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How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad - Travel - Nairaland

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How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by Gorrjigen(m): 11:22am On Jan 19, 2007
If you live in abroad, may be in Europe, The Americas  or anywhere,  and you desperately need a wife from home, pls follow these rules.

1. Do not let any lady you are interested in, know you live abroad in the first place, if she must know, tell her you are in Ghana or uganda etc

2. Do not select lady who is well versed in the use of the internet, these are ladies who are advertising themselves nakedly on different websites to dupe unsuspecting men, they will jump on you and dump you as soon as they relocate with you.

3.Do not allow your relative or family member, may be brothers or sisters to help you find a lady, they will always choose someone they can use to get you.

4. Do not allow your friends who live abroad with you to suggest someone living in Nigeria to you, it may be a ploy to bring his girlfriend over especially if he is not documented.

5. Avoid ladies who are University graduates if you can, they will pretend until they relocate with you, then got awares of the female friendly laws in Europe/USA and dump you as soon as possible. Many of them will end up quarelling with you and becoming very argumentative and arrogant.

6. Avoid sending money to your fiance or the lady you intend to marry, as you will soon become a money-miss-road, ''a laughing stock''

7. Avoid any lady that attends flashy  pentecostal churches, this may only be for pretence.

8. Insist on all medical tests before any wedding at all.

9. Please, forget about beauty, insist on a very sober lady with good characters, i.e. avoid sentiments

10. Avoid any lady that tells you she can manage a bottle of beer etc, you may be courting a prostitute.

11. Please, do not search for a Nigerian wife on dating website, you may not live to regret it.

12. If you finally visit Nigeria to see the lady you choose , please do not jump on the bed with her, try to avoid sex with her, she may coat herself with ''Jazz'', to tie you up.

13. As you are avoiding sex, please make sure you check all the body parts, like the breasts, the tommy area, or you may even ''finger'' the private part to ''carbon date'' her experience and dating age.

14. If you can avoid a slim lady with very bursty chest,  it will be better, because European men have great taste for these qualities or else you may end up finding your neighbour on top of your wife, or having a mullato/halfcast child.

A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. , This piece was compiled based on my personal experience after living in Europe for  13 yrs, take care.
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by naijacutee(f): 11:26am On Jan 19, 2007
Hilarious, but interesting. (I disagree wit some points though, but I'll just let that pass.)
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by djl(m): 11:29am On Jan 19, 2007
hmm gorjigen, i fear u oooooo. notwithstanding sha, d post is very nice
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by casper(m): 3:11pm On Jan 19, 2007
ommo i feel this yarns men , they are all true talk. it is all good, we are on the forum to learn.

thanks for the advice, i am loving it
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by niceuzor: 3:14pm On Jan 19, 2007
interesting,hand aplause 4 u.
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by my2cents(m): 3:51pm On Jan 19, 2007
Now that we are done demeaning our beautiful and lovely women, how about a post on " How Not To Get A Husband In Nigeria If You Live Abroad" wink

Come on guys, we shouldn't stoop so low. The problem exists on both sides.

Let the post(s) begin grin
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by Michele: 4:04pm On Jan 19, 2007
Totally diagree with every single point
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by stephanie7(f): 4:11pm On Jan 19, 2007
so do i - i drink and smoke occasionaly and i am not a prositute!!!!
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by kton(m): 4:19pm On Jan 19, 2007
good!
your suugestions are based on your personal xperience as said but some cases can prove you wrong.
but how on earth do you think this can be possible haven't encouraged to avoid sex.

QUOTE
"As you are avoiding sex, please make sure you check all the body parts, like the breasts, the tommy area, or you may even ''finger'' the private part to ''carbon date'' her experience and dating age"

can any sensible lady allow this act?
Clear me out pls
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by stellose(f): 4:20pm On Jan 19, 2007
NA LIE
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by 1forall: 4:42pm On Jan 19, 2007
All that from personal experience? sorry dude. But with all these guidelines, the purpose of the marriage is overthrown from the onset. If I may advice, take any one of the ff steps:

1. Rekindle an old flame

2. Translocate (13 years don reach sef)

3. Marry an 'oyinbo'

4. Stay single

Abi whats the status quo?
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by Rubbermaid(f): 5:00pm On Jan 19, 2007
Is this guy for real?! My comments are summarized as:

my2cents:

Now that we are done demeaning our beautiful and lovely women, how about a post on " How Not To Get A Husband In Nigeria If You Live Abroad" wink

Come on guys, we shouldn't stoop so low. The problem exists on both sides. Let the post(s) begin grin

Additionally, in a current post on whether or not to do business with Nigerians, everyone pounds their chest on how we must trust each other as Nigerians - yet, to marry a Nigerian woman in Nigeria (arguably the epitome of a Nigerian woman), you are quick to hurl insults!!

Net, from numerous posts on this forum, I can only assume that Nigerian women are acceptably regarded lower than business, money and everything else we care about as Nigerians.

You said it not me. Check yourselves! undecided
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by byrocind(f): 5:04pm On Jan 19, 2007
Am fond of logging on2 this site even long b4 i finally registered.I only go thru d posts and log off.Never have i ever posted or replied any subject but abeg,i just needed 2 reply this one.
I drink,does that make me a prostitute??Attend a pentecostal church(dunno what u mean about "flashy",does that also make me a pretenderI also go clubbing once in a while,what does that make me abeg cuz i didnt read anything
about dancing on ur post(guess u 4got)
And talking about dating someone with who's "abroad",wouldnt advise even my worse enemy cuz of wat have been thru.
Believe it or not,i didnt have sex with any guy 4 almost 2yrs,not even a kiss.Never asked him 4 money sef,its on d record.Only time i ever did that(which i might add was cuz i really needed it)was some mths back,and of which he gladly sent 2 me.Got 2 a point friends got angry with me cuz they felt i wasnt giving other guys a chance.Mind u,i no wowo oo.Neither was i desperate,just that i really send that guy,if u know what i mean, Last yr alone,proposals i got was nothing less than 10,with 6 of them based "abroad",so if "abroad" was d reason 4 my liking this particular guy,i 4 don select one of d 6 abi.Didnt date any of d 6 either,just saw me and guess they liked what they saw.
When u talk about one who's very open,na me.If i have 2 travel,go clubbing or whatver,i let him know.Am not saying am
a saint,but abeg,if dem do competition 4 gals in naija that could b very true 2 a guy,i shuld rate amongst first 5!
Mum was even getting afraid,of me being disappointed in d end.
Wo abeg,2 cut d long story short,where e dey nowAbeg lef mata 4 matias.
Funny enuf,am not bitter,mayb its cuz,naturally,i am a happy person.As long as God still dey my side,y shuld i b bitter
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by angelchi(f): 5:28pm On Jan 19, 2007
u one i dnt agree with the fact that u ve to lie to a girl b4 she can truly love u, be urself.
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by Nobody: 5:39pm On Jan 19, 2007
I strongly disagree with the posters point of view on the following, and this is not a personal attack on the poster.

firstly i must marry a university graduate. Someone who has been through the system and can reason at my level.
The belief that educated women are a threat and arent submissive is an outdated one, and must be eradicated in order for us to
move foward.

Secondly, i dont believe that any girl thats on a website or is versed in the use of the internet, e.g hi5 is "Advertising" herself. This is the 21st century for cryin out loud. I must marry a woman who is computer savvy at the least. Imajin your wife not being able to read her emails!!

My mother drinks occasionally, i.e during new years celebration, so shes a prostitute abi?

Its really amazing hw we Nigerians can devalue our women. You study/live abroad for a long time, and instead of being elightnened, you
still have that mentality of wanting a woman as a dummy, that you can order round like a robot. so you come back home and search for a mumu.

And experiences of others has shown that marryin a mumu can result in disaster, why?

1. because she might feel inferior and want to drag you down to her level, you guessed it, JAZZ

2. She mightnt take the best decisions for herself and your children.

Abeg give me an educated woman everyday. Not all our women are bad. Besides, saints are boring grin

Am out.

3 Likes

Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by JustGood(m): 5:41pm On Jan 19, 2007
once you reach naija dem don sabi say you just land from abroad and you be easy target for those babes.

Most of your points dey very true sha
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by JustGood(m): 5:44pm On Jan 19, 2007
make una no kill th guy joooo
una no like truth at all
when all those university girls just dey sell dem body like chicken nko?
how person go want marry ogogoro mistress?
why she no get man b4 london guy arrive?
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by mobzy205(f): 6:09pm On Jan 19, 2007
this thread is just too funny for me to say anything. anyway all you said is untrue , the only thing i will say is that dont marry a girl u dont know period. i hate prepared marriages
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by Pomoh: 6:32pm On Jan 19, 2007
Cool bro
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by zebudaya(m): 7:44pm On Jan 19, 2007
I love these ones


4. Do not allow your friends who live abroad with you to suggest someone living in Nigeria to you, it may be a ploy to bring his girlfriend over especially if he is not documented. I would leave both of them paranoid if not paralyzed

5. Avoid ladies who are University graduates if you can, they will pretend until they relocate with you, then got awares of the female friendly laws in Europe/USA and dump you as soon as possible. Many of them will end up quarelling with you and becoming very argumentative and arrogant. * I have to marry an educated woman no two ways about that

6. Avoid sending money to your fiance or the lady you intend to marry, as you will soon become a money-miss-road, ''a laughing stock'' even if she needs it?

7. Avoid any lady that attends flashy pentecostal churches, this may only be for pretence. possibly

8. Insist on all medical tests before any wedding at all.

9. Please, forget about beauty, insist on a very sober lady with good characters, i.e. avoid sentiments you are on your own ooooo, I love beauty and good character

10. Avoid any lady that tells you she can manage a bottle of beer etc, you may be courting a prostitute. na men i like girls who drink

11. Please, do not search for a Nigerian wife on dating website, you may not live to regret it. I wouldn't do it

12. If you finally visit Nigeria to see the lady you choose , please do not jump on the bed with her, try to avoid sex with her, she may coat herself with ''Jazz'', to tie you up. Oh boy which kind jazz, i would hit it the first opportunity i get

13. As you are avoiding sex, please make sure you check all the body parts, like the breasts, the tommy area, or you may even ''finger'' the private part to ''carbon date'' her experience and dating age. How can you avoid sex and yet "check the breasts, tummy and finger the chick"? u de loose me

14. If you can avoid a slim lady with very bursty chest, it will be better, because European men have great taste for these qualities or else you may end up finding your neighbour on top of your wife, or having a mullato/halfcast child.

if you find your neighbour on top of your wife its because of point no 13, you said avoid having sex, oh well somebody else is ready to do your job ever heard of outsourcing?



A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. , This piece was compiled based on my personal experience after living in Europe for 13 years, take care.
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by naijacutee(f): 7:45pm On Jan 19, 2007
To sum it all up, the poster means if you want to date a Nigerian woman in Nigeria, your best bet would be to go to the village and find some naive pagan girl who doesn't know how to say her name in English, thinks you're a demi-god because you have come from 'abroad' [Ghana], and therefore would give you open access (as you are doing her a favour.)
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by 4Play(m): 7:49pm On Jan 19, 2007
Hey guys,why we don't we just marry the Nigerian girls living in the West in the first place

But if u want to marry a Naija girl living in Nigeria,remember what Kanye West said "we want pre-nup"

Get a cast iron pre-nup
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by zebudaya(m): 7:53pm On Jan 19, 2007
naija girls in the west de craze! if we get fight una want make i sleep on top uncomfortable couch! na lie
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by Things(m): 9:49pm On Jan 19, 2007
Bros your points are primitive though relatively true, but how careful can you be, not to fall into the wrong hand . I think in all this your point the best result you could get is to lessen your pain in finding a wife cos definitely you jam new discoveries as soon as the contract is signed, even you the guy will discover new things about urself that will get you and your "wife" shocked.
Or how will you explain a seemingly good chick, who met all grin almost all your criteria, gone thru thick and thin with her boyfriend, but as soon as it became certain that he was travelling abroad she got pregnant and only told the guy 4 weeks to his departure that she is 2 months pregnant asking for family introduction.
I mean that's desperation! or What do you guy say?
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by ima1(f): 10:49pm On Jan 19, 2007
God i can't imagine what happened to you to make you write stuff like that lol
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by delboy(m): 10:58pm On Jan 19, 2007
old boy, best you just stay single ,cos whether you take for a wife, chick from the backwaters of Naija or a well-educated one, if you do not re-orientate yourself, you will end up being on your own, mate.
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by desiree(f): 11:23pm On Jan 19, 2007
I kind of agree with some of the points raised, girls are desperate these days and would do anything to get what they want.

The only solution is for guys abroad to ONLY date and marry someone within their environment, in that case there would be no room for pretence and if you make a wrong move and choose the bad one, you will only have yourself to blame.
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by Macgreat(m): 12:04am On Jan 20, 2007
I NO care to READ but i THINK say the TOPIC na total NONSENCE, i go SEE nna for another TOPIC. . . .piece in shocked and peace out grin
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by katchy(f): 12:25am On Jan 20, 2007
I dont beleive in arranged marriage. Marry a woman who is your friend not the holiness you might be seeing in her because most women put up a good xter when they no u r coming for marriage , So if u get a nice decent girl in US, marry her if you get in nigeria , u can , Location has nothing , I stress nothing to do with a woman that will love you till death. wink
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by Things(m): 12:42am On Jan 20, 2007
Macgreat na wa for you sef. in nonsense you fit get sense o. i was thinking like you when 1st saw the topic but a rethink told me otherwise
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by Macgreat(m): 1:26am On Jan 20, 2007
@ topic MEN MY GUY THIS ONE NA GREAT EXPERIENCE OOOO shocked, NA TRUE YANN,MEN NAIJA GIRLS DEY FORM WELL WELL I JUST SEE WHY. . . .NO WONDER BLESSING RUN AWAY WITH "SEAN" cry cry cry
Re: How Not To Get A Wife In Nigeria If You Live Abroad by ZuluNation(m): 1:35am On Jan 20, 2007
@ topic

I used to live in Houston Nigeria usa, and I've heard so many stories. Very scary but some of it is so true.

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