Overtime,i've Learnt to trust my instincts,and recently,it has been telling me that my relationship is about to hit a bumpy road. There has been this unusual disconnect in my relationship with my half,i thought about an effective communication with her so she could possibly let me in on stuffs going on in her mind.

I felt 2 major things could be the cause of this disconnect:

1) maybe she has found a better happiness somewhere,and if that's the case I need not distract her from her new found feeling,i just need to find happiness myself.

2) Maybe she's dealing with stuffs that are just too complicated for her to air out.

It turned out number 2 was the reason for her bumpy behaviour. She said ever since she met me,I made her stray away from God,she has no relationship with God whatsoever. She also said,she want things to be like they were before sex came up. Finally,she says she doesn't want sex anymore.

So she says no sex,and I wonder how things got to this point. I used to think we were the best things that happened to ourselves ,but it turned out a strange feeling was hidden in the matrix of our relationship. I'd like to hear from folks who have been though this phase,how did you deal with the situation?

Btw, I understand that no one is indispensable, not me either.
Cc:
Freespirited
Paulkillerman
Nina4u
Luminouz
Stallione

She might truly be feeling guilty for her Christian life and want to retrace her step. Feeling dirty sometimes comes with some sort of hate for oneself and the party involved, this might take some time. On the other hand she might just be building up excuses to leave since she might have something more better to her going on above your radar. My advice is this, dont force it at any point. Give her the breeze needed to make her decision, then you two can pick it up from there.

Why not offer your advice?

Afonjashapmouth:
Ok

Let me listen to elderly people

No sex?

Yes,she said so. Btw, our relationship is 2yrs old

Kondomatic:
No sex?

Any woman wey tell me ds, I bid farewell. ....


God is better dan me...I concur



The problem wt ds kind of ladies is dt wen u finally dnt hv sex n let dem go closer to God, dey will still come up wt something else.

illuminated93:
Why not offer your advice?

Shattap and wait

Broda,that's the reason I created this thread,so i'd hear what the wise and elders have been say about this issue.

youngest85:
Let me listen to elderly people

If this is a reason,then i'd just shake my head and move on.

Afonjashapmouth:

On the other hand she might just be building up excuses to leave since she might have something more better to her going on above your radar. My advice is this, dont force it at any point. Give her the breeze needed to make her decision.

illuminated93:
If this is a reason,then she missed out on something great.

Bruff women r funny being that we cant do without, they can coil up because you tell them thank you and might be jumping up happy because you tell them to shut up. You just have to be diplomatic and make sure you see to.the root of this before making any decision. Dont wrap your mind around cheating yet.

Thanks for being a wiser broda!

Afonjashapmouth:


Bruff women r funny being that we cant do without, they can coil up because you tell them thank you and might be jumping up happy because you tell them to shut up. You just have to be diplomatic and make sure you see to.the root of this before making any decision. Dont wrap your mind around cheating yet.

.

Was she a virgin before you met her? How was her past relationship, are you the first guy she's dating, What's her belief about sex? Do you think shes that religious to forsake sex or she's just using religion as an excuse
You might have to be sure about all these

On a lighter mood, Abi you no fvck her well well?

The real issue is, she's confused or immature about what she wants that is if shes religious enough.

On the flip side, there's every tendency that an underlying issue is somewhere.... Which she has not told you or you havnt known

She might not see the future with you again, or she doesn't get enough reassurance from you, or she feels you've been using her for just sex..... it may also be financial issue.....You have to find out

If you still cnt understand.... Just let her be....don't disturb her, tell her it means you guys are not compatible...Find a young gal for yourself to cool off for the time...so that u won't get too worry about it.

If she wants you...after a while you will know.

I think I shld let you in on other stuffs. She was talking to me feeling condemned,she feels God has no ears for her prayers cos of her sex life. I countered by telling her that sex is a sin like any other sin(lies,theft,gossip). Moreover,we live by grace not by our works. But then,I think she's not really matured enough to go through this phase without struggle.
This scenario is similar to that of a soldier sent to kill bokoharam members. Ofcourse, he does pray before going for God's guidance. But then, he commits murder on a daily basis. Would it be right for him not to pray because he kills people? I don't think so. The soldier finds a way to eliminate this guilt and he moves on. However,its not like I cheat or something,she knows she's the only one i'm being promiscuous with and she said this. The truth is,I don't want to be the one that makes her feel bad,but on this issue,we are both not on the same page.

Afonjashapmouth:


Bruff women r funny being that we cant do without, they can coil up because you tell them thank you and might be jumping up happy because you tell them to shut up. You just have to be diplomatic and make sure you see to.the root of this before making any decision. Dont wrap your mind around cheating yet.

1) Yea, I met her a virgin,but she knew about sex and all that,cos she read stuffs on the internet.

2)I don't think she's that religious,not like the born again people. She's more of a secular christian who wants a close relationship with God

3) I don't think there exist a guy that fuccks better than I do.

4)she said it's like the sex is the basis of our relationship. I was stunned when she said this anyways.

5) we both have been going through a financial meltdown offlate.

I'm kinda concerned about our future together. If she pictures a future with me,why would she want us to stop abruptly something we've already started? Except of course she feels when everything ends, she'll end up being the loser. That is to say,in her heart of hearts,she thinks things won't go as planned and we won't end up being couples. The only reason i'm this concerned about her is cos I really do love her,but the feedback I'm getting are not worthwhile. Everyone has a point where they stop caring,this I fear I might start doing,and it would mark the beginning of the end

FreeSpirited:
Was she a virgin before you met her? How was her past relationship, are you the first guy she's dating, What's her belief about sex? Do you think shes that religious to forsake sex or she's just using religion as an excuse
You might have to be sure about all these

On a lighter mood, Abi you no fvck her well well?

The real issue is, she's confused or immature about what she wants that is if shes religious enough.

On the flip side, there's every tendency that an underlying issue is somewhere.... Which she has not told you or you havnt known

She might not see the future with you again, or she doesn't get enough reassurance from you, or she feels you've been using her for just sex..... it may also be financial issue.....You have to find out

If you still cnt understand.... Just let her be....don't disturb her, tell her it means you guys are not compatible...Find a young gal for yourself to cool off for the time...so that u won't get too worry about it.

If she wants you...after a while you will know.

illuminated93:
Overtime,i've Learnt to trust my instincts,and recently,it has been telling me that my relationship is about to hit a bumpy road. There has been this unusual disconnect in my relationship with my half,i thought about an effective communication with her so she could possibly let me in on stuffs going on in her mind.

I felt 2 major things could be the cause of this disconnect:

1) maybe she has found a better happiness somewhere,and if that's the case I need not distract her from her new found feeling,i just need to find happiness myself.

2) Maybe she's dealing with stuffs that are just too complicated for her to air out.

It turned out number 2 was the reason for her bumpy behaviour. She said ever since she met me,I made her stray away from God,she has no relationship with God whatsoever. She also said,she want things to be like they were before sex came up. Finally,she says she doesn't want sex anymore.

So she says no sex,and I wonder how things got to this point. I used to think we were the best things that happened to ourselves ,but it turned out a strange feeling was hidden in the matrix of our relationship. I'd like to hear from folks who have been though this phase,how did you deal with the situation?

Btw, I understand that no one is indispensable, not me either.
Cc:
Freespirited
Paulkillerman
Nina4u
Luminouz
Stallione

Here is luminous to help a brother out!!!!
I have been through a similar case....she said I was taking her away from God n she wanted a time out(which was after a night I purposely refused to Bleep her coz I got exams am preparing for) I told her we should talk about it as a couple,DAT it ain't cool for her to just decide to go AWOL for 3 months coz of her sudden urge to repent of her sinz(she didnt suggest i take time off o coz i SINNED too) i knew she was up to something but becoz am a free minded guy....I let her have her time off(no calls no text)! Fast forward 2months later...I went to her neighborhood to get something from a mall n on a hunch just decided to check her..it was d best decision I ever made bro! I just barged into her room n u should have seen d look on my ex face when she saw me looking aghast as she was diiiking herself with a candle(the big size)... I recovered sharperly n just asked her if DAT candle has been baptized for HOLEY penetration n I walked out! Her hypocrisy disgusted me n I sharpely called two gehs wey don dey eye me since n forgot about her! She came d following week to tell bla bla bla ..I always evoke d spirit of lust in her...she feels like having sex anytime she is with me n God had finally told her break up with me n SHIIIT! She couldnt even look at me when talking! She wanted to punish me for 3 months without sex especting me to run over begging her n all dat but when she couldnt take it anymore she self serviced...I just called my new gf to come over n told her lying hypocritical ass to get outta my room.

My advice is simple..if ur sure she is sincere about how she feels n not a pretender....help her dedicate more time to her spiritual life at d expense of sex( if u can do without it oooo) but most times gehs like DAT think ur d reason they sinned(as if no be d 2 of una fvck) n will wanna break off with u to concentrate fully on God! If u love her let her have her space but have another geh ready to take over if she fvcks up o.....

illuminated93:
I think I shld let you in on other stuffs. She was talking to me feeling condemned,she feels God has no ears for her prayers cos of her sex life. I countered by telling her that sex is a sin like any other sin(lies,theft,gossip). Moreover,we live by grace not by our works. But then,I think she's not really matured enough to go through this phase without struggle.
This scenario is similar to that of a soldier sent to kill bokoharam members. Ofcourse, he does pray before going, for God's guidance. But then, he commits murder on a daily basis. Would it be right for him not to pray because he kills people? I don't think so. The soldier finds a way to eliminate this guilt and he moves on. However,its not like I cheat or something,she knows she's the only one i'm being promiscuous with and she said this. The truth is,I don't want to be the one that makes her feel bad,but on this issue,we are both not on the same page.

I get your point but the question is this, when you guys met was she a devoted Christian and also are guys in anyway close to the alter?

We have to find a way to surmount this hurdle. On this issue, we are clearly not on the Same page.

luminouz:


Here is luminous to help a brother out!!!!
I have been through a similar case....she said I was taking her away from God n she wanted a time out(which was after a night I purposely refused to Bleep her coz I got exams am preparing for) I told her we should talk about it as a couple,DAT it ain't cool for her to just decide to go AWOL for 3 months coz of her sudden urge to repent of her sinz(she didnt suggest i take time off o coz i SINNED too) i knew she was up to something but becoz am a free minded guy....I let her have her time off(no calls no text)! Fast forward 2months later...I went to her neighborhood to get something from a mall n on a hunch just decided to check her..it was d best decision I ever made bro! I just barged into her room n usshoukd have seen d look on my ex face when she saw me looking aghast as she was diiiking herself with a candle(the big size)... I recovered shsrperly n just asked her if DAT candle has been baptized for HOLEY penetration n I walked out! Her hypocrisy disgusted me n I sharpely called two gehs wey don dey eye me since n forgot about her! She came d following week to tell bla bla bla ..I always evoke d spirit of lust in her...she feels like having sex anytime she is with me n God had finally told her break up with me n SHIIIT! I just called my new gf to come over n told her lying hypocritical ass to get outta my room.

My advice is simple..if ur sure she is sincere about how she feels n not a pretender....help her dedicate more time to her spiritual life at d expense of sex( if u can do without it oooo) but most times gehs like DAT think ur d reason they sinned(as if no be d 2 of una fvck) n will wanna break off with u to concentrate fully on God! If u love her let her have her space but have another geh ready to take over if she fvcks up o.....

illuminated93:
1) Yea, I met her a virgin,but she knew about sex and all that,cos she read stuffs on the internet.

2)I don't think she's that religious,not like the born again people. She's more of a secular christian who wants a close relationship with God

3) I don't think there exist a guy that fuccks better than I do.

4)she said it's like the sex is the basis of our relationship. I was stunned when she said this anyways.

5) we both have been going through a financial meltdown offlate.

I'm kinda concerned about our future together. If she pictures a future with me,why would she want us to stop abruptly something we've already started? Except of course she feels when everything ends, she'll end up being the loser. That is to say,in her heart of hearts,she thinks things won't go as planned an we won't end up being couples. The only reason i'm this concerned about her is cos I really do love her,but the feedbacks I'm getting are not worthwhile. Everyone has a point where they stop caring,this I fear I might start doing,and it would mark the beginning of the end

I think I have said everything and thank you for confirming my suspicion

Now you can see the real picture:

1) Financial issue : Financial issue usually brings out a lot of avoidables...Most times, when a lady thinks she's bringing more money into the relationship, she might have a doubt if theres no enough commitment frm u and starts to misbehave. Try and thrash d money issue.

2) Reassurance : She's not getting enough reassurance,and she's scared she might lose at both ends. Especially from the way you do fvck her anyhow ,( E kon be lik say na only fvck u dey contribute to the relationship ) I wouldn't advice you to overdo it though, cos ladies get complacent when vthey know their guy will always dig them and pack their shiit. But u can spice things up at times.... And say dose sweet things we are good at saying to make her mind rest, den fire her yansh again...lol


3) These are are major concerns not the sex issue. Don't be surprised she could still tender her pvssie to be fvcked by another guy she only has sexual attraction for...In fact, while she seems to be bored with you, she becomes more vulnerable to sex-predators out there...alias: bad guys who wud just give her sexual satisfaction........Good luc...Na word u go still give her to buy her back and some trips....Bros work hard

When I asked her out,she wasn't close to God. As at then,she was fighting depression.
Close to the altar, like marriage? Not really,we still have at least 3yrs to go.

Afonjashapmouth:



I get your point but the question is this, when you guys met was she a devoted Christian and also are guys in anyway close to the alter?

Yea,I know women shouldn't b trusted, judging from personal experiences and no woman should be vouched for,but then,there's always an antidote for this kinda behaviour. You should know what i'm talking about. Thanks for your opinions.

FreeSpirited:
Don't be surprised she could still tender her pvssie to be fvcked by another guy she only has sexual attraction for...In fact, while she seems to be bored with you, she becomes more vulnerable to sex-predators out there...alias: bad guys who wud just give her sexual satisfaction........

No gree for no-sex o....

@Op Change the topic of your post so that it can attract more contributors....Something like: 'Help!!! my fiancee is denying me sex after a very active sexual life'

Ok thank you bros.

FreeSpirited:
@Op Change the topic of your post so that it can attract more contributors....Something like: 'Help!!! my fiancee is denying me sex after a active sexual life'

Afonjashapmouth:
She might truly be feeling guilty for her Christian life and want to retrace her step. Feeling dirty sometimes comes with some sort of hate for oneself and the party involved, this might take some time. On the other hand she might just be building up excuses to leave since she might have something more better to her going on above your radar. My advice is this, dont force it at any point. Give her the breeze needed to make her decision, then you two can pick it up from there.

Well said dear..

illuminated93:
Ok thank you bros.

You must be push about for you to also change the topic of the thread.

illuminated93:
When I asked her out,she wasn't close to God. As at then,she was fighting depression.
Close to the altar, like marriage? Not really,we still have at least 3yrs to go.

Then enjoy the breeze its one of those ups and down.. It may shock you at the end of the day you guys might grow apart, prolly not meant to be or just going through a phase.

Truthfully, I wouldn't want that. She has many shortcomings, but I really do love her.

Afonjashapmouth:



Then enjoy the breeze its one of those ups and down.. It may shock you at the end of the day you guys might grow apart, prolly not meant to be or just going through a phase.

@freespirited,she will see this thread soon,cos she's a nairalander and she looks up my account every now and then.

illuminated93:
Truthfully, I wouldn't want that. She has many shortcomings, but I really do love her.

If you truly love her then try to understand her and play along untill her head is clear... Leave all this NL sex talkers.... A relationship worth saving is worth sacrificing for.... If u r too weak to keep up with her standard then spill it out.

Leave her NOW! 
Not only will you have to go without sex but you'll also be stuck with a religious nut for the rest of your life. And they only get more delusional as they get older. 
My guess, your relationship won't last that long.

Lobatan ...



Luminouz aka kunlery

My broda, when it comes to women, the good guys always lose. While I was still an undergraduate, I had a lady that was supposedly engaged asking me to fucck her. I know of scenarios where you are fingering a lady and her fiance calls her and she says she's in the library,what library!. I'm gonna be real as much as I can,i'm not gonna be like;Hey I don't want sex because I want to convince my woman that i'm the man for her. I'm not gonna try convincing anyone,if we still feel this thing called love,then I will try to make things right and help her overcome this crazy guilt

Afonjashapmouth:


If you truly love her then try to understand her and play along untill her head is clear... Leave all this NL sex talkers.... A relationship worth saving is worth sacrificing for.... If u r too weak to keep up with her standard then spill it out.

illuminated93:
When I asked her out,she wasn't close to God. As at then,she was fighting depression.
Close to the altar, like marriage? Not really,we still have at least 3yrs to go.

Your Choices: Get her to compromise; be satisfied with hand jobs or whatever she has to offer; cheat; become celibate; ditch her...