Nigerian society/families put pressures on ladies to get pregnant before wedlock, supposedly to avert a childless marriage.
Is it sensible for ladies to bow to those pressures

Since when do Nigerians have a choice when it comes to such life changing situation? Heck they can't even go against their parent's wish and marry who they want out of love, Naija parents have to endorse it and have the final say, as usual

I def wont

Well you can't blame them, there are lots of people in childless marriages, not that i approve of it.

such is the calamity of so long life lol

i guess you can say they don't want their family or their son to bear the whips and scorns of time

Ayemokhia:

Nigerian society/families put pressures on ladies to get pregnant before wedlock, supposedly to avert a childless marriage.
Is it sensible for ladies to bow to those pressures

Very insensible and dumb argument, there are no guarantees in life.

I won't blame any man who wants her fiancee to get pregnant before he marrys her, my reasons are stated below.
The rate at which people engage in premarital intimacy without using protective, is alarming, in the process they get pregnant, they ain't ready to mother and father a child they decided to abort the pregnancy in the processing of doing such the womb is removed, it's an innocent man, who knows nothing about the issue, would now get married to the same girl and start praying for a miracle to happen, miracles happen though, think about the pain of being childless, if you think about that you'll definatly want your fiancee to be pregnant before you marry her.

When am set for marriage I'll follow suit!!!

@galatico
I totally disagree with you.  I don't think that there is any justification whatsoever for such a shameful thing. Marriage is for better or for worse. Besides if you suspect her of having a bad past why marry her at all. It clearly shows that the guy doesn't love the girl.

This is just an uncivilized way of life and any family that does that (including the girls family) are worse than animals.

The part that beats my imagination is, how are you going to tell the girl : "babe i love you o, but i think you have been a 'dog' in the past and I don't think you have a womb. So my father and your father has agreed that you should get pregnant first so I'll know you are not a barren 'dog'."

galatico:

I won't blame any man who wants her fiancee to get pregnant before he marrys her, my reasons are stated below.
The rate at which people engage in premarital intimacy without using protective, is alarming, in the process they get pregnant, they ain't ready to mother and father a child they decided to abort the pregnancy in the processing of doing such the womb is removed, it's an innocent man, who knows nothing about the issue, would now get married to the same girl and start praying for a miracle to happen, miracles happen though, think about the pain of being childless, if you think about that you'll definatly want your fiancee to be pregnant before you marry her.

When am set for marriage I'll follow suit!!!

If you are worried about fertility, there are tests you can do! But asking a woman to get pregnant before you can marry her is just wrong . . what if something goes wrong, she stands the risk of having a child outside wedluck!

I have a friend who got pregnant for a guy because he insisted and a day to the wine carrying, he died in accident. She was barely 20!

That taught me a big lesson . .

Flashfast1:

@galatico
I totally disagree with you.  I don't think that there is any justification whatsoever for such a shameful thing. Marriage is for better or for worse. Besides if you suspect her of having a bad past why marry her at all. It clearly shows that the guy doesn't love the girl.

This is just an uncivilized way of life and any family that does that (including the girls family) are worse than animals.

The part that beats my imagination is, how are you going to tell the girl : "babe i love you o, but i think you have been a 'dog' in the past and I don't think you have a womb. So my father and your father has agreed that you should get pregnant first so I'll know you are not a barren 'dog'." 

Ujujoan:

If you are worried about fertility, there are tests you can do! But asking a woman to get pregnant before you can marry her is just wrong . . what if something goes wrong, she stands the risk of having a child outside wedluck!

I have a friend who got pregnant for a guy because he insisted and a day to the wine carrying, he died in accident. She was barely 20!

That taught me a big lesson . .

I won't want to to suffer for the sins of another person. Do you think it's fair for you to suffer for the sins of another person? Remember marriage is forever till death do you part, won't take the risk of being childless.

galatico:



I won't want to to suffer for the sins of another person. Do you think it's fair for you to suffer for the sins of another person? Remember marriage is forever till death do you part, won't take the risk of being childless.

If child bearing is the main reason for getting married, then you may as well get a segregate or go to one these of clinics and get a "test tube baby"
Come to think of it, what if the man is the one that is impotent (or is that not a possibility)? Besides, if you want to be certain that she can bear children why not take her to the hospital and run the necessary tests? Isn't that more civilized and assuring?
Lets stop living in the 18th century. The world has gotten a lot more advanced and civilized.

In response to the part of your statement bolded above, I'll tell you: No body holy pass. If you suspect her that much and you feel you distrust her because of the things she has done in her past, that means you don't love her. I tell you, love is blind to the past. Besides how are you sure that your own past is better than hers.
In fact in the business of marriage, the word "I" is substituted with the word "we" from the moment you say "I do". So saying you are not ready to suffer with her means you are not ready to marry her in the first place

like its child bearing dat makes a happy home there are some stupid cultural practices i put my feet down n say i cant be involved in dis.christ should be d foundation of my marriage n not babies .we r partners in marriage n not some baby making factory.jeezzzz .its either i dont get pregnant n if d pregnancy issue is becoming a big issue i call of d wedding.period!!!!

^^^ Of course christ can be the foundation of your marriage. That wouldn't prevent kids from being the joy and blessings of life and a gift to your marriage. you can always have both.

Ayemokhia:

Nigerian society/families put pressures on ladies to get pregnant before wedlock, supposedly to avert a childless marriage.
Is it sensible for ladies to bow to those pressures

Considering the rate at which Naija babes cop abortions. . . .I think it's a safe practice to get em pregnant before wedding.

Ladies beware don't succumb to these pressure. But cases have shown that most ladies (not all) who are childless during marriage are as a result of iniquities they did in their youth.i.e abortions,Home wrecking,envy and wickedness. stay away from these things so that your marriage will surely be blessed.

Ladies beware don't succumb to these pressure. But cases have shown that most ladies (not all) who are childless during marriage are as a result of iniquities they did in their youth.i.e abortions,Home wrecking,envy and wickedness. stay away from these things so that your marriage will surely be blessed.

So its always the ladies fault for the non-pregnancy? what about the Man? Studies have shown that men have weak sperms but no most of the Nigerian men are misogynistic, chauvinistic bastwerads so it cant be their fault now can it?

Similar to Nigerian men and mother-in-laws crucifying women for having only female kids when infact its the mans sperm that determine the s3x of the child. We've gotta do better and educate ourselves.

In as much as I understand the reason for such conditions, any man dtgives me that criterion, will dropped asap.

Interesting thread,

It is unfortunate how african parents always want to ocupy the positn of God in the life of their children, trying to enforce a future they can not sustain. What if u're pregnant & problem hapen after ur weding? So why not put d future in the hand of ur maker God. We should stop bowing to the presure of family on isues like this,