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I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. (6238 Views)

Poll: Is Marriage In Africa Against Women?

Yes: 55% (44 votes)
No: 32% (26 votes)
Undecided: 11% (9 votes)
This poll has ended

2-Day Vigil Cost Woman Her Marriage In Delta / Sex Denial Threatens 6-year-old Marriage In Lagos / Do you ever think Marriage Is Overrated? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by iphy42: 11:17pm On Feb 16, 2010
For the married ladies, lets be sincere, we control the home. Our husbands think they are in charge but a woman would always have her way if she's in dire need. She cud use nag ,pet control, stomach filling, bottom power etc to stretch the man to a point where he cant continue to say no

Now if God gives you an upper hand, what do you think wil happen to the man?
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by latepa(m): 11:21pm On Feb 16, 2010
Well i have nothing to say to this but such is life with marriage. smiley smiley
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by H2O2: 11:22pm On Feb 16, 2010
iphy42:

For the married ladies, lets be sincere, we control the home. Our husbands think they are in charge but a woman would always have her way if she's in dire need. She cud use nag ,pet control, stomach filling, bottom power etc to stretch the man to a point where he cant continue to say no

Now if God gives you an upper hand, what do you think wil happen to the man?

shocked shocked
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by MsTom(f): 12:50am On Feb 17, 2010
@H2O2,

Women have phobia for marriages too and the whole concept of it. They have phobia for the way they would be treated by the man, his family and friends. They have phobia about the future of the marriage they are going into. Funny, most women feel much worse than men when it comes to marriage. Your points on divorce and its aftermath can happen to either party. The problem esclate when one party tries to prove subborn. If the man has custody, he does worse than the woman. Havent you heard of men who tell their kids that their mother died whereas she was very much alive but was not allowed to see her kids by the man and his family? All these are the hurts caused by divorce not the system. No one wants to be reasonable during divorce hence the system steps in to create order. I have seen men who have custody of the kids and the woman only visits.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by Nobody: 12:59am On Feb 17, 2010
iphy42:

For the married ladies, lets be sincere, we control the home. Our husbands think they are in charge but a woman would always have her way if she's in dire need. She cud use nag ,pet control, stomach filling, bottom power etc to stretch the man to a point where he cant continue to say no

Now if God gives you an upper hand, what do you think wil happen to the man? 


i doubt you're Nigerian.

since when does a naija man respond to nagging?

all this stuff you're describing is what the mistress uses to control the man. He doesnt necessarily respond to any of those when its coming from the wife. You no be naija ni?




I suspect you're either a male or a brainwashed/daydreaming female.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by H2O2: 1:24am On Feb 17, 2010
tpia.:


i doubt you're Nigerian.

since when does a naija man respond to nagging?

all this stuff you're describing is what the mistress uses to control the man. He doesnt necessarily respond to any of those when its coming from the wife. You no be naija ni?




I suspect you're either a male or a brainwashed/daydreaming female.


grin

MsTom:

@H2O2,

Women have phobia for marriages too and the whole concept of it. They have phobia for the way they would be treated by the man, his family and friends. They have phobia about the future of the marriage they are going into. Funny, most women feel much worse than men when it comes to marriage. Your points on divorce and its aftermath can happen to either party. The problem esclate when one party tries to prove subborn. If the man has custody, he does worse than the woman. Havent you heard of men who tell their kids that their mother died whereas she was very much alive but was not allowed to see her kids by the man and his family? All these are the hurts caused by divorce not the system. No one wants to be reasonable during divorce hence the system steps in to create order. I have seen men who have custody of the kids and the woman only visits.


Ms Tom, if you insist. Like I said earlier, and I'll re-emphasize that 4/5 times we know in whose favor the dice rolls.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by MsTom(f): 3:16am On Feb 17, 2010
H2O2:

grin
Ms Tom, if you insist. Like I said earlier, and I'll re-emphasize that 4/5 times we know in whose favor the dice rolls.

cool
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by samsoft(m): 3:46am On Feb 17, 2010
find the right women in lagos, click the link below
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by oyinda3(f): 5:08am On Feb 17, 2010
please stop smoking cheap weed. i know the prevalence of what i said and never denied that there are women who raise children on their own because the men are dead beat. are you insinuating that it's better the other way around, where they should expect an automatic check all the time? most of them end up spending the darn money for their personal fashion upkeep rather than using it to nurture the children as they're expected to anyway.

why are you resorting to personal attacks?
anyways do u have evidence to prove what u said? because I worked with some minority peeps and majority of them DO NOT pay child support or they pay it very irregularly. i do some paper work for them so i know these stuff and it bothers me very much. one guy didn't even know how to spell his child's name. maybe the wealthier women involved in divorces are the ones who are more likely to have lawyers to look at their case. otherwise, many women don't get child support.

the men definitely should pay at least every month definitely if that's what the law require. don't care if it's check, money order or cash. and who told u "most of them" spend the money just for fashion upkeep? maybe if you said "a small percentage" i will believe you but saying "most" that's definitely false. majority don't get enough!
and even if the woman spends some of the money on herself, i don't see anything wrong with that as long as she is taking good care of the child.
for example, if u were a guy and you hired a woman to serve as 24 hour babysitter for ur son or daughter, won't u be paying her good cash just for the service and her time? and this is not counting the child's food, clothing, wants, and other expenses.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by H2O2: 5:22am On Feb 17, 2010
oyinda.:

why are you resorting to personal attacks?
anyways do u have evidence to prove what u said? because I worked with some minority peeps and majority of them DO NOT pay child support or they pay it very irregularly. i do some paper work for them so i know these stuff and it bothers me very much. one guy didn't even know how to spell his child's name. maybe the wealthier women involved in divorces are the ones who are more likely to have lawyers to look at their case. otherwise, many women don't get child support.

the men definitely should pay at least every month definitely if that's what the law require. don't care if it's check, money order or cash. and who told u "most of them" spend the money just for fashion upkeep? maybe if you said "a small percentage" i will believe you but saying "most" that's definitely false. majority don't get enough!
and even if the woman spends some of the money on herself, i don't see anything wrong with that as long as she is taking good care of the child.
for example, if u were a guy and you hired a woman to serve as 24 hour babysitter for your son or daughter, won't u be paying her good cash just for the service and her time? and this is not counting the child's food, clothing, wants, and other expenses.


For the sake of peace, please. Okay? What sort of preposterous statement is that anyway. . . let her work for her own money. Don't be using the money meant for the child to fend for your own doggone self. Go and work to earn your own darned keep. He's no longer your husband so stop being a gold digger chewing his money as if you're entitled to it just because you're forever linked by way of having children together. The lifestyles these women have chosen for themselves is a burden they have to bear. When they swarm these ghetto deadbeat men, trapping them with babies when they know the men are incapable of sustaining a living or providing for their own selves, it is their fault. I am by no means exonerating the men who're responsible for the repleteness of bastards, however, these women knew beforehand that most of these dudes work menial jobs and earn meagre hourly salaries. Meanwhile, some of these girls, who are usually young, ignorant and for a lack of a better word "dumb" are always looking for men to suck because it's the culture they've been accustomed to and they are too frigging lazy to work hard.

How is a man who's struggling to feed himself going to provide for the upkeep of two other human beings if not more? You better do your homework and learn the ropes before defending the undefendable. All that feministic retarded mindset needs to stop. Nonsense and crap.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by oyinda3(f): 5:53am On Feb 17, 2010
H2O2:

For the sake of peace, please. Okay? What sort of preposterous statement is that anyway. . . let her work for her own money. Don't be using the money meant for the child to fend for your own doggone self. Go and work to earn your own darned keep. He's no longer your husband so stop being a gold digger chewing his money as if you're entitled to it just because you're forever linked by way of having children together. The lifestyles these women have chosen for themselves is a burden they have to bear. When they swarm these ghetto deadbeat men, trapping them with babies when they know the men are incapable of sustaining a living or providing for their own selves, it is their fault. I am by no means exonerating the men who're responsible for the repleteness of bastards, however, these women knew beforehand that most of these dudes work menial jobs and earn meagre hourly salaries. Meanwhile, some of these girls, who are usually young, ignorant and for a lack of a better word "dumb" are always looking for men to suck because it's the culture they've been accustomed to and they are too frigging lazy to work hard.

How is a man who's struggling to feed himself going to provide for the upkeep of two other human beings if not more? You better do your homework and learn the ropes before defending the undefendable. All that feministic retarded mindset needs to stop. Nonsense and crap.

i don't get what r u on about?
u clearly haven't read my post
if ur struggling to feed urself then don't have unprotected sex! it's very simple. it's not like most of these men pay child support anyways. majority of them are way behind on their payments. so the woman carry most of the responsibility instead of just half.
and the man should be contributing more than the woman financially anyways. unless he agrees to share half of the custody with the child(ren). then the finances can be 50-50. because if he shares half of the custody, then he knows how much work/ time it is to take care of children. babysitters are paid for a reason! even daycare centers are expensive for a reason. unless it's govt subsidized where they check the parents income to accept u.
and i'm also sure u learned abt opportunity cost in school. the woman is tied down taking care of children when she could be at work earning more money. while the man is earning to his full capacity!

anyways, what should this single guy be using 100% of his salary on? plz tell me. on booze and making more babies around the country?

in some interview i saw, TI, the guy who made a song with Rhianna some time ago. the dude has SIX kids!! and how old is he?? of course that's going to be a lot of child support to many different moms. but really who told u to go having many babies with different women? especially when u have a lot of money!? that's why i don't get why some of these rich dudes vote democrat. but anyways, like i said, don't make a babies u can't take care of. because even though sometimes u can get away with it, in some cases, the law protects the women who would otherwise be their victims.

but i think the law should be more stringent. many of these dudes are getting away with it and not paying their child support!!!
I know if I personally get a divorce, the father of my kids will be paying child support that's a fact! yea i will be contributing to my child's upbringing but he has to contribute as well. if he wants to do 50-50 financial support, then the child will be spending most of his/her time with child care because i'm not a babysitter. God forbid all these but just in case it happens. anything can happen.

but one thing i don't understand is why more men don't get custody of their child. more men should be gaining custody. that's one thing i support. then in that case, the woman can be giving the man a share of her salary!!! that might be appealing to u. and it's something i fully support. something i would do.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by spoilt(f): 5:56am On Feb 17, 2010
I am of the opinion that marriage profits men more than women. Somedays I just want to run away and leave loverboy  with his child let them fend for themselves.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by vivaladiva(f): 6:15am On Feb 17, 2010
as far as nigeria is concerned it definately is, but u know wat at one point too, marriage was against the women in britain.
wat happened, the feminist movement rose up and gave women a voice to speak
if nigerian women really want 2 turn the tables around, then they need to take charge of their destiny, it wont be easy but it must be done
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by H2O2: 6:17am On Feb 17, 2010
oyinda.:

i don't get what r u on about?
u clearly haven't read my post
if your struggling to feed urself then don't have unprotected intimacy! it's very simple. it's not like most of these men pay child support anyways. majority of them are way behind on their payments. so the woman carry most of the responsibility instead of just half.
and the man should be contributing more than the woman financially anyways. unless he agrees to share half of the custody with the child(ren). then the finances can be 50-50. because if he shares half of the custody, then he knows how much work/ time it is to take care of children. babysitters are paid for a reason! even daycare centers are expensive for a reason. unless it's govt subsidized where they check the parents income to accept u.
and i'm also sure u learned abt opportunity cost in school. the woman is tied down taking care of children when she could be at work earning more money. while the man is earning to his full capacity!

anyways, what should this single guy be using 100% of his salary on? plz tell me. on booze and making more babies around the country?

in some interview i saw, TI, the guy who made a song with Rhianna some time ago. the dude has SIX kids!! and how old is he?? of course that's going to be a lot of child support to many different moms. but really who told u to go having many babies with different women? especially when u have a lot of money!? that's why i don't get why some of these rich dudes vote democrat. but anyways, like i said, don't make a babies u can't take care of. because even though sometimes u can get away with it, in some cases, the law protects the women who would otherwise be their victims.

but i think the law should be more stringent. many of these dudes are getting away with it and not paying their child support!!!
I know if I personally get a divorce, the father of my kids will be paying child support that's a fact! yea i will be contributing to my child's upbringing but he has to contribute as well. if he wants to do 50-50 financial support, then the child will be spending most of his/her time with child care because i'm not a babysitter. God forbid all these but just in case it happens. anything can happen.

but one thing i don't understand is why more men don't get custody of their child. more men should be gaining custody. that's one thing i support. then in that case, the woman can be giving the man a share of her salary!!! that might be appealing to u. and it's something i fully support. something i would do.

You girls are obviously biased so I won't keep shouting with you again.
Continue playing the "victim" card.  These women are "victims" while these men are the "beneficiaries".  Mschew.  Don't spread your legs for a man who can't make ends meet.  Do you see how many of these kids permeate Maury boasting about sleeping with 50 boys per week, dying to have babies "just because", and they don't care because the "government will take care of it". Better yet get your own danged job and take care of yo gd self.  Quit puncturing holes in condoms expecting men who can't stand on their own two feet to take responsibility for your survival.

Only people I feel sorry for are the unfortunate children.  You women are callous and wicked.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by vivaladiva(f): 6:43am On Feb 17, 2010
but if truth be told nigerian women r as callous as their male counter parts
a woman sees that her son is truely in love with his gal/f n wants to marry her, thats wen she will start listing faults, i dnt like her hair colour, she is not from our tribe,i dont like her dressing, she doesnt kneel when she greets me-----foccusing on very petty insignificant issues----even though this woman clearly loves her son
if the son says, listen mother i love her n she loves me, she will start shouting that the woman has bewithched her son
if the wife no born nko, mama will say she is a witch,the mans sisters, mama n aunts will gather together n persuade the husband even if he doesnt want to,to drive the woman out of her home n marry a second wife
if a woman marries a man with kids---perharps his first wife is dead, she will malthreat the children till dey almost committ suicide
if a man abandones his first wife n kids----the new wife will actively pursue her own interests over n above that of his other kids-----if the man shows no interest in the welfare of the previous kids---halelluya for her
all of una wey dey do aristo nko, u know sey e get wife oooo----but that one no concern u---so long as ur getting wat u want
i really hate going to the sensible sections in nairaland because i really cnt be bothered to type, or to even get my point across, cos as far as am concerned nigeria/africa has a vry long way to go, in truth on average nigerian men n women r effing wicked, and i honestly think they both deserve each other
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by lovemoi2(f): 8:47am On Feb 17, 2010
u might just have a point poster
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by OEO: 8:56am On Feb 17, 2010
Peacettw!

I have not had time to read through, but from yr first post. I discovered u r going thru some hitch in yr marriage. It has happened to me be4.

all did was to take a closer look at myself and tell myself the truth, that I am stressing my wife on certain things, that ordinarily I shd not.
What am saying is that I look more of inward than blame my wife. And as if GOD was waiting for me to accept my wrong, He changed my wife's focus and we make up.

Pray on it and tell yrsef d bitter truth, dont be selfish. dont expect what u r not sure he can give/has d capacity to give. Pls look mat how u better d situation. I pray the devil wl not get yr marriage IJN.

for more contact: jydewalker@yahoo.com
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by Nobody: 8:59am On Feb 17, 2010
It used to be against women when our grandfathers believed the number of wives equals their status of wealth
but now its no more and that definitely depends on the lady. This is an era of female liberation
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by Nobody: 9:31am On Feb 17, 2010
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-399503.0.html

I beg girls should go to work grin

They think about making and saving money for the marriage and family during their young age. They can only use their money 2 buy Shoes, jewelries, and blackberries and cars 4 their self.

Woman should we die 4 u.
just looking out ways 2 finish us grin

1 Like

Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by lovemoi2(f): 9:37am On Feb 17, 2010
kenis:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-399503.0.html

I beg girls should go to work grin

They think about making and saving money for the marriage and family during their young age. They can only use their money 2 buy Shoes, jewelries, and blackberries and cars 4 their self.

what type of girls do u have surrounding you, cos the girls i know and work with aint notting likewhat u just described
you must be referring to those small girls u mingle with
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by jumie(f): 9:50am On Feb 17, 2010
Well, I think its not just in marriage that this gender thing arises.

What about in certain communities where the people do not believe in the education of the girl child. There are some people who tend to believe more in the male child than in the female. e.g When a woman gives birth to only female children she is not celebrated. A woman who gives birth to a male child seems to receive more praises and accolades as if having a male (or a female) child is by her own doing, forgetting that a man had to be involved in the conception.

I want to believe this has a lot to do with mind-set and mentality. When more africans start to understand that a female child is not less human than a male and that a female child could equally achieve the level that a man does in organizations and in government too.

Now, in marriage, majority of women who suffer this so called inhuman treatment from their husbands, you will find, are those who depend solely on their husbands for everything. This is why it is important to teach a girl or woman the benefits of hardwork. Even when the husband forbids the wife from working, she could still find a little biz to do from home (eg. cake baking and events planning etc).

Women in general ought to rise up against inhuman treatment by their male folks. If every woman were as strong minded and strong-willed like Madam Dora Akunyili, do you all know how improved Africa will be?
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by peacettw: 11:52am On Feb 17, 2010
It's been my observation that women here are not encouraged to tnk 4 themselves but to rely totally on what the man says. This includes ur choice of dressing, hair do, make up, the type of food to cook to mention but a few, and this is encouraged. If we re not allowed to tnk for ourselves then y go thru d hassle of putting us through schools, teaching us about equality and independence, allowing the presence of boys as classmates where we see first hand that they re not all that? Why give us this amazing gift when more often than not, it is not utilized. I admire the likes of dora, michelle obama, oprah n women out there who re making their mark. They will always be my inspiration.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by chinedumo(m): 12:57pm On Feb 17, 2010
peacettw:

It's been my observation that women here are not encouraged to tnk 4 themselves but to rely totally on what the man says. This includes your choice of dressing, hair do, make up, the type of food to cook to mention but a few, and this is encouraged. If we re not allowed to tnk for ourselves then y go thru d hassle of putting us through schools, teaching us about equality and independence, allowing the presence of boys as classmates where we see first hand that they re not all that? Why give us this amazing gift when more often than not, it is not utilized. I admire the likes of dora, michelle obama, oprah n women out there who re making their mark. They will always be my inspiration.
YES, u (women) can do all things through Christ which strengthens you.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by Vavavoom(m): 2:48pm On Feb 17, 2010
When you try to rationalise a dividing issue like you have by generalising you are bound to lose sight of what is important. There are good men on both sides of the divide, africa and europe. The same is true for women too. Personally I believe the grass is always green wherever it is watered and every man nay woman can find the desired marital fulfilment if they'd fight to strengthen what makes them rather than try to bring in what divides them.
There are practices I like about the west surely not all of them; and there are practices I disapprove of africans as well. My wife and I go out in the morning and come back in the evening, both of us work for our daily bread. Their's mutual respect and a common ground for harmony based on what each brings to the tablenot neccessarily financial. I should warn here that in my home there's no need for <man> bravado, neither <woman> undue feminism. If I get home first and the plates are leftover, I wash and vice-verfsa. It helps our home alot and I'll be a fool to trade that for any brand of chauvinism.

What am I saying? Instead of talking in general aout marriage being skewed against african women concentrate and win the battle on an individual front. That way one by one parity will be gained. Find your man, negotiate at the beginning values you hold dear<very important> so you won't have to shift the goal post mid way.
In between am a man and my wife and I do have disagreements but we have learnt to our grass can be greener if watered and not neccessarily on the other side.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by bawomolo(m): 4:49pm On Feb 17, 2010
even if the woman spends some of the money on herself, i don't see anything wrong with that as long as she is taking good care of the child.

lol there is nothing wrong with a woman spending child support money on herself? he he, gold-digger anonymous.

won't u be paying her good cash just for the service and her time?

so raising your CHILD is now a SERVICE you deserve to be PAID FOR. some of you women are ridiculous
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by Nija4Life(m): 7:12pm On Feb 17, 2010
Having lived in the west for a while now, it would be fair to say there is no perfect culture, in this case marriage. We can debate this issue all day long but both African and western attitudes to marriage have their strengths and weaknesses.

I like the fact that most of our women respect their husbands, cook for them and ensure the home is well managed. But I don't like the fact some men take this for granted and go around town chasing anything in skirt.
I like the fact that most of our men love their wives and take pride in assuming more financial responsibilities in the home. But I don't like the fact that some of our women make little financial contributions even when they are in a position to do so.
I like the fact that most couples in the west share responsibilities equally and the men are more involved in the raisng of their children. But I don't like the fact that they can give it all up all and head for the divorce courts for the flimsiest of reasons. I'm sure countless of examples abound of the good and bad of both worlds.

Surely we can always learn from the positive aspects of other cultures but to water-down our way of life in favour of everything western is a No-No for me.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by H2O2: 8:33pm On Feb 17, 2010
bawomolo:

lol there is nothing wrong with a woman spending child support money on herself? he he, gold-digger anonymous.

so raising your CHILD is now a SERVICE you deserve to be PAID FOR. some of you women are ridiculous
Lol this should come as no surprise to you. We already have her counterparts asking for "girlfriend allowance" on the romance section. Buncha gold-digging, lazy-boned gyrlxs.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by astuto: 8:50pm On Feb 17, 2010
Let's face the truth. Women and young girls in this country don,t believe in their self-sufficiency and some pple (men and women) actually wish to propagate the same mentality among their daughters and friends.
Can u imagine two women asking me to pay for them on a bus? I asked them why. because i am a man, they replied. and these women are traders, at least 40yrs old. It's the seriousness of the problem.

Once women start seeing themselves as being able to contribute significantly at EVERY level of organization of society and stop moping at the men once a situation arises, that is when the respect for them shall greatly increase. Till then, I am simply sorry.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by oyinda3(f): 3:46am On Feb 18, 2010
bawomolo:

lol there is nothing wrong with a woman spending child support money on herself?  he he, gold-digger anonymous. 


there is nothing wrong with her spending part of child support money on herself as long as she is doing it to the benefit of the child. ex health bills, nutrition, rent etc.
i challenge u to argue this with me.



so raising your CHILD is now a SERVICE you deserve to be PAID FOR.   some of you women are ridiculous

yes it IS a SERVICE.
why do u think women are given paid maternity leaves from work?
the underlying logic behind it is called OPPORTUNITY COST and i'm sure u learned that in intro to economics. it's very simple logic. a child can't pay you for taking care of him/her. so money has to be coming from somewhere to pay for essential needs.
in the case of many single mothers where the fathers are not helping out, the women usually turn to their own mothers or family for help in form of financial assistance or childcare.

read this NYT article to get what i'm talking abt. the single mother basically had to choose between work and her child  risking jail time in the process. the point is, you CAN'T DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME BY YOURSELF!!!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/12/us/12awolmom.html

and yes it sounds ridiculous to you because u are a nigerian guy. subject matters like economics of child rearing and housekeeping generally sound like foreign language to u.
all u need to know is that the US govt policy makers weren't foolish for coming up with child support laws.

H2O2:

Buncha gold-digging, lazy-boned gyrlxs.

no comment
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by bawomolo(m): 4:46am On Feb 18, 2010
yes it IS a SERVICE.
why do u think women are given paid maternity leaves from work?
the underlying logic behind it is called OPPORTUNITY COST and i'm sure u learned that in intro to economics. it's very simple logic. a child can't pay you for taking care of him/her.

of course why not make the child pay you, you can as well force your kids to hawk Ogi or Plantain on the streets in order to pay you for your SERVICES.  I guess those kids FORCED you to bring them into this world.  Jesu christi, motherhood is now a service measured in monetary terms.


there is nothing wrong with her spending part of child support money on herself as long as she is doing it to the benefit of the child. ex health bills, nutrition, rent etc.
i challenge u to argue this with me.

ummm child support is for the CHILD, spousal support is what she gets to spend on herself.   The woman might want to consider getting a job to provide for herself rather than living off her kids like a leech. 

read this NYT article to get what i'm talking abt. the single mother basically had to choose between work and her child  risking jail time in the process. the point is, you CAN'T DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME BY YOURSELF!!!

That's an exception and not the norm.   most single mothers aren't in the army.


and yes it sounds ridiculous to you because u are a nigerian guy. subject matters like economics of child rearing and housekeeping generally sound like foreign language to u.

you are right, i didn't pay attention in economic class to realize women deserved to get paid for the service of being baby factories. You are going into feminazi territory here.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by becomricch: 4:56am On Feb 18, 2010
africa marriages are not against women, Really nobody force the second wife on a woman in africa. They africa women some time decide to be second wife. They know the man is married. And they still marry him. That how africa is set up.


look 80% of africa mothers want thier son to have two wife or more, what does that tell you. They advice thier son for a new wife. This is how africa mothers think. So how can you blame it on africa men. They women know the marry is married because it is accepted in africa society and it cant be changed. Even some of the women becoming second and third wife have degree from Harvard abd yale. What does that tell you.
Re: I Think Marriage In Africa Is Against Women. by Nobody: 5:26am On Feb 18, 2010
I have to be honest- the way African mothers raise their sons does leave a lot to be desired.

and yes, many women will support their son/s taking on other wives and concubines because they dont want to be second place in their (the sons') lives.

these kinds of attitudes stem from poverty and poverty mentality.

marriage in Africa tends not to favour women, for real.  Unless the woman is the man's mother, not his wife.

Hence regular visits to the babalawo and spiritualists are commonplace on the part of women

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