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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do (18412 Views)
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Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Born2Freak(f): 9:34am On May 23, 2017 |
1. Give women bigger breasts and yansh. So many of my Christian sisters have to surgically enhance their ukwu. 2.Give older men strong €rections. So many men rely on viagra and other aphrodisiacs just to enjoy thier God given right to explore the Congo and plant their seeds. 3. Regrow limbs. Amputees never die grow their limbs back in churches. Christian musician, Ayefele has been on wheelchair for years. 4. Deflect Boko harm bombs. So many churches in the birth have been bombed by the Boko boys. If only pastors learnt ode-eshi ( bullet and bomb blocking juju) jazz from the holy spirit. 5. Turn atheists into believers. Jesus convinced doubting Thomas that he was not a ghost but a zombie. Jesus preached to many and turned them into sheep followers. Why can't these pastors deal with these nairaland infidels that call themselves atheists? 15 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by dalaman: 9:36am On May 23, 2017 |
Heal children with down syndrome. 9 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Nobody: 9:36am On May 23, 2017 |
yeye 1 Like |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Born2Freak(f): 9:47am On May 23, 2017 |
dalaman: They couldn't even heal either Buhari or Yar Adua. Is God afraid of healing Muslim presidents? 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by hahn(m): 9:51am On May 23, 2017 |
Pastors don't perform miracles. Only god has the power to perform miracles through it's chosen ones That said, god cannot perform the miracle of putting out a candle light in a room God can't do sheet God is incompetent 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Born2Freak(f): 10:05am On May 23, 2017 |
Pastors don't also heal burn victims. If your body was burnt in a fire, God can't help you. God doesn't do burnt offerings anymore 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by dalaman: 10:05am On May 23, 2017 |
Born2Freak: They never heal known figures only arranged actors. 5 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Born2Freak(f): 10:06am On May 23, 2017 |
dalaman: Staged miracles 6 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by dalaman: 10:07am On May 23, 2017 |
Born2Freak: God can't heal burn victims cos God likes the smell of burning flesh. 8 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Born2Freak(f): 10:08am On May 23, 2017 |
dalaman: Yeah I remember that verse as it ended like thids- "it was pleasing to the lord" 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by BodyKiss(m): 11:17am On May 23, 2017 |
Born2Freak: Pastors will be in the business of regrowing limbs when it's scientifically possible. 3 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Pastafarian: 11:40am On May 23, 2017 |
this thread is funny 3 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Born2Freak(f): 11:49am On May 23, 2017 |
Pastors can't cure baldness. See 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by jonbellion(m): 12:59pm On May 23, 2017 |
Lmao |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Pastafarian: 1:04pm On May 23, 2017 |
Jesus was said in the hole-ly BuyBull to have fed 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes and they had 12 basketful of crumbs left over makes you wonder why Nigerians are dying of hunger everyday; hungry people full church sef 6 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Pastafarian: 1:04pm On May 23, 2017 |
Born2Freak:lol |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Born2Freak(f): 1:34pm On May 23, 2017 |
Also, pastors seem to be unable to cure the perpetual brokenness of some church wardens or ushers. These guys are plagued with body odour, patched clothes, shoes with chopped souls etc |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by obinna58(m): 2:27pm On May 23, 2017 |
God always shows them the future, they can see what happens in 4,8,12,30 yrs time, can even determines a lifetime marriage Yet Bet9ja, surebet, nairabet still exist. Hallelujah 2 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by dalaman: 3:33pm On May 23, 2017 |
Pastafarian: Jesus promised them the ability to do greater things than he did only if they believe on him. They can't do anything because the promise is fictitious. 1 Like |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by dalaman: 3:35pm On May 23, 2017 |
Born2Freak: These set of people can worship pastors. Chai! |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by KingEbukasBlog(m): 6:35pm On May 23, 2017 |
Pastafarian: In my Church , the poor are well taken of . In atheist countries like North Korea , they are sent to death camps or forced to work themselves to death while working for the goverment . Poverty rate in atheist countries are also incredibly high . Christians own 56 percent of the world's wealth while Christianity has the most millionaires in the world . Ignorance is a disease 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Nobody: 6:50pm On May 23, 2017 |
Change HIV +ve patients confirmed via PCR & ELISA to negative 3 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Nobody: 6:51pm On May 23, 2017 |
KingEbukasBlog:And poverty rate in countries like Nigeria and Sudan is reducing drastically abi? Kwantinue 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by realmindz: 9:36pm On May 23, 2017 |
KingEbukasBlog: It seems the only country you know is North Korea...? pls spare us 6 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by realmindz: 9:37pm On May 23, 2017 |
KingEbukasBlog: If your god is not useless, let him cure an amputee or heal a famous person 3 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by Born2Freak(f): 9:40pm On May 23, 2017 |
KingEbukasBlog: You keep repeating this nonsense. Is north Korea crazy because of atheism or communism? Also are there no poor people in your country? 8 Likes |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by DunceNLMods: 9:57pm On May 23, 2017 |
KingEbukasBlog: The depreciation of a mind. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by DunceNLMods: 10:05pm On May 23, 2017 |
Born2Freak: Sarcasm and ignorance is best for people like him. Answering him encourages his idiocy. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by KingEbukasBlog(m): 10:41pm On May 23, 2017 |
Born2Freak: Atheistic logic : Problem with humanity is because people believe in God (Get's shown atheist countries suffering terribly in poverty ) (Get's annoyed ) Keep repeating the same idiotic nonsense , expect the same response from me . Its that simple . 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by KingEbukasBlog(m): 10:42pm On May 23, 2017 |
realmindz: There are thousands of famous people God have healed . You said its coincidence . 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by KingEbukasBlog(m): 10:43pm On May 23, 2017 |
DunceNLMods: Lol . Hopefullandlord's 12th account . 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Miracles That Nigerian Pastors Can't Do by felixomor: 10:49pm On May 23, 2017 |
KingEbukasBlog: LMAO That duplicate atheist moniker is on a meltdown . 1 Like 1 Share |
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