I think these two words are abused, that's why I seldom use them. Let me break it down from a relationship perspective. . .

In the broadest sense, an 'insecure' person is someone that distrusts his/her partner or doesn't feel comfortable with certain 'moves', especially with the opposite se.exx right? Ok.

Trust, on the other hand, presupposes that a partner is infallible; in other words, him/her can never yield to any temptation from the opposite s.ee.x right? Ok.

Unfortunately, there is a hidden dimension to these two words. When a partner accuses you of insecurity, then it proves your suspicion(s) right. What s/he wants is for you to turn a blind eye, 'leave it for God', or accept the likelihood of their misbehaving as 'one of those things', then you'd be seen as secure.

Trust. When you voice suspicions and all s/he does is lash at you for not trusting him/her, thats a red flag. Do you really think your partner is Jesus? (even He was tempted and only his Godly grace saved him). So what or who are they to make them feel you MUST trust them? Really 'trust' simply means you should free them to do their dirt since 'that's life'.

Truth is, no one is ever 'all that' enough to think s/he's everything a partner wants for ever. Also, no one is ever 'virtuous' enough to be beyond yielding to temptation. As such, 'insecure' and 'trust' are baseless words used (often subliminally) for blackmail and deceit. Only deep thinkers would agree with me.

I agree. And you forgot to add the most abused word of all. "Maturity". Guy knows his girfriends creeping, theres an argument about it, she says hes not
"mature" to handle the fact shes close to guys, lol
Such don't work on me anymore

@poster
IMHO
please dont misunderstand[b] insecurity/trust[/b] with deceit.

Trust, on the other hand, presupposes that a partner is infallible; in other words, him/her can never yield to any temptation from the opposite s.ee.x right? Ok.

trust has nothing to do with others but all to do with YOU. i trust someone means that i put myself on the line/out there. . . . . . (like removing my "armour/protection zone" and allow this person to step in and"possibly" hurt me) and accept whatever that person is doing or going to do in our relationship. when you finally realize that you cant change people then you will accept that life is ALL about you and what you take or not.

we all know that no one is perfect but trust will make me fully comfortable with what this person does/will do(especially when i am not there) and hope that the love/respect that this person has for us will make her do the right thing for us/the relationship.
you cant be going around judging people before they did the crime and if you are sure that they are going to do the crime then you have no business being with them!.

When a partner accuses you of insecurity, then it proves your suspicion(s) right. What s/he wants is for you to turn a blind eye, 'leave it for God', or accept the likelihood of their misbehaving as 'one of those things', then you'd be seen as secure.

of course not!!!! if you dont want your woman to ever go out with her girl friend/workmate and she calls you insecure then it doesnt mean that she wants you to turn a blind eye, it means she wants you to "open your eyes/mind" and act like a human being who trust that his partner will do the right thing when out with her girlfriends.
the likelihood of getting hit by a bus are pretty high also but that doesnt stop us from going out BECAUSE WE TRUST OURSELVES/THEM THAT WE WILL BE CAREFULL.
there are a lot of factors involved in insecurity: your past, your (low) self elsteem, being possessive/always in control knowing what where or who she talks to etc

Do you really think your partner is Jesus? (even He was tempted and only his Godly grace saved him). So what or who are they to make them feel you MUST trust them? Really 'trust' simply means you should free them to do their dirt since 'that's life'.

like i said earlier nobody is perfect therefore YOU ARE NOT PERFECT TOO. the catch is to get to know someone and through their actions/beliefs you will feel comfortable and understand that they wont do anything negative towards your relationship.
i mean, since you said that everyone is a sinner then lets accept that and move on with life. do you expect your partner to always doubt you,never trust you and always question everything you do for the rest of your relationship?!

if you always have you guard up/"armour on" then you will never be able to enjoy life and you might as well dump your partner and be alone.
you will lose MUCH MORE in living with your guards up all the time rather than let your guard down for the right person and just hope that they always do right.
also it will be good for you to understand and think like: WHATEVER ANYONE DOES WONT AFFECT WHO I AM AS A PERSON. IF THEY DO SOMETHING THAT AINT RIGHT THEN I WILL LOOK AT IT AND MAKE UP MY MIND IF I WANT TO STAY WITH THEM OR LEAVE. . . . . . . . .EITHER WAY, I WILL HAVE HAD A GREAT TIME WHILE IT LASTED.

the catch is to be mentally strong enough to get back up when you've been floored!

wavemasta:

I agree. And you forgot to add the most abused word of all. "Maturity". Guy knows his girfriends creeping, theres an argument about it, she says  hes not"mature" to handle the fact shes close to guys, lol
Such don't work on me anymore 

if you are 100% sure that your gf is creeping then  BE MATURE and drop the rat. . . . . . . . . if you dont and just talk about it then you are definitely gutless in my world. are you saying that you know for certain she is fooling around and yet the only thing you do is "talk"?! LOL

@MrBrownJay

You should be a professor, lol. The way you systematically 'dissect' issues is inimitable.

However although I agree with some aspects of your views, I beg to differ in others. My problem with the words 'insecure', 'trust', and 'maturity' (rightly added by wavemasta), is that they are often used deceitfully by a partner to blackmail the other or put him/her on the defensive. Do you know how many times i've seen a serial cheater 'attack' his/her rightfully suspicious partner with "why are you so insecure, you ought to trust me by now". When those words are thrown around anyhow, then 'trust' me, that's a red flag. I prefer straight answers to questions rather than blackmail someone with those useless words. For example, if I ask "why should you go out for lunch with your boss, I saw you". I prefer a weak lie like "he actually forced me to, I felt awkward all through, I'm so sorry, I meant to tell you", rather than play clever by half by replying "why are you so insecure, it was just lunch; don't you trust me". Thats blackmail.

OP:

open a dictionary

^^^^dont u gerit still, the way people abuse the words and use o to thier selfish end stinks.

pro01:

@MrBrownJay

You should be a professor, lol. The way you systematically 'dissect' issues is inimitable.

However although I agree with some aspects of your views, I beg to differ in others. My problem with the words 'insecure', 'trust', and 'maturity' (rightly added by  wavemasta), is that they are often used deceitfully by a partner to blackmail the other or put him/her on the defensive. Do you know how many times i've seen a serial cheater 'attack' his/her rightfully suspicious partner with "why are you so insecure, you ought to trust me by now". When those words are thrown around anyhow, then 'trust' me, that's a red flag. I prefer straight answers to questions rather than blackmail someone with those useless words. For example, if I ask "why should you go out for lunch with your boss, I saw you". I prefer a weak lie like "he actually forced me to, I felt awkward all through, I'm so sorry, I meant to tell you", rather than play clever by half by replying "why are you so insecure, it was just lunch; don't you trust me". Thats blackmail.

you are right man that there are many out there who will misuse this words to play with men's mind and this is why i said that you shouldnt misunderstand insecurities/lack of trust with deceit. we all know that there are cheats, liars, con artist etc out there ready to say the craziest ISH to attain their own agenda but the catch is to
1) realize that it is a small percentage compare to the people who are "genuine/good/honest".
2) give everyone the chance to prove that they are good and only judge them IF they ever give you a reason not to.
3) remember that if all the women you met are cheaters/liars and low life skanks then you should probably change the ways you look for a mate.

i liked your example about a girl and her boss but remember that if you saw your girl having dinner with her boss(its still not against the law,right?) then go meet them, give your girl a fat juicy kiss, sit down at their table and ask them whats going on while looking at HER and HIS reaction.

you dont need anyone's confirmation. . . . . . . if you believe deep down your guts that there is foul play then so be it and do something about it because, even if you dont, every judgment you make from that point on will be clouded. always trust your instincts!!!!!
asking her to confirm something that you already know/believe is a waste of time.

some guys out there are too weak to face reality or make the right decisions when they find the ugly TRUTH. it doesnt matter how long you've been with someone or how many kids you have together, if the relationship was built on deceit then it needs to be "re-evaluated".

^^
Professor BrownJay, lol.

Its a complex argument man. The thing is: it's incredibly difficult to catch a creeping partner RED HANDED. One doesnt have to catch her blowing her colleague's c.ock (for instance) to know that you're being played. Thats why its so easy for a 'creeper' to deny stark circumstancial evidence and blackmail you with 'insecure' or 'trust'. Its crazy man. Thats why i prefer flings or 'open' relationships with no strings attached; when you're with me, only then are you mine - we'll have a good time. Afterwards I dont give a ishh what (or who) you do. I've noticed that it's when you 'love' or put your heart in it that you get messed up and made a fool.

Nice posts guys, but the way it's going is really scary, all the long posts abeg others pls input.The profs shid take a breather aiite