Emmybet:
Happy Sunday peeps! I just created this account for this...
I'm a fresh graduate job hunting and dating a guy who does nothing presently. I don't care if he's buoyant or not, I love him so much and sure he loves me too.
whenever he wants to buy something for me and I know that money can be used to serve a better purpose I'll stop him, but it's seems he's not comfortable with it as he thinks I'm domineering (wanting him to buy my opinion always).
Today after church he took me to an eatery(didn't know where we were going). He asked that I order for fried rice and chicken but I tried making him understand that I don't need those things for now as I have more pressing needs(my hair, a pair of slippers and any skin care product; as I noticed some rashes on my face this morning). He flared up and asked that we leave, we left and I tried making him see reasons but he wouldn't want to. He said I like my voice to be heard always and make him do my biddings and that I'm too calculative. I was just crying and begging him, yet he continued talking. We got a taxi and when we alighted he gave me the money he was supposed to use at the eatery, I pushed him with the money, he didn't say a word to me again till he left for his house.
I love him I don't want to loose him.
What do I do now?

Emmybet:
Happy Sunday peeps! I just created this account for this...
I'm a fresh graduate job hunting and dating a guy who does nothing presently. I don't care if he's buoyant or not, I love him so much and sure he loves me too.
whenever he wants to buy something for me and I know that money can be used to serve a better purpose I'll stop him, but it's seems he's not comfortable with it as he thinks I'm domineering (wanting him to buy my opinion always).
Today after church he took me to an eatery(didn't know where we were going). He asked that I order for fried rice and chicken but I tried making him understand that I don't need those things for now as I have more pressing needs(my hair, a pair of slippers and any skin care product; as I noticed some rashes on my face this morning). He flared up and asked that we leave, we left and I tried making him see reasons but he wouldn't want to. He said I like my voice to be heard always and make him do my biddings and that I'm too calculative. I was just crying and begging him, yet he continued talking. We got a taxi and when we alighted he gave me the money he was supposed to use at the eatery, I pushed him with the money, he didn't say a word to me again till he left for his house.
I love him I don't want to loose him.
What do I do now?

MsRoe:
It's clear that you have good intentions, but allow your boyfriend to do some things for you if he wants to. Especially when you didn't ask, you don't have to worry that he would see as as extravagant. It's condescending to reject all of his offers all the time. If you have to turn down his offers though, say you're not hungry when he offers to take you to an eatery; instead of going there, refusing to order, and talking about how his priorities are misplaced (that you would rather do your hair).

Perspectives:
Your guy has anger issues, self esteem issues and extremely unhappy because he doesn't have a job.

Stop reminding him of how there's no money, be happy together. Happiness is more important than those material things you want. I know there are other things you must have said to hurt him that you didn't mention here.

Take things easy with him. At least till things get better.

MsRoe:
It's clear that you have good intentions, but allow your boyfriend to do some things for you if he wants to. Especially when you didn't ask, you don't have to worry that he would see as as extravagant. It's condescending to reject all of his offers all the time. If you have to turn down his offers though, say you're not hungry when he offers to take you to an eatery; instead of going there, refusing to order, and talking about how his priorities are misplaced (that you would rather do your hair).

Perspectives:
Your guy has anger issues, self esteem issues and extremely unhappy. This might be primarily due to the fact that he doesn't have a job.

Stop reminding him of how there's no money, be happy together. Happiness is more important than those material things you want. I know there are other things you must have said to hurt him that you didn't mention here.

Take things easy with him. At least till things get better.

Perspectives:
Your guy has anger issues, self esteem issues and extremely unhappy because he doesn't have a job.

Stop reminding him of how there's no money, be happy together. Happiness is more important than those material things you want. I know there are other things you must have said to hurt him that you didn't mention here.

Take things easy with him. At least till things get better.

sexybbstar:
As the ftc has said,u have take things easy with him. In my own opinion, he doesn't have anger problem but he's probably not happy that he can't give you everything you want. He wants 5o take care of you more than u could ever imagine but for the fact that whenever he wants to do something for you, he realizes that there are still more pressing issues. The thought of it makes him angry. Just try to be patient and not demand for things he can't afford. All these traits will disappear when wealth sets in.

Emmybet:


I didn't say any other thing. Just that I always tell him "use the money for another thing" whenever he wants to get something I feel is not necessary.

vargasvictory:
Before anything else, I'd like to commend you, You be wifey material, 100 yards

Now to the issue, you have to take it easy, it's just one life. You need to chill out and don't be so pushy on him, everyone needs someone he/she can lean on. Not being a burden, at times all he might want to do is make you feel appreciated, forget about the troubles today with hope of a better future, there's no need for you to keep on reminding him about the tides currently. it's selfish of you to keep things one sided, it's a relationship not a lonesome-ship, hear him out, not everything has to work your way.

Benita27:
Dude doesn't want his ego bruised. Actually, some guys prefer spending the little they have on their girlfriends 'cause they assume it makes them more of a man. You should have a heart to heart talk with him as to why you try stopping him from buying things for you then see his response. Preferably when you know he's calm.

Aderola15:


All these boys and unnecessary dramas sef.... If we spend the money na, they wee call us diggers of gold and if we don't, they wee start saying we think they are broke or not up to the task. Bobos, which way na?


That's how my ex accused me of being too prudent and always acting like mummy...

Emmybet:

Thank you!

MsRoe:
It's clear that you have good intentions, but allow your boyfriend to do some things for you if he wants to. Especially when you didn't ask, you don't have to worry that he would see you as extravagant. It's condescending to reject all of his offers all the time. If you have to turn down his offers though, say you're not hungry when he offers to take you to an eatery; instead of going there, refusing to order, and talking about how his priorities are misplaced (that you would rather do your hair).

As for what I think you should do now: tell him you appreciate what he does, and tries to do for you, and that you will try to seem less controlling to him.

Benita27:
She said she had no idea they were going to an eatery. She has the guy's interest at heart but perhaps he's used to spending on girls that seeing one who isn't demanding makes him uncomfortable.

tochivitus:


gbam u just said my mind exactly and lemme add that u r guy think your being too pushy and as a guy he like being in charge but when u counter his decisions he thinks your trying to tell him what to do always. and finally find time to talk to your spouse talk at learnt, apologies to him and tell him these things with a calm voice, he ain't devil he will see reasons with u

Perspectives:


If there are no other things, then you are good. Have a heart to heart talk with him like someone mentioned, that's when he is calm. Then go with the flow, be happy OK, things will get better eventually and you can buy all those important things

Perspectives:


If there are no other things, then you are good. Have a heart to heart talk with him like someone mentioned, that's when he is calm. Then go with the flow, be happy OK, things will get better eventually and you can buy all those important things

Nma27:
You keep hurting his male ego. Keep quiet next time and let him be the man.. Shikena. Simple

Emmybet:

I will never try to object again.

Nma27:
I'm sure they've talked about d issue before. He probably got a new job or a contract and wanted to break it to her while munching on some chicken wings before d op's over rational talks spoilt his day... Who knows

Benita27:
Dude doesn't want his ego bruised. Actually, some guys prefer spending the little they have on their girlfriends 'cause they assume it makes them more of a man. You should have a heart to heart talk with him as to why you try stopping him from buying things for you then see his response. Preferably when you know he's calm.

Aderola15:


Smart girl. Just let him do his thing and try to keep him in check when he's going overboard with it.

Don't cry again oooo, cry cry baby.

Emmybet:


That's what I've promised to do henceforth.