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My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by ibkgab001: 12:11pm On Jun 17, 2017
Op nothing must happen to your husband .... If he is sick you are in trouble ... If you can't cope with mother and son rappor kindly divorce gently and marry soneone who doesn't love nor care For his mom

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Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by jaxxy(m): 12:13pm On Jun 17, 2017
sweerychick:
did u read the part i said that im cool with guys that are close to their mums. My mans own is just so weird and creepy

There's nothing weird and creepy. Manys guys will say such especially if d dad is late. Is he d only son? U hv to understand his reasons 1st b4 even trying to counter if they actually make sense or weird. Also u being close to d mum will help u guys cos if d mums sees u as as sm1 against her or fighting d affection her son gives her it might be a bigger issue. Atleast he can make decisions without consulting his mum 1st rite?

My guy dated a gal who cudnt make Ny decision without her mums consent cos she wa d only child my guy didn't like it so he quit d relationship so its a choice thing i wud say. Sm other guy wud like d gal dat way also. Cheers
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Tiffbuxas: 12:13pm On Jun 17, 2017
sweerychick:
did u read the part i said that im cool with guys that are close to their mums. My mans own is just so weird and creepy
Maybe you should hear my story.
I'm practically my mom's only child for now, she had me when she was 17, and practically brought me up herself Cuz my dad wasn't ready to do his duties until last year when he started calling me.
While I was in jss3 Dats when my mom took her GCE exam while I was in SS3 she was in 100l pastime, tins Wer really tough, we both graduated the same year, I went for service and she did her MBA, graduated and I went for my MSc, she basically calls me daily, and I always worried abt her. Due to my closeness with her people call me a mommy's boy, Cuz we basically talk abt everything from what I'm buying to relationships, but what people fail to see is that she wouldn't take any decision without consulting me. I won't be principled, determined, smart.. I won't be anything without her.. I owe hugely my success today to her.
So if my woman chooses to compete with her she'll lose, Buh if she appreciates her and understand that in as much as I love my mother I chose her as my bride.
She'll realize that my mother might even love her and appreciate more than I do.

Pls don't lose a good man Cuz he made some exaggerations, accept and appreciate your in-law for her input and she'll love you forever more
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by decub: 12:14pm On Jun 17, 2017
sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..
I was reading other comments until I got to @thorpido whom I think has solved your puzzle. If he's the man he should be by taking his decisions without his mum influencing it, then that's cool but if he's the mummy's boy that is still controlled by the mum like a child, then watch cos his mum will run your family for you!

1 Like

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:14pm On Jun 17, 2017
Infact, that guy's comment is irritating. The number of likes it garnered is quite revelatory of the number of sick, abnormal people walking around.

rainylad:



...rubbish comment..

...It is one thing to be close to your mum,but another to be a lapdog,mummy's boy with no brains of your own..This is a recipe for disaster in marriage.

....We all have mothers we love to death,but matured adults should learn to draw the lines and boundaries when one gets married..

...otherwiise freaking stay single and leave marrriage for matured adults with their brains screwed right..simple!

3 Likes

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:14pm On Jun 17, 2017
Masquerade7:
I broke up with two ladies simply because my mum always wants to know my whereabout anytime, and they seemed not comfortable with that. I had no option but to kick their ass. They all ended up calling me mama's boy. That I should I grow. Who cares

If you're over 21, you may be sick and not know it.

If you have been fortunate enough to make something out of your life far away from your comfort zone, you may be having these unreasonable mentality.

3 Likes

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Tiffbuxas: 12:15pm On Jun 17, 2017
GhettoG1:
Have a son first nd u gonna understand, i swear if a girl question about my mum in a slight rude way or she's asking too much then even if it's hour's to our wedding I'm calling it quit. Shikena
lol guy u harsh o... some ladies don't understand the sacrifices some mother have made to get their kids to where they are now... No reasonable son will abandon or neglect such mothers for a second
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Martin0(m): 12:17pm On Jun 17, 2017
saydfact:


Fisrt, You would be a mum on day and if you find yourself in this situation as a mum, you wld appreciate it..

However, rather than quit or think about quitting, start loving the mum equally as well, in no time you wld have a fun hand with kids messing up your living room.. lol

over to Martin0 for his advice....

sure you have to love his mum equally like take his mum as more serious as u do you ur man,you saying or probably it rolling through your mind is not a gud reason.stick to her and equally love her...remember marriage is not for you and ur man alone,marriage is the bound btw two person's families,relations,sisters,brother's mother's and father's so it a task,if one get's missing it might likely be a problem,so you need to put his mum into that same bound that why you have to love her equally...
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by DonBobes(m): 12:17pm On Jun 17, 2017
sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..

Truth dey say is bitter but if u are still single oh girl run because u are still not married because when una marry dat is all. She will b in charge of ur home

2 Likes

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:17pm On Jun 17, 2017
Touché! You spoke my mind.

NairaSand:


If you're over 21, you may be sick and not know it.

If you have been fortunate enough to make something out of your life far away from your comfort zone, you may be having these unreasonable mentality.

1 Like

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by dreezybines: 12:18pm On Jun 17, 2017
Benita27:
Pastor Lanre Oluseye...House On The Rock, Port Harcourt Branch.

Kk... Is that the only branch available... I stay in lag
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by luckysparks(m): 12:19pm On Jun 17, 2017
Thread carefully with your man and also study the behaviour of his mum,if she is the controlling and pokenosing type,my dear quit the affair .

2 Likes

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by solelymade: 12:21pm On Jun 17, 2017
Ziinno:
It's only weird to you because you probably grew up in a family where there isn't enough family bonding.

My man is very Family oriented. He's the guy that would go overboard for his sister, attend all family events and give up his last dime for them.
I on the other hand, have a brother I haven't seen in years even though we live in the same town and a sister I don't speak to and probably never will until forever. I've missed more family events than anyone and I am genuinely indifferent about them.

So imagine how weird it was for me to see the bond among my man's siblings when I first met him, it took a while but I eventually accepted it.

Dear, I love your comment so much. It shows how much we can grow in love if we last appreciate maturity.

In the Op's post, the two situations she cited are trivial issues. Any human being let alone a son should attend physically to a sick person/mother if time and space permits. Excessive calling, every hour is definitely an exaggeration and the following mama to d grave too is also. She hasn't said the man denies her of any of the twos or others.
Interestingly, she said the mother said the finance shld remain at work, that her illness isn't serious. That's a pointer to mutual interest relationship healthy for both mother and son as against a parasitic one. I doubt the mama's boy label seriously except...
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Liverpoolfc(m): 12:21pm On Jun 17, 2017
NairaSand:


So attached that you will die if your mum dies?

Let's stop beating around the bush.

He wouldn't die. He said that to show how much he love his mum.

1 Like

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by robosky02(m): 12:22pm On Jun 17, 2017
Oyindidi:
pray the mother love you, if not you are in for a loooooooooooong thing. Relationship with guys like this doesn't last.

They give excuse like.. my mom said I should not have erection for one weekgrin sadly you will be at the receiving end


hmmmm

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:22pm On Jun 17, 2017
Parents no matter how close to their children shouldn't interface in their marriage.

You'd see the signs when dating.

Live with it or run if you can't deal.

A lot of adults on this thread are actually big babies. Quite unfortunate.

2 Likes

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by ZAWs: 12:23pm On Jun 17, 2017
All these substandard adulterated gold diggers that doesn't know the value of a mother;
Don't worry you'll have a son and you'll definitely understand.
I didn't bothered reading the entire post cus we know your type.
But If i were your husband to be, even at the altar and you talk Ill about my mum; that wedding is COMPLETELY OVER!!
Nonsense
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by WHALEY7(m): 12:24pm On Jun 17, 2017
Baba chill....he never reach dis one. Haba

If u are not cool with it,

U ar indeed egocentric,

Nonsense,

No lady can take my mother's place, if u no like am, get the furk off,
Nonsense,
Naso Evans love Lady so tey she betray am,
Which person mama go do like dat to her son?


Annoying self centered ladies everywhere..

Mtchew[/quote]
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:25pm On Jun 17, 2017
Liverpoolfc:
He wouldn't die. He said that to show how much he love his mum.

Says who?

A man that attached to his mom will die psychologically or even worse be or remain broken If anything happens to the mom. I can't deal.

1 Like

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:26pm On Jun 17, 2017
Go and fork her then. Silly immature fool.

The woman who would marry you would be unfortunate to do so. May God not let a good woman have the misfortune of coming across a disturbed man like you. Ewww.

Liverpoolfc:
To whom do you want him to be attached to if not him mum? My wife can't even compete attachment level with my mum not to talk of ordinary girl friend like you. Then day you compete attachment level the day you start to fail. My mum is my hero

4 Likes

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by unbeatablerosak(f): 12:26pm On Jun 17, 2017
sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..
You never can tell what his mum went tru, to get ur man where he is today. That made him say that. Some men are like that. But for him to say he will die with his mum, is a NO for me. Trade carefully my dear. Marriage is not boyfriend and girlfriend stuff. Life time business.
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by DonBobes(m): 12:28pm On Jun 17, 2017
decub:

I was reading other comments until I got to @thorpido whom I think has solved your puzzle. If he's the man he should be by taking his decisions without his mum influencing it, then that's cool but if he's the mummy's boy that is still controlled by the mum like a child, then watch cos his mum will run your family for you!
God bless u
Just like my mother trying to control my life against my wife at d moment. Na God go help us finish d fight. I love her but it as limits because she is my mum. My wife is my new family now. So I don't care about dat.

2 Likes

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by rainylad(f): 12:28pm On Jun 17, 2017
Nazeren:
Infact, that guy's comment is irritating. The number of likes it garnered is quite revelatory of the number of sick, abnormal people walking around.




..The number of insane folks in Nigeria are increasing by the day,so no surprises.

1 Like

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by enigmaticlion: 12:29pm On Jun 17, 2017
You need help and re-orientation. You ladies think marrying a grown man will make him forget his Mom?
Most of you usually wish the mother of your fiance to be to have been dead before you met him. Now turn the tables around and imagine of you were that mother and your fiance is your son. Nigerians ladies are naturally I'll mannered and lazy domestically , hence they want absolute and total control.
sweerychick:
Good evening viewers! i have this issue has been bothering me, and i dont know if i can cope with it anymore particularly now we are making plans to settle down after my NYSC.

My man is too attached to his mum almost like an addiction. at first i was cool with it because his dad is late and i like guys that are close to their mums, but my man own is creepy and freaking me out. he calls his mum almost every hour, morning, afternoon, evening and even midnight calls.

One day his mum complained of headache, he almost left his office just to buy his mum drugs despite his mum telling him it's not serious, when i tried confronting him about this he told me that his mum is his soul and if his mum dies he would die along with her too, with all seriousness he told me this.

I've been very uncomfortable since that statement from him and it's making me have a rethink whether i can cope with him as a spouse.. please advice me..
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by ImaIma1(f): 12:29pm On Jun 17, 2017
Tiffbuxas:
Babe I wish you well o... I pray u don't av unnecessary issues with ur in laws due to your insecurities

My mum inlaw and I are cool. My hubby doesn't even know when i call her. We even gossip about him sometimes. His dad is late. Him and his mum talk almost everyday and it doesn't bother me. They both understand what marriage is about and my mum inlaw does not interfer on our matters. He hardly discusses our issues with her just like i dont report or discuss our issues with my family. They are all 3rd parties.
There is no power tussle because he is very mature and wise about the situation.
Maybe it is a tribe thing. Most women i have seen from our tribe respect their sons and son's wives and try to do things to make their lives simple not complicated. They train their sons and leave them to be their own men. It is the same 9months that they carried the sons for. They hardly ever interfer in your choice of a wife. You become one of their daughters instead of an outsider that they keep trying to frustrate.

So i dont understand all these "my mum is my life" "nobody can separate us". Yes love your mum no doubt but you aint kids no more. I dont even like clingy children. Grow up and live your life. I can only guide and pray not control.

3 Likes

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by saxyminia: 12:30pm On Jun 17, 2017
its very simple try n ve a son n den u mistakenly hear his wife to be don't lyk d fact dt he is close or too close to u den u cn advice ursef on ds subject mata.....girls self....some would say dey prefer tp marry a guy who's mom is dead ure gonna be a mom some day n someone wud wish u dead as well...
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:30pm On Jun 17, 2017
obataokenwa:
I didn't read either where you said the closeness to his mum affect you guys relationship. My mum once told me "If your wife die, you can remarry... but if your mum dies, she can never be replaced". Your own type of jealousy is a possessive one(gumbody).

Your mom is already educating you why she has to mean more to you than your wife. grin grin Already telling you life goes on if your wife dies. shocked

I pity the direction your life is headed. cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by soflygerian(m): 12:30pm On Jun 17, 2017
He's just your fiance, so technically ur not yet married so he's still moma's buoy... The ''i will die part'' jst shows his closeness to moma. I bet you he's not gonna die not when ur his new mummy... I shldnt be giving u advice on hw to tease ur man to open up... Be his friend n get details since u wanna knw.. Inspector sweerychick
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by enigmaticlion: 12:31pm On Jun 17, 2017
The lady needs help and re-orientation. Naija ladies think marrying a grown man will make him forget his Mom?
Most of them usually wish the mother of their fiance to be to have been dead before they met him. Now turn the tables around and imagine of they were that mother and their fiance is her son. Nigerians ladies are naturally I'll mannered and lazy domestically , hence they want absolute and total control.
Afam4eva:
Being addicted to one's mom is not bad. However, the prospective wife of a man that possesses such behavioral traits needs to decide what is important for her. If him being attached to his mother is a problem for you, then please leave him and find somebody else. Don't try to change him cos it won't work.

Personally, i would love people who love people.
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Lifeislife: 12:31pm On Jun 17, 2017
IdeyFindWife:
Losing his dad need not turn him into some vegetable-like mummy's boy, doing that is his own choice. He is overcompensating and you need not be the victim.

You need to embrace the possibility that his calling mom every other hour might make her a major factor in his, and your, decision-making dynamics for a long time to come? Hence, are you gonna be comfortable with knowing that it was 'mom' who practically handpicked the sexy loungerie he got you last Valentine OR that he discusses certain embarrassing intimacies of your lovelife with her? Wake up!!

Is he his own man? Does he own his own mind, faults, choices and victories? His plan for living, how much of mom's input is in that? You need to know because once you marry him. His reality becomes partly yours. So, if he is see in life through fragmented lenses, the sight might affect your viewpoint too.

Get qualified and strategic counseling and put your foot down in that relationship. Don't just marry that guy like that. Its normal, in fact, very cool to be close-to-mom but if you find out that he is on some arrested-development trip, fire his arss!


Tis guy u never still see wife up till now make u change ur moniker?
Re: My Man Is Too Attached To His Mum, Advice Needed by Nobody: 12:31pm On Jun 17, 2017
dreezybines:


Kk... Is that the only branch available... I stay in lag
The main branch is in Lag na. Pastor Paul Adefarasin.

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