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Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) - Romance - Nairaland

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Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 1:25pm On Jul 18, 2017
Is there a true victim in an abusive relationship ?

Ladies often claim the victim in most abusive relationships. Is that claim justified?

The story of Tonto Dike and Mercy Aigbe comes to mind, they claimed that were both brutally beaten by their respective husbands several times but refuse to come forward sooner for various reasons.
On the contrary, the husbands claimed that their wives are just as abusive. They claimed that their wives were cheating and rude to them all the while in their respective relationships.

Therefore, just like most abusive relationship there was two sides to the story. Nonetheless, many people were straight to pick sides, forgetting to ask the real question. Is there any true victim in an abusive relationship?
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 1:36pm On Jul 18, 2017
What do you suggest we call thone nursing red eyes and swollen faces? angry

1 Like

Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 1:39pm On Jul 18, 2017
Muafrika2:
What do you suggest we call thone nursing red eyes and swollen faces? angry
that is a subject for debate
There is physical scares and there is emotional scare smiley
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 1:41pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
that is a subject for debate
There is physical scares and there is emotional scare smiley
angry
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 2:01pm On Jul 18, 2017
Muafrika2:

angry
grin you can say what is on your mind
I wish to learn
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 4:08pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
grin you can say what is on your mind
I wish to learn
You can say that there may be more than one victim. But saying there is no victim? undecided

Some people get thoroughly beaten up just for breathing.

Did you know most murders arise from domestic violence?
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Blackhawk03(f): 4:15pm On Jul 18, 2017
angry angry angry
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 4:43pm On Jul 18, 2017
Muafrika2:

You can say that there may be more than one victim. But saying there is no victim? undecided

Some people get thoroughly beaten up just for breathing.

Did you know most murders arise from domestic violence?
I am not justify the beating
Besides why wait to be killed, why not just leave the relationship
What I realize is that many of those ladies are also playing significant role in the abuse in the relationship
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 4:43pm On Jul 18, 2017
Blackhawk03:
angry angry angry
embarassed use esu ni ooo
I just created the thread to provoke reactions embarassed
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 4:43pm On Jul 18, 2017
Blackhawk03:
angry angry angry
embarassed ise esu ni ooo
I just created the thread to provoke reactions embarassed
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Blackhawk03(f): 4:48pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
embarassed ise esu ni ooo
I just created the thread to provoke reactions embarassed

Ainise lo n worry e. Wa ba mi sa ewa. cheesy angry
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 4:51pm On Jul 18, 2017
Blackhawk03:


Ainise lo n worry e. Wa ba mi sa ewa. cheesy angry
grin grin
Bawo ni jare ?
You are no longer than active on nairaland
Same thing goes for tahrah
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 4:54pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
I am not justify the beating
Besides why wait to be killed, why not just leave the relationship
What I realize is that many of those ladies are also playing significant role in the abuse in the relationship
@bold

How?

Bear in mind, some men are getting beaten up too.
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Blackhawk03(f): 4:55pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
grin grin
Bawo ni jare ?
You are no longer than active on nairaland
Same thing goes for tahrah

LOL.

Na my mama find work for me ooo angry angry grin

And here is kinda boring, na you and optional dey give us lil drama. tongue
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:00pm On Jul 18, 2017
Muafrika2:

@bold

How?
I know that if the ladies in question felt for a seconds that they were been beaten without any justification ( not that I support the beating of women)
They will have raised the alarm sooner, but because the ladies knew that they are also hurting their husband somehow
They stay in the relationship until the beating they are receiving outwits the emotional black mail they give to their husband before coming out
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Lionessza(f): 5:00pm On Jul 18, 2017
So because a few women have lied about domestic abuse , now suddenly we must excuse or question it's existence in our societies?. Lol funny guy. There are still men out there who take out their frustrations on not only their women but their kids too. Many women get killed by their men more than strangers the world over, and you're asking what ?

1 Like

Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:01pm On Jul 18, 2017
Blackhawk03:


LOL.

Na my mama find work for me ooo angry angry grin

And here is kinda boring, na you and optional dey give us lil drama. tongue
grin grin
Keep enjoying jare
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:03pm On Jul 18, 2017
Lionessza:
So because a few women have lied about domestic abuse , now suddenly we must excuse or question it's existence in our societies?. Lol funny guy. There are still men out there who take out their frustrations on not only their women but their kids too. Many women get killed by their men more than strangers the world over, and you're asking what ?
perhaps if the kids are involved in the domestic abuse directly or emotionally I can agree they are thr true victims
Only the kids grin
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Lionessza(f): 5:11pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
perhaps if the kids are involved in the domestic abuse directly or emotionally I can agree they are thr true victims
Only the kids grin


I'm suprised you didn't go as low as accusing the kids of causing his " stress" or being too much of a " burden " to him or even better reminding him of their mother with their attitudes grin.

Dude did you beat someone up recently? And now looking for some way to justify it

Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:13pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
grin grin Bawo ni jare ? You are no longer than active on nairaland Same thing goes for tahra
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:16pm On Jul 18, 2017
Lionessza:



I'm suprised you didn't go as low as accusing the kids of causing his " stress" or being too much of a " burden " to him or even better reminding him of their mother with their attitudes grin.

Dude did you beat someone up recently? And now looking for some way to justify it
me I can't hurt s fly grin
Plus I am not married yet
But just created the topic to provoke reactions, so that we could all learn
I am already thinking about a new topic as I type this

Title: what is relationship without sex (for born again lovers)
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:18pm On Jul 18, 2017
Tahrah:
are you still on nairaland shocked
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:30pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
are you still on nairaland shocked
No.
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Lionessza(f): 5:30pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
me I can't hurt s fly grin
Plus I am not married yet
But just created the topic to provoke reactions, so that we could all learn
I am already thinking about a new topic as I type this

Title: what is relationship without sex (for born again lovers)



Lol you are a psycho then.
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:32pm On Jul 18, 2017
Lionessza:



Lol you are a psycho then.
grin grin
How is your day so far ?
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:32pm On Jul 18, 2017
Tahrah:
No.
why embarassed
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Lionessza(f): 5:33pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
grin grin
How is your day so far ?

It's okay, almost coming to an end. How's yours?
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:35pm On Jul 18, 2017
Lionessza:


It's okay, almost coming to an end. How's yours?
same grin
But how is zarzar your friend
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Lionessza(f): 5:37pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
same grin
But how is zarzar your friend


I don't know, she dissappeard without a trace, maybe someone here used jazz on her grin
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:39pm On Jul 18, 2017
Lionessza:



I don't know, she dissappeard without a trace, maybe someone here used jazz on her grin

But aren't you friends in real life
Is Jo'burg that big to trace each other grin
Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:45pm On Jul 18, 2017
this op is a potential wife panel beater.


do you know how many emotional abuse soldiers abuse people daily!!!? why don't you go and panel beat them.!?

Guy there is no excuse for domestic violence wether from man or woman.

I know you want someone to take sides with you but lai lai

If your wife is abusive then divorce her instead of beating her and breaking her leg because she's a woman. most of these weak men can't kill snake sef but will be forming bash Ali on their wives.

3 Likes

Re: Are there Victims In an Abusive Relationship ( the case study of tonto dike) by Nobody: 5:45pm On Jul 18, 2017
sunshineG:
I know that if the ladies in question felt for a seconds that they were been beaten without any justification ( not that I support the beating of women)
They will have raised the alarm sooner, but because the ladies knew that they are also hurting their husband somehow
They stay in the relationship until the beating they are receiving outwits the emotional black mail they give to their husband before coming out
How would you justify the beating that the woman in the following video gets? undecided


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clt8n-UvBSQ

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