I don't know why Igbos, most especially Anambra people, don't allow their children, especially the daughters, to marry from another tribe.

Please I would like to know because I have a friend that is in love with a middle belt man but when the man proposed the parents refused. The parents are against it because the man is not igbo and he has a son from his past relationship.

Please, I would like to hear your opinions on this issue. I need answers.

How can i marry against my parent wish! is not possible.Who am i in the first place.

Elizabeth:

How can i marry against my parent wish! is not possible.Who am i in the first place.

do you not value yourself.
They inheritance is going to the first son they are thinking of that.
But if she really wants nothing can stop her.
I would do it.

it is only right that you get the blessings of your parents before you get married, its very important.

but sometimes parents dont always know what is best for you and try to dictate their way forgetting its not their life but yours and you are the one who has to spend the rest of your life with the person, not them.

"Parent wishes" Well, our parents are very crucial to our life.In all our activities, they are graded as no1.But in most cases, they seems to be very autocratic and refused to understand. Some parents will persuade their daughters not to get married to another tribe.And at the same time,want the man from another tribe to assisst their daughters.Most daughters got their university certificates from those men.So, its unfair to receive assistance from them without fullfiling their heart desires. Getting married againts our parents wishes is not a taboo.But we need their blessings for a fruitful marriage.

To hell with parents' wishes when it comes to marriage

cushman:

To hell with parents' wishes when it comes to marriage

Dats rather not fair, don't u think.

There's no way on earth i'd ever marry against ma parents wish,  haba!!!its jst not right!

I think, generally in the naija context, it's the females that tend to struggle with the question. Speaking for myself, while it'll be great for my parents and hers [my future mate's] to our give their consent to our union, I do not place a high premium on their approval. If your parents' consent mean so much to you as an individual, you might as well just ask them to pick a mate for you. The whole idea, atleast in my opinion, is overrated, as some of our folks can be so rigid about it that it's not even funny. To the point where they unfairly withold their consent as a form of blackmail, usually based on unfounded prejudice and stereotypes. I'm a grown man and therefore can make that decision on my own and live with the consequences, thank you.

Mayb, its okay 2 do so, wel, dats cos a person knws his or her folks better,

besides, mayb we shd realy look at some reasons y dey object 2 it, am nt a person dats al 4 tradition, bt i place a lot of pride knwing dat ma spouse-2-b is accepted by ma family, dis is bicos we r al very attached 2 one anoda.

by realy, u knw ur folks beta dan anyone, u decide if u want dir blessing or not!

9.99999 out of 10 times, I would not get married to the person. First, because I don't want to get disowned. And second because my parents would know better than me when it comes to relationships. It's that whole, "age makes you wiser" kind of thing. But if it's that person that I feel is very rare, then I think it might go against it. But I have to honestly feel that the person, and their family (that's a big one right there) are worth it.

i must b frank wit u it wil neva pay who eva ass 2marry against ur parents will as much as it is not for selfish interest of ur parents. In a situation where dey rejected who eva u want 2marry and u eva sure is the right person 4u, as their child u shld let them see reason wit u and try as much as possible to convince them, those parents are human too, so they should understand feelings. So dont marry without ur parents blessings and or wishes cos thirer blessings help ur marriage.

If my parents love me they would let me marry who ever i want to.Cause it's my life and happiness.

I have a daughter and she can marry whom ever she wants the only thing i can do is advice her.I don't like white people but still i wont tell her that it is not possible to marry one if she comes home with him.

It's her life, and if it doesn't work out i will be there for her that's the only thing u can do as a parent.

I said something about the man having a son(8year old) from his past relationship,and no one has said anything about that.pls i stll need answers

Its not really advisable to marry against your parent's wish because if anything happens to you ,you will regret for the rest your life.

Marriage is a commitment between a man and a woman.

However, you should consider the reasons why your parents are against your choice. You would need to be mature about the situation.
Perhaps your parents can see traits, which you are too deep in love to identify.
More often than not, parents object because of issues like tribe, and like you mentioned an out of wedlock child.

Depending on your outlook in life, you should decide (not your parents) whether you can accommodate cultural differences, and also this other child.

At the end of the day, it is you, and not your parents that would live with the man and his other child.

I believe tht evry marriage needs God's blessing n also parents' blessings, but nowdays i do not knw y parents still want or still choose partners 4 their children. in as much as the bible says we shld respect and obey our parents, we shld also make them realise that marrige is a life time institution.

we must not disregard our parents' advice cos dey r more experienced than we r in marriage issues but make dem understand d fact tht where some1 comes frm does nt always matter but rather the indiviual's pesonality. make sure love has not made u blind to see realities. our parents r not monsters dey will explain their reason(s) and either come to terms wit u or u wit dem.

do u knw d true reason 4 d out of wedlock child? make sure u do so, so u don't fall a victim urself.

please do not discard parents' advice and their marriage blessings.

Parents would usually let u marry whoever if they see u are determined. If however, they insist on u not marrying a particular person for less trivial issues like tribe,then u have carefully consider what they're saying. Afterall they want the best for u

My 2 cents is this. I don't care who u are. please always listen to your parents. Let me say it again please listen to your parents. If you want to marry somebody, for a lady, take the guy around other guys with no vested interest and let them do the evaluation because they might see things that u will miss. Also if u are a guy take the girl around your mom and other female family members and let them interact and see whats their feeling. Women has an uncanny ability to "sniff" out other women and know right away if something aint right.

I have a similar experience and is very recent. im very glad i listen to my Mom. The older u get, the wiser your parents become. u can say today that its your life/business but how would u feel if u get sick tomorrow and none of your family members show up?

Yuo still need family. Find out y your suitor was rejected and try to work on your parents on that. if your suitor has a bad xter then theres no compromise just run. However if its solely on the basis of tribe. Try to let them see that hes a good person and you love the person.

More often than not parent react to their experience or hearsay about a tribe without a direct knowledge of anyone from that tribe. if theres a successful couple in your area who are from different tribe, try to point to those as an example.

Then for a closer, ask them if Mr/Ms A is from our tribe and will mistreat me, but Mr/Ms B is from the other tribe and will respecr/love me will you still marry me off to A?

He has a son,
Find out about the traditional law of inheritance in his place.
It is possible that the boy may grow up and kick you ot of his fathers house

This is very intersting but i want u all to talk more on the religion aspect of the topic discussed 'cos i've got a problem with that.i just broke up with my girl last month 'cos her mama say i be muslim but the fact's dat we were perfect 2geder and its obvious.how would u guys reconcile this.Regards

@ babusbabus,

you are in deep trouble Jokes aside, i will say try and see if you can go talk to her parents thru her/their pastor. You dont have to abandon your religion but if u are not a hardcore muslim go to church with her.

Its easier to go to church and be "one of them" than go to mosque. i wouldnt even know where to begin how 2 pray like a muslim. Theres nothing that says you can compromise for your girl especially if u say you guys are very compatible. Very hard to find people like that u know.Give it a try. its worth it.

Good luck. You'll need it.

Its all fine and gud to always listen to ur Parents,however wat they mite want is not always d rite decision for u.Afterall its not ur parents dat will have to live wiv whoever they've chosen 4 u 4 d rest of ur life.i think the best things to follow are ur heart and head.

i agree with my friend above, for God's sake we are in the 21st century.I CAN ALSO MARRY AGAINST MY PARENTS WISHES

@BabusBabus: Bro, in Naija, parents generally wield enormous influence over their children [especially the females] due to social [and economic] conditioning. A lot of us naijans, due to economic considerations, often remain dependent on our parents for far too long, and as a result, they sometimes exploit that dependence as a means of blackmail in order to impose their will on their children. Some will even chose your college major and mate/future spouse for you if you let them, give you guilt-trips and harp on and on about how they carried you for 9-months, paid your way through school, clothe, housed and fed your behind, in their attempt to impose their will on you and convince you that they know best. Your situation is a classic case in point, where you have a girl who's ardently/fanatically submissive to her parents' wishes that she'd even disregard/deny her own feelings. Why couldn't such a parent simply advice her daughter about the potential hazards of inter-religious unions and allow the girl to consider such counsel and then make her own decision, instead of being so rigid to the point of compelling her to end the relationship. That's draconian, if you ask me. You might as well just fashi and move on, bro.   

I'll tell you what, honestly, it's because of parents like that, that I shy away from seriously dating females from other parts of naija, outside yorubaland, out of fear that these girls may be too weak-willed to put up a fight in the event that their parents object to our relationship out of sheer prejudice. Sometimes we gotta respectfully/lovingly, yet firmly, stand our ground before our parents and take responsibility for our own decisions. Parents don't always know best, though sometimes they can be right on the money. 

i would
especailly if they have self centred reason like
"you r not astrologically compatible"
"he is not form our class"
"my friend son is on the line"
"He's tribe ?"
"I dont like that guy"
etc

I appreciate all your commentaries, but what if it is the guy's mother that doesn't like the lady (maybe b/cos she has another girl in mind for the guy)and the guy feels scared of hurting his mother's feelings, what do you suggest the lady should do in this case

See. its always tricky whenever it comes to parental consent for their children's marriage.

My advice it: try and reach a compromise, if there are some particular things they dont like about the other person, try and positively project them and counter some other wrong assumptions parents may have.

Bottomline, always listen to parents when they say things like that or object to whomever yu wanna marry, their reasons may be genuine and based on life experiences.

It'll be a taboo to go rad. , the repercussions aint always sweet.

Trust me, I KNOW!

Re:Can You Marry Against Your Parents Wishes?
Well, for me, I know at times is good to follows your parents advice. But my parents will never ever stop me from marrying the girl of my life. The only thing i expect from my parents is an advice.

If u have respect for Ur parent and u want their blessing then u would not marry against there wish if u do then u should knw that the marriage wouldn't last almost 2years their is always going to be trouble until the both of u dipart son don't do it. I'm talking from experience. i will nottalk 2much

i do not support marrying against one's parent's wishes, however it is very important that you sit down with them and ask them to tell you their reasons for their refusal. it is important that you analyse it with them. remember they have years of experience including other people's experience. thank you.

i do not support marrying against one's parent's wishes, however it is very important that you sit down with them and ask them to tell you their reasons for their refusal. it is important that you analyse it with them. remember they have years of experience including other people's experience. thank you.

it all depends on my parents reasons