zed7:
From my experience they all look decent at first, just when you start getting a little comfortable comes the disappointment. They start making demands, even the working class.
I agree with the Op, chat with any modern Nigerian girl, they no longer want to tolerate the challenges of marriage. Any little thing you'll hear them say "divorce" like it's now a badge of honour. We enjoy copying all the negatives of the whites whilst leaving out the positives. Nigerians are a peculiar set of people i swear. Very soon, just like the man in that article, we will switch to our other African sisters and leave them alone.

women would only call for divorce mostly when their husbands are unfaithful or batter them.you guys will never look at the ills from the men's side but only focus on the women.it takes two to tangle.Most Nigerian men are selfish and always want to eat their cake and have at the same time. No woman will ever work out on a man if he is a dedicated father and a husband and at the same time a provider while she support him too, no woman will work out on a man who does not batter her but act matured when she is sometimes on unreasonable....then later reason with her and talk sense into her. alot of men these days have no business getting married becos they still take their bachelor lifestyle into marriage..eg constant clubbing even after marriage; keeping strings of single lady friends both online and offline,,..thinking the their wives should be seen and not be heard.when you kill that very trust in your marriage upon which your marriage stands on then what on earth do you think the woman should do? Alot of you guys don't have a clue about marriage.Sorry these woman cannot be battered unjustly and expect to remain mute until there is not breath from them any more nor would they continue to suffer in silence while you guys frolic around with countless ladies, sleeping around and giving your wives deadly diseases. it take two to tangle.both have to work to make the marriage work and it has to be base on mutual respect and understanding, Dedication, faithfulness , honesty and intergrity from both parties with and prayer.

omoharry:
you can not have baby mama and have peace with an American woman..they will drag ur ass to court for a larger chunk of what you are worth just for child support and she will live large on your sweat..if you think Nigerian woman are gold diggers(though you didnt say that) i believe you should try this American dragon queens.

my sister...they say who no go no know...i know there must be few good ones....but d currupt (oloshos) ones are just too godamn much these days....i dont think i can trust any woman...9ja or Americans...I've seen a lot....i think the best is just not to get married... I've seen where girl would convince a very hard working guy to enguage in court marriage, only to divorce him 3 yrs later and divide his properties...what do u call those ones...gold diggers right...or heartless gold diggin ho...women nowadays are something else...To the men in d house...if u must marry stay the hell outta Court marriage...ppl wen do am de regret dia life now....a once loving wife could change over night. ...weda she cheated or u did...she's leaving with half or more of ur sweat...be wise bro...good girls are rare (almost impossible nowadays)...

zed7:
From my experience they all look decent at first, just when you start getting a little comfortable comes the disappointment. They start making demands, even the working class.
I agree with the Op, chat with any modern Nigerian girl, they no longer want to tolerate the challenges of marriage. Any little thing you'll hear them say "divorce" like it's now a badge of honour. We enjoy copying all the negatives of the whites whilst leaving out the positives. Nigerians are a peculiar set of people i swear. Very soon, just like the man in that article, we will switch to our other African sisters and leave them alone.

A 9ja girl will only inituate divorce if her stupiid husband is fooolish enough to pull tru with court marriage. ...women go de patient till God touch her husband's heart...if her hubby only agreed to do just church n traditional Marriage

bigcp:


my sister...they say who no go no know...i know there must be few good ones....but d currupt (oloshos) ones are just too godamn much these days....i dont think i can trust any woman...9ja or Americans...I've seen a lot....i think the best is just not to get married... I've seen where girl would convince a very hard working guy to enguage in court marriage, only to divorce him 3 yrs later and divide his properties...what do u call those ones...gold diggers right...or heartless gold diggin ho...women nowadays are something else...To the men in d house...if u must marry stay the hell outta Court marriage...ppl wen do am de regret dia life now....a once loving wife could change over night. ...weda she cheated or u did...she's leaving with half or more of ur sweat...be wise bro...good girls are rare (almost impossible nowadays)...

This one nor dey happen for Nigeria oo..in this part of the world na una dey rule..but oversea..well..you have to share your property with your wife according to the law..sad though.

omoharry:
This one nor dey happen for Nigeria oo..in this part of the world na una dey rule..but oversea..well..you have to share your property with your wife according to the law..sad though.

really? who told u that...they do share property here in 9ja na...but na only if u do court marriage oo

crackhaus:

There are decent, smart girls around..

One has to have a keen eye as well as the patience to get to know a person, you can never tell the difference between the really smart girls who have their lives figured out from the countless money-hungry urchins at first sight.
You might even start dating one who you thought had sense until 6months later then you realize she was just wearing a mask.

Take the time to get to know any girl you're interested in, she might be a slay queen but have a good heart or she might be very decent on the surface but still lack common sense in relationships.

Who is a slay queen?

zed7:

Challnges vary from lack of money to non performance in bed to anything couples face. Choose your pick.

I am sure a lot of wives are willing to withstand challenges but will not withstand trash from their husbands.

A job loss/illness is a challenge; a Doro husband or Mike Tyson is not.

Cc: Gaggi

bigcp:


A 9ja girl will only inituate divorce if her stupiid husband is fooolish enough to pull tru with court marriage. ...women go de patient till God touch her husband's heart...if her hubby only agreed to do just church n traditional Marriage

I don't know the churches you guys get married but I know that RCCG; Trinity House and some others require a registry wedding certificate/licence to wed intending couples.

I assume that Davide Serra is an Italian....

@American women: according to blogs, European & some American men think they are too fat, not willing to take care of themselves (grooming et al), make up too much, eat too much, not willing to take care of their families and over-entitled. (Which feedback is a result of them not taking trash and which is true is left to be determined.)

Interestingly, some Americans are to the other extreme and believe that a woman shouldn't even work outside the home etc.

It would also be nice to know what American women think of these opinions.

There is every woman for each man & vice versa.

bukatyne:


I am sure a lot of wives are willing to withstand challenges but will not withstand trash from their husbands.

A job loss/illness is a challenge; a Doro husband or Mike Tyson is not.

Cc: Gaggi

There is honour even amongst some thieves. Not all women are tramps. The essence of this article is simply to point out that the folks we seek to emulate deep down do not like divorce, a woman who is disloyal or a woman who isn't homely. We enjoy using Americans as a standard whilst one of their own is discouraging people from marrying one.
If women become more submissive and homely, I'm sure they will be less 'Mike Tysons' around.

Gaggi:

There is honour even amongst some thieves. Not all women are tramps. The essence of this article is simply to point out that the folks we seek to emulate deep down do not like divorce, a woman who is disloyal or a woman who isn't homely. We enjoy using Americans as a standard whilst one of their own is discouraging people from marrying one.
If women become more submissive and homely, I'm sure they will be less 'Mike Tysons' around.

Davide is an Italian; he is not 'one of their own'. African women who do not like divorce and homely are in the majority. As for disloyalty (sexual), can't really say.

Do African women really trying imitate white women(I even have to ask which one because them plenty)? I honestly doubt it. We have totally different outlook to life.

An average Nigerian husband wants an Autonomous and subservient wife; An average white (American & European) wants a dependent and subservient wife..... two different women.

If men became more loving, their wives would submit.

Chicken & egg.

bukatyne:


Davide is an Italian; he is not 'one of their own'. African women who do not like divorce and homely are in the majority. As for disloyalty (sexual), can't really say.

Do African women really trying imitate white women(I even have to ask which one because them plenty)? I honestly doubt it. We have totally different outlook to life.

An average Nigerian husband wants an Autonomous and subservient wife; An average white (American & European) wants a dependent and subservient wife..... two different women.

If men became more loving, their wives would submit.

Chicken & egg.

He isn't an African man so he is one of them. Actually Nigerian women are loyal, homely, dedicated and submissive if you can provide all her wants. I rarely see a wealthy man's wife clamouring for divorce except it's the man who decides to kick her out. It's funny when the independent and enlightened women clamoring for independence and their rights are usually the partners of struggling or average men. Cheating is tolerated, verbal abuse isn't a big deal, coming home late at night is part of his job, side chicks are the ones chasing after their husband's and not the other way round. It's difficult to take you people seriously, the doube standard stinks. If we had laws where women could take half of a man's wealth in a case of divorce, trust me the stats would have been different.

Gaggi:


He isn't an African man so he is one of them. Actually Nigerian women are loyal, homely, dedicated and submissive if you can provide all her wants. I rarely see a wealthy man's wife clamouring for divorce except it's the man who decides to kick her out. It's funny when the independent and enlightened women clamoring for independence and their rights are usually the partners of struggling or average men. Cheating is tolerated, verbal abuse isn't a big deal, coming home late at night is part of his job, side chicks are the ones chasing after their husband's and not the other way round. It's difficult to take you people seriously, the doube standard stinks. If we had laws where women could take half of a man's wealth in a case of divorce, trust me the stats would have been different.

There is no double standard in your post, it is you who needs to smell the coffee.

A wealthy man provides wealth for his wife; when he is doing galigali, she relaxes in her luxury suite and twists her diamonds.... A poor man's wife with the anger that her husband just cheated still needs to wash his clothes or manage the money she's taking to the market.

Like someone (a frank male) said, life is easy when you marry a rich man. (We were discussing merits and demerits of marrying a rich man who doesn't love you).....

'A rich husband hates you/cheating on you etc. yet you have cars at your command; you have maids to do whatever you want; you wear the latest designers; you have a lot of distractions to take you off his misbehaviour; you have money at your beck and call etc.' ...... friend 2011.

And he is very right. It will be a tragedy to be married to a poor bad husband.

If you want the right to be a bad husband, better be rich.

I know someone who hates seeing his wife when she is in the 3rd trimester/ newly nursing. He sends her to US with helps for delivery and initial nursing... Imagine he was poor and sent her to his mother's place or they are still in same house with him giving her attitude...

This is not even marriage alone, it is life. People will accommodate the excesses of a rich person more than a poor person; excuses will be made for a beautiful girl than an ugly/unattractive one.... even guys sef. I remember people salivating over an handsome murderer... (his eyes put me off though). Imagine he was ugly? I am sure NL would have sentenced him again.

A politician who is uncouth get passes than an average citizen. A rich man's child will get the job a poor man's child is more qualified for.

Is it fair? No; is it right? No.... However, that is what it is.

Money & beauty/youth turns the world round.

@Divorce stats:
I have always maintained that women will not divorce good husbands because of money.

It is the shitty ones whose wives are managing that have something to fear.

bukatyne:


There is no double standard in your post, it is you who needs to smell the coffee.

A wealthy man provides wealth for his wife; when he is doing galigali, she relaxes in her luxury suite and twists her diamonds.... A poor man's wife with the anger that her husband just cheated still needs to wash his clothes or manage the money she's taking to the market.

Like someone (a frank male) said, life is easy when you marry a rich man. (We were discussing merits and demerits of marrying a rich man who doesn't love you).....

'A rich husband hates you/cheating on you etc. yet you have cars at your command; you have maids to do whatever you want; you wear the latest designers; you have a lot of distractions to take you off his misbehaviour; you have money at your beck and call etc.' ...... friend 2011.

And he is very right. It will be a tragedy to be married to a poor bad husband.

If you want the right to be a bad husband, better be rich.

I know someone who hates seeing his wife when she is in the 3rd trimester/ newly nursing. He sends her to US with helps for delivery and initial nursing... Imagine he was poor and sent her to his mother's place or they are still in same house with him giving her attitude...

This is not even marriage alone, it is life. People will accommodate the excesses of a rich person more than a poor person; excuses will be made for a beautiful girl than an ugly/unattractive one.... even guys sef. I remember people salivating over an handsome murderer... (his eyes put me off though). Imagine he was ugly? I am sure NL would have sentenced him again.

A politician who is uncouth get passes than an average citizen. A rich man's child will get the job a poor man's child is more qualified for.

Is it fair? No; is it right? No.... However, that is what it is.

Money & beauty/youth turns the world round.

@Divorce stats:
I have always maintained that women will not divorce good husbands because of money.

It is the shitty ones whose wives are managing that have something to fear.

Lol. Nothing more to say if you agree that double stardards exist. It's not a man's fault when he lands his wife an occasional slap, lack of money can make one tensed up. It's not a man's fault when he abuses his wife verbally, it can get tough sometimes at work and sometimes it isn't easy bottling up ones frustrations.
Nigerian women should learn to support their men, it's not a man's fault if he gets worked up, it's the economy.

Gaggi:


Lol. Nothing more to say if you agree that double stardards exist. It's not a man's fault when he lands his wife an occasional slap, lack of money can make one tensed up. It's not a man's fault when he abuses his wife verbally, it can get tough sometimes at work and sometimes it isn't easy bottling up ones frustrations.
Nigerian women should learn to support their men, it's not a man's fault if he gets worked up, it's the economy.

A poor man wants to add insult to injury to slap his wife?

He must to be a joker!

Nice topic.

Now here's the reason why a lot of Nigerian men complain of Nigerian ladies. Yes, a lot of Nigerian girls have lost their morals to the influence of the western world, so you would see ladies, who unlike our mothers are not patient and once they can't have their way in marriage, they will ask for a divorce. While we agree that these girls exist and are actually very many, there are also a lot of Nigerian girls that are humble and intelligent. it's just that the modern Nigerian man is not really attracted to these kind of girls. It's either because they don't look like Kim Kardashan or Beyonce or are not as modern as they would like. These ladies im talking about re actually pretty but they're not vain. They probably don't even have an instagram account but are educated. But our Naija brother want a slice of that slay queen and later they start complaining that their wives can't cook or havve bad character bla bla bla. If the kitchen is too hot pls get out.

Question is, 'are the men ever responsible for any of the things that go wrong in these marriages?'

Gaggi:
Interesting that what our black sisters (most of whom haven't set a foot outside the country but get their fancy ideas from tv and books) advocate for is what western men preach against. I can easily substitute American women for Nigerian women in this article.



Interestingly, American women are the role models of young female Nigerian women. I'm glad most men still want a homely wife and want women who are willing to stay married. What silly Nigerian women don't know is that our society isn't mature enough to accommodate divorced women. Never follow blindly.

Oh please, look at you. Judging a whole country and their men by one article. There are many articles as well which say otherwise, going as far as being 100% racist.

Afam4eva:
Nice topic.

Now here's the reason why a lot of Nigerian men complain of Nigerian ladies. Yes, a lot of Nigerian girls have lost their morals to the influence of the western world, so you would see ladies, who unlike our mothers are not patient and once they can't have their way in marriage, they will ask for a divorce. While we agree that these girls exist and are actually very many, there are also a lot of Nigerian girls that are humble and intelligent. it's just that the modern Nigerian man is not really attracted to these kind of girls. It's either because they don't look like Kim Kardashan or Beyonce or are not as modern as they would like. These ladies im talking about re actually pretty but they're not vain. They probably don't even have an instagram account but are educated. But our Naija brother want a slice of that slay queen and later they start complaining that their wives can't cook or havve bad character bla bla bla. If the kitchen is too hot pls get out.

Shey men too have not lost morals or you think our fathers too behaved like some boys(parading themselves as men) we have around today?

That aside I wanted to comment on the bolded part, you are right about this.

There are very beautiful , intelligent, smart and even classy girls out there who will make very decent wives but just because they seem not to fit into the unrealistic dream of how naija men expect their future wives to be they leave those ones and start going for the ones that will give them problems.

I feel that most naija men are attracted to "bad" girls, they now start saying All naija girls are bad bla bla bla.


There are bad men and women, play boys are on the rise these days does that mean a lady must marry one- no. Good men and ladies are everywhere you just need to play your part.

You marry a bad wife or a bad husband its nobody's fault but yours you can't blame your spouse for that you had a choice I suppose. Men should stop complaining.

Benita27:
The same western women Nigerian guys use as a model to bash their Nigerian counterpart?.

many guys on NL that shout team foreign women never reach airport before. They cannot take half poo a foreigner will give them. Don't mind those guys eloping with older women too, they are slaves to those women. An average western lady sees a man as an ex to be. They believe you can't stay with a man all the rest of your life. Ofcourse, african men love respect and they can't deal with them

bukatyne:


Who is a slay queen?

YOU are a slay queen, love...

crackhaus:

YOU are a slay queen, love...

No jokes.

I need the definition of a Slay queen.