This is my first time relating my personal experience on an online romance platform. My reason for doing so us to get as many criticisms and advice as possible.
I've been in a 2year relationship with my girlfriend a d I brokeup with her yesterday. The reason for our breakup is tied to the fact that she feels somewhat guilty that our relationship has affected my academic performance. Am in my final year in the university and there's nothing more I want than graduating with a 1st class. before we started dating I was on a fairly strong first class and currently I am on what we regard as a border line 1st class.
My girlfriend feels guilty and I've spoken to her about the fact that she in no way is a distraction to me. Because she's someone Ive been in the classroom with and we could read for over 5hours without even talking to each other and people wouldn't even think we are dating. On the days I forget to eat because I'm studying she gets me food so I don't get exhausted mentally. She supports me always advice's against us hanging out for to long when its obvious I have books to read. I can go on and on of how much I don't see her as a distraction.
but the truth is there's this fear I feel that one day I would turn around and blame her and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
to avoid this I decided to ask if any thing was bothering her and my performances academically came up and she said she felt horrible. She loves me I know she does but my quest for making a 1st class is all I think about these days. To avoid the while scenario of a blame game like I've captured above I decided to call it quits.
the thing is since yesterday I can barely do a thing. All I think about is her. I feel like my heart has being reaped out of me . And I realize how much she means to me and how I can't do without her . I've never loved anyone besides my family and God this much.
what is the guarantee that in leaving her I'll make this result I desperately crave? I want to be able to tell myself that whatever I leave d university with, I would never in the future blame her for it.
I'm confused . I need her her back. I don't know what to tell her. I don't know how to get my academic foals and my ex aligned.
pls I welcome the opinions of everyone especially those who have been plagued with similar instances and how they managed the situation. Thanks

Take responsibility for your failure and don't push the blame to the poor girl. What you both had was a near perfect relationship since we don't have a perfect one. Call her back please, your mates were able to handle their grades and relationships, why can't you?.

Go back and find out why your grades dropped. Is not as if you stopped reading after getting involved with her.

Thanks for the advice. But like I said anytime results are out and I don't do so great she begins to tell me how guitky she feels. I don't see her as the reason intact she doesn't distract me but she keeps telling me she is bothered

You broke up with her when you are not emotionally strong to leave her.

You don't break up with someone until you have a plan b which is you don't love them again or you are dating someone else you love more. This breakup will affect your academy cos its obvious you are weak. So go back to her till you love another or maybe after your final yr exam for it not to truly affect your first class.

Cos some people can't read when they are passing through heartbreak while some can read.

Chairman, First Class or 2.1 doesn't get you that job in an oil company you are eyeing! It's about connection bro......

So does it mean u can't date a gal and still concentrate on ur studies? If so, then you are not yet emotionally matured! What happens when you are married with kids and doing your masters degree program, will you as well divorce your wife and disown your kids?

So u have to sacrifice your galfriend for 1st class.?
Life is more than 1st class or 2nd class...

My friend, before I say "jack" u better run after that gal and get her back...

IamKashyBaby:
Uùumm...

Hang on, lemme call Sinz..definitely he got a better comment

Tell him I said he should drink Dr Igoedo Goko Cleanser

Lolz...your English is poor,you need Jesus in your life not any woman and face your studies, what will be will be...life is more than first class and women!!!

babyfaceafrica:
Lolz...your English is poor,you need Jesus in your life not any woman and face your studies, what will be will be...life is more than first class and women!!!

Thanks for the advice. My English is not poor as it may seem. I typed with phone and that's why there are typographical areas all over. Thanks

Benita27:
Take responsibility for your failure and don't push the blame to the poor girl. What you both had was a near perfect relationship since we don't have a perfect one. Call her back please, your mates were able to handle their grades and relationships, why can't you?.

Go back and find out why your grades dropped. Is not as if you stopped reading after getting involved with her.

i wonder oo

You're lucky to have her. The saying that: You don't know what you've got until you lose it, applies to you a lot. My boo in school wasn't as lucky as you. He was a medico and he kinda made me read more than I'd ordinarily do. But I only see the reading place as another rendezvous as we snuggled and exchanged small love notes. Clearly I was a distraction he couldn't resist. My own friends had to protest that I'd make him fail. They always create a barrier between us cause we all read together. My boo would've preferred your kinda girl.

So you'll run back to her now, tell her you're worse off if she's not in your life, that the past few days have shown you can't do without her and that if she refuses is when she'll actually be responsible for your failure if it eventually happens. Now run along!

Is she not a student like you? If yes, why will you feel she's probably the cause of your recent poor grades? You have to define what you really want and the times you need her by your side.

Off course,I know you don't read 24hours a day,you must surely have a time to cool off. If she distract you from reading,which I believe she doesn't,then you guys can always meet each other during your free time. Quitting a relationship with someone you still have love for will only leave you in a path that will make you get jealous whenever you see her around a guy on campus and that will even cause more distraction to you academics.

Call her back, jokingly tell her you only wanted to see her reaction towards the relationship,that she's an integral part of you,that she can never be a sort of distraction to your academics. You really have to say these to win her confidence back if not,she will also be warming up to dump you because you've already open her mind to the fact that you both are not academically compatible.

Again,if you have that strong mindset of banging a first class,you can also influence her and shake her up to be on the same academic radar with you,and both of can achieve the good grades together.

cakez:
This is my first time relating my personal experience on an online romance platform. My reason for doing so us to get as many criticisms and advice as possible.
I've been in a 2year relationship with my girlfriend a d I brokeup with her yesterday. The reason for our breakup is tied to the fact that she feels somewhat guilty that our relationship has affected my academic performance. Am in my final year in the university and there's nothing more I want than graduating with a 1st class. before we started dating I was on a fairly strong first class and currently I am on what we regard as a border line 1st class.

What do you mean by borderline first class. What is your current CGPA, Your age (you above 22?) and the remaining semesters you have left?

cakez:
I can go on and on of how much I don't see her as a distraction.
but the truth is there's this fear I feel that one day I would turn around and blame her and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
to avoid this I decided to ask if any thing was bothering her and my performances academically came up and she said she felt horrible. She loves me I know she does but my quest for making a 1st class is all I think about these days. To avoid the whole scenario of a blame game like I've captured above I decided to call it quits.

No smoke without fire, the bolded is what struck me the most about what you typed up there.
So you mean that you could actually blame this girl if you don't end up with a first class?
Have you ever blamed her before?
Think really hard, is there anything that you might have blurted out in an argument?
I mean there is a reason your girlfriend would be feeling really Guilty about your GP, something that doesn't concern her, and has only to do with your ability to focus and achieve your goal. All she does is help you "not get mentally exhausted", How then did she make the connection that you not getting your goal has something to do with her if you both can read 5 hours without talking to each other?

P.S.. What level is she in and what is she on? 2.1 or 1.1

babyfaceafrica:
Lolz...your English is poor,you need Jesus in your life not any woman and face your studies, what will be will be...life is more than first class and women!!!

you that ur English is good
Av u achieved anything from it



back to the topic, Op don't shift the blame 2 d poor gal

Victornezzar:

you that ur English is good
Av u achieved anything from it



back to the topic, Op don't shift the blame 2 d poor gal

k

DaySpringer:

What do you mean by borderline first class. What is your current CGPA, Your age (you above 22?) and the remaining semesters you have left?



No smoke without fire, the bolded is what struck me the most about what you typed up there.
So you mean that you could actually blame this girl if you don't end up with a first class?
Have you ever blamed her before?
Think really hard, is there anything that you might have blurted out in an argument?
I mean there is a reason your girlfriend would be feeling really Guilty about your GP, something that doesn't concern her, and has only to do with your ability to focus and achieve your goal. All she does is help you "not get mentally exhausted", How then did she make the connection that you not getting your goal has something to do with her if you both can read 5 hours without talking to each other?

P.S.. What level is she in and what is she on? 2.1 or 1.1

I have two semesters left. I am on a 4.51 she is on a 2.1... I have never for once blamed her for my results. A year ago I asked her for a break cause I wasn't really sure about our relationship I just needed my space to clear my head. we got back though and she brought up up for the 1st time the fact that she felt she maybe distracting me. its a year later and results are out. I experienced another decline and I noticed she was acting cold and unresponsive and after asking what was wrong she brought it up again.
I love her and I explained to her that she wasn't distracting me. the issue is her reference to this decline has gotten into my thoughts . This is explains my fears that I could blame her someday.
I'm 21

Bros I can share your pain. TO be great you have to make sacrifice; even greater Sacrifice. Hold onto that dream of yours because you never know you guys can till be together after this quest of yours. Not trying to mock any good lady out there, but the day I began to fear them was when i was in first year. A particular girl and I were good friends and she wanted a guy who is intelligent to be her boyfriend so that they can read together. Women really have huge amount of influence in men psychological behaviour. My reason for the aforemention statement was that anytime I open my book to study, I started either thinking of her.And I am this kind of guy that pursue my goal with passion eschewing any form of distraction. So i knew such relationship wont work and less i forget I like to play the game solo pertain academic issues. I could not mix emotion with academic work so I allowed other fisher men get the fish. You can now see her impact on you. You lost a hole day to read because of your love for her. One thing is sure you may marry her or any person will. But you cannot relive the past if you fail to pursue your first class. ASK many that have graduated they would always have stories to tell.

Like they use to say in church that some people will try all they can but the kingdom of God will still be far away from them.

Believe you have tried and she also aided your success so far. I bet you without her you wouldn't have achieved so much that you have achieved if it is truly according to what you have narrated.

You really need her in your life, such woman is rare and shouldn't be given away cheaply like you want to do.

She is a force to pushes any man who is willing to be successful to attaing a great fit.

The "worst" mistake you will ever make is to let her go. Get your phone and prophess to her how much she means to you.

I am a relationship blogger and will tell you categorically that my woman is also like yours, though i never aimed to be a 1st class student but i maintained my normal performance thrpugh her support.

When you have a supportive and understanding woman you need to do all to keep her for just yourself, her type is rare.

Much to say but no time my brother.

cakez:

I have two semesters left. I am on a 4.51 she is on a 2.1... I have never for once blamed her for my results. A year ago I asked her for a break cause I wasn't really sure about our relationship I just needed my space to clear my head. we got back though and she brought up up for the 1st time the fact that she felt she maybe distracting me. its a year later and results are out. I experienced another decline and I noticed she was acting cold and unresponsive and after asking what was wrong she brought it up again.
I love her and I explained to her that she wasn't distracting me. the issue is her reference to this decline has gotten into my thoughts . This is explains my fears that I could blame her someday.
I'm 21

I don't know your personality type but you are a First classer so I will try to give you a Broad range Advice.

You must be very realistic with yourself when it comes to life decisions.
You must be able to tell yourself realistic truths and ask yourself serious questions as they will help you get your head straight

I assume that this is either your first serious relationship or it is the first relationship where you are in love or both.
It might also be your first Heartbreak and that is why you are so distraught.

Now ask yourself the following serious Questions.
1. How long before you will be able to marry this girl? How many years of serious relationship? I don't know how old she is but since you are 21 with a bright career future, it might be a really long time ahead, years definitely filled with many variables.
Do you really think that your current love and university relationship will make it through NYSC, Long distance career separations and eventually end up in marriage? very few relationships survive long distance and even fewer relationships make it out of the four walls of a relationship.

A truth
Women are ephemeral. They are temporary beings, they come and they go and they stay only when the conditions are right, when something about the right conditions change, you see them beginning to Falter. Maintaining the right conditions is not something that one man can carry on and successfully accomplish.
My point?
Y[b]our Certificate will always be there with you.[/b] The sense of satisfaction will always be there when you look at the struggles and how you overcame them and achieved your desired goal.

2. Which would be better to deal with? Being sad knowing you lost a woman you were in love with while holding your First class certificate or Being depressed that you lost a good woman and still lost the goal? There are many women out there and you will always get over a heartbreak but you can never go back and get the same first class you know you should have been able to get.

3. Do you think your girlfriend would stay with you if you loved her and dated her and then at the end of the day lost your goal?
Do you think she would date you will Guilt on her mind? Let me tell you something, Guilt dries up love! She would be feeling guilty and then gradually drift into the arms of another man, who being with does not make her feel any Guilt.


I am typing all this so that you can get your head straight, Girlfriend or not.
Getting your girlfriend back is as simple as calling her over the phone, asking to meet up and then apologizing for saying what you said and Gbam, you guys will be back together.
But what then happens when that cold, unresponsiveness you sensed before begins to rear it's head up even more and then you start suspecting that her attentions are being taken by someone else? You think what your feeling bad now? What happens when insecurity and paranoia set in?

Be Selfish here, brother, Chase your first class and be happy with yourself because one Raw truth is that you and that girl came out of separate wombs and you are not even able to marry her now now if it comes down to it. Sh won't even be with you if you end up with a 2.1 because you'd be a Failure (Relatively ofcourse).

Focus.

I see u ave a bright future with the said girl. bro forget 1st class, all u need is connection, A skill that will launch you out. if you let that gal slip off, I'm sorry!!!

DaySpringer:


I don't know your personality type but you are a First classer so I will try to give you a Broad range Advice.

You must be very realistic with yourself when it comes to life decisions.
You must be able to tell yourself realistic truths and ask yourself serious questions as they will help you get your head straight

I assume that this is either your first serious relationship or it is the first relationship where you are in love or both.
It might also be your first Heartbreak and that is why you are so distraught.

Now ask yourself the following serious Questions.
1. How long before you will be able to marry this girl? How many years of serious relationship? I don't know how old she is but since you are 21 with a bright career future, it might be a really long time ahead, years definitely filled with many variables.
Do you really think that your current love and university relationship will make it through NYSC, Long distance career separations and eventually end up in marriage? very few relationships survive long distance and even fewer relationships make it out of the four walls of a relationship.

A truth
Women are ephemeral. They are temporary beings, they come and they go and they stay only when the conditions are right, when something about the right conditions change, you see them beginning to Falter. Maintaining the right conditions is not something that one man can carry on and successfully accomplish.
My point?
Y[b]our Certificate will always be there with you.[/b] The sense of satisfaction will always be there when you look at the struggles and how you overcame them and achieved your desired goal.

2. Which would be better to deal with? Being sad knowing you lost a woman you were in love with while holding your First class certificate or Being depressed that you lost a good woman and still lost the goal? There are many women out there and you will always get over a heartbreak but you can never go back and get the same first class you know you should have been able to get.

3. Do you think your girlfriend would stay with you if you loved her and dated her and then at the end of the day lost your goal?
Do you think she would date you will Guilt on her mind? Let me tell you something, Guilt dries up love! She would be feeling guilty and then gradually drift into the arms of another man, who being with does not make her feel any Guilt.


I am typing all this so that you can get your head straight, Girlfriend or not.
Getting your girlfriend back is as simple as calling her over the phone, asking to meet up and then apologizing for saying what you said and Gbam, you guys will be back together.
But what then happens when that cold, unresponsiveness you sensed before begins to rear it's head up even more and then you start suspecting that her attentions are being taken by someone else? You think what your feeling bad now? What happens when insecurity and paranoia set in?

Be Selfish here, brother, Chase your first class and be happy with yourself because one Raw truth is that you and that girl came out of separate wombs and you are not even able to marry her now now if it comes down to it. Sh won't even be with you if you end up wi
th a 2.1 because you'd be a Failure (Relatively ofcourse).

Focus.

Thanks bro. God bless you for taking time out to commeny

If you are going to blame her for not making you graduate with a first class (which of course does not give jobs anymore without your connections), who would she blame for what she graduates with?

Dude you've got yourself only to blame for however you or your result turn out if you can't combine a relationship with academics. It's obvious she loves you much and what's happening to you is what yoruba would describe as 'oun yo'. I suppose when you get married you are going to divorce your wife because you are pursuing an award of employee of the year and you think your wife is in your way