I have seen and also read of many relationships and marriages that started beautiful, so much that friends and family members envied the couples while they begin the journey, but many of the so much envied and once harmonious homes later became horror movie scripts that need the interventions of the Best of Hollywood to cast.


A lot of couples living as roommates whereas they signed a deal to dwell together as soulmates. Some even likened their homes to hell, since the fiery furnace they feel every moment of their marital life pierces into their bone marrows and heat up their hearts and souls per second.


I’ve gotten reasons to be friends with few ladies and there are instances in the cause of our friendships that I wished some could be mine, but with time, I got to know we are better off as friends, I mean ‘friends with mutual benefits’, as we find it difficult to curtail each other's untidiness, yes, you read it right, we all have our dirt stick to us, messes that cannot be taken care of unless we got someone to work on us, I can bet it with you, we all do, no matter how spiritual and regardless our proper upbringing, so don’t nail me unnecessarily.


I’ve read somewhere that during dating or courtship, partners should ‘stop sweeping core weaknesses under the carpet, just because they are desperate to be married’, and I have seen people trying to handle this unavoidably, but they still keep on having misunderstandings in their relationships. But why?


Oh, prayer, it can’t be underestimated or neglected, but some homes still fail. I am not saying God doesn’t answer prayers, because I know He does, but why do we still have broken homes despite this. Our parents enjoy(ed) their homes, at least, I have lived to witness so many stories of old couples staying strong. But the case is no more the same in our days.


Someone said “if you are not comfortable with it and cannot happily live with it, don’t fudge ahead with the marriage”. But what measures the amount of discomfort one could bear? As this really is a major concern to be tabled before marriage.


Many singles can’t account for the number of relationships they have been into all in the course of “searching for the perfect partner”. Past experience(s) made me believe that “a perfect partner doesn’t exist, you just have to do a check and balance, if he/she seems good for you (hopefully after prayers), then, try and work on his/her shortcomings”, I even got that straight from an intimate friend. But above all, the checking and balancing never worked, then I begin to wonder, “what if we are married?”, “are we gonna start consulting lawyers for divorce?” oh no! it is a for better, for worse agreement, then, no going back, as I am not praying to need a solicitor except for the pleasant and laudable reasons.

So, sometimes, I just bless God that I am still single. But wait, I will still have to get married, as I do not belong to the school of thought that marriage isn’t for everybody, no, I would love getting married, as I can’t stand being single forever. What’s holding me down rallies round the course for this write-up.

Many broken homes also had, during their courting days, moments of “how far can we go?”, “are we really good to go?”. They sat down and thought they were good to go, believing they could manage their dirt, but at the long run, they had to end up separated, then I got more agitated, how did our forefathers keep their homes safe and enjoyable?

Then, to the experienced and married couples over here, how have you been able to get along with your partners, against all odds?


Ambassador Aina Oluwagbenga Emmanuel