Nwabundo38:
#thingstheynevertoldyou1.

Dear ladies,

Firstoff, You are strong. You are beautiful and you are perfect. Do not let anyone make you feel otherwise. Do not put yourself in situations that undermine the fact that you are. So pay close attention to what am about to write.

1. There's a big difference between gender equity and equality:

Equity means impartiality, fairness, justice and equality means being equal in all circumstances. All circumstances, by this I mean equal amount of heavy task work, payment of bills, day-to-day bustle.
By nature, we are the gentler sex, the sweeter, more feminine.

Our bodies are not attuned to the "normal" hard task performance a man would carry out without breaking a sweat. We are not men. We are not equal with men. We are different, special. We are the rock of our homes, the glue that binds a home together, we are the foundation.

Gender equity should not be equated to gender equality, they are two misused terms in our world. Women are powerful, most times more than the men.
You don't realize it because you're too busy listening to the wrong message.

The woman screaming "feminism!! feminism!!!" on social media does not tell you that she goes back home and cooks, cleans and has great sex with her husband. She doesn't tell you that her man provides most things, pays the bills, and she appreciates him all the way.

She makes you believe that its okay to display your nipples, shout and disrespect the opposite sex, dress indecently and complain about being harassed, sleep around because "men do that, so can you". She makes you believe you are a man. No you're not, you're not a man. You are a strong, special woman.
Don't get me wrong, feminism is a great for self appreciation, pride in womanhood and motherhood. All I'm saying is that, do not get the wrong messages. Do you dear, be yourself.

You don't need to lick his feet or hang on his every word. You however need to ascertain your place because you are submissive by nature and can be unappreciated or treated less honourably. Its not okay to sit and watch yourself waste away. You need to stand up for yourself. You are to be respected, your choices are to be respected and your voice should be heard.

So yeah, messages on gender equality, equity and feminism should not be misread.
You are a woman, not a man.

2. The law of attraction:

Two plates of food was given to you. One was unwrapped and the other still covered with foil strips, which would you eat first Yeah, we all said the same thing; Eat the unwrapped and save the wrapped plate.

Men are visual, period. Show them a long leg, then they want to see two. Slip out a boob and they want to see the other one.
If you dress like penny-for-one chick, you get addressed by men (sometimes women too lol) who have got the penny to spare. If you dress like a classy woman of value, you get addressed by the sort who want to associate themselves with value. Simple.

Men are of the thought that every woman has a price tag (dinner, expensive shopping...) , so they want to know what that might be and if they do BAMM!!
They get what they can and they're out leaving you with the "all men are the same" feeling.

Noooo sister. They aren't not all the same, they just got your price tag.
So what's your price tag?

I know that your clothes doesn't have a "rape me" design or "harass me" print on it. I also know that some really good girls get raped, abused and harassed too. My heart goes out to you. It'll get better, it always does. You'll be fine. I love you.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others:

My dear pretty girl. You are unique.
You need to stop hurting yourself and feeling less beautiful than Oluchi with the wide hips or Feyisayo with the fuller breasts or Temi with the long legs.

You however need to appreciate the unique way you were created. You should know that your smile makes someone's day. Your pictures are saved on someone's phone. Your words mean alot to someone. Your figure is appreciated by someone. You are perfect.
The imperfections you see are a reflection of your self esteem. You should love yourself, so others can see you and love you. You should be confident. You should be happy.

Yeah, you may not have as much clothes as Thelma. But do you know she goes out every night, jumping from bed to bed to keep up her "high profile". You know Dupe, the hot instagram girl you are envious of? She has AIDS and is currently battling vagina candidiasis.

So be confident and love yourself. Nobody else can do that for you. Love yourself.

4. Love is a decision:

Love! What is love?

Love is tolerance, acceptance and respect. Love is loyalty, protection and trust. Love is pain. Love is hope. Love is a decision.

If he's not down for you in the roses and in its thorns. If he's not accepting you wholely and truly. Do not choose him. Do not continue. Do not commit. Say no.

Your heart is not to be toyed with. You should make your decision. Do i want to be with this man? Do i see him in my future plans? Do i want to be with this man in his worst and in his best?

You need to decide what's best for you. A man who does not respect you from the beginning will not at the end. If he does not appreciate you now, he certainly will not later. You are important. You are the decision maker.

You are not made for tears production, neither are you a lab rat. You are a person and you have a choice.

One question: If you are asked to marry your boyfriend, S.O, fiance, sugardaddy lol, whoever you deem important in your life or never ever see them again. Would you? Despite their appearance, bank account, anger issues, trust issues... would you?

Love is a decision and the outcome is what it is. Make the right one so you don't hurt and if you made the wrong choice like everyone does, you'll heal baby girl, you will. Give yourself time.

So dear woman, beautiful woman, sexy, adorable, hardworking, unique woman, I'll be awaiting your reply. I'll also write to your man, soon.


With love,

☆☆☆

Lalas247:

Only thing they should concern themselves with is finding a job , keeping it and working hard
Less time to determine what's equal n what's equity
Who the hell cares ..... only on Nairaland people carry this on their head ..

IamLEGEND1:
Mtcheeewwww.

If woman talk say she wan be like man...... Make dem allow am na.
All these yeye naija girls no even understand half the kyn pressure wey dey on top men shoulder for this country. Na to Sidon with their phones dey type feminism upandan dem Sabi while dem dey tax their boyfriends like say tomorrow no dey.