Thunderlicious:
When ure ready to reveal this fantansy to us we will take u serious and advise u. I hope it is not 3Some ooo

Dimples129:
Tell me the secret fantasy and maybe I will help.

I bet you it was a 3some

Xxxx123:
I have been in a relationship with this amazing girl for quite a while and it's been an awesome and adventurous experience for the both of us. We aren't just a romantic couple, we are also best friends. We understand each other on a deep level, both intellectually and sexually, and we spend a lot of time together. In all my life I have never been in love with anyone before, she is my first true love. Over the course of our relationship, we've expressed our feelings for each other, both in words and in deed, so there is no question mark in that regard.

She always made it clear to me that she doesn't like her emotions being toyed with and she strongly values trust in a relationship. I also value trust, but she seems to prioritize it to a higher degree than I do. There have been times when I violated this principle of trust and commitment, by my actions, and there have been times when she also has, although mine vastly outweighs hers, but we've always resolved our issues and moved on. But few weeks ago, something happened. While we were together having a conversation, she revealed something to me that according to her, she has been afraid and embarrassed to reveal to me. It was about her sexual fantasies. She said she didn't want to tell me about it because she was afraid I'd "push her" because it was also something I liked and I've always made mention of how I wished for her to be interested in it, not knowing that it formed the core of her own sexuality. When she revealed this piece of information to me, I didn't take it as seriously as she wanted me to take it, plus I was partly excited, and I did something that epitomized "pushing her" towards indulging in these fantasies. Something I now regret. After I did what I did, she said she didn't want me anymore in her life because she couldn't trust me. She emphasized on how she made it clear that she didn't want me to push her, which I still did.
I tried apologizing to her but she has since refused to listen. She has stopped picking my calls and stopped replying my texts. She said she doesn't want me around her anymore.

The problem now is that I am in love with this girl and I can't stop thinking about her. I know the cliche advice would be to move on and find someone else to love, but the problem is that this seems nearly impossible. I am not someone that easily falls in love. The reason why I fell in love with this girl was as a result of a myriad of qualities she possessed which I don't think it's possible to find in someone else. And she isn't just my romantic partner, she is also my closest friend. Anyone who has a best friend would understand what it means to lose such person. To say that this whole situation has made me depressed would be an understatement. I honestly don't know what else to do.

What's your advice for me?

Xxxx123:


It wasn't a 3some.

Xxxx123:


Honestly, I don't see how I am obligated to reveal this fantasy to you, neither do I see how revealing it to you would make the nature of my predicament clearer to you or anyone who wishes to offer any advice. I think I have revealed every relevant information that applies to this situation.

Dimples129:


What was it?

We need to know in order to full understand if your fvck up is forgive able

Xxxx123:
I have been in a relationship with this amazing girl for quite a while and it's been an awesome and adventurous experience for the both of us. We aren't just a romantic couple, we are also best friends. We understand each other on a deep level, both intellectually and sexually, and we spend a lot of time together. In all my life I have never been in love with anyone before, she is my first true love. Over the course of our relationship, we've expressed our feelings for each other, both in words and in deed, so there is no question mark in that regard.

She always made it clear to me that she doesn't like her emotions being toyed with and she strongly values trust in a relationship. I also value trust, but she seems to prioritize it to a higher degree than I do. There have been times when I violated this principle of trust and commitment, by my actions, and there have been times when she also has, although mine vastly outweighs hers, but we've always resolved our issues and moved on. But few weeks ago, something happened. While we were together having a conversation, she revealed something to me that according to her, she has been afraid and embarrassed to reveal to me. It was about her sexual fantasies. She said she didn't want to tell me about it because she was afraid I'd "push her" because it was also something I liked and I've always made mention of how I wished for her to be interested in it, not knowing that it formed the core of her own sexuality. When she revealed this piece of information to me, I didn't take it as seriously as she wanted me to take it, plus I was partly excited, and I did something that epitomized "pushing her" towards indulging in these fantasies. Something I now regret. After I did what I did, she said she didn't want me anymore in her life because she couldn't trust me. She emphasized on how she made it clear that she didn't want me to push her, which I still did.
I tried apologizing to her but she has since refused to listen. She has stopped picking my calls and stopped replying my texts. She said she doesn't want me around her anymore.

The problem now is that I am in love with this girl and I can't stop thinking about her. I know the cliche advice would be to move on and find someone else to love, but the problem is that this seems nearly impossible. I am not someone that easily falls in love. The reason why I fell in love with this girl was as a result of a myriad of qualities she possessed which I don't think it's possible to find in someone else. And she isn't just my romantic partner, she is also my closest friend. Anyone who has a best friend would understand what it means to lose such person. To say that this whole situation has made me depressed would be an understatement. I honestly don't know what else to do.

What's your advice for me?

Xxxx123:


I am sorry I can't tell you. It's our shared secret, and telling anyone, even though anonymously, feels like a violation of our agreement not to reveal this to anyone.

What you should know however, is that I tried to feed those fantasies and this was always her fear. She was always afraid this fantasy would consume her to the point where she'd not have control over it anymore and she'd always want to indulge it till it became an addiction. According to her, what she wanted was for me to listen and try to understand and take things slow, but I wasn't interested in just wanting to turn her to "myself," obviously for my own interest.

Cc
Gofwane
Thunderlicious

Dimples129:


Honestly, I don't know wtf you're talking about so I can't help you. Good luck with the heartache, it happens to the best of us and we all think we'll never recover from it but we do and life goes on.

Honestly, I don't see how I am obligated to reveal this fantasy to you, neither do I see how revealing it to you would make the nature of my predicament clearer to you or anyone who wishes to offer any advice. I think I have revealed every relevant information that applies to this situation.

What's your advice for me?

I am sorry I can't tell you. It's our shared secret, and telling anyone, even though anonymously, feels like a violation of our agreement not to reveal this to anyone.

What you should know however, is that I tried to feed those fantasies and this was always her fear. She was always afraid this fantasy would consume her to the point where she'd not have control over it anymore and she'd always want to indulge it till it became an addiction. According to her, what she wanted was for me to listen and try to understand and take things slow, but I wasn't interested in just wanting to turn her to "myself," obviously for my own interest.

Cc
Gofwane
Thunderlicious

I am sorry I can't tell you. It's our shared secret, and telling anyone, even though anonymously, feels like a violation of our agreement not to reveal this to anyone.

What you should know however, is that I tried to feed those fantasies and this was always her fear. She was always afraid this fantasy would consume her to the point where she'd not have control over it anymore and she'd always want to indulge it till it became an addiction. According to her, what she wanted was for me to listen and try to understand and take things slow, but I wasn't interested in just wanting to turn her to "myself," obviously for my own interest.

Cc
Gofwane
Thunderlicious

Nma27:
Is it poo eating? Cos some people are weird

It wasn't a 3some.

Thunderlicious:


If you revealed it to us, how would she know you did? If she is following this thread (which I know she's not) then send PM to some of us and then we can deal with this issue in private. Since it could lead to an addiction it is apparent the fantasy is not a 3some. But whatever it is and, like I said before, the solution to your problem will depend on what this "fantasy" entails. If you're still not comfortable revealing it my guess is for you to tell her you have decided to move on with your life just like she has, and then continue to pretend like you have actually moved on without her in your life. Three things may happen:

1. She may be happy with your decision and this means the relationship has finally ended. You may then continue to seek alternative solutions.

2. The whole 'forming' things go clear for her eyes and she go realise say this na reality and she fit lose u. Husbands are very scarce these days, believe me. Unless she is still very young or didn't actually love you as she claimed, she may not want to lose a husband material (I am assuming you are a husband material ).

3. You may be surprised to discover, during the course of your pretence, that you can actually do without her in your life. If this is the case, this could be your escape route. Continue this route and find yourself someone else. Girls are just TOO MANY for you to kill yourself over one. You may think you will not be able to find someone exactly like her. Yes, that is true, but you will definitely find someone better than her. If she is really the best, do you think you would have found her first?

Good luck.