Many marriages are breaking up because of finances and some men are killing their spouses and some women are sending men into bankruptcy in the west. I think pre-nuptial agreement is the way to g

The rate @ which african marriages r breaking up is really alarming.

africans killin their spouses is up n risin
i dnt know wots going on

Both parties are to be blamed. When the woman forgets what an African home is supposed to be like and forgets what a wife is meant to do. The husband agrees that financial responsibilities should be borne 50-50 and agree to wake up in the middle of the night to change diapers because white people do it. When you do like the West do, you'll get the same results, DIVORCE.

I'm pissed about this issue, I've seen one too many broken marriages out here and I believe that 95% of them won't happen if these parties acted like their fathers did.

I remember saying the same thing Donzman just said on another thread and I was called old fashioned. I believe that most of us Nigerian men go home to get married hoping to marry that Nigerian girl with that same up bringing and cultural back ground as our moms. Sadly when the girl gets here of cause she wants to get Americanized too and guess what trouble.

effects of westernization

Westernisation is not good for anyone who desires a good and stable family. It ends badly too often. African/Nigerian family ways are much more stable no matter how much they try to discredit those ways

its just so sad,knowing that some of our own out there kill our cultural heritage in regards to marraige,but the ladies play a major role in marraige wrecks abroad,because the are easily influenced by the western culture.

They learn all the bad things abroad!
British diplomacy
American frankness
Latino's equality
French women worship
and apply it in their homes
y will it not break and collapse
Half of d nonsense they do abroad, they cant try it here

ask me! and i will tell you that most are for wrong reasons of marrying :p

@boladonas

i agree with you,the western culture make them feel equal to their husband as though they paid the bride price.
HERE IS AN EXPERIENCE A FRIEND'S UNCLE HAD WITH HIS WIFE.

The man got married to a lady here in naija,took her to the states,they've being living together for years and the lady go a good job(not better than his hubby's)suddenly she lost respect and regard for her husband.The husband took it upon himself to spend time with his kids,because their mama was always working,she no longer do no domestic work.the husband was the home maker and the money earner.as an African man,he reported her to her family members back home including her parents.they cautioned their daughter but she turned deaf ears.they even tried to make her come home so they can talk to her,but she remain adamant.a village girl who was called to enjoy now wants to take the bowl from her husband.
But here is the good news, The man was now able to lure her after lots of begging to visit naija for a ceremony.she inclined.so they came to naija,not know that the husband has organized a meeting with her family.when the meeting was going on,the man went in sneaked into his wife's bedroom,took away all her travelling documents.
When the meeting was going on she denied all what the husband said about her and told the elders that it was not true.even before the husband.imagine the fury in the husband when he heard her deny all allegations.
Funny enough she got upset and said she was no longer interested in the marriage and that she wants a divorce.She said she will be travelling the next day back to the States.
when she went in the next morning wanting to get her documents (passport and tickets)it was not there.
she knew the man took it.she asked for it from him and he declined.he asked her,"where do u think u are going to?who took u to the America that is making you misbehave?oya travel now?madam Americana"  she begged for her documents back,her family members also turn deaf ears when they heard about it.
The husband told her he will be leaving and he wants her to start processing the divorce papers.he left for the States leaving her here in Nigeria.
After some time he knew how much he loved the lady,she kept calling him begging him no to leave her that she was sorry.she persisted.But as they say true love never ask why.he came back with her documents and went back with her.
People,do u know what this woman did,she resigned from her job and became a full time house wife.


she for no do am now,if not na naija she go meet her sorry as.

This no be friction, na real oh.

It is not good to let such favours turn bad, how can a woman decide to turn away from her responsibilities in the first place? things happen oh, over here u need to see how they control their husbands,. even call police for them to deport them.

For the man and the woman - the rules change!

Isn't it fair that the woman who shares your responsibility as breadwinner should enjoy similar equality in respect and affection. Anyway for 9ja we get customary or traditional law, this is non-existent in the western world. The soil in which you sow determines the harvest.

As long as there's mutual love and respect, your relationship/marriage will survive anywhere. Otherwise be ready to dance to the music when the location changes.

Should a man be worshipped when he brings you abroad just to satisfy his own selfish needs. Women no dey abroad? Why should a man return home just for the sole purpose of marrying someone who will be subservient.

What happens when a woman brings a man abroad and he ends up ordering her around instead of working his head out to pay the bills and give the woman and children a good life.

Interesting topic,good contrbutions and a bad attitude from the naija women(well not all women)

Hmmm, True talk. Most of dis women r influenced by their friends

its like a culture there,a nigerian will simply blend.remb.nigerians aint original they tend to copy both good and bad.if they were in their mother land no matter the circumstance majority of em will endure rather than jumpin into a divorce.

_yawns


next!!

na wa oh

the answer is not far fetch. breakup is the other of the day. our women seen to 4get our values,even xtain values. no time,just work,work,lookin 4 money and 4getin values. i put the large blame on women. God help us.

free if its not worth your while then dont say nothing.How many fleas got in.

where is Free from?

definitely not a Nigerian

who cares where she from she(@free)is too petty rite?, damn.

I agree. Very high divorce rate among Africans abroad. I believe it's around 50% or so. Which is about the same rate as marriages in the US in general.

In most of these cases Finance and infidelity are usually involved. I guess we just have to remember where we are from, where we have been, and stick to our moral values.

moral values?
infidelity, wife beating are okay in Nigeria but divorce is not

If women are not so repressed in Nigeria, I think divorce rate will be in the region of 30-40% considering we are more likely to sort out things through dialogue (religion and other family member),

@Loverbwoy

Infidelity and wife beating are NOT okay in Nigeria so I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not sure I've seen a man who beats his wife and people still pay him respect. Even at that, in the West we still have women sticking with men who beat them and cheat on them so stop acting like it's only in Nigeria where women stick with men who treat them like shit!

I think i should replace that with Africa, and when i say okay i know what i mean, _{just like saying rape is okay in nigeria but that will be pushing it}

donzman, it's all in the numbers man/percentages/statistics. . . .

is loverboy from a background of wife beating men and rapists?
it's not something that happens in my family

No, im not

Im talking about the society twerp

to you, your surroundings and your those you know is the perfect representation of the African society
ya daftie

Why are you so surprised that the rate of divorce is high? Finally women can make use of those rights that she has been denied of in Africa. She is now in the position to decide if she wants to stay in a shitty marriage or not. And talking about African values, morals and so on. I see nothing like that in Africa. I only see a continent where women are treated as inferior entities at the man's avantage. Hypocrisy suits better.

Who knows the reason why only the men are complaining about this westernization? Oh! maybe because they aren't seen as the heads anymore but just as individuals whom women also are.

i agree