kitlady02:

in summary his shuld be paying 4 the intimacy, errr. . . . . .if dat were to be a job wat wuld they call it. . .

it wud be called
1) Ashewo
2) Ho
3) Prostitute
4) Lady if the night

Why does she need her bf to buy her stuff, cant she get it for herself?

If he gives out of kindness then its cool, if she needs the help and cant turn else where
then she could ask him i guess.

Tee_Jay:

very simple is he a responsible man? does he take care of his parents?

That i cant say! what other way do i know?

Missy B:

It's the truth anywayz. You are in 4 his money else, it wouldn't be much of a problem.
He has to give You money b'cuz You both have sèx? Define Prostitution, please.

Now i didnt say we had or have sex, all i made a reference to it was to show that there are some things parents cant do for u even if they wanted to, if all we had they could give us, we wudnt need friends, husbands, pastors, colleagues, boyfriends and co. My point there is that everyone has his or her place in ur life etc
Now i am nt in for his money whether u believe it or not.His talk is tending towards marriage and i dnt want to get married to a man who doesnt feel its his responsiblity to take care of me financially. u might be in for the independent stuff bt the reality is that evryone has his role to play in whatever relationship u have. in the norma marriage setting, a man takes care of his wife and n=her needs while the woman does his chores for him. now lets assume that its the independent woman, she plays her role and his own and believe me, they get resentful after a while.

What are you lot on about?
He is using that money to control and put you on check! A man should be able to cater to his gf without her asking for it. It isn't about being after his money but the dude is stingy and controlling. Sure she may have her own money but who wants to date a man that won't even take you out every once in a while?

Dear Baba Geezy i mean Baba God please guide, protect and deliver me from all INEC (I neva chop) girls such as the poster of this topic. Amen

hailtopsy:

i think u re just a poor 'baby', stop running mouth here ok?, he doesn't gimme?? bla bla
Pako!!, no go find work, u don't even have a slight focus to life,
already condemning your marital life, simple, u got no good head on your shoulders.

Insults are nt neccessary! state ur opinion, everyone is entitled to one!

Tee_Jay:

it wud be called
1) Ashewo
2) Ho
3) love-peddler
4) Lady if the night

Cheerie:

Now i didnt say we had or have intimacy, all i made a reference to it was to show that there are some things parents cant do for u even if they wanted to, if all we had they could give us, we wudnt need friends, husbands, pastors, colleagues, boyfriends and co. My point there is that everyone has his or her place in your life etc

Thts my only reply to those whao are making an issue out of this!

chika98:

What are you lot on about?
He is using that money to control and put you on check! A man should be able to cater to his gf without her asking for it. It isn't about being after his money but the dude is stingy and controlling. Sure she may have her own money but who wants to date a man that won't even take you out every once in a while?

Thank u Chika, i was wondering where all the realistic Nigerians went to! I never said i didnt have my own money bt must i ask?

i don't think a girl should ask her boyfriend for money. if the guy wants to give let him do so, but don't ask.

puskin:

@Cheerie
Wat gives U the impression that your current boyfriend is even considering U for marriage. . . . , . . All this one U are busy talking about collecting. . .collecting. . , collecting from your BF. What is wrong in giving . . . .giving. . . .giving to your BF!!!!.

He is, dear because he said so and is making plans to see my people and thats d main reason why i m concerned abt that character of his.
And i dnt collect, collect, collect as u say, i do a lot of giving too!
And did i even need to justify myself to u?

A-40:

Dear Baba Geezy i mean Baba God please guide, protect and deliver me from all INEC (I neva chop) girls such as the poster of this topic. Amen

A-40, i m well fed, thank u.

GL:

i don't think a girl should ask her boyfriend for money. if the guy wants to give let him do so, but don't ask.

Thank u

lol

@A-40!you got me cracked up really bad.
what the hell is INEC(i never chop)lol.lmao.

Deep Soul:

@Poster
U no happy say when u ask, e dey give you. Some pple no dey give at all at all, if u like ask from now till next century, dem no go answer.
For me, I'm almost torn about this issue of money btwn men and women.
I am a strong advocate for women being independent and being able to take care of their financial needs without the help of a man. However, I see nothing wrong in the man assisting from time to time and vice versa. In my opinion, when you care about sm1, u shd automatically care about the needs of that person.
E.g, I care for my siblings. I am automatically worried about their welfare (even if they have parents ). When I go out shopping or smthn, I end up shopping for pple I care about. In the same vain, it is unbecoming of a man to say he loves me and not even care about my welfare. I once dated sm1 like that and at the time, I dnt know if it was blind love or being naive that made me not notice. Sometimes, it's not even giving me actual money that matters. Asking me if I'm ok is sometimes enough. Bt some pple no just send.
Having said all these sha, poster, I advise you to start thinking of ways to become productive. It's not just about the money, there's just that satisfaction that comes from making your own money. Regardless of how much a man "spends" on me, it can never be as sweet as money I worked for. Ther's just that self fulfillment. . . . . . .
And by the way, since u say he's planning to marry you, who knows? He jst might be pre-occupied with thots of wedding money and after-wedding money. . . just to ensure your comfort. . . .Look @ d big picture . . . . . .

Thank u, ur post has really looked at it from all angles and made me c things in a different light! My own issue is not the money bt the thot like u rightly said, i only said he can think of my welfare and realise that he could help out instead of waiting to ask abt it in plain terms.
i actually am working and earning my money but i just feel he can be more proactive.
Thx once agin!

Someone wrote this note on facebook recently. Pls read (its a bit long tho) Bt its hilarious  

[b]GOLD DIGGERS:

Every woman is a Gold digger. We just use different tools, some use cranes, some tractors, others straws and the rest, spoons.
The above statement was once my face book status message and I sincerely doubt that my profile page has been any busier after that day.
When I was younger I believed in unconditional love.

I dated guys with empty pockets, stingy a$$ dudes who would rather pretend to be broke than loan their mother 10 bucks. But it didn’t matter to me. Everything I have ever wanted, I have bought with my own money. So whether a guy spent money on me or not, had a good car or not, or lived with his parents at the age of 30, I wasn’t bothered. Instead I believed in ‘building with my man’. The naïve little girl in me actually believed that ‘if you are with a man when he has nothing, he will always remember you when he has something’.

Fast forward a couple of years and throw in the speed bumps and punches of life, and I am a completely different person.

Well maybe not totally different, just wiser and smarter. Wise enough to know that a stingy man in his 30’s will be an even stinger man in his 40’s and that the only loyal mammals on earth are dogs not humans. Smart enough to realize that it is important for a man to have his own things and be financially capable of taking care of me and our future children and not be ashamed to let him know that his ability to fulfill those roles impact greatly on our relationship. Let’s be honest girls, men waste no time in letting us know what they want in the kitchen or in the sack. They don’t bat an eyelid when they say ‘oh this girl is not my type’, ‘she is too fat’, ‘she is too thin’, ‘she isn’t yellow enough’, ‘she can’t cook’, ‘I don’t like her mother’, ‘she is an aje butter’. So why is it that when we are seeking to legitimately secure our future and those of our children we are automatically labeled derogatory terms such as ‘gold digger’.




However with every good bunch of grapes there is always the sour one which makes you think the rest maybe just as bad! Take for instance a guy I went on a date with some time last year (lets call him Uche). We met up at a swanky bar in London and he was absolutely stunned when after scanning through the drinks menu filled with expensive drinks that I opted for lemonade (£5.60) instead of something pricier. He told me of a girl who he had met for the first time at a similar priced bar who had ordered a bottle of Louis Roederer Crystal Rose Champagne on his tab—a £500 bottle of champagne. Although he claimed he could easily afford it, he made it clear to her that he thought it was outrageous for her to order such an expensive drink. The poor girl was so embarrassed she changed her order to a bottle of mineral water!


Another friend of mine recently broke up with his girlfriend because, as he put it, ‘he was tired of being her daddy’. According to him she asked him for everything under the sun. Money for hair extensions, cloths, bags, shoes, petrol, make up and would get very upset or even withhold ‘extracurricular affairs’ if he delayed payment. The final straw came when she bought a set of matching gold earrings, necklace and bracelet worth N450, 000 and sent the trader to his office to harass him for the money!


So yeah, I agree. There are ‘some’ girls who put the ‘gold’ in gold digger but these are extreme cases. Most regular women folk aren’t walking around like the devil, seeking a man’s money to devour! They just want to be sure their man can afford to take care of them and will happily supplement his income to ensure the smooth running of the home. However, in today’s relationships where the woman is already playing wife while she is girlfriend (cooking, cleaning and bedroom duties), I think it’s only fair for the man to start playing husband too.
Every man should take pride in being able to afford to take care of his woman. Personally I cannot be with a man who does not see me eye to eye on this issue and I am not ashamed to say so. Nowadays before I date a guy he must pass the financial acid test. Good job, good car, nice flat, generous with dollops of ambition and drive! Gone are the days were I was fasting and praying for a man to buy his first car only for him to put another woman in the front seat. Anh anh, my mother didn’t raise no fool! I will fast and pray with you for that promotion, while the AC of your current car is blowing me in the face. I will get up and seek the Lord early in the morning for his salary increase when I have recovered from our romantic getaway in Dubai. I will cook the best tasting Egusi soup known to man while I am in his fully fitted kitchen and furnished home. I will hold his hand through all of life’s ups and downs while he treats me like the princess I deserve to be. And if all this makes me a gold digger, then I’ll say it loud and hard, I am digging for gold and I’m proud!

lol,
[/b]

GOLD DIGGERS:

Every woman is a Gold digger. We just use different tools, some use cranes, some tractors, others straws and the rest, spoons[i][/i]

Deep Soul thank you for the quote.
Even when they have fat bank accounts more than
the man in some instances, they keep demanding for more hence
the guy will wait for them to ask believing
he has given enough the last time, that would last a while.
women and money are inseparable!!! This attitude is rather
rampant more in Africa than in Europe or the US.

I might not agree totally with all the lady said but i am for one that even if i have my own money, he should contribute to!

Its only wen a guy doesnt have money dat he
complains abt bein asked too much.
If u ve got da dough its fun 2 spend it on da ones
u love & da needy.
Deep soul is rite/ every woman wants/needs 2 be comfortable while in da arms of her man.
Guys may God bless u all abundantly as we take care of our better halfs.

Deep soul do u personally know who wrote that article??


IT IS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!

im gna ask a friend to put it on her blog- men and woman alike need to read it! THE TRUTH right there!!!

@post

u shuld be happy ur man is giving u what u ask for and not complaining- he isnt a mind reader some men arent too familiar with what women want!


@ those condemmin her theres nuffin wrong with askin ur man for summin u want- if u dont belive so then go abt ur own u dont need to condem her shes asking a question just bloody answer it!

@cherrie

that thinking is very bad. in naija women believe its the responsibility of the man to always give to the girlfriend at all times as some posters av said on here. i believe a woman should be independent and its the man that should give the woman without asking at all, but sometimes the woman should also ask if need be. it isnt right for a woman to be asking at all times, becos the man might get pissed off and might keep it inside without telling the babe.

i have a friend who is always giving his babe all she wants and asks, the guy works hard and sometimes get pissed when he gives the girl money to manage for the month and the girl use the money to go clubbing. it pisses him off and now he is already reducing the money he gives her and eventually will stop until they both get married and same goes for another girl who is always complaining her bobo doesnt give her money. as bf and gf money or material should be given to each other at own will and shudnt be a must.

i actually am working and earning my money but i just feel he can be more proactive.

no be only proactive na clearsil

Prodigal angel:

Its only wen a guy doesnt have money dat he
complains abt bein asked too much.
If u ve got da dough its fun 2 spend it on da ones
u love & da needy.
Deep soul is rite/ every woman wants/needs 2 be comfortable while in da arms of her man.
Guys may God bless u all abundantly as we take care of our better halfs.

i cannot belive my eyes!!!

there are sensible men here on nl??

[b]However with every good bunch of grapes there is always the sour one which makes you think the rest maybe just as bad! Take for instance a guy I went on a date with some time last year (lets call him Uche). We met up at a swanky bar in London and he was absolutely stunned when after scanning through the drinks menu filled with expensive drinks that I opted for lemonade (£5.60) instead of something pricier. He told me of a girl who he had met for the first time at a similar priced bar who had ordered a bottle of Louis Roederer Crystal Rose Champagne on his tab—a £500 bottle of champagne. Although he claimed he could easily afford it, he made it clear to her that he thought it was outrageous for her to order such an expensive drink. The poor girl was so embarrassed she changed her order to a bottle of mineral water!

Another friend of mine recently broke up with his girlfriend because, as he put it, ‘he was tired of being her daddy’. According to him she asked him for everything under the sun. Money for hair extensions, cloths, bags, shoes, petrol, make up and would get very upset or even withhold ‘extracurricular affairs’ if he delayed payment. The final straw came when she bought a set of matching gold earrings, necklace and bracelet worth N450, 000 and sent the trader to his office to harass him for the money!

So yeah, I agree. There are ‘some’ girls who put the ‘gold’ in gold digger but these are extreme cases.[/b]

@ deep soul
hmm,  ok i admit it ,your quote from facebook gives me food for thought as a guy. I was ready to dismiss it as just another biased feminist running her mouth off on facebook till she grudgeingly admitted that  gold digger girls are a clear and present danger for us guys( as quoted above) but even in the middle of that damning revelation she quickly tries to blunt the force of that admission by claiming that such girls are only in ''extreme cases'', i can't help but laugh at that one 

If girls like this are truly an extreme (i.e  rare) case then PRE-NUPTIAL AGREEMENTS would not exist in this world, that law was initially specifically introduced to protect wealthy men from the scourge of female financial predators and F.Y. I just becos  a girl that has her own money doesn't mean she can't be a gold digger !!! want proof ? when the TIGER WOODS sex scandal came to light  he was roundly condemned by all and sundry females & men alike but did you notice the actions of his rich supermodel wife ELIN NORDEGREN ? what was her primary concern at this low point in her marraige ? thats right , first chance she got she looked for a good lawyer to help her take tiger for half of everything he was worth !!!    hmmph! so much for the picture of the innocent longsuffering wife wronged by her cheating husband  . Bottom line, we guys don shine our eyes too, we are not intrested in being any girls MAGA !!! 

@ cheerie
I'll keep it short & sweet for you dear, if this issue bothers you that much , pick an appropriate moment ( NOT AFTER SEX PLS!!! ) and raise your fears with your guy, so both of you can work it out. best of luck to you