Please ask if she can still give birth? And probably go for a fertility test.

imustsaymymindo:


Testing someone with this sort of thing is too expensive o.

one thing dey fail to realize is that were all different people our reactions are always. Them go just dey do anyhow..

if you love her enough marry her! we've all sined at one point or the other! i and my wify shear almst the same past! we've but sined who am i to judge her infact thats the more reason i love her. so man up n do the needful

You see my fear about cheating?

Karma might just decide to pay you in your own coins if not more,just as it has dawned on the OP now





Do whatever your heart decides but be prepared to stomach whatever consequence(s) that comes with it!

Firstly, i believe the devil u know is better than the angel u don't know moreover u are angry because he didnt allow u to have sex but still he had with other guys, people change but am sure if u didnt leave her because of your sexual excapades she wouldnt have messed up but as they say ALL SINNER HAS A FUTURE AND ALL SAINT HAS A PAST as far as she has turned a new page and she has the quality u want in a woman, i think u should forgive her and move on with her because she could even tell u about her past it means she want u 2 accept her 4 who she is so my brother embrace her and start a new chapter

Chaiyyyyy! Babe I so like your way of reasoning and how u express em in English. I want to learn from you.

Sterope:
What is 'exposing' about having a stillbirth?

You are the one to judge. You are a bloody hypocrite! I wouldn't normally say this but most people would consider you more morally bankrupt than a person who chose to keep a baby. You aborted a baby for goodness sake. You have no standing to feel somehow or think anyhow of someone who chose to keep a baby.

And if it is sex that makes you think that she is exposed, you have personal issues you really need to deal with. You have no moral high ground to an opinion on this issue. Walk away if you can't take it. She definitely doesn't deserve to be subjected to your 'thoughts'.

moneyhungry:

absolute hogwash.

Kini omode re mo? sha koshi lo jareh...

Dcholeric:
I swear so many women here are dullards ...

I tell u. Which kind excuse be say she doesn't trust you? She doesn't want to repeat her past mistakes? With person wey be ur fiance.
The girl is likely not feeling the guy.

delishpot:


Yeah one man's meat bro. You have a right to your opinion.

Exactly. I can tolerate anything in a marriage or relationship but never ever cheat and let me find out before you tell me.

Nerdg:


Not 2 weeks ago. I told the story two weeks ago. Thanks anyway

Well, let her explain to you why she has been denying you sex all this while , meanwhile, she was dating other people and had sex with them. Was it because you were not working then ? Try to find out why and get back to me through a DM. Don't just marry because of love and don't take advice from those kids on naira land here ,who do not know what is called a home. Every action has interpretation. Welsh.

freshvine:


Simple comprehension is elusive to you only to be passing sentimental judgement upadan.

The guy confusion is this : This same lady that has denied him SEX for like aeon, how come she has had multiple of sex partners and even pregnant to the point of giving birth?

Now that's the riddle in the confusion state of the Op. He's not passing judgement but apprehensive of the future. Is there ANYTHING he's lacking that made his woman sexual preference to other men. What are the likely consequences in a marriage state?

Learn to respond with open mind not bias indiscretion

Best response so far. Let the lady explain why she preferred other men having sex with her to this young man.

jc173:



Like seriously?
First u sleep with her neighbour she forgived u and u finally got a girl pregnant as if that's not enough u even went ahead to commit murder and she still forgive u, now u r considering whether to marry her or not because she told u a little of her dark secret .. My dear u r d worse sinner, I won't even look at u and that ur ring talk more of marring u

Hahaha. I can't but laugh. Reread the original post. I won't educate you any further. The issue is not about stillbirth, celibacy, abortion or any sanctimonious stance of either the OP or the babe. Marriage is deeper than what you think it is. Think.

Dear poster, the problem wad that u were not persuasive enough for her to let u into her honey pot. The other guy must have persuaded her in everyway witout giving up until she fell for it and even got pregnant which means dey did it flesh to flesh. Now in ur own case, I just beliv dat u giv up easily wenever u demand sex and she says NO. My brother, u just hav to taste dat honey pot befor marriage so that u will be sure there is no problem down there before venturing into it for life time. She is a woman wit fish brain remember

perryy:


Best response so far. Let the lady explain why she preferred other men having sex with her to this young man.

That's the point! If the OP is not sexually appealing to her, she had simply said so. She should stop sapping the guy emotionally and financially.

Maduawuchukwu:

He cannot just go ahead and marry her. He has to know why she was having sex with others but not with him at different times. It could be that she is not attracted to him and that is a big red flag.

I guess that's in d past.

ComputerSeller:

When you see experienced people talk, you can't help but appreciate them. You wrote well.

Hahaha. Bro, I learnt the hardway.

don't marry out of pity, if you love her, then go ahead, assuming she didn't tell you, you will still love her.

Normally i don't comment on this sort of thing but I'll just advice you to never marry this girl, first of all she already takes you as someone of low intelligence and that won't change now or later, she won't have sex with you but bleeped around elsewhere and when you're already stable financially she locks you in with romance , she only told you this cus she believes you'll find out later, Manipulator ALERT!! very evil one at that.
The real reason why i believe you shouldn't go ahead with her is that as intelligent humans we should go for what is Prime/Best, she's a used up hoe that has no conscience, you can do better than that, you can get a better girl than someone that's manipulating you like a Yoyo all the time. go for younger and fresher babe that you can emotionally contain. just like girls go for rich guys(which am not against in any way) you should go for the best you can do, forget about having sex with her cus that's what she locked you in with and your assumption that she hasn't messed up that much. tell her to her face that you are sorry and can't really wrap your head around this one, and instead of going ahead only to break up later that you believe it's better you both go your separate ways now.
Never marry out of pity, a girl that has had 50 abortions but loves you and cares enough to provide sex to you is 1 million times better than this girl. you can do better.

Nerdg:


I truly love her and had stopped talking about sex long before this time

Wait oo.. You wanted to have sex with her.. She said no.. You later find out she eventually had sex with someone else when YOU broke up with her.. And you are mad? Really?? From your writeup, you seem really hooked up on sex, which is a problem. why is that some guys think its ok to sleep around but a crime for a woman to also sleep around? when you insisted on sleeping with her, why did you think she was barred from doing so with others.... Because im sure you had sex with others even while dating her and after you broke up...
so why do you think it was wrong for her to change her mind and do some
You impregnated someone and she also got impregnated by someone else, so why are you holding a higher moral standard against her? Both of you are the same. You cant play the victim here oo..
Yes, she told you no sex... but you broke up with her. She had sex with someone.. Maybe she felt guilty after that. The fact that you are with her now doesn't mean she still cant say no.. Until youve put a ring on her finger and paid her dowry, she has the right to say no.
UNTIL YOU CAN CALL A WOMAN "YOUR WIFE", IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER BEFORE MARRIAGE, DONT CRY WHEN SHE HAS SEX WITH OTHERS TOO.. IF YOU WANT IT, WAIT TILL YOU PUT A RING ON IT. If she told you to wait till marriage and you agreed to wait but she slept with someone, then have a legitimate case..
Again listen, SHE FREELY AND WILLINGLY TOLD YOU, not under duress... Not a sign of a lady to keep secrets... I would keep quiet if my woman told me that, especially knowing im also in the same soup.
if your relationship with this lady is only held together by SEX, what will that relationship depend on for survival when the sex is over and becomes boring afterwards
wise up dude... Marry her or let her go... but dont play victim

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Coming late to this thread, i have one concern. Its the sex you never had. I wish you will rule out every after marriage issues that may be linked to sex.

Forgive me "no sex before marriage advocates" but i am a "sex before marriage advocate". I really dont want you to later have regrets.

Guys have greater urge for sex, this makes guys confused on whether they are in love or they have an infatuation. Your desire for her as a wife may turn out to be an infatuation because you have never had sex with her. It will be good to drop that out of the things that should keep you from marrying her.

So if you feel like still marrying her after having sex multiple times, then you are good to go.

She has no valid reason to stop u from having sex. Religion is the best reason and she has not claimed that. She should give you valid reasons.

The fact that she was once pregnant and didnt do abortion is a very good qualification for some guys.

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were 1)teens and have always loved her.
She refused me sex and along the line, 2)her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.

We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and 3) settled with a condition that there would be no sex. .
This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and 4)she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs.
I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. 5)Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

1) As a teenager, where you in the habit of discussing girls with your friends after sex with them??

2) where you dat cute guy in the neighbourhood that girls drool over, and u brag about it??

3) u had an agreement

4) u can't be certain she slept with dat guy within dat period of 4yrs, even if she did-u don't know when (it may ve bn in d fourth year).
You don't know d kind of person he was, or the agreement they had.

5) sex has been the problem btw YOU AND HER, not HER AND OTHERS.

I THINK THE QUESTION IS "WHY HAS SEX BEEN THE PROBLEM SHE AW IN YOU??"

PLX REFER TO QUESTIONS 1 & 2

jamesbridget13:
I guess that's in d past.

She is still not having sex with him now.

Hunm! @OP you almost ruin the life of this girl. All that happened was your fault. you set her up emotionally when you break up with her because she denied you sex. this made her to open her legs subsequently to preserve relationship. now that both of you have come together as "born again", forgiveness should follow your confession of sins. learn from the past and move on..
if there are darker secrets pls confess it to one another, this is the secret of spiritual power in marriage.

Maduawuchukwu:


On the different occasions that they dated she denied him sex while she was having it or had had it with other people; It is too weak to say that it was because she was a virgin that she denied him sex in the first place and later on that it was because of her bad experience. In a court situation the evidence will be weak. The main thing here is that there is a huge possibility that she is not sexually attracted to him and that is going to make for a disastrous wedding. That she has good qualities is not going to keep the marriage if she goes about cheating cos she has no sexual attraction to him.

You all still do not get the point, OPs problem with this lady is still sex, well we can also say he will go about sleeping with her relatives if he marries her since he has done it before.

She had sex with people after their first encounter and before their second encounter. She didn't cheat and there were difference of YEARS between all these incidents.

Besides anybody male or female has the right to say No to anybody they are not married to at any given time, whether the person is a virgin or not is inconsequential , the moment people understand this the better.

That guys problem is sex and she is very smart not giving him then and even now. Those shouting manipulation are not even aware he's the one doing the manipulating.

The babe even tried considering him for marriage oo, A large percentage of girls will never marry a man who has slept with her neighbor-relative simply because she denied him sex.

He doesn't understand why she didn't sleep with h and slept with others years later and still is not sleeping with him now that they are engaged and this is his major problem.

Sex sex sex lool

Anyway I am a no sex before marriage advocate.

hisMrs:

shebi dey were not together all that time. na so dem dey quick dump person? Oya o OP dump her o and another man will cherish her.
just remember OP said he knew she was not a V

OP DUMP HER SILLY ASS LET ANOTHER LOW LIFE DUDE CHERISH DAT SHIT

vicben27:
if you love her enough marry her! we've all sined at one point or the other! i and my wify shear almst the same past! we've but sined who am i to judge her infact thats the more reason i love her. so man up n do the needful

I think her past or secret isn't the problem here but the way she had made the OP to see her like a saint and him the bad guy all this while then realizing all of a sudden that she's done things too.

Amberon11:
This Nigga didn't just sleep with anyone. He slept with her relative. If he could sleep with her relative then he can sleep with her sister or cousin. This guy is worse than a hypocrite.

Do you guys realize that OP was probably 15 years old when he slept with the so called relative? 15 years is the age where most boys will sleep with anything in skirts because of their raging hormones. He had not obtained the level of maturity he has now so I won't even hold that against him.

0

NoToPile:



You all still do not get the point, OPs problem with this lady is still sex, well we can also say he will go about sleeping with her relatives if he marries her since he has done it before.

She had sex with people after their first encounter and before their second encounter. She didn't cheat and there were difference of YEARS between all these incidents.

Besides anybody male or female has the right to say No to anybody they are not married to at any given time, whether the person is a virgin or not is inconsequential , the moment people understand this the better.

That guys problem is sex and she is very smart not giving him then and even now. Those shouting manipulation are not even aware he's the one doing the manipulating.

The babe even tried considering him for marriage oo, A large percentage of girls will never marry a man who has slept with her neighbor-relative simply because she denied him sex.

He doesn't understand why she didn't sleep with h and slept with others years later and still is not sleeping with him now that they are engaged and this is his major problem.

Sex sex sex lool

Anyway I am a no sex before marriage advocate.

Yes his main problem is why she slept with them and not with him and that is a legitimate problem. The issue is "what does that mean?" Is is that she is not attracted to him or what? That question is very key to a happy marriage. They have dated on three occasions; the first time maybe she was a virgin, the second time she was in Uni and had likely started having sex, the third time she was a confirmed non-virgin who even wanted to settle down with a man who impregnated her and through all these episodes she did not give him sex! Meanwhile the guy is footing her bills. This is a very huge red flag. She is not giving you sex meaning that she might not be attracted to you but you are footing her bills meaning she is gaining from you. The most logical conclusion here is that she is keeping him around for the benefits she gets. This thing happened to my friend so I know what I am talking about. Most likely she treats him shabbily too.

follow ur mind ���� oga ade..

The girl has skeleton in cupboard. .

Taste your good before buying

Taste and tell me later

Nerdg:


I truly love her and had stopped talking about sex long before this time

nobody is a saint, marry her, get children cause this girl sounds like someone who will fouk her behind your back and come to you like it never happened because you are weak.

She has trust in you. That's why she opened her dark side