I am a 26yr old Indian girl and I am confused and lost. I was single and happy and I didn't ever want to fall in love because I have seen my friends suffer due to love failure and all. So I was just happy to live my single life while pursuing my career.
It was only an year back,when I met a guy who was my recently married uncle's brother in law but only an year elder than me. He was working in US and had come for vacation when we met for first time. Instantly I had a crush on him. He was fair and handsome, but a little too tall for me , but he was liked by all. Everyone knew him except me as I was away from home for my studies. Few days later he went back to US and me back to my career. One day I was scrolling through my fb when I happened to see his profile. I casually send him request and he accepted. From then onwards, we chatted whenever we had time. I know I had a crush on him but I ignored it and we became friends. We talked through phone a few times. One day he hinted like he likes me,but I don't know why but I freaked out, thinking about how our families will react, what if it led to a quarrel. I tried to pretend that I didn't understand him. He left the topic that day. But later on , he would again hint about it and one day I told him about my fears and to ask my uncle about this. If no one has any problem with us , then I will say ok. He consoled me and that's all. I didn't go to that topic anymore. We chatted as always for an year and one day he gave me some news which shattered me. He said that his family wants him to get married to a girl they had sought for him. I didn't know what to do but I hid my sorrow and told him , if he wants to do so , then he should do it. He mumbled an ok and the topic ended. We again chatted. And one fine day he said that , he is in town and that he saw that girl and nodded yes to the marriage. I knewi loved him and by my chatting ,he must have known that I too loved him. I just wanted no harm to our families due to us. I again hid my pain and congratulated him. I started keeping distance from him and chatted less often ,so that I don't get heartbroken in the end and so that I don't hate him. But one fine morning, he texted me angrily saying that , why am I avoiding him, there must be a new guy in my life that he is not more wanted by me and that everything was​ just a timepass for me. I can'tcan't express how much pain did his words hurt me. I started trying to make him explain and in the end I had to tell him all that I was hiding in my heart. That i loved him and avoiding him was to heal my pain. He blamed me for not telling sooner and then he wouldn't have said yes to the girl. I consoled him saying we both must not have been right for each other and that it's God's decision. But he won't understand. He told me to message him as earlier and not to reduce my love for him.He became possessive of me and his messages resembled to that of a crazy lover. I did that for him , even after knowing the outcome but still kept a little distance for the sake of my heart. Soon only a month was left for his marriage. He messaged me that dont worry, even if i marry her ,i wont forget you and you too. He came to town a week before his marriage and from then on , there was no more messages. His mother came to invite me to his wedding as I was his relative. Three days I had to go to his house, but he was busy . Yet he smiled dearly whenever his eyes fell upon me. That week was hard for me. I couldn't eat , nor sleep well. But still I went to his marriage day and kept a straight smiling face while posing for the wedding photos, keeping a distancefrom him. It was too much for me to bear all the pain to myself without being able to tell anyoneeven my sister. I don't know what's ​going in his mind , but I indulged in every activity to keep me distracted and at night when no one was around me ,I cried. Counting today , it's been the fourth day after his marriage and now I am escaping from here to my career place. I don't know if I am ready to face him or him and his wife together without filling my eyes with tears. I don't want to be a second option for him. I don't want home to worry about me. But sometimes in my wildest of my dreams , I wonder if all was a mere hallucination of my mind or whether he was just fooling around me. But I know he'sa nice guy and that I still love him. Look at me , who was once a single and happy ,who used to advice all my friends about not to be in love. And see? Falling in an unrequited love.. I am now just praying to God that he be happy with his wife. Because I don't know what I will do if he comes back asking for my love once he's back in US. Any advice or suggestions for this an-hour-long essay by this lost girl? I KNOW THIS IS TOO LONG TO READ ,BUT IT IS WRITTEN FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART , SO PLEASE BE KIND AND PATIENT TO READ THIS. PLEASE DO GIVE ADVICE BECAUSE I CAN'T​ TELL ANYONE ELSE.
Yours
Lost Girl..

If u love sm1 just say it fu*k what d world thinks , I gat no advice here least I make thing fuc*ed. Things will really get weird

poo do happen anyways. you played hard to get but saddly you missed it so you caused ur pain. perhaps that must not weigh you down moreover you were never into him and nothing has happened just chatting.

textbook ni o.

Thanks for the messages​.. I know , I messed it up high.. hope he was not the right one for me. Waiting for a guy who will love me for what I am and who will understand me like no one ever could..
Yours trying-not-to-be-lost girl

aaithi for me open ur hearth and give love a Chance