samuelk:

then after receiving a thorough beating from mumC,she would offer you panadol tablets

unno soo many people say this?

its surprising!

This thread has been hilarious. Been laffing my heart out!, lol

I remember this period when petrol and kerosene prices had just seriously gone up and my mum was seriously complaining about it. In order to reduce her worries, I said "shebi, it is just kerosene price that has gone up not cooking gas, that she can still buy her cooking gas now without stress na"

Her response: Alfa jona on bere irungbon! Meaning: The Alfa got burnt and now you are asking where's the Alfa's beard, lol,

I remember when there was this rumour about killer beans my dad went out and got some beans without those ants in it we were all scared and told him to abbandon the project of beans for lunch but he refused. So, when the beans was cooked he called for us to give some beans to our darling dog murphy to test if it was truly poisinous we refused and then he said ok bring some for me to try and we gave him some. The poor man was sad he said so you people refused to give murphy and you agreed to give me? we said well you have the ability to reject it while murphy doesnt I felt sorry for him though because for a long time he thought we dint love him .

I also remember once when we gave dad eba with a lot of seed (koko) the man opened the bowl and screamed who gave me this food? Momsie said what is wrong with the food? he replied it has too much eyes its doing ALL EYES ON ME. We laff tire that day wondering who taught him tupac all eyes on me.

I miss him sooooo much

Let someone help me! the chicken i planed to kill for Easter  got loose and ran to a church nearby and started praying saying "i shall not die but live to see people celebrating Easter " advise me!!!
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My sisters and I prefer asking our dad for money because my mum will ask for all the details on how you intend spending the money even if it's N5. We just go straight to my dad when we dont have any good explanation.

My mum sometimes says random funny things. There was a day my sister and I did something and my mum was like: "How wont you people do that when you both came out from the same trousers?" I just laugh whenever I remember that statement

There was a day my parents were having an argument over an issue that concerned the family and as the first child, my dad wanted me to join in. My mum was like I should leave the room, my dad said I should stay. I didnt know which to do, and considering the fact that I wanted to listen to the gist, I put one leg in the room and the other outside. That way I obeyed both of them  

When we do something good my mum will call us by our pet names, but if other wise it will be your normal name with a very strong voice

let someone help me! the chicken i planed to kill for Easter got loose and ran to a church nearby and started praying saying "i shall not die but live to see people celebrating Easter" advise me!!!
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Ok Dad and mum eating Eba from thesame plate is a recipe for disaster. Mum was brought up to eat the available meat after finishing the eba, our dear dad wasn't brought up that way. . . you know the rest!

Then, you will hear mum saying baba T, ki le leyi (what is this?) dad will say[i] Egungun ni[/i] (Bone)

So loving this thread!

My mum is the expert gist savourer. She has this habit of prolonging juicy gist till you are gasping (literally) for more. And she loves gisting while she's eating. She'll start like,
Mum: do you know that my friend, ( she moulds her eba and swallows)
me: mummy which friend? Which friend now, which,

Mum: don't you know that my friend that, (makes another eba dips in soup and swallows)

me: i don't know the one you are talking about. What did she do? Did anything happen to her? What about her, what,

Mum: don't you know that my friend, (swallows),

Me: forget the name, what happened?, And it goes on like this for hours(or so it seems). Before she finishes her gist, you are emotionally spent! And it may something she told you before. Sometimes i feel like screaming WILL YOU STOP EATING AND GET YOUR STORY OVER WITH!

It has actually been a while i laughed this hard on Nairaland, you guys are the best.

Hahaha, this thread is hilarious!

Any bad character that me or my brother have, my mum will always say we inherited from my dad or learnt it from him. She never sees a fault in anything she does and talks about how none of us followed her flawless footsteps.

One day when i was like 12 years, my mum came back from work and was jisting in the sitting room with two of her friends and my aunt. i came and was ransacking her bag for goodies and then i came across a pack of Gold Cirlce. i brought it out and was asking "mummy, what is this?"
She ignored me and continued jisting but i was so persistent "mummy, what is this drug for? i always see it in the chemist"
She then answered "its used to prevent head ache from children like u! My friend drop that thing before i find that koboko!"

when i look back now i cant stop laffing

Growing up we had a large poultry farm. We often kept a few special birds for our own consumption and each bird had a special name.
One day a friend came visiting and he answered the phone. You can imagine the consternation on his face when my mum left this message
"please ask them to kill the big rasheedi, we are having guests on Sunday"

^^lol. i still live with my parents so my story is much more recent. it happened last night. i was going out at night and my mom was like ill be waiting up for you. i was laughing and joking about it with my sis. i went out had my fun and came back around four unlocked everything quietly and locked em back quietly and i was heading for my room when i heard my moms voice from upstairs 'david is that you?'

Mum: my dear wat wil u lyk 2hav as ur breakfast? Dad: EBA.
Mum:wow wat a hot aftanun,swettie wat wil u lyk 2hav as ur lunch?
Dad: EBA.
Mum:hmm, Wat a cul evnin.Honi,wat about dinner?
Dad: EBA.
Son: gosh.Eba,Eba,Eba.Dad y do u lyk eba lyk dis.
Dad: EBA.
Dad: BALANCED DIET.

anytime we make fun of my mum back then she replies by saying baba eee ajai lon ba wi.

also i remembered when i stole a tin of milo back then and hid under the bed and finished the whole tin and by next morning i had tooth ache as in i had a hole in my tooth. my mama made me carry the pain for 1 week b4 a visit to the dentist.   But the woman show me pepper. ooo as per boarding house student my papa go send  her money to buy milo and milk for us to secondary skool as in biggest size. the woman go go buy pronto or richoco and sachet cowbell. 

funny thread

This thread just made my evening!
still laughing real hard at : The good morning africa cup, now that is really funny.
Dont remember any funny thing my mum used to do, all i remember is the cane she loved to swing on us!
My dad is too serious , remember we had a family meeting once when i was like 16 n we were all asked to speak up n speak your mind! cant remember which of my sisters said something like why doesnt daddy play around n joke around with us, guess his response, i'm not a JESTER! So u see, lol
Ok, maybe this is funny, they call a family meeting n ask us to speak up , come up with suggestions and its always useless cos they still end up doing whatever they wanna do anyways!

1. One day my dad came bk hungry and tired. It was unfortunate dat the food wasn't yet done. So he went to pluck pawpaw dwnstairs,he pluckd an unripe one ,so we were tinkin he wnts 2kip it as usual 4 it 2ripe,al of a sudden he startin peelin it nd eatin, we were suprisd and askd him y, he said he sudenly startd havin liknes 4 unripe pawpaw,dat his doctor has confirmd it. We al startd laughin cos we knew he ws hungry. 2.One night,we were al at d parlour watchin a T.v programme, my dad ws sleepin and at same time farterin. It ws loud and ws comin up more like wen 1 is startin a generator,we al startd laughin,our laughter woke him,and he said y re u girls laugin like untrained girls eh! We had 2 hold d laughter til ma junior broda bursted out wit laughter sayin, daddy, i yuru ahuru. We al releasd out another laughter. My dad nw said Unu wu ndi ara and left.

@Dreamm, pls translate

u guyz have just made me wake up my entire house to read this thread, thnx keep it coming.

@tayo. Daddy, i yuru ahuru means daddy,u mess while Unu wu ndi ara means U pple are mad.

samuelk:

then after receiving a thorough beating from mumC,she would offer you panadol tablets

Same thing here.
My people say make we beat the child then hug the child lol

ayettymama:

unno soo many people say this?

its surprising!

lol ki lo n surprise e?
Them neva beat you offer you acetaminophen? If you say no, then na lie because I know which state them raise you

My mum used to give us a curfew of 7pm to go inside and quit playing with other kids. One fateful day, I fell into a large gutter and a very sharp stone slashed my leg. My mum gladly tortured me with boiling palmoil and red hot knife.

Kgdavid:

^^lol. i still live with my parents so my story is much more recent. it happened last night. i was going out at night and my mom was like ill be waiting up for you. i was laughing and joking about it with my sis. i went out had my fun and came back around four unlocked everything quietly and locked em back quietly and i was heading for my room when i heard my moms voice from upstairs 'david is that you?'

Awwwwwwwwww

o boy! this thread is da bomb o. ppl wey dey arnd me here don dey luk me say abi i don dey kolo ni cuz i just cant control d lafta. can remmba dose days when mum c wuld dose off durng nite prayers whyl coordinatng it and we would all b tired of praying 1 prayer pt 4 too long a tym. i wuld just suddenly shout a loud AMEN! 2 wake ha up. my sista wuld gv me a thumb up 4d idea. but mum c stil continues d prayer and then sleeps agn until we all decide 2 end d praya ourselves.

I think our parents are the same, i have experienced a lot of this things

lmao like a ,

I remember when we were banned from watching TV, when dad gets back he just uses his hand to touch the back of the TV, but we quickly devised a method to solve that problem, we just wet towels and and use  to cover the back of the tv while we watch sometimes we took turns to fan the TV.

Getting new electronics in the  house was a nightmare back then because problems were bound to arise. Remember when dad  bought our first dvd player in-fact we prayed night and day that robbers come to the house to steal it. Believe me for months this guy refused to remove the nylon that came with the dvd. Once he hears a knock on the door my old man would rush a cloth over the dvd and put one iron on top.

If something got spoilt in the house he always has someone to blame God especially help you if you were the last person  to use the stuff that got spoilt. There was a day he put the tv on and I think the light fluctuated and the tv got burnt, see everybody thanking their stars,that he was the one that put the tv on himself. Guess what? he still found a way of channeling the blame to us.
We used to tell my dad that if he had come as a woman he would have gotten divorced so many times because his talk was just too much back then, Kai he can talk for 2 straight hours without mincing  words
lol

Sisi Eko:

This thread just made my evening!
still laughing real hard at : The good morning africa cup, now that is really funny.
Dont remember any funny thing my mum used to do, all i remember is the cane she loved to swing on us!
My dad is too serious , remember we had a family meeting once when i was like 16 n we were all asked to speak up n speak your mind! cant remember which of my sisters said something like why doesnt daddy play around n joke around with us, guess his response, i'm not a JESTER! So u see, lol
Ok, maybe this is funny,[b] they call a family meeting n ask us to speak up , come up with suggestions and its always useless cos they still end up doing whatever they wanna do anyways! [/b]

Are you sure we are not related?

Amya:

So loving this thread!

My mum is the expert gist savourer. She has this habit of prolonging juicy gist till you are gasping (literally) for more. And she loves gisting while she's eating. She'll start like,
Mum: do you know that my friend, ( she moulds her eba and swallows)
me: mummy which friend? Which friend now, which,

Mum: don't you know that my friend that, (makes another eba dips in soup and swallows)

me: i don't know the one you are talking about. What did she do? Did anything happen to her? What about her, what,

Mum: don't you know that my friend, (swallows),

Me: forget the name, what happened?, And it goes on like this for hours(or so it seems). Before she finishes her gist, you are emotionally spent! And it may something she told you before. Sometimes i feel like screaming WILL YOU STOP EATING AND GET YOUR STORY OVER WITH!

tayo4me:

My sisters and I prefer asking our dad for money because my mum will ask for all the details on how you intend spending the money even if it's N5. We just go straight to my dad when we dont have any good explanation.

My mum sometimes says random funny things. There was a day my sister and I did something and my mum was like: "How wont you people do that when you both came out from the same trousers?" I just laugh whenever I remember that statement

There was a day my parents were having an argument over an issue that concerned the family and as the first child, my dad wanted me to join in. My mum was like I should leave the room, my dad said I should stay. I didnt know which to do, and considering the fact that I wanted to listen to the gist, I put one leg in the room and the other outside. That way I obeyed both of them  

When we do something good my mum will call us by our pet names, but if other wise it will be your normal name with a very strong voice

I was successfully suppressing the laughter until I saw this posts
You people should not allow me wake the whole house ooo
just recovering from an illness and this has really really helped me
LMAFAO

i can't stop laughing

back when i was in nigeria
it's a usual thing 4 us all to sit @ d balcony in d evenings
so dis fateful evening we were all there as usual
so suddenly we just heard a very tiny sound
which came along wiv a nasty smell
who polluted d air-lo and behold it was dad
so we all couldn't laugh but my kid brother couldn't hold it
so he busted out just like dat,dad felt so embarrassed

do you know d reply he gave my bro,

dad:i messed u're laughing in those when our fathers do
something like this u greet them,so what about u do i laugh @
u when u're going 2 spread ur wet bed every morning,at polluting is better
than dat

infact we all laughed like it would be our last

Mum used to cook up fallacies just instill fear into us. You must not whisper during the noon time else you get carried away by evil spirits. You must not play in the rain else you get electrocuted, She also beats us with 'orogun' (a wooden stick used for preparing food), There was this time I was playing football in the bedroom and I broke almost all the china she received as gifts during her wedding. I received the beating of my life,

chinesedoll:


I was successfully suppressing the laughter until I saw this posts
You people should not allow me wake the whole house ooo
just recovering from an illness and  this has really really helped me
LMAFAO

Eyah, ruki, hope you get better quickly

mayor007:

My mum used to give us a curfew of 7pm to go inside and quit playing with other kids. One fateful day, I fell into a large gutter and a very sharp stone slashed my leg. My mum gladly tortured me with boiling palmoil and red hot knife.

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, you are lying!!!

rotfl @ falling in gutter, used to happen to me

LOL @ BALANCED DIET!!!!kaiiiii

i think ur from ekiti!