Nerdg:


I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?

she loves u to see u stay healthy ...run for ur life ,she might hav contacted a deadly sexually Transmitted Infection

Lexusgs430:



You got a girl pregnant, that aborted it. And she had a stillbirth.
The main question is, while depriving you of sex. Was she having with another?
And if she wasn't, she probably needs counselling or therapy, because of her traumatised still birth experience......

Good point there about needing counseling and therapy. That is another way to look at the situation. Maybe she was refusing to have sex with OP because of her sad experience with the stillbirth. If that is the case, and she was not having sex with someone else while refusing to have with OP, then I will suggest the OP should go ahead and marry since he loves her.

AntiWailer:
Leave her alone.

You are lucky she told you.

I met a wonderful sister of God back then. We were talking about secrets and relationship.

She told me it is not wise for a lady to tell a guy any past.

That she has lost a lot of potential suitors cos of her body count that is over 150. (Yes u heard me right) she wrote their names.

She is married now. The guy she married she told me she lied to him that she was raped twice and that was all.

And you call her "a wonderful sister of God"? Wonderful.

poseidon12:


Good point there about needing counseling and therapy. That is another way to look at the situation. Maybe she was refusing to have sex with OP because of her sad experience with the stillbirth. If that is the case, and she was not having sex with someone else while refusing to have with OP, then I will suggest the OP should go ahead and marry since he loves her.

True, and only on that ground.

Rosarie:
from my observation. I have been married 5years.she never genuinely loved you.dunno y girls have a thing for loving a guy who don't love them much and treat the one who loves them like thrash.she never loved you.she has always had you as a second option.now that is in the past.now she knows YOU are now her future hubby.she is now trying to adjust.that is why she opened up a secret like that to u.for me when I met my hubby he loved me far more than I did.and with time I began to fall in love with him and here we are.genuinely happy even with the ups and down.my bro go ahead.to see a real wife material is difficult now.let the past bury itself.spin her for more if there is more and go ahead.

The first lady that made sense here.

darlenese:
I know the Op pain, she has given her condo to a school boyfriend and a man she got pregnant for, how come she didn't allow the Op to have a taste?

when it comes to the Op it becomes a no-sex relationship but it involves other men, she allows them enjoy her. Pls Op dnt be in a rush to get married to her , do some more investigation, try and introduce yourself to her family so she can freely spend more time with u.

That is the issue. You got it right, unlike these other ladies that were criticizing the OP.

I will forward you a list of mental institutions. Happy recovery

okwyee:

It's clear you're the lunatic here is dear. My little advice for you, stop bitching around!
peace!

Sterope:
What is 'exposing' about having a stillbirth?

You are the one to judge. You are a bloody hypocrite! I wouldn't normally say this but most people would consider you more morally bankrupt than a person who chose to keep a baby. You aborted a baby for goodness sake. You have no standing to feel somehow or think anyhow of someone who chose to keep a baby.

And if it is sex that makes you think that she is exposed, you have personal issues you really need to deal with. You have no moral high ground to an opinion on this issue. Walk away if you can't take it. She definitely doesn't deserve to be subjected to your 'thoughts'.

what are you saying? she denied op sex hence leading to their initial breakup and later she got pregnant even though she didn't abort it still through this same sex issue that firstly led to there breakup.I think the op is just the best suitor amongst those wobbling around her with seriousness.

Sterope:
She may not have been ready initially. You were so desperate that you slept with another because of it, that is a red flag to refuse you many times over. However it does sound suspicious for her to refuse you again especially if she was sexually active in a preceding relationship before this one but then it is a bit understandable given your history.


Aren't you a Christian? Isn't premarital sex a sin?. Keep your body holy for God. If you want sex, marry her.

You have just said the truth

Some guys sef... What about you that aborted for someone... Chai

poseidon12:


And you call her "a wonderful sister of God"? Wonderful.

They there. No go investigate ur boo.

cococandy:
How exactly do you imagine yourself better than her or in a position to judge her?
Please explain your thought process to me.

She didn't even have an abortion. She had a still birth. so you're judging her for having had sex before she met you meanwhile you've been a hoe about town? Explain yourself sir.

You are being hash him my sister. I'm not supporting him but this is someohow betrayal of trust from the Lady in question. Like the Op, i will expect the laxy to be someone that have been calibate for long time since she have be denying me of sex not someone who has been giving it to other two diffrent guyz to the extent of getting pregnant while denying me the apple all the time we have known each other.
What a pretender. I just want to believe she testing the ops faith otherwise she cant be trusted.

I only doubt if she loves you enough.
When you are in love with someone, your defenses break down.

She didn't find you worthy enough to give in to your sexual request then while she was giving it to others.
If they didn't fail her would she had ever even considered you?

Lastly, are you kidding me? So she wouldn't have opened up if you didn't tell her yours?

It's your call.

Op most of the post you have received so far, or maybe the most I have seen are from novice or just those Holier than thou brethrens who want to judge you for one mistake that you regret till this day, now they ignorantly want to use that to place you side by side with a runs girl, guy this is the simple truth in as much as it is a bitter one I think I should let you know;

1. That girl does not love you, she does not even have feeling for you
2. She only accepted your proposal because you are comfortable now
3. She did not reveal that secret to you because she loves you
4. She revealed it to you because you are about to get the biggest shock of ur life
5. When you drink from the bucket you presumed a cup chaff will fall from your eyes, then she will claim it is because of the still birth
6. She was sexing everyone but did not want to sex you, from friend zone to marriage
7. Get ready to be a wife beater or live with a cheating wife, you think yours will be different
8. From your post you are not into girls and don't know their ways, thats why you loved one girl 3 times in one life time
9. She knows this about you and decides to play you not as a fool but a pun to get a bigger bait maybe your colleagues or boss
10. I hope you realize this girl has not yet served and you are going through all this, don't let her meet your posh friends
11. When she goes to camp you will father another mans child, because you were afraid to be a man, when you ought to
12. I could go on and on but Let me stop here cause I might just be hurting you, let her go, you deserve better you are a good man with a good heart, bad girls always find a way to end up with the good guys that's what is happening to you right now, leggo so you don't get arrested for man slaughter or wife battery in future.

And Nerdg why would you want to marry a girl you have not slept with don't you know sex is key to any successful marriage, this rule does not apply to virgins. If she is not a virgin no excuses, just hit it or skip it.

You will go far in life with the kind of Brain u have. You are matured I respect.

madridguy:
From your write up I think she's trying to test you and see how you will react to her dark side too. She might as well be hurt to hear the dark side of you and maybe she cooked something up to see your reaction too.

My observation though.

afonjadie:
Op most of the post you have received so far, or maybe the most I have seen are from novice or just those Holier than thou brethrens who want to judge you for one mistake that you regret till this day, now they ignorantly want to use that to place you side by side with a runs girl, guy this is the simple truth in as much as it is a bitter one I think I should let you know;

1. That girl does not love you, she does not even have feeling for you
2. She only accepted your proposal because you are comfortable now
3. She did not reveal that secret to you because she loves you
4. She revealed it to you because you are about to get the biggest shock of ur life
5. When you drink from the bucket you presumed a cup chaff will fall from your eyes, then she will claim it is because of the still birth
6. She was sexing everyone but did not want to sex you, from friend zone to marriage
7. Get ready to be a wife beater or live with a cheating wife, you think yours will be different
8. From your post you are not into girls and don't know their ways, thats why you loved one girl 3 times in one life time
9. She knows this about you and decides to play you not as a fool but a pun to get a bigger bait maybe your colleagues or boss
10. I hope you realize this girl has not yet served and you are going through all this, don't let her meet your posh friends
11. When she goes to camp you will father another mans child, because you were afraid to be a man, when you ought to
12. I could go on and on but Let me stop here cause I might just be hurting you, let her go, you deserve better you are a good man with a good heart, bad girls always find a way to end up with the good guys that's what is happening to you right now, leggo so you don't get arrested for man slaughter or wife battery in future.

And Nerdg why would you want to marry a girl you have not slept with don't you know sex is key to any successful marriage, this rule does not apply to virgins. If she is not a virgin no excuses, just hit it or skip it.

Very blunt. Straight to the point.

If you're making excuses for him, then do same for her too. 15 years old and insisting on sex in a relationship? Really ?

CoCoLav:


Do you guys realize that OP was probably 15 years old when he slept with the so called relative? 15 years is the age where most boys will sleep with anything in skirts because of their raging hormones. He had not obtained the level of maturity he has now so I won't even hold that against him.

I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE. MY BROTHER RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN. no say I no warn you o.

all the. gals here. are and. some guys are supporting your gf

me i cant marry such gal reason
all those times she was with u, u were just her side man, she thought she had better option so she could not give u her ultimate i.e sex

now she has no option, but she fear if she give u sex you might go

she told her story cos you told yours and she thought yours was darker...

my reason though

Nerdg:


Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?

MAY YOU NOT BE A FOOL FOREVER. Think deep!!!! Think well. You are the last available option. From all INDICATIONS.

Op,

Marry a woman who you love, and who loves and trust you enough to discuss everything with you.

And since she trusted you enough to tell you, that's a good sign to build on...cos that's how they will raise your kids around you.

I tell you this cos virtually every woman you meet has a dark side...and they will never tell you but paint a picture they want you to see especially if they smell marriage proposal.

Try not be caught in marriage with with people, cos the trauma comes in different shades and never end.

She is second hand still presenting herself as new. Leave her or live in cage!

Everyone has a dark side of life. Me, u everyone she is a darling to even tell u that shows that she really loves you

oshaosha2014:
You girls know how to take the demented pussy back to the full who will always accept you back even though he didn't take part in doing the damage.

Well you guys should do yourselves a favor and stick to the demented puccis you destroyed .
The other lady that he made to have an abortion for him, who will marry that one? He's here looking for angel Mary but meanwhile he's caused another girl somewhere pain like that.

If he had married one of the demented puccies he destroyed, we won't be here having this silly conversation.

Serves him right. Serves all of you right.
I hope one of you dimwits on this thread will end up with the other lady that had an abortion for the OP. That way you will all reap the rewards of uncontrolled male promiscuity that you refuse to condemn.

cococandy:

Well you guys should do yourselves a favor and stick to the demented puccis you destroyed .
The other lady that he made to have an abortion for him, who will marry that one? He's here looking for angel Mary but meanwhile he's caused another girl somewhere pain like that.

If he had married one of the demented puccies he destroyed, we won't be here having this silly conversation.

Serves him right. Serves all of you right.
I hope one of you dimwits on this thread will end up with the other lady that had an abortion for the OP. That way you will all reap the rewards of uncontrolled male promiscuity that you refuse to condemn.

This one Is suffering from mental illness called man-hating. Better take care o! The guys issue Is that why was she having sex with others but not with him even till today? Does it mean she doesn't find him sexually appealing? Is it that she does not see him as worth it? These are questions which should determine any marriage not that he goes into the marriage and then the girl starts looking out because she doesn't like him

if I decide to slap the guy wey post this staff now ehn... he go say I no get respect.
Using yourself as a reference frame, can you tell me what she did wrong that you didn't do? infact you have no moral jurisdiction to judge her. pls give me her number let me tell her not to marry you that you're a bad person!

MrCork:




.. Oyin..didi is a known trouble maker on nairaland who refuses to change her color to lightskin....she suffffarrrin from inferrrrity complex ....she been on nairaland for 12 years(true story)

You are a troublemaker

MrCork:


..stop harrrrrasisment...stop harrrrrsin.
R.osalieene...she prettier..she's lightskin an she not on yorrr level!!(no oofeense)

Troll

Maduawuchukwu:
0

Yes his main problem is why she slept with them and not with him and that is a legitimate problem. The issue is "what does that mean?" Is is that she is not attracted to him or what? That question is very key to a happy marriage. They have dated on three occasions; the first time maybe she was a virgin, the second time she was in Uni and had likely started having sex, the third time she was a confirmed non-virgin who even wanted to settle down with a man who impregnated her and through all these episodes she did not give him sex! Meanwhile the guy is footing her bills. This is a very huge red flag. She is not giving you sex meaning that she might not be attracted to you but you are footing her bills meaning she is gaining from you. The most logical conclusion here is that she is keeping him around for the benefits she gets. This thing happened to my friend so I know what I am talking about. Most likely she treats him shabbily too.

Where did he say he was footing her bills.
What benefits has she gotten from him from the oops narration
Why do you think she must give him sex
How are you sure she didn't regret sex she had with other guys far later and then decided no sex policy was what was best for her


Bros understand one thing she reserves the right to say no to anyman she is not married to concerning the issue of sex at any given time whether virgin or not.

This case is peculiar she was not cheating on him with other guys, there was a time frame of years in in this story so he has got no case.

Sex is the origin of the downfall of most guys so I am not surprised the way everybody is hammering on sex sex sex.

NoToPile:


Where did he say he was footing her bills.
What benefits has she gotten from him from the oops narration
Why do you think she must give him sex
How are you sure she didn't regret sex she had with other guys far later and then decided no sex policy was what was best for her


Bros understand one thing she reserves the right to say no to anyman she is not married to concerning the issue of sex at any given time whether virgin or not.

This case is peculiar she was not cheating on him with other guys, there was a time frame of years in in this story so he has got no case.

Sex is the origin of the downfall of most guys so I am not surprised the way everybody is hammering on sex sex sex.

Go back and read his write-up. He said clearly there that he foots her bills.
She does not owe her Fiance sex but that same sex she was giving to guys who have not yet proposed to her; Guy come on, if a girl likes you most especially if she is not a vrgin, she will give in for you. That is the way the real life works.
Lastly, saying that maybe she decided not to have sex again as the reason she refuses to give him sex is a very weak assumption. He dated her thrice but it is only when they are together that she has principles as regards sex? Wow! You can believe anything you want to believe in life but always go for the side that is more plausible.

okwyee:


The thing is you girls thinks when you have sex with bf you're doing them a favour when it clearly isn't!
what's the essence of insisting that she don't want sex when somebody have been giving her front and back?

dont mind her. she is not even clear towards him, she should simply tell him she doesnt like him for some reasons/ the guy too,he is the one taking sex to be important in a relationship . see how many times he stressed on it. Naija girls think sex is all a guy needs, this girl na mumu sef.

Nma27:
hush... Y use the present tense like she's cheating on him? I'm sure it happened before she met op. Hypocrite

I know you're out here to support a fellow sister! Calling me hypocrite won't drive home your point! If really you want to make a correction, you're welcome, however desist from doing that from the place of anger.