Daeylar:



I hope this your bitter truth goes both ways?
I hope you will also try and talk to your wife and also continually pray for her if she cheats,
i also hope you know that while you travel for a year and feel its normal to cheat then you won't have a problem with it[b] if your wife also feels it's normal to cheat too[/b]
I also hope you let her know before marriage that you feel that all these are normal, and not that you expected her to just know.

if the answer to the above is yes, continue happily with your marriage,

I'm just tired of reading all these ridiculous statements, how can a man tell his wife that he doesn't owe her any faithfulness and someone comes out to defend such a statement and even says all men are like that. SMH

or op, did he state it explicitly or say something to that effect before marriage that he doesn't owe you faithfulness and you just overlooked it? or is there something you are not telling us? I'm trying to understand why he would feel so comfortable to say such rubbish to your face..

I don't mean to support the cheating husband, intact no woman deserves a bitter home in the name of marriage. But I also frown when feminist approach is used on sensitive matters like this.
@ the emboldened, that is only when women hustle to build houses, buy cars even for their their future husband, train their future husband in school, pay for all his expenses at the same time sex starve because the guy isn't ready for it and at the same time doesn't want to be cheated on, officially bears the financial burden of marriage and family, etc, as men do. Only then you will talk about 'opposite and equal reaction' between men and women as feminists demand.

Firstly, let me say how sorry I am, that you have to go through this sort of predicament. Secondly, never blame yourself for another person's wrongdoing. If your husband felt you needed to improve your dressing, sex life or whatever, it is his responsibility and not yours to discuss it with you and work with you to achieve a beneficial result for your marriage. It is totally disrespectful to a partner and marriage to say because one partner does not dress well or offers less sex, it is a license to cheat. What happens if the partner falls ill, becomes disabled, can't have children, looses their job and becomes less interested in sex( usually men), has significant episiotomy and the 'place' is not as tight as it was before. Your husband's behaviour suggests to me you are in for an awful ride in this marriage, unless he decides to change. He said to your face that he does not owe you faithfulness, what does he owe you then? STD's, ridicule, shame, disrepect? It is ridiculous what we Nigerian women take, honestly!!! If you don't mind, let me give you a word of advice( I have been married for 16 years now) whatever you accept now, you will have to keep on accepting it until either you become mentally damaged, full of bitterness, venomous and unrecognisable even to yourself. I assume your marriage is young since this is your first pregnancy. It is up to you what decision you make, but I want you to ask yourself these questions;
1. Are you willing to look the other way?
2. Are you willing to settle for less?
3. Are you willing to continue to endure your marriage?
4. Do you genuinely believe he can or wants to change?
5. Do you genuinely believe you are able to forgive him and forget about it?
6. What options do you think you have? How do you achieve these options?
7. Are you emotionally strong enough to deal with the effects of adultery in your marriage
8. Do you value your health, self and life?
9. Do you think you are worth more than rubies?
10. Do you see yourself as a queen that should be treated with respect?
11. If you are a Christian, are you able to vigorously pray and fast continuously for the rest of your life on this issue?
12. Will your next generation think it is okay to stay when your partner cheats, that it is normal?
13. What are the advantages and disadvantages of whatever decision you make? Weigh it up logically without being emotional about it.
Ultimately, the decision is yours; I hope you make the right one.

Don't pretend to b OK with wat hurts u as it will lead to health issues later,let him know its not acceptable nd he shld b cautioned nd put to check,let him know he owes u faithfulness even if it means informing his parents.Deal seriously with DAT statement of his now or regret it later.u r d one hurt nd u r d one DAT desav apology not d oda way round.African men pls respect ur wives.

midehi2:

dear, you can actually train yourself out of unfaithfulness, there are still 30% men out there who are faithful, marriage is understanding, no man want unhappiness in marriage, it can be worked out with the very right person.

I got you but the point is that most ladies here do not understand the whole thing. I see the ladies think like women and assume to be a man too. where is the 30% of men? you seem not to understand. only 0.1% of them are out there which I am one of them. Stop telling me how men feel and how they are.

Women too have their problem which might not be related to sex. The whole women issue is a big problem on its own.

peepydelano:
Don't pretend to b OK with wat hurts u as it will lead to health issues later,let him know its not acceptable nd he shld b cautioned nd put to check,let him know he owes u faithfulness even if it means informing his parents.Deal seriously with DAT statement of his now or regret it later.u r d one hurt nd u r d one DAT desav apology not d oda way round.African men pls respect ur wives.

As a man do you think the husband meant the word? You join women to take everything serious. The man was caught in the act and he must have seen himself a coward to have ventured into such, and as a way to remain in control of his home, he reacted that way. Trust me, the man is very sorry of his action. Don't join all these nairaland women think out things that do not exist

My problem with people saying that she should pray is that by doing that, the man is having his fun and you have communicated to him that there are no repercussions for his actions. Dont get me wrong o prayer is good and she should definitely pray but there should be repercussions, i dont think my husband in his right mind will tell me he doesnt owe me fidelity because i will ask why he said those words in front of God and man. I take my vows very seriously and if the other person doesnt want to take them seriously then why are we married? Life is too short and tomorrow isnt guaranteed for anyone to spend morning afternoon and night on a man that knows his right from wrong but still decides to do the wrong thing. Thats why alot of women become very bitter and angry its because of what the men put them through. Who wants that? In as much as i hate divorce, i cannot stay with an unremorseful cheating partner or a wife beater, i cant and i wont. But to each their own

In my opinion, you do not need to fret about this yet, it is normal to have suspicions as a woman, but you need evidence to confront your husband. I would suggest that you soft pedal on this, or rather you sit with him and let him know that you can be that person he can talk to and the kind of woman he seeks. In all you have to work yourself to be that woman.

Note: Marriage is a covenant and contract between two people and if one party is not keeping up, it is not a do or die affair, you can actually live alone.

Prevho:
Don't follow that advice above.

All men are not like that! Quit generalizing.
Some men are so disciplined that you are think they are aliens.

Your husband claims he does not owe you faithfulness, that there is the problem. So what did you do after that statement?

He owes you all that, but I think this bothers on trust already, have you given him a chance to suspect you before? I think your husband knows something about your past which is very dark, but he should have voiced out except you lied.

He was not like that, something has triggered him and it may be from you or the friends he keep.

This is why you need a little drama in your relationship.
_______

You have to seek out his friends, your husband is keeping bad companies and I mean it. They are influencing him negatively.

____
All those talking about trust, you don't just get people to trust you like that. There is nothing like trust at first sight.

read this post on TRUST: https://www.nairaland.com/3964024/how-trust-new-scam-stop

Trust is like a phone battery, you charge and it can also deplete.

Trust has to be earned, it is not inherited. If the woman is checking his phone, I see no problem, her trust meter was needing a recharge due to his behavior, and he proved her correct.

Visit www.collegereap.com for scholarships and job openings.

she shouldn't seek out his friends yet,you have made a very good point about the man been triggered by something to change his behaviour,....seeking out his friends may either go well,or turn out very bad,and may be like adding fuel to the whole issue on ground,and yeah the man that 1st commented is right,the ones that seems to u as aliens are just been perfect at their craft,some are faithful because of grace,.yes I said it GRACE,OF GOD,..my own advise the woman is just to rewind and try to reason how she was doing when he was faithful and now that he's unfaithful,if there is no change as to her behaviour,she should just try to continuously approach him as to why he's changed towards her,mind you not aggressively,it may escalate to something else entirely,.if that doesn't work,.she should continue being herself and do what's expected of her cos of her pregnancy,if her solem attitude doesn't give him a change of heart,then she's free to seek out his best friend,not just any friend,his best friend,if that doesn't work then going to his family is the next thing,..u may see it as a long process but as the old ones do say,..patience doesn't cos damage, patience repairs..hope I'm been helpful thanks

Treasuredlove:
Omg! You are really defending your cheating self?now I haff seen everything ke.
A side chick who can't find a man of her own querying your wife's ability to keep her home? Does that even sound reasonable to you?
Because your wife is a good woman and chose to forgive you doesn't give you bragging rights about being the victim
Infact this thread is just bringing out how twisted the world is becoming morally

Truth hurts,the percentage of happy home is less than 10% worldwide,rich and poor are not left out.Do you think dumping his man is the best solution?you will be in for a shocker,alot of good ladies run into eat and run guys while alot of good men end up with slay queens, the possibility of Op jumping from frying pan to fire is 90%.It is better to find out the cause of her husband behaviour and sort things out.

@ Treasuredlove, you can't know me more than i know myself,even her parents know the type of person i am.Simple miscalculation in marriage can ruin the whole family.A side ckick/unmarried lady is not because d lady is bad,you don't know what makes her still single.Everybody with his own cross.Good woman yes but good is not enough if a woman can't protect her home,her husband is inclusive.

Holier than thou takes us nowhere,most Countries that put holiness as their badge are the most corrupt in the world.

Op, this is the time for you to stand your ground and get things right in your marriage. Please don't listen to anyone saying that it is in the nature of every man to cheat. That is total hogwash! I have many men of sound character around me who are married and are faithful to their wives, so i know what i am typing about.
Don't sweep this matter under the carpet, else this would just be a license for him to continue cheating with reckless abandon. You know what to do!

TheArchangel:
You are not a man rather a puppy. And you didn't think you've changed too. Oh no!!

You are not a man? how do you know he's not a man? do you know what is to be a man? you obviously don't. You are ranting based on what you read, saw, think you know but you really don't know. Take it or leave it 99% of men are like that, he;s just being honest but I guess like the old saying women love lies. Before a man can stick to his woman it takes a lot and the woman must be more than just a wife(very few women know the steps/secrets to be more than a wife to their man and some do it without knowing too) to him but that is another talk for another day

wonders shall never end, He dnt owe you faithfulness, Ask him whom he owe it, some men get gut shaaa!! please for the sake of your condition clam yourself down your health is more important now than any other thing.let your kneels speak for you,for self delivery,and to destroy every strange woman.then sit him down and talk to him,

find whatever that will make you HAPPY for now.

God is your strength.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

wake up in the middle of the night, pray to his hearing , cry with the girl's name. If possible pretend as if u a laying a curse on the Lady. Cry with bitterness , then watch and see what will happen.

tomi87014:
Think he is just carried away with the lady. He didn't tell me he would cheat on me in marriage or he wasn't obliged to be faithful to me. I even told him he would've told me all this before marriage that he deceived me. The terms would've been clearly spelt out. Like i said earlier, i am badly hurt that he is treating me this way because i didn't expect it from him. If its someone i expected such from, maybe i would've reacted differently.

Don't bottle up ur emotions when u r with ur man. Men hate when women trying to be men. Wake him up late in the night and beg him to please listen to you. Let him know that GOD's Protection over u both and ur unborn generation becomes jeopadised when either sin. Let him know that sin opens loopholes for stagnancy, retrogression and satan's destruction; spiritual and physical like HIV(e no dey show for face). Don't bottle up ur emotion trying to man up. That femine subtleness and vunerability still softens the hardest man's heart, it makes women more powerful. Go on ur knees, go closer holding him and release your all ur emotion weeping profusely, telling him you see him as your Prince charming, ur Man in shining armour, ask why is he trying to kill you. By now he'll probably join you in crying profusely, apologizing and promising never to break ur heart. After then, google more on how to make your husband stick to you alone.

Sorry.

He is obligated to be faithful. It is compulsory. Don't accept that selfish statement. He must choose you first and you alone. Unless your religious beliefs accept polygamy.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

Women can look for what is not looking for them. Why did you go through his Phone/PC (since you didn´t mentioned the medium used to access his account). What where you expecting to see, when you decided to go through his account? Sebi, when you didn´t know all this, you were happy now you are stressed because of your curiosity. So bear am.

mrphysics:

I don't know how you might see it but most times it is true. 99% of men cheat, I'm not yet married so I do not know if I cheat too.

Everything is complicated and OPs husband was very wrong in his statement. We are changing this world faster than how nature wants it to change.

Do you know that the only sin of some men is just sex?

Ladies are the most complicated being on earth and to tell you the truth, most men don't want to get into that sacrifice that comes with marriage. I am a man and I do not care what all these fake guys come here to say just to get likes.

There is a tendency for men to cheat, I have seen faithful men and I will like to be one when married.

truthfully spoken. I agree with you on all points.
fake guys tend to ignore the fact that Man has never been a monogamous being. as a matter of fact monogamy is a sacrife for spiritual development. sometimes I wonder how christianity evolved to preach that polygamy is a sin. carefully study the bible(NT) jesus did say it was suposed to be one man and woman but he never said stop polygamy. if polygamy is a sin then king solomon should be one of the first to be thrown into hell. Abraham was polygamus(thanks to him we have a wild set of humans)

back to the NT, cant quote now but remember when st. paul was giving guidelines for selection of leaders, he talked about does havine ONE WIFE. if the jews were polygamous then why the existence of such law?
Its real hard work on the part of the man to be commited to one woman. After all, women were seen as beings for the glory of men .

im currently single, not because I have not dated or have been rejected but because I am not sure if I can maintain a single gf now. better have non than mess with emotions of innocent ladies.
All men have polygamous tendencies. keeping to one girl is tough.

from a scientific point of view, it is nothing novel that the masculine gender is driven by tremendous sex drive. As animals we compete for better life to get better and more babes. its nature mehn. if its nature then why blame humanity for sexual immorality?

I am not saying men should cheat, this is a new age, we are H. S. sapiens now. control those animal behaviours.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

Hey woman! Champions don't weep but exercise authority. I guess you are a born again Christian; I mean someone that can pray and heaven hears. If you are such, congratulations! Go on your knees and command him back to his senses. There's an aspect of marriage crisis people overlook, that is spiritual manipulations. Send that lady to the bed of affliction and set your husband free from her demonic strongholds. The devil is out to destroy happy homes. Cheer up!!

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

My wife caught me 3 weeks ago with a chat worst than your hubby's. We called ourselves so many endearing names like bae, baby, love etc.

We never arranged to meet. From our coversation my wife concluded i was already cheating.

However, evidence does not match up to the reality. The girl in question is a friend to my friend's fiancee. We met at their marriage introduction though we never spoke. We had an evening outing as friends of bride and groom. One guy showed interest on her, they were an item that day but she confided in my friend's fiancee that it was me she wanted. My friend's fiancee told her am married but she insisted. The bride to be told me everything but i didnt react.

After some months, the bride to be's mother passed and we went for the wake keep and met but didnt speak again. The bride again told me the girl is still asking her questions about me. At this point, i collected her contact but didnt call and we just started chatting on whatsapp. At a point she asked for recharge card and i sent her with no objections. My wife saw the chat and concluded but actually i have no relationship with the girl.

How can my wife ever know that the kind of relationship she saw on the chat doesnot exist or doesn't translate to a physical emotion? I was just playing along and we live in different states.

I acted like your hubby, i had no relationship and everything i say would not be believed since it contradicts to what i replied in the chats. So i told my wife to do her worst. Ofcoure my wife will not divorce me over a relationship she cannot proof.

If i want to cheat, my wife cannot stop me so no amount of monitoring would, it will just cause her health problems and damage our relationship. If my wife wants to have a good marriage relationship, she should stay off my phone.

Funny enough, the same friend of mine offered me a girl on WhatsApp saying "i have one sweet girl for you, the kind i know you like". I asked him when he became a love-vendor, we joked and laughed. My wife saw that joke too but never knew its a joke. No one will know its a joke, he was pulling my legs. He even sent a random pic of a beautiful girl.

There is another story of a girl i asked to send her account details but wont bore you with more stories.

Sometimes, you will never understand the context of the chat or the thought process of someone during the chat. Its better to stay off.

This is how what would have otherwise been a great marriage starts to have issues and ends up hitting the rocks. Your marriage seems young with a baby on the way,. For most men, that's a great thing to look forward too and they wont jeopardize it for anything in the world. My sister, you will turn into a prayer warrior over this issue - serious one o, else did you say he is sleeping in the spare room abi. Very soon he wont even come home at all. And Yes this advise is from experience.

the Op should know that not all men CHEAT, but all men FLIRT

ikp120:
Your hubby is a real man, not all these pussy niggas we've got everywhere.

Yes, he doesn't owe you an atom of faithfulness. Dare cheat on him and he will divorce you and marry that lady.

u mean o

Daeylar:


Rubbish,
Did you even read my comment at all?
LMAO,
where did I ever say the wife should go out and cheat on him?
LMAO, I'm not your problem, please go and look for the cause of your anger

people like me are the reason we have broken marriages,
not the useless men and women that cheat on their partners,
not the op's husband who looks at his wife and. says to her face that he doesn't owe her any faithfulness,
not some men like the one I quoted who opens his mouth to say that all men are like the op's husband and that it's normal
it's people like me that are the reason we have broken marriages, LMAO

nonsense,
next time don't quote me with trash,
Read and understand before coming here to type trash

rubbish

U put a burning flame in front of a crawling baby and u think the baby won't put his hands in the fire .
It's bad enough that the husband cheat and wasn't remorseful about it and the only thing u can do for the already hurting lady is to give her more reasons to hate her husband the more .
Thank u ,u can come back to comment wen some1 needs advice on how to divorce her cheating husband. Take care

PaperLace:

Be practical enough to know this isn't about me _stop generalisations. ALL MEN DON'T CHEAT!! It must be disappointing not to have the whole army behind you.

Lol. Dont worry. Even if Oga cheats on you, it doesnt mean he doesnt love you. cheers.

Marshalxv:



U put a burning flame in front of a crawling baby and u think the baby won't put his hands in the fire .
It's bad enough that the husband cheat and wasn't remorseful about it and the only thing u can do for the already hurting lady is to give her more reasons to hate her husband the more .
Thank u ,u can come back to comment wen some1 needs advice on how to divorce her cheating husband. Take care

where did I do so? where did I ask her to hate her husband?
I'm sorry what did I do?

I read only the first page and got a bit irritated because it was turning to a women v men issue. This is your marriage and I will strongly advise that you should NEVER implement what some of the women here are telling you to do. Many of them are single, never married or high pretenders.

Women are yet to understand men and men are also yet to understand women. Your husband was ashamed you caught him red handed and rather than feel ashamed like a boy who was caught by his mom with the meat in his mouth, he is allowing his ego get inside his head. Be careful with your husband. You need to understand his personality.

You are in pains, but what would define your marriage is how you handle the pain you feel. If you handle it wrongly, you will lose your marriage and increase your pain further. Your husband has shown that he doesn't want to discuss that issue, do not confront him about it again. You may not like the outcome. At this moment, don't report this matter to anybody, not a family member, you would embarrass him further and leak family secrets out. Be calm and cool and don't change your attitude or the other woman wins. This is your marriage and he is your husband and family.

Marriages have issues and are not perfect, but with perseverance, it finally succeeds. I wish you well

RapportNaija:


This is best reply I have seen on Nairaland. Almost brought me to tears...

The first reply said "women are always the cause...", I am a man and that is the shittiest thing to say! Blame women for practically chasing other women? Nonce! Naija men self, sense run from many of una! See how he was so convenient and then act as if he was talking about all men. Bloody cheats!

Keep up the good work. How can someone keep doing something that hurts his wife, then expect same wife to look out for him.

That's how they continue, till they are old, frail and maybe with lesser cash. They immediately remember their loyal wives. Bloody heartless cheats!

Praktikals:

Lol. Dont worry. Even if Oga cheats on you, it doesnt mean he doesnt love you. cheers.

Misery sure loves company. Give this advice to you daughter when you eventually have one. He can cheat on her and give her STDs _ tough love.

Dear OP, please take it easy especially in your present condition. Don't let his philandering harm you or your baby, don't let this trigger BP issues for you. That said, please refrain from checking his phones and emails, don't dig up what you cannot bury. Focus on carrying your baby to term and being healthy. As for your husband, work on his conscience. He'll come back begging your forgiveness...until he's in a good state, don't raise the issue with him. Lastly, don't involve your families yet but PRAY without ceasing.

Lordcenturion2:


Bbe, this is the early stage of ur relationship, although am not in Nigeria but am from there and I have mature a little bit before I left the country, am a psychologist and I haven't experienced marriage issue before but I have learnt a lot and seen a lots around,people learn from other people experience and mistakes in order for them to maintain and know how to keep their future family grow perfectly.

Knows that this is early stage of your marriage,you needs to calm things down,he's a matured man even than me because u said he's in his late 30's, just check your own side if there is a change in your behaviour compare to when you just know him,if u can't find anything change in u, call him and talk to him calmly, because for him to tell u that "he didn't owe u his faithfulness" definitely there is something wrong, call him in the middle of the night or anytime you see that he's in happy mood with you,behave as if you have never had any quarrel with him regarding the issue before, ask him if he has something in mind towards you or something that u are doing but which you are now failing to do or if u have offended him in any way , just do it calmly don't fight him. Use your lower voice volume to speak to him,if he says there is something ask him for forgiveness and promise him that you are going to change and ask him to promise you as well because he should know that deep thinking is not good to your health presently.

Dear, relationship is not easy, those couple u are seeing that are celebrating 5, 10, even 20 years has seen a lots, it's not easy, especially for women side, they endure for them to archive those years.

Most marriage balance after 4 to 5 years, once it's reached 5 years, then that kind of marriage is out of desperate times and it now survive,you don't need to panic or scare, just handle things peaceful with him just for you to archive those years,remember that you guys are still new to each other, you've known each other for 10 years as bf and gf doesn't mean anything, getting to know each other start the day u got married to him.

No panic, everything will be fine and don't try to fight him,just think about the baby you are carrying and the ones in future,this is one of the desperate times for u, I believe that you are going to survive it if u applied wisdom,this is real temptation, don't let it defeat you, that is your home forever and u are ready to endure everything that comes out of it.. Best of luck

You're a psychologist Odiegwu

Guys we need to understand these women. They are very delicate and don't think like us. A women starts thinking of her wedding/marriage/husband from the age of 6 and at that age for a man, he is still considering which chew gum is sweeter or the Indomie he would take to school to show off.

Now, to tell a woman all men cheat means there is no Prince Charming for them. It kills their hope and dream of a perfect handsome man who would make life purpose clearer - they don't want to hear it, they don't want to believe it.

When a man cheats on a woman, it breaks them down. It makes them feel like their worthless or no longer attractive. She may even blame her children or her body shape. Listening to them gives you a perception of how hurt they become when they find out that their partner has cheated on them. Women want to feel and remain special - it is their nature.

Women, most men cheat. They cheat not because they don't love you or you are no longer attractive or they are tired of you. Some cheat because they want to, others maybe they were lured to, or just want to be in the company of other women, some men have crazy sex drive. Some men have alter ego (act differently when they are with strangers) and express themselves better with other women, some men do because they can afford to do so (they are rich and powerful), some because of work and family stress and they are tired of hearing or being in it.

Do women cheat - yes they do, but they would prefer stability and love and also like to share good time with someone they care about and love. This is different for men.

Once you know this, it should guide you and prepare you for certain outcome. I will not advise a woman who loves her husband to challenge him on infidelity issues - she would ruin her home and her happiness. I would also like men to understand that women are not happy when they are being cheated on - well, nobody would be happy. However, no marriage is perfect and it does take a lot of hard work to keep a marriage going on. Some serious hard work and if you want to stay married, be prepared to put in the work.

frenzyduchess:
My greatest fear ,is a man giving me disease. Dear op, I am not married, but from cases i have seen from friends to neighbours to family ,no man is worth the stress. The important thing a woman needs in marriage is children ,and i am glad you are already pregnant. Talk to him ,don't beg and don't cry and hand him variety of condoms. Have the number of kids you want and leave that man. I can categorically tell you,that man will never change since he was that bold to say such a thing to your face,except Jesus comes down . You should focus more on how to protect yourself from the consequences of his stupidity. I have a relation who infected his wife with HIV, they didn't find out on time, and that was when the disease just came out, they are both dead and the children are now orphans. So my dear, no human being born of a woman should make you stressed. Consider your condition and that of the baby.

Wrong. Again from a single girl who is not married, advising the OP to walk away from her marriage. Do you think divorce people are happy? Please don't go into marriage with this opinion. You are yet to be matured for marriage. For better for worse means for better for worse.