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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him (66459 Views)
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Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Marshalxv(m): 1:59pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Daeylar: Lol,you didn't do anything my dear, let's just advice the woman on how to overcome this phase of her marriage. No offense |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by nevplus(m): 2:14pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
herveze:. you are not man enough,and lack what it takes to be one 3 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 2:24pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
LoveWifee:Now, this is a reasonable man. 5 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Daeylar(f): 2:40pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Marshalxv: you said I gave her more reasons to hate the man so what did I say exactly? |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Marshalxv(m): 2:49pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Daeylar: Lol,u still want to so this ? OK ,go down to where u stressed out things like if a man claims he owes his wife no fidelity then the woman owes the man non as well since its right for a man to cheat wen he's out of town ,if its also right for the woman to cheat too? don't forget women are moved by what they read or hear,that's y I used the little child and burning flame as an illustration for u. We all know the man was wrong in all respect but must me dwell in his wrong deed? Thank u once again. 1 Like |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 2:50pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
tomi87014: Sorry dear, this is so tough. I want to give u some advice though if u think ur marriage is worth fighting for. 1. Dont pretend. Dont hide ur hurt. If ur thinking about it, think about it. If u want to cry, cry. While ur doing all this try not to think ,"oh my life is over, im at fault", ,ur thought should be more like "life is really unfair and difficult". If the feelings are overwhelming, say a prayer for strength. Dont move out of ur home. Still pray for ur family by urself. Dont initiate prayer wt him. 2. Give ur husband space. Dont beg, dont initiate any discussion. Dont ignore. Still serve his food. Talk to him normal if its abt sthn important, or send it via text. If u need money for bills or antenatal, ask him for it. MAKE SURE YOU DO. Dont try to be independent, even if u have $1million. No fake smiles. No stiffening or harness. Just soften urself and remove all dt hatred ur building up in ur mind for him. Let all ur thoughts revolve around u and how ur feeling. Not him or what hes thinking or what hes doing or his phone or where hes spending d night. Time to take all dt attention ur giving him and give it to urself. If u greet him and he doesnt respond, stop greeting. If theres ever going to be a talk, let him initiate it. When he does, express urself, say what u REALLY FEEL. Let him know u will not accept dt behaviour. Moving forward let him explain in his own words what d rulesof engagement in ur rltshp will be. You have to be strong. Dont self deprecate urself throughout this conversation. Ur a human being. Ur meant to be chased, not the other way round. 3. Dont report him to friends or family. Trust me. Ur mom will give u ancient advice dt will turn u into a doormat in ur marriage. (REMEMBER no begging ur husband, u cant beg to be loved, it will only embolden him). And ur parents will never like him again even after u reconcile. Forget reporting to his family. They cant help u. It will make it worse. Ur mother in law will notice herself when she comes to take care of ur new baby. Let her start dt discussion. Not you. 4. Love yourself. Dont fall into a depression. It will only make u angry, bitter and VERY UNNATTRACTIVE. Theres nothing wrong with you. Marriage is not ur "purpose" in life. Never forget that. 5. Be in d present. Dont live in the past or the future. Take a walk. Do things u love. Listen to ur baby kick and feel the beauty of the new life in u. If u go to events with or without ur husand. Really be at the event. Not in ur head. Live in these moments. U will never get those moments back. 6. Be yourself and dont grovel for anybody. If ur tired, pls be tired and dont feel d need to cook to impress. If ur craving sthn and no one to buy it for u, pls call him to buy it. You cannot come and go and die in this pregnancy. PS - Loads of men dont cheat, so dont believe dt nonsense. Dont lower ur expectations of ur marriage. 3 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Edkoliba: 3:06pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Amberon11:! Men change like APC |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by smileshinz(f): 3:10pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
ikp120: Good Lord, please keep men like this very far away from me 1 Like |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 3:10pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
mrphysics:r u now speaking for the man or r u d man,also how has he shown that he's very sorry or u assume so on his behalf.Am not a saint nd I beliv people should apologize wen dy r wrong.A sorry nd remorseful actions would av saved a whole lot.Never dish out wat u can't take nd let me tell u DAT women r aware of our sexual misbehaviours and dy r OK wen we r descret abt it,women also forgive easily,remember dis is a marriage and both party should be fully involved in making it work.All DAT woman need was an apology nd cuddles from her husby nd I bet u she won't even b here in d first place. 1 Like |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 3:23pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Boss13:i have seen divorced women who's lives became more peaceful after leaving their spouse that gave them constant headache. I am very mature mr advicer. Infact its better to go into marriage with less expectatiions than to be taken unawares. Happiness is a thing of the mind ,it is very wrong to hinge ones happiness on the availability of another human being especially marriage to nigerian men ,who have time and time again proven not to be reliable for companionship 4 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by mrphysics(m): 3:26pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
peepydelano:Seems you don't know how women analyze things. You don't know when it happened and when she posted it. She did not state everything and how it has been going in the house as we speak. So you never can tell what is going on. Stop talking for likes and be matured. Do you think the man want the marriage to end? It is normal for him to put up a defensive attitude even when he knows he is wrong. |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Adorbs: 3:27pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Maximus85: Oh lawd She is going to be replacing her in misery, tears, disrespectful slurs which emanates from the hubby, so what is there to envy? Abeg the other woman outside should please come and collect him, the same cain thay was used to beat the first wife will also be used on the second, 6 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 3:36pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
PS - he might have done nothing yet, just playing wt fire. A wise man once told me dt men get angry and defensive when theyve bn caught doing sthn wrong. Trust me he knows hes wrong. So let him come and apologize to u. |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Adorbs: 3:42pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
[quote author=ajaniogun14 post=59096115]My response is coming late. Hope you get to read it. First, not all men/relationships are the same, so what works in one union may not be effective in another. Therefore, I will task you to cast your mind back to your "before marriage" acts. You have missed something along the way which made him find alternative outside. Secondly, when couples have babies early in marriage, the man tends to drift cos the woman comes with acts/behaviors the man was not used to and a quick fix is a side chick. Retrace your steps. While am not in support of a side chick, my experience has taught me that a sane man knows the difference between a wife and side chick. While the wife is for keeps, the side chick is temporal. In my case, my side chick back then made me treat my wife best and honestly indirectly. Now that she found out about the side chick, I am more calm with my wife and faithful, but I still miss my side chicks. What she did was simple, she didn't take it as an advantage to find side-bobo or cause issues at home rather, she teases me about them and asks about their welfare to the extent that shame catch me and I had to delete them myself. While you may not be able ti do what my wife did, I instruct you to find what brings peace and not rancour as rancour would push him more outside and not care whose ox is gored. Lastly, PRAY.[/quote] I hope you will do the same when she cheats on You, i mean, teasing her and asking about the well beings of her lovers 6 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 3:51pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
mrphysics:dis is marriage my broda not relationship. he's got some guts to av boldly told her he doesn't owe her fidelity nd bliv me some men still bliv in dis,nd he's fully aware of her condition, dats bad nd hurtful.for God sakes,dis lady is pregnant nd he is pregnant too by reasoning her healthwise nd emotionally. If u wana cheat,don't be caught.u r funny to tynk I care abt some profitless likes,dats funny. 1 Like |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Adorbs: 3:59pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
ApostleJSuleman:Uncle soldier , sooooo a woman is not supposed to cheat you say? But why is he allowing a woman to cheat with him then, or is he cheating with a goat Nii? 5 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by jy2kbeyond(m): 4:06pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Jahblessme:Hmmmm. I think you are bent on destroying this woman's union. Her patience and silence will speak more than you asking her to beat the drum of war. Please prepare to marry her once she get booted out of her home. What the husband is going through is a faze which he will get over. And that's if the lady didn't complicate things. |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Adorbs: 4:07pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
PaperLace:Thank You, with their potbellies, some don't even visit the gym, smack their lips while eating, snore heavily on bed like a castrated cow , always complaining about what they are not 3 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Adorbs: 4:10pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Malawian: So whenever she gets pregnant she should expect this, oooh I forgot, she impregnated herself. 3 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 4:15pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Many ladies have lost their husbands simply by acting stupid 1: LOVE is not forever and if you got married because LOVE was involved, when it fades so will your marriage 2: Everyone is Human and has the likelihood to CHEAT.. we are all Sinners everyone - no one is above infidelity and every one will commit it in one way or the other. 3: Confrontation has never worked well in this condition and many women know it because they have heard of the outcome from several women going through the same thing. A Man will either do the following when confronted a: Feel Guilty and Ask for Forgiveness but never repent of his actions - he will continue b: Beat the shit out of you for asking - usually women don't ask , they become angry, aggressive, abusive and loud c: Pretend to Repent and Act Romatic to make you feel secure.. then they tighten-up their game by getting another phone/number you will never see in the house or on him. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IMMEDIATELY 1: Resolve not to report this matter to Friends or Family this is an in-house matter not to be discussed outside 2: Establish or determine the level of infidelity to know how much of your marriage you can recover (if it is not beyond recovery) 3: Have a personal improvement plan - Physical (Fitness and Appearance), Education (Intelligence) and Career-wise - Men are attracted to these qualities in a woman. Infidelity is not instantaneous, your husband did not cheat on you out of the blues, the conditions for his infidelity were gradual and progressive which means you were actively involved and did not nip it in the bud or were too naive to notice. Things Married/Dating women should absolutely avoid 1: Not taking care of Health and Fitness 2: Not noticing Trends in Fashion 3: Not improving on their Education - Always improve your knowledge and skills because the future is uncertain and LOVE does not overcome all things 4: Arguments and Quarrels do not make the relationship stronger - it makes it weaker and the couples distant and detached (a very good condition for cheating) 5: Be a Smart-woman.. never ask questions in an accusing manner - We women all do this regularly and fail to notice the resulting behavior from our husbands. e.g when he is late from work.. instead of calling and asking WHERE ARE YOU! can't you see it is late? send a text message "Dinner is getting cold, should I warm it or wait till you get in?" or "Drive safe honey, it is getting late. love babe" or something less confrontational.. simply because "WHERE ARE YOU?" the Age-old silly question does not solve any problems you might have? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by CioAngels(f): 4:16pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
herveze:You both were very lucky, Weldon. |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Adorbs: 4:42pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
adanny01:Why are you doing all of that in the first place, a married man still feeling fly, calling ladies other than his wife bae, love and what's not. You knew she wanted you,despite being married and you indulged her stupidity, and brought your wife low before her with all those unnecessary flirting knowing fully well there is something called emotional cheating. If i want to cheat, my wife cannot stop me so no amount of monitoring would, it will just cause her health problems and damage our relationship. If my wife wants to have a good marriage relationship, she should stay off my phone. It won't cause her any health problem, don't blow your horn, it will only damage your relationship of which will affect you also. Stop all these hanky panky and focus on your marriage, so many unnecessary interactions between you and these single ladies. 4 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 4:50pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
successinlife:oh wow....seriously? It takes only the woman to make a home? And its okay for a stranger(side chick) to criticise your wife? Na wa o. Infact, I no get strength to argue, na una understand unaself On being a single lady....I don't care what makes her single but I do know she lacks enough morals to be sleeping with a married man and at the same time insulting his wife .....fullstop. That's enough for me 2 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 5:15pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
LoveWifee: Amen 1 Like |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by missKiffy(f): 5:18pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
mrsmith11:Men like you are rare, keep it up |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by missKiffy(f): 5:20pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
ikp120:And if worse comes to that and he divorce her to marry the other lady, has the world come to an end 2 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 5:21pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Remember op, there are many men who are attracted to pregnant women. I should know... Take that information and dwell on it. I'm not encouraging sexual adultery but being pregnant does not stop your beauty...nor free dinners men may offer. |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by adanny01(m): 6:15pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
Adorbs: What is emotional cheating? How can i be cheating on my wife when i have never spoken to this girl. How can i have emotional feelings for some one who i feel nothing for? Trust me, i know when i am cheating whether emotionally or otherwise. So you or my wife or anybody cannot accuse me of cheating. If you do, i wont offer you any explanation because i know the truth. When i am really at fault i will apologise and do everything to mend up. I wont be apologising for things i didnt do. Besides, i should tell my friends to stop joking with me especially as regards opposite sex because my wife will browse through my phone. When a twin sister to a girl you previously dated out of the blue asks you for money on facebook messanger, how woulf you react. In my case i couldnt believe it so i asked her to send her acc details. I wanted to know if her fb acc was hacked and didnt expect the hacker to send his acc details. She did and it was her acc details. I had no intention to give this girl �. When a third party views our chat he will think i was actually going to give but in my case i knew i wasnt and just did a test to satisfy my curiosity. Have i cheated on my wife emotionally or financially. If my wife sees that chat, should i apologize for doing wrong. What was my wrong doing? You better advise the op to stop looking through her hubby's phone, it may not be what she thinks. It creates less problems in the marriage if she stops. Its better to contract a PI than constantly look through my phone. |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Anextin(f): 6:26pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
jy2kbeyond: You think this is a phase?? If she doesnt arrest this situation now it becomes her life story. She will b on the receiving end till death. She will be in a marriage just for sake of answering "mrs" or her kids. If he has he guts to say to her face this crap then beating follows next. This how they start next people will advice her to keep praying whole it deteriorates into domestic violence. I just hop for her sake that he had a bad day that made him sprurr such rubbish to her and such idiotic speech won't emanate from his guts ever again. Lady b on the alert, look out for signs and prepare yourself. You shouldn't be with a man who's not ready to build a home. Or a man who can't accept and own up to his faults. The worst are unapologetic men. You can't ever win or get even with such. 2 Likes |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by Nobody: 6:44pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
PaperLace: My partner is the best in the world, ain't no man like him. Comments like yours make me happy for other women who also have real kings for husbands. Gosh! God is so good, I am so lucky and blessed with a real life angel #TrueLifeHero God blessed me with a true king and I can die to save him any time any day and vice versa. Anyone woman saying all me are unclean are just unlucky and with the wrong man or have bad fathers. Also those boys who think it's natural for them to cheat have played life and had their sick hearts broken beyond repair. #BeGoodStayCleanAndGoodWillComeToYou #GodWillSurelyBlessYouItsAFact
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Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by macof(m): 6:51pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
tomi87014: Something must have triggered this new attitude. He probably just leant something about your past. Every husband gets angry when he remembers or realises the past dark lifestyle of their wife |
Re: I Caught My Husband Chatting With A Lady On Facebook & WhatsApp & Confronted Him by timmygal25: 10:40pm On Aug 03, 2017 |
u still be a lot of work to do.pray for him .I believe there is nothing prayer can't do.even some of this men that cheats it's not their wish but they are weak to overcome temptation. not in ur husband's case dou,since hr is not sober about it. |
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