PaperLace:


Please, be careful when speaking for every man. All men are not like that. With love, some would sit their wives down and tell her the change they want to see and how they can both work towards it _another set (fairly larger set) prefer the easy way out, CHEAT.
It sure feels good to blame someone else for your misdoings.

bigtt76:
Exactly. Not judging the OP or supporting her hubby, but women no matter how hard it may seem, always look your best while pregnant. Do not let pregnancy weigh you down or destroy your marriage please.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

Prevho:
Don't follow that advice above.

All men are not like that! Quit generalizing.
Some men are so disciplined that you are think they are aliens.

Your husband claims he does not owe you faithfulness, that there is the problem. So what did you do after that statement?

He owes you all that, but I think this bothers on trust already, have you given him a chance to suspect you before? I think your husband knows something about your past which is very dark, but he should have voiced out except you lied.

He was not like that, something has triggered him and it may be from you or the friends he keep.

This is why you need a little drama in your relationship.
_______

You have to seek out his friends, your husband is keeping bad companies and I mean it. They are influencing him negatively.

____
All those talking about trust, you don't just get people to trust you like that. There is nothing like trust at first sight.

Trust is like a phone battery, you charge and it can also deplete.

Trust has to be earned, it is not inherited. If the woman is checking his phone, I see no problem, her trust meter was needing a recharge due to his behavior, and he proved her correct.

Visit www.collegereap.com for scholarships and job openings.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage.

Peterosky:
.The men you termed faithful may only retain that status for the time you have not caught them. It will shock you when you find out the other side of the same men.

herveze:
Hmmmm,truth is bitter and I know that some of u are still single or u are still enjoying the best part of good relationship,I pray that u will not face what this woman is facing in future,that time u will know that all men are the same,ask ur mum how she keep ur dad,she will tell u is not an easy task, and next time u don't av to call someone names (puppy) to pass ur message,that shows that u are not mature enough

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

Sexina851:


Hell no! Women should always play the dummy because dey are women. They have water flowing in them rather than blood.

YourCoffin:


It's the truth.

All men take the easy way out. If you haven't noticed that then you are on a long thing

PaperLace:


THERE IS NO TRUTH IN YOUR STATEMENT!

ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME!
ALL MEN DON'T CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES!
ALL MEN ARE NOT INSENSITIVE TO THEIR WIVES FEELINGS!
ALL MEN DON'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.

It's people like you that gives small-small girls guts to generalize all men are dogs. Please, speak for yourself next time, or the men in your circle alone.

Men are everywhere, it's husband that's scarce. Husband that'll give you peace of mind. Not horseband that saddles you with the burden of "keeping" him.

herveze:

Mind you I didn't support the man but I am trying to tell her to take things easy with his husband by talking to him and pray for him not that she should fight with her husband

And to all ur questions,I didn't say that cheating is right for man but there is no perfect man nowadays even islamicaly or religiously cheating is not only when u av sex with another person's wife but cheating start anytime u think of having sex with another person's wife,now ask ur brother or ur fiance what he thinks wen he see beautiful woman or half naked woman online

PaperLace:


THERE IS NO TRUTH IN YOUR STATEMENT!

ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME!
ALL MEN DON'T CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES!
ALL MEN ARE NOT INSENSITIVE TO THEIR WIVES FEELINGS!
ALL MEN DON'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.

It's people like you that gives small-small girls guts to generalize all men are dogs. Please, speak for yourself next time, or the men in your circle alone.

Men are everywhere, it's husband that's scarce. Husband that'll give you peace of mind. Not horseband that saddles you with the burden of "keeping" him.

TheArchangel:
You are not a man rather a puppy. And you didn't think you've changed too. Oh no!!

selflessmaya:
OP, i'm so sorry to hear this, the disrespect is just astounding. you sound like a very smart lady with her finances in order. u dont need this man dragging you down. the whole thing about telling him you'll also owe him no faithfulness is unnecessary you did not settle down to play mind games. i'm sorry to say this but a man who cheats on you and shows no remorse when confronted is a lost cause, it's one thing to cheat and even if not remorseful, at least pretend to be... and it's another to openly rub it in and that to a woman who's with child.

talk to your husband and tell him that u will NOT settle for such treatment, you earn good 6 figures, you will be just fine, nigeria is full of men and finding one is not hard... dont accept this treatment, it'll not stop, you're still in your 20s and u have your whole life ahead of you, with or without him. i honestly wish i could tell u to talk to him but for a man like u described, it wont work. either make plans to accept this treatment for the rest of your life or make plans to leave and enjoy your beautiful life and move on. it's a very open and shut case.

you're lucky you're well-established, dont fall victim to the married and crying troupe, it's better to be happy and ppl think you're not. than to be sad and ppl think you're happy, you're the one who has to live with yourself so do right by yourself and talk to your husband and make it clear to him that if he ever cheats on you again, you wont forgive, he'll still cheat though cos he's that kind of person but the blatant rubbing it in your face is dehumanizing. this is a man not ready for marriage and if i were u, i'd walk away.. but no pressure, if u ever do decide to leave, just know you're losing nothing. this man is no prize.

mrphysics:

I don't know how you might see it but most times it is true. 99% of men cheat, I'm not yet married so I do not know if I cheat too.

Everything is complicated and OPs husband was very wrong in his statement. We are changing this world faster than how nature wants it to change.

Do you know that the only sin of some men is just sex?

Ladies are the most complicated being on earth and to tell you the truth, most men don't want to get into that sacrifice that comes with marriage. I am a man and I do not care what all these fake guys come here to say just to get likes.

There is a tendency for men to cheat, I have seen faithful men and I will like to be one when married.

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

Flashh:
I have hanged thumb for typing in advising husband/wife matters on Nairaland these days.

Cc. Olabisidebra.

Olabisidebra:

*Faints mode* Resuscitate me and I'll comment

Hmm. *Kissing mode* I believe that would wake you up.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.