I definitely know Im hurting.

bro,it happens all them time.i am telling you this from experience.maybe you guys were on the same level.most times,it doesnt work out.go out there and look for another girl that would appreciate you and let her be,
no point trying to convince her to take you back,

HEYO MAN! I FEEL FOR YOU!
LET HER GO!
CHOOSING LIFE PARTNERS IS NOT SUMTHING ANYONE WANTS TO TAKE LIGHTLY INCLUDING YOUR GIRLFRIEND. SHE OBVIOUSLY DIDNT FALL OUT OF LOVE FOR YOU, SHE JUST KNOWS YOU TWO CANT BE.

THERE COMES A PHASE IN LIFE WHEN ONE WANTS TO NEGLECT EVERY UNSERIOUSNESS AND FOCUS ON ONE'S FUTURE. ONE WOULD AT THIS STAGE CAREFULLY CHOOSE RELATIONSHIPS ONE BELIEVES CAN LEAD TO MARRIAGE.
YOUR GF HAS REACHED THIS PHASE IN HER LIFE AND WANTS TO MOVE ON.
MOST WOMEN ARE SCARED OF GUYS THAT BEAT THEM UP THEY REALLY DONT WANT TO BE WITH THEM LET ALONE HAVING THEM AS PARTNERS FOR LIFE. SHE MIGHT HAVE FORGIVEN YOU ABOUT THIS BUT FORETTING SUCH A UGLY ACT IS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT.
SHE KNEW SHE WAS GOIN TO WANT OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP LONG TIME. SHE MUST HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW BEST TO DO THIS. WHICH WAS WHY SHE WAS TELLING YOU GRADUALLY.

She’s been saying this for a while (from the last 8months).

MY ADVICE
BE A MAN AND MOVE ON. YOU HAVE CLEARLY STATED IN YOUR POST THAT U CANT HAVE HER AS A WIFE. WHY THEN DO YOU WANT TO WASTE BOTH YOUR TIME. BEING A LADY SHE DOSNT HAVE THE WEALTH OF TIME U GOT.JUST LET HER BE AND DONT WASTE HER TIME.

TRY NOT TO TALK TO HER(INFACT DONT CALL HER OR RECEIVE HER CALLS ANYMORE). ITS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO THINK ABOUT HER.EVEN IF IT WASNT LOVE. HAVING TO BREAK A FRIENDSHIP THAT LONG IS NOT GON TO BE EASY. IT TAKES TIME. IT OFTENLY TAKES ABOUT 6MONTHS TO RECOVER FROM A WHATEVER LOSS EVEN DEATH, BUT YOURS CAN TAKE LONGER SINCE U CLAIM NOT TO HAVE MANY FRIENDS EVERYTHING FADES WITH TIME SHA.


MAKE AS MUCH FRIENDS AS POSSIBLE(INCLUDIN FEMALES). FORGET THE CLEANINESS THING INITIALLY, JUST GO ABOUT MAKING AS MANY FRIENDS AS U CAN. AND DONT MAKE FRIENDS WITH A BACKGROUND THOUGHT THAT U ARE REPLACING UR GF. MAKE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ONLY. DONT BE IN A RUSH TO FIND A REPLACEMENT FOR HER. THE FIRST STEP IS TO GET OVER HER AND THIS WILL HELP A GREAT DEAL.



FORGET ALL THESE GOOD ATTRIBUTES(CLEANINESS, ETC)
THERE ARE OTHER GIRLS OUT THERE WITH SOME ATTRIBUTES UR EX MIGHT ONLY WISH FOR. INFACT MANY, HOW BOUT THESE,
BEAUTY, OR IS SHE D MOST BEAUTIFUL IN THE WORLD TOO? SMARTNESS, INTELLIGENCE, GRACE , CARE , ETC


WOULD BE RIGHT BACK,

Superficial much? Im sure you are definitely not Denzel or Will Smith.

U can start by deleting her no/changing ur line so she can't reach u.time sorts d rest out.

Well you spoke well, next time never make love to a girl so you wont get too attached to her, anyway the better truth is that she dont love you anymore, so the only thing you can do if you truly love her is that you pray the guy she dumps you for breaks her heart and that she never finds a guy like you, though it may take time.

Turns

I read through your post and basically all I can get is this " You are with a girl that you have no intentions of marrying, you have free sex with her and like her cos she is clean. She dumps you and then you scream help. What seems to be the problem here? Being dumped? You wanted to be the one to do the dumping

Godmother:

I read through your post and basically all I can get is this " You are with a girl that you have no intentions of marrying, you have free sex with her and like her cos she is clean. She dumps you and then you scream help. What seems to be the problem here? Being dumped? You wanted to be the one to do the dumping

you said it all sister!!

How old is this guy ? I have a clean girl for you. Let me know what ur stats on a woman are !

guys too do the same to ladies,so pls enjoy ur hurt.

amyg:

U can start by deleting her no/changing your line so she can't reach u.time sorts d rest out.

Good one.Thanks.I cant change my line cos of one girl.I have business associates,organisations,etc who's only means to reach me is through my number.Even at that I dont see the point.Deleting all her pics from my laptop will do.I actually put all in one folder and locked it up somewhere(some months b4 we broke up) so I dont get to see it often.That helped in accepting the break-up in good faith.Thanks so much.You actually think with your head.

redfly:

guy its like we're goin tru the very similar situations at the moment. mine is gettin married 2 some1 else and i keep askin myself where i'll ever get some1 as wonderful as her.the pain is really 2 much to bear i know bt try 2 occupy yourself wit other things. its very hard i know bt u shld jst try and move on. personally i keep tellin myself that i'll get some1 even better though in my heart i dont think it'll be easy

You will get som1 better.I will too.You are fond of her,used to her and so close to her ,that's the problem.For me, it's the fondness,closeness and the fact that I aint got friends that's the prob.

Godmother:

I read through your post and basically all I can get is this " You are with a girl that you have no intentions of marrying, you have free sex with her and like her cos she is clean. She dumps you and then you scream help. What seems to be the problem here? Being dumped? You wanted to be the one to do the dumping

You dont seem to get it.I dont dump girls.Never!Except in EXTREME situations.It's the fact that I am used to her,fond of her,spent 4yrs with her,DID A WHOLE LOT4HER,etc and have no friends that's the problem.No deep marriage intentions but I care abt her anyway.I also cld have married her if things took a different course.

DontsayNO:

How old is this guy ? I have a clean girl for you. Let me know what your stats on a woman are !

My age is in the story(a range).It's not like she is the cleanest but I cant date a  girl whose rating on cleanliness is 5 or so on a scale of 10.I cant!I like a girl whose isnt short n not dirty looking(I dont mean hygiene here).Speaks ok n thinks right.Not dumb.A girl who understands romance n can take enuf of it.She should be soft,tender and nice.I mean just an ok girl who is informed and enlightened.Someone with whom I can communicate on same level with.I can teach though if there's need to.A girl who's not mad.

echo- bee:

guys too do the same to ladies,so pls enjoy your hurt.

Thanks.You dont get it I aint hurting particularly cos of the break-up.There are many factors in this.I did the world for her.It's like a loss in investment.I want to believe I did it for God.Thank u for wishing me enjoyment anyway.

kpele, Ndo
take heart

before u go in2 any relationship u must prepare ur mind 4 d worst,so dat wen d worst eventually cums u"ll ave mind 2 handle it, it very easy 2 4get abt her,first excommicate her cos dat d basic tin in any relationship,i mean 4get evrytin abt her,dicard anytin dat reminds u of her,delate her no or beta still change ur phn no.if u do dis 4 a month,my dear u"ll move ahead,

@ poster
you have said a mouthful. You beat her you call her fat and im sure thats not the extent of what you did to her before she realised you were the wrong person for her. You should learn from this situation instead of mentioning all the negatives to make your self feel better. Take an inventory and dont go back to her or try because if she takes you back it would only take 2 months tops before you realise you made a mistake.

foyeks2001:

kpele, Ndo
take heart

Thanks you so much.What some other people dont understand is that they think because you have posted your issues here means they have more wisdom than you do.Thanks dear.

ONI TEMI:

before u go in2 any relationship u must prepare your mind 4 d worst,so dat wen d worst eventually cums u"ll ave mind 2 handle it, it very easy 2 4get abt her,first excommicate her cos dat d basic tin in any relationship,i mean 4get evrytin abt her,dicard anytin dat reminds u of her,delate her no or beta still change your phn no.if u do dis 4 a month,my dear u"ll move ahead, 

Hw old are you?U sound very young-less than 25.If you go into a relationship expecting the worst, you would most likely not feel/enjoy your tym there.You may just not fall in love.Love is sweet smallie.My advise for you is go into a relationship with your head and your heart.Feel the hurt n learn your mistakes.Talk to your elder ones and learn.Later

Ms Diva:

This is so sweet.Thanks dear.I feel better.Thanks.I wish I could get more or talk to you.

Treetop20:

do you think you really would have stopped beating her?
You did it twice!!! That says a lot about how much you care for her
go out there and make friends. You are just hurting from your lack
of social skills.

I never would lift my hand on a woman.Never!!!So help me God.No matter what a woman does,dont lift a hand.Yea I messed up there.If I say what she did Im sure over 78%
of Nairaland guyz will hit.Mr social Man ask questions first.Im sure you dont have better social skills.I make friends but dont draw people too close.Trust is hard.I have my experiences.I have come here to seek opinions and get reasonable people tell me the truth.If you are wise you would know that two heads are better than one.Though not your type of head.
learn to ask questions.lata

omega25red:

@ poster
you have said a mouthful. You beat her you call her fat and im sure thats not the extent of what you did to her before she realised you were the wrong person for her. You should learn from this situation instead of mentioning all the negatives to make your self feel better. Take an inventory and dont go back to her or try because if she takes you back it would only take 2 months tops before you realise you made a mistake.

In my opinion I think she left because I wanted her to leave in the sense that I wasnt sure I wanted her for a wife.You seem to know us so well for you to say I did more than what I said.Clap for yourself.I said the worst that happened,there were smaller/insignificant issues we had though.I didnt say fat because I wanted to feel better.That was dumb of you to have said.I know going back isnt the best choice.Read my posts before replying.Thanks

Hurting from what dude
Hope you've scheduled an appointment with your doctor

As much as you r hurting, my sympathies lie with the lady and I think you deserve the hurt. No one is forced to be in a relationship with anyone. You should hv left the relationship as soon as u realised you couldn't marry her or she offended you to the point of hitting her! Didn't your mama teach you that you[b] NEVER [/b] hit a woman? Let this breakup and hurt be the lesson you need to help you with your future relationships. Treat a woman with respect and love and she would reciprocate it. If she doesn't, LEAVE. Its not by force.

To help with how u r feeling at the moment, keep busy, focus on other aspects of your life. Time heals all wounds.

deniyor:

As much as you r hurting, my sympathies lie with the lady and I think you deserve the hurt. No one is forced to be in a relationship with anyone. You should hv left the relationship as soon as u realised you couldn't marry her or she offended you to the point of hitting her! Didn't your mama teach you that you[b] NEVER [/b] hit a woman? Let this breakup and hurt be the lesson you need to help you with your future relationships. Treat a woman with respect and love and she would reciprocate it. If she doesn't, LEAVE. Its not by force.

To help with how u r feeling at the moment, keep busy, focus on other aspects of your life. Time heals all wounds.

Thanks but read my posts properly before dropping anything.

In my opinion I think she left because I wanted her to leave in the sense that I wasnt sure I wanted her for a wife.You seem to know us so well for you to say I did more than what I said.Clap for yourself.I said the worst that happened,there were smaller/insignificant issues we had though.I didnt say fat because I wanted to feel better.That was dumb of you to have said.I know going back isnt the best choice.Read my posts before replying.Thanks
[quote][/quote]

Dude you need to read what you wrote and accepts the different opinions on here without lashing out. I did you a favor by responding to start with and now you are taking your misogynistic insignificant post to a different level. Read what you wrote before you reply to comments. Thanks lol