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Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? (20334 Views)

Poll: Can you marry against your parents' wishes?

Yes: 55% (70 votes)
No: 44% (56 votes)
This poll has ended

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Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by dunzpetro(m): 10:19am On Feb 02, 2007
It is not proper for one to marry against the parent's wishes but some parents who would'nt give the nod due to tribe,status,education,etc. should not be listened to, 'cos what they consider appropriate might not stick,again they would'nt be there when one would be having problems with the spouse they supposedly think is the right choice for u. So i'll advice u to follow your heart,for where ur heart goes, there ur treasure lies. Parents wish or not.

2 Likes

Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by afrikangal(f): 1:24pm On Feb 02, 2007
u know parents are very crucial in our lives.u shld marry d person u love and love u .but is neccesary to marry d person ur parents are happy wit but they smiley choose wrong person 4 u sometimes. angry angry angry
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by nike4luv(f): 1:43pm On Feb 02, 2007
i'll try my best to change their views about my suitor and if they dont agree, am sorry but i'll go on with the marriage. i can't sabotage my future because of what my parents think
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by Nobody: 10:23pm On Feb 04, 2007
i wouldn't like to marry against my parent's wishes. My parent should know my boy friend before ever talking about marriage, then i can know from day one if they want me to marry him or not if its comes to marriage.

I think we can avoid this problem in the future, if our parent is aware of whom we are going out with.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by funweez(f): 3:26pm On Feb 05, 2007
Of course it would be great to have your parents blessings especially if they are people you have a lot of love and respect for.

But its also very difficult, cos atimes they sometimes cant give you any concrete reasons as to why they are against the union. Sometimes its just a gut feeling they have about ur intended.

Talk about being btw the devil n the red sea aye! undecided
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by funweez(f): 3:42pm On Feb 05, 2007
Of course it would be great to have your parents blessings especially if they are people you have a lot of love and respect for.

But its also very difficult, cos atimes they sometimes cant give you any concrete reasons as to why they are against the union. Sometimes its just a gut feeling they have about ur intended.

Talk about being btw the devil n the red sea aye! undecided
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by Damest09(f): 4:06am On Feb 06, 2007
No, I will just try and make them see reasons. If they have reasons why i shouldn't marry that person i will pray about it and parent often see what you can't see because you're are blindfolded by love.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by jgirl3: 6:45am On Feb 06, 2007
I take it that my parents are more experienced than I am and they know me almost inside-out. For me to marry against their wishes means I will definitely be on my own so there is a 90% chance that i won't marry against their wishes but if the love is so strong that I know deep inside me, he is the one for me - then yes i will marry against their wishes
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by kemisole(f): 9:47am On Feb 06, 2007
i agree with u (princenedu)
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by Memunah(f): 7:50pm On Feb 06, 2007
....
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by jydagirl(f): 10:59am On Feb 07, 2007
Had my folks listened to their's,i wld't be here grin
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by frankiriri(m): 1:42pm On Feb 07, 2007
There's a saying that the true value of advice is not that it must be taken but that it would deepen your regret if you dont take it. grin grin grin
With that in mind I would say that when your parents refuse to give their consent, you have to take a step back and properly evaluate their reasons for refusing.
If not you cant get any help if problems develop between you people
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by frankiriri(m): 1:45pm On Feb 07, 2007
I had a freind who married against her peoples wishes. When small marital problems crop up that the parents would have easily settled if it was someone they liked they refused to listen to her in a bid to spite her.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by frankiriri(m): 1:47pm On Feb 07, 2007
I think it is easier for the men to marry without parental consent as the lady's people usually have less influence over the matrimonial home.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by benzion72(m): 4:34pm On Feb 07, 2007
It is good to listen to your parent and it is not too good to listen to your parent. Marriage is for mature adult if you are really mature enough you will be able to see and know what you want for your life you will choose your patner without pride or prejudice, you will also choose based on reasoning rather than ordinary fleeting emotional instinct.
It is also very good if you can listen to superior argument from adult who see beyond the mad love rush of the now
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by nice2nite(m): 6:50pm On Feb 07, 2007
What a question?
well i will like to say i can marry against my parents wishes. the reason is that, i can't let my parent choice to be my own choice,making ur parents choice to be ur choice u will find at later that ur marriage will loook like problem to u especially wen u don't love her/he.the only way will youth can enjoy marriage is when we allow our choice to be the best choice in our life. No matter what people may say or ur parent don't let it border ur cos is ur life, if u made a choice let it remain cos love is all that matters. u cannot marry somebody who u dont love it will rule ur marriage.
I think a marry without my parents wishes if they say dey don't like the girl i really love than i will do without their wishes.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by dashview: 1:31pm On Feb 08, 2007
i can cos she will live with me and not them
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by stellyray(f): 3:39pm On Feb 08, 2007
Anambra girls marry any where plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by Goshen360(m): 8:52pm On Feb 08, 2007
Hi guys @ nairaland,

its quite interesting to discuss this topic here. First, i will like to let everyone here know that its scripturally fundamental to honour one's parents (in all) especially when it comes to marriage issues like this. If your parent are against you marrying someone, its beta for you to stop that marriage for sake of your future.This is the more reason why its important that you let your parent know WHOEVER you are dating before you go too far."KNOW YE NOT THAT WHERE YOUR PARENT SEE WHEN SITTING, EVEN WHEN YOU CLIMB THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN, U NO FIT SEE AM"its important to get your parents' blessing in your marriage.

stay kool
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by 9ja4eva: 9:09pm On Feb 08, 2007
goshen360:

Hi guys @ nairaland,

its quite interesting to discuss this topic here. First, i will like to let everyone here know that its scripturally fundamental to honour one's parents (in all) especially when it comes to marriage issues like this. If your parent are against you marrying someone, its beta for you to stop that marriage for sake of your future.This is the more reason why its important that you let your parent know WHOEVER you are dating before you go too far."KNOW YE NOT THAT WHERE YOUR PARENT SEE WHEN SITTING, EVEN WHEN YOU CLIMB THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN, U NO FIT SEE AM"its important to get your parents' blessing in your marriage.

stay kool

Hai everyone,

I kinda agree with u anyway.I dont tink its right to marry without your parents blessings.What our parents see in our future partners we might not see and when we become strong willed to go into it there is a great possibility of REGRET.Its common now for most people to act to be what they are not and we in love wldnt see it but our parents will.We need to really get rooted and hear parents out before going into any marriage.One thing so many who plied the route of nt listening to their parents have come to realize is that it comes to a certain time in Marriage where it backfires and then it becomes hard for us to go back to the parents we didnt listen too.Well for me i cnt cos i know my parents wldnt pick someone bad for me and i get to tell them of the person before i say yes to the persons proposal.

About the guy that has a kid i honestly do not think the gurls parents will let her cos dt is another world on its own bt its shaunable.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by agnesoseka: 11:49am On Feb 09, 2007
i'd rather remain single than get married,knowing,ma folks dont approve, we r africans and their blessins r important,basically,as our follks,i guess we nid their blessings in what ever we do!!! well, different strokes 4 different folks i guess.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by agnesoseka: 11:59am On Feb 09, 2007
i'd rather remain single than get married,knowing,ma folks dont approve, we r africans and their blessins r important,basically,as our follks,i guess we nid their blessings in what ever we do!!! well, different strokes 4 different folks i guess.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by zodiac(f): 2:44pm On Feb 09, 2007
@topic
i think d reason d parents of ur friend do not consent to d marriage is because d man already has a child with another woman.
i feel girls generally wait for d consent of their parents bfore getting married cos we are more dependent on them than d guys are,and so thet use dat 2 their own advantage.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by joey22(f): 5:43pm On Feb 09, 2007
no i cant marry against my parents wish because without my parents am no body and besides,they always have their genuine reasons cool
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by decarpoo: 5:51pm On Feb 09, 2007
hmm
it is dangerous man dont try it thir blessing is very very impotant and once a marriage is not blessed by the parent there will be comma oo think well okay
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by funty(f): 9:56pm On Feb 10, 2007
if i really luv d person, then sure i can marry against my parents wish. it's my life not theirs and should be my decision even if they dont agree with me.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by Lawijo(m): 7:48pm On Feb 11, 2007
The role of the parents cannot be underestimated considering their important socio-economic positions in a society as Nigeria'.
Further, it will course add more value and less problem for all the parties involved to have the blessings of your parents coupled with all the other very important aspects. I.e. Mutual love, respect, peace, harmony etc
But if you will allow the decision to be taken by your parent, then you will be approaching the whole issue from the perspective that your parents will be telling you their real reason/s for approving or disapproving of specific spouse.
My take on this, is that, all the parents need be concerned about and wish for, is the "hapiness!" of their children and not start playing unnecessary politics that will not be based on any rational, objective nuances.
And finally, it's you who is going to live with this person and put all it requires into this relationship to deal with and overcome the challenges that marriages brings with it and not your parents.
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by jbbaby(m): 4:55pm On Feb 12, 2007
I wouldn't marry wtout my parents consent cos its really going 2 be complicated later. as in no parental blessing n who knows God might just be angry wt u, n den wen in-laws start their wahala, u dnt av ur mumsy 2 go to for advice, no mummy 2 help u thru pregnancy n no mummy 2 help wt 1st child especially. now dat can really be messed up u know. I cant try it friends. smiley
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by akindayor(m): 5:39pm On Feb 12, 2007
am facing same prblm right now my suggestion :let the gal chill out and try to convince mom and dad there's no cause for alarm and being in another tribe does not meanj he's a devil, she just has to investigate their fears and howbeit succinctly so as no to rupture the trust in da relationship.GOd speed
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by 9ja4eva: 10:26pm On Feb 12, 2007
God dey
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by Trendiest(f): 9:17pm On Feb 14, 2007
It really all depends on their reasons, like my dad dosent like my sister's BF cos he's like 7yrs older than her, NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON IF U ASK MI
Re: Can You Marry Against Your Parents' Wishes? by laudate: 1:12pm On Feb 15, 2007
stellyray:

Anambra girls marry any where plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

That is not strictly true o, !!

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