i am faced with a very big problem and i need help urgently. 2 marriage proposals. one is very comfortable, rich, cars mansion and has all the good things of life but he is an ARISTO 20 years my senior.

the 2nd is just ok for his level as a struggling young man. the problem now is,, i love the younger man {just 2 years my senior} very much and would love to marry him but am confused, either to choose LOVE OR COMFORT. my friends say am stupid that there is nothing like love anywhere, PLS HELP !!!!!!!!

Sweetheart don't mind your friends, LOVE is a huge thing. I don't knowoo but i personally would advice you to go for love. Come to think of it, what happens if one day you wake up to discover the rich guy's wealth was gone what do you fall back on when there's no love. The average guy dosen't live on sand, does he and riches can come anyday anytime. I also think you two are more compartible when you look at the age difference, you'll get to enjoy the marriage because both of you'll have the opportunity of growing together and seeing life together, with the older guy it might seem more difficult because both of you are on different chapters of life.
To cut this long story short i'll advice you to go for the second one you mentioned. but most importantly listen to your heart, its your future so you should do the picking and no one else, good luck

thanks very much dear, am so so confused.

You don't have to be sweetie, deep deep in your heart, you know the answer, just do it without looking back, it shall be well

i think you should stick with the guy you love and you both should build your life together, i would want to be able to build my life with my husband, stay with him through the rough times and when you finally have all you want, you both have built up the comfort you need.

to be honest with u, i know what i want, i truly love the younger man but my friends are saying that there isnt anything like love anywhere, how can i throw away the good things of life for love in this hard times. MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE SOONNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

I dont think U really need some advice. What U need is a choice. U have to choose bw Love and Luxury. And my sista, I tell U there is no straight answer cos it all depends on the woman. I have seen women value luxury more than love and they got married cos of luxury and that made them happy in thier marriage cos that is all they wanted----the money!! I have also seen women give up luxury for love and were still happy in thier marriage cos all they wanted in marriage was to be loved, cherished and appreciated.So it all depends on U-----wat do U value most?

@ uche2nna,

thanks, i value love but i dont want to make a mistake that i will regret for the rest of my life, my friends would say, i told u. i pray my choice walks out for me.

Hey U do not have to take to heart wat ur friends r telling U. They r not the one getting married to the man for the rest of thier lives. They r not the one who is going to be sleeping on the same bed with the man. At the end of the day it boils down to U, U and only U. Choose wat makes me[b] U [/b] happy. If it is money that makes U happy, then Bleep whoever is telling U shit about love cos U aint gonna be satisfied with that.If it is love that makes U happy then bollocks to whoever is talking to U about finances cos that will not keep U happy. But remenber life is not a graph with x and y cordinates such that if x equals this then y must equal that. Life is more complicated than that.Believe me, whether U choose the rich guy or the poor guy U will still encounter problems that will test ur inner strenght. It is all left for U to make it work. No one decision is safe and secure that is Y it is life. I have seen a lady who married cos of money but then some years into the marriage, the hubby's biziness collapsed and the money dried out.There is also this case of a lady marrying a young man when he was a churchrat. Years of toiling and saving by the lady helped in building the man's bizness empire. How did the man thank her. Well he exchanged her for a younger model! Basically he kicked her out and brought in a younger woman. Life is not a graph, girl!!! Choose wat is best for U and work at it!!!!!

@ uche2nna

marriage is truly an institution where u learn afresh, from the stratch, there is no perfect way to go about it or handle it, it only takes the grace of GOD and his wisdom to succeed in marriage.

thanks.

20 years your senior and you don't love him - that is a bad combination because you will be miserable for a long, long time.
The younger one is better for you because if you love him like you say you do, you can struggle together and make it. At least you'll know the pleasure of loving and being loved back. Girl watch your steps and don't do something that will cause you to regret.

@ j-girl

thanks for taking time to respond. am having a serious rethink.

go for the younger guy. u guys will grow old together. u'll have lovely momories . But the old man is not a good idea think abt this, is his money going to attend all ur needs. it's even a worse idea if u'll have to be his second wife or sth.

i have a friend that has the same story u have and she decided to marry the old man. She said with her mouth tht she regreted it and till now she's still in the mess. once u are married to the man u'll have to face all the prob that goes with it urself.

please u have the right to be happy and that's one thing the money cant get u (look at Lady Diana)
life is short, enjoy it happily

@ eniola1310

thanks so much, its well noted.

dont mind ur friends dere is a proverb that says in yoruba dat"what u work 4 will be with u 4 ever " wat of after marrying d rich guy a woman comes claiming to be the wife and the rich guy agreein u must leave cos wen he was sufferin u were not there that u must take since he said so leaveing u with no choice but to do so. i will advice u stick to the poor watever guy cos love is better than comfort wen u have love u have everything

KOYO:

@ uche2nna

marriage is truly an institution where u learn afresh, from the stratch, there is no perfect way to go about it or handle it, it only takes the grace of GOD and his wisdom to succeed in marriage.

thanks.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING

Uche2nna:

I dont think U really need some advice. What U need is a choice. U have to choose bw Love and Luxury. And my sista, I tell U there is no straight answer cos it all depends on the woman. I have seen women value luxury more than love and they got married cos of luxury and that made them happy in thier marriage cos that is all they wanted----the money!! I have also seen women give up luxury for love and were still happy in thier marriage cos all they wanted in marriage was to be loved, cherished and appreciated.So it all depends on U-----wat do U value most?

EXACTLY, CHOICE is it. Not ADVICE. In as much as anyone wld opt for comfort anytime, we cannot over emphasize the advantages love brings. Love is the reason ppl r alive n even live longer, n not wealth. Wouldnt u prefer a situation whereby u're soooo depressed n d one u love comes by, gives u some words of encouragement n supports u to any extent, than when u're depressed, u're flown to hawii, n when u return d depression continues. So my dear, the fact that u know u love sm1 n ofcourse i suppose he loves u too, has it. REMEMBER, NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT, KOYO.

Uche2nna:


Hey U do not have to take to heart wat your friends r telling U. They r not the one getting married to the man for the rest of thier lives. They r not the one who is going to be sleeping on the same bed with the man. At the end of the day it boils down to U, U and only U. Choose wat makes me[b] U [/b] happy. If it is money that makes U happy, then bleep whoever is telling U poo about love cos U aint gonna be satisfied with that.If it is love that makes U happy then bollocks to whoever is talking to U about finances cos that will not keep U happy. But remenber life is not a graph with x and y cordinates such that if x equals this then y must equal that. Life is more complicated than that.Believe me, whether U choose the rich guy or the poor guy U will still encounter problems that will test your inner strenght. It is all left for U to make it work. No one decision is safe and secure that is Y it is life. I have seen a lady who married cos of money but then some years into the marriage, the hubby's biziness collapsed and the money dried out.There is also this case of a lady marrying a young man when he was a churchrat. Years of toiling and saving by the lady helped in building the man's bizness empire. How did the man thank her. Well he exchanged her for a younger model! Basically he kicked her out and brought in a younger woman. Life is not a graph, girl!!! Choose wat is best for U and work at it!!!!!

I agree with u Uche, smtimes u struggle with a man n u pays u by throwing u out when he becomes stabilized. You see, such men r 'conscienceless'

Uche2nna:


Hey U do not have to take to heart wat your friends r telling U. They r not the one getting married to the man for the rest of thier lives. They r not the one who is going to be sleeping on the same bed with the man. At the end of the day it boils down to U, U and only U. Choose wat makes me[b] U [/b] happy. If it is money that makes U happy, then bleep whoever is telling U poo about love cos U aint gonna be satisfied with that.If it is love that makes U happy then bollocks to whoever is talking to U about finances cos that will not keep U happy. But remenber life is not a graph with x and y cordinates such that if x equals this then y must equal that. Life is more complicated than that.Believe me, whether U choose the rich guy or the poor guy U will still encounter problems that will test your inner strenght. It is all left for U to make it work. No one decision is safe and secure that is Y it is life. I have seen a lady who married cos of money but then some years into the marriage, the hubby's biziness collapsed and the money dried out.There is also this case of a lady marrying a young man when he was a churchrat. Years of toiling and saving by the lady helped in building the man's bizness empire. How did the man thank her. Well he exchanged her for a younger model! Basically he kicked her out and brought in a younger woman. Life is not a graph, girl!!! Choose wat is best for U and work at it!!!!!

 I agree  with u Uche, smtimes u struggle with a man n u pays u by throwing u out when he becomes  stabilized. You see, such men r 'conscienceless'. But not all wld act same way. thats y we need God Almighty involved, all d time.

@poster, 20 yrs difference is quite alot!! Stick with the struggling young man and struggle together.

go for the man not what he has.  the one you love may become rich while the confortable one may become a begger, which man to possessions- will make you happier in the long run. since you are considering both proposals (and assuming dating each) i will have to say you actualy love neither of them for if you did the decision would be obvious and would never have been in this predicament in the first place