I dont know much about his background and his people because we dont talk that much, he says hes always busy, and when we talk hes always going to bed, when I call him, ifs its at night he rarely picks, afternoon I work so i cant call him as much as I want to.

Time difference dumbo! If this co'ck and bull story is true, if you are working, the only convenient time for you to call him will be equally inconvenient for him.

4play- thank you, its as true as it can gets without putting his phone number for you to check
But he is not working on weekends, i believe, is that inconvient for him also?
Or that he went to France and we barely spoke? it wasnt business either.
What do you think?

To me I don't like long distance realtionship for once.I have tried it I end up lossing communication gradually.giv him a one last call and ask him wat his take on me I would ask him how he intend making d affair work as in how u two are gonna meet nd mind u,u are not getting any younger.as for me I don't like break ups I like giving chances for change but if he is not prone to change then u can call it off.

i know the problem here ,
if he is what u want why not try out this since u ve confirmed he is a busy guy.

1, be the fool and call him as much as u want and dont complain about him not calling u.

2,after talking with him .ask whn next u wil hear from him or whn he is going to call u if he says tomorrow . tell him to call u tht day

3,since wht u both talk about is how are u and complain, try talking about those things u will like ur man to discuss with u.

4, make him get addicted to ur calls and ur gist . make him ur friend
believe me if he enjoy ur daily gist u will be suprise about the rest ,try out this for a month. if it doesnt work runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

give him a wek to change or walk, plenty men full ground

Sugar Baby,

Love and relationships are tough. I had my fair share of it but you know what I will do? Well, i dont care about the number of times he calls or he is busy.

Step 1: If he claims to be serious, he must by all means fly to the states to visit you under his own personal expenses without havin you chip in a cent. No visit, no relationship!

Step 2: Well, I will tell u step 2 when hedoes Step 1.

Mehnn I love shakara! 

BrwnSugar:

Hello all,
I learned so much from your posts.
I was wondering what can you get from this . .
I am young, 25, and graduate, and working.  and Im involved with a older guy that I met online. We have been cool friends for several months, and he had hinted many times that he wanted more but I always told him no due to I I dont like long-distance relationships, and he lives in Nigeria while I live in New York. The Guy has a business over there and he does fairly well, and never once asked me for anything, but I never want for anything so I dont ask him for anything.
He recently asked to be serious with me because he is looking to marry soon. I finally gave him, but he is nothing I expected!
He barely calls, and even though he comes online, he doesnt email me unless I mail him.
I dont know much about his background and his people because we dont talk that much, he says hes always busy, and when we talk hes always going to bed, when I call him, ifs its at night he rarely picks, afternoon I work so i cant call him as much as I want to.
He once asked for my sisters and friends number incase he couldnt reach me, but I couldnt give it to him, because I have to make sure he is something I would introduce to my family before I introduce my sisters to him.
They are very cynical towards Nigerian men.
But two weeks he traveled to his aunts house in france and not one family member did I speak to!
I can count on one hand how many times we talked, dont even mention emails!
I told him I feel like he doesnt care, and he insists that no one cares for me more than him, but he will show it better if we meet.
How can I want to meet him, when I feel like i barely know him? I told him that I would rather be friends, because I wont have as much expectation, but as a relationship, its lonely and a bit loveless.
We argue about it everyday, and he say he will change but tommorow the same thing.
I am more of a romantic person. I love attention, and adoration. No Im not being prude, its just the way I am, and I realize that some people are different. . I don’t really like telling people what I like in a relationship because it tends for the other person to change their ways in order to please me, when in fact that it is not their typical nature. and then problems arises when the person begins being themselves again and the other person is left unsatisfied again. I dont think I'm asking too much because I have dated other people with busy careers
How can I help him know what I want, or am Im being paranoid?

there are truck loads of nigerians in the states and alot are in school or working and doing well for themselves, if u are that into nigerian men, why not fish for the ones around u where u can actually find out more abt them easily than sum1 in nigeria and still doesn't send u. "if this is the love the old folks use to warn u about, girl u are in trouble, really big trouble" on 2nd thot, i can call 911 for u

[b]Hi BrwnSugar! Welcome to NL. I also live in the states and have also "dated online" before, my advise is do not pursue it. You may say "why? I think he can change blasey blasey" but from my experience with dating "online" alot of personal secrets that we normally get to the bottom of in person go unnoticed and covered up. PUT it like this dating online is like an advertisement online of a hyped up vehicle that is in reality a lemon. Hense we Americans hear stories about men and women who met the "love of their lives" online only to be conned, abused; etc.


As far as him being Nigerian, I've also had experiences dating African men (none of them online tho) I have found that while some are straight forward, alot are TRUELY looking for a woman who is wife material so they put you through certain tests and come off as standoffish, while some really aren't interested and behave as if you are intruding on their time (even if they approached you lol). SOME African men are secretive for several reasons for example I dated a guy from Liberia and to this day I do not know his real age he told me several lies that still do not add up, when I became inquisitive and found out more from his friends/siblings he was quick to become defensive resulting in our break up. We are still friends but I know more about him as a friend than I did as his gf. You have to ask yourself is this really worth it? It may seem exciting but you have to keep your best interest as numero uno at all times! Goodluck[/b] 

Hmmn, do you go with Ebonyeyes/Maedan's gem of wisdom that if he loves you he would call you more or do you stick with 4play/raswagga's school of thought that you should cut him some slack due to the long distance ish or would you rather plump for omega25red/na2day's commonsense advice about the truckloads of men/ladies available elsewhere or those advising you he could be after you for a greencard


Are you Nigerian by any chance, cos it is hard to tell from your posts

rawswagga- thanks for your post, I dont like long relationships either, but who knows where you meet?
Last night I tried explain it to him, and I told him most of the points here. He says he going to try more, I hope so , because I wont wait for him forever.


ego joy- thanks for your post. I have stopped complaining.

platinumnk- thank you, a week or two should be enough.

Gabry- thanks, he says he is busy but we are working on that, but I dont think meeting should be the main factor. What happens when I go back?

na2day?- thank you, I know they are plenty men, and I wasnt looking for him, he just came.

MzDarkSkin- thank you, he does seem secretive at times, I hoping that will change because I am a open person.

Busy_body- Thank you lady, i am learning from all your posts. All advice I take. Time will tell what is his purpose.
I am African American, but I work with a few nigerian ladies, who are nice.

BrwnSugar, you seem like a beautiful person on the inside if you wish to pursue it by all means but just be careful and assertive. He may open up to you over time. 

BrwnSugar:

rawswagga- thanks for your post, I dont like long relationships either, but who knows where you meet?
Last night I tried explain it to him, and I told him most of the points here. He says he going to try more, I hope so , because I wont wait for him forever.


ego joy- thanks for your post. I have stopped complaining.

platinumnk- thank you, a week or two should be enough.

Gabry- thanks, he says he is busy but we are working on that, but I dont think meeting should be the main factor. What happens when I go back?

na2day?- thank you, I know they are plenty men, and I wasnt looking for him, he just came.

MzDarkSkin- thank you, he does seem secretive at times, I hoping that will change because I am a open person.

Busy_body- Thank you lady, i am learning from all your posts. All advice I take. Time will tell what is his purpose.
I am African American, but I work with a few nigerian ladies, who are nice.

i am going to tell u this like i would my own blood sister, run and run as fast as u can, he is playing u and once he gets that control u are done for. i got tons of AA girls for friends who are dating nigerians and other africans and i am yet to fail them in an advice. so plz run and get urself a god sent man than the loser u say u are dating

BrwnSugar:



Gabry- thanks, he says he is busy but we are working on that, but I dont think meeting should be the main factor. What happens when I go back?

When you go back or when he goes back? Well, him visiting you is for you to get to know him face to face and see if you really would like him or not. Dont tell me you only want him online and dont want to make any further actions to get to know him better? Thats if tyou are still interested otherwise if you think that he is a waste of time and is playing around with your emotions than leave and seek elsewhere. Cause truth be told, you should seek someone whom you would really want to be serious with.

The reason why I say he should come visit you its because its safer cause its in your territory.

If based on what you described, I would say the guy is not serious at all but Its hard judging based on what is written. I get alot of misunderstandings when it comes to that section

BrwnSugar, you have a really beautiful heart, and I hate to say this but I think you should drop the guy like he's hot. It sounds like he is manipulating you, or attempting to do so. Don't be gulled.

^ Bingo. She will be ok either way.

@ poster, pips in here advice irrationally. One thing i can c is dat u hvn't meet somebody in person n u don't communicate wat u want to him n u want him to do d exact of wat u want .dat is nt poss. Discuss ur burden wit him n see if he changes.

MzDarkSkin:

^ Bingo. She will be ok either way.

Na me you dey call Bingo?

^^ LMAO! No! In America if someone gets your point across for you we shout "BINGO" as in "EXACTLY!" lol. *tickled*

InesQor:

Na me you dey call Bingo?

hahaha

MzDarkSkin:

^^ LMAO! No! In America if someone gets your point across for you we shout "BINGO" as in "EXACTLY!" lol. *tickled*

haha

InesQor:

Na me you dey call Bingo?

woof woof!

MzDarkSkin:

^^ LMAO! No! In America if someone gets your point across for you we shout "BINGO" as in "EXACTLY!" lol. *tickled*

Oh no, you didn't just explain Bingo to me! Of course I was teasing you!

InesQor:

Oh no, you didn't just explain Bingo to me! Of course I was teasing you!

LIAR!

InesQor:

Na me you dey call Bingo?

MzDarkSkin:

^^ LMAO! No! In America if someone gets your point across for you we shout "BINGO" as in "EXACTLY!" lol. *tickled*

rotflmao



@topic, i don't know what to say at all. just finding it all funny.
if you can't recognize the most obvious signals. how can u recognize the more subtle ones? goodluck!!!!

@ OP run for your live. The signs are there. The guy is not so into you like you are into him.
If he truely loves you, you should be complaining of excess calls rite now and not the other way round. You should be "shacking" him.
But I guess we dont all love the same way, maybe thats his style of loving.
Majority will tell you he doesnt love you, while some will tell you to give him a chance.
But whatever advice you take, just make sure u spent  no kobo of urs on him.
As for me I dont support e-dating and never will. It can be shaddy at times

@ OP: THe guy's obviously not serious, forget him. I'm sure there are lots of interested men in your vicinity who will have time to give you all the attention you need.



BTW, I notice you titled your thread "Nigerian Men". it's not a Nigerian man thingy y'know.

ifedy:

@ OP run for your live. The signs are there. The guy is not so into you like you are into him.
If he truely loves you, you should be complaining of excess calls rite now and not the other way round. You should be "shacking" him.
But I guess we dont all love the same way, maybe thats his style of loving.
Majority will tell you he doesnt love you, while some will tell you to give him a chance.
But whatever advice you take, just make sure u spent  no kobo of urs on him.
As for me I dont support e-dating and never will. It can be shaddy at times

u just broke my e-heart   so u are saying we can not e-date?  

na2day?:

u just broke my e-heart so u are saying we can not e-date?

And am mending your e-heart with an e-kiss

ifedy:

And am mending your e-heart with an e-kiss

awwww, thanks sweetie, can we start our e-dating now?

na2day?:

awwww, thanks sweetie, can we start our e-dating now?

Not until you show me an e-love.

ifedy:

Not until you show me an e-love. 

alright baby, i got all the love u need right here, big and over flowing  i can write u a poem or even a song

na2day?:

alright baby, i got all the love u need right here, big and over flowing i can write u a poem or even a song

Not like Jim Iyke trying to sing.
Or Pete Edochie doing a poem

ifedy:

Not like Jim Iyke trying to sing.
Or Pete Edochie doing a poem

those dudes got nothing on me