It baffles me when somebdy who says that he loves and trust you, puts that same trust to test. Is that right? Do such act show that the person do trust you?
Well, this is my story......
I got to know this guy back in my school days. He wanted to court me but unfortunately, i was already hooked! That didnt stop him at all. He kept on asking me to give him a chance. When we finally graduated, we lost touch but he found me again through facebook after 2yrs and by then, I had already seperated from my ex . We got talking and so on and he brought up the topic of his luv for me. He asked for a chance with the condition that if things aint working out, then he will let me be. I accepted his proposal and we started dating. Due to distance and our jobs, we communicated more through the phone and we visited each other when its suitable for us both. We had our ups and downs but we always resolved it. 6 mnths into our relationship, he asked that I tell him evryting about my previous relationship(s). I did but he singled out a phrase from it, which is abt my being so much inluv with my ex because he was my first boyfriend. I realy dont know why he did that but all i know is that he culdnt take the fact that he is the second guy in my life. I tried convincing him that him, being the second, doesnt mean that he is underloved and I also showed him in everyway I could that I truly love, trust and care for him. Now, the real gist......
It happend that I was opportuned to see him towards the last weekend of May. I told him about it. He told me that he was moving into another house but the house was still under renovation. He decided to host me at his cousins' place. I agreed to that because I happened to know his cousin. I also told him that I was actualy sick and on drugs and that I just wanted to get away from home for the weekend in order to have proper rest. When I finally got there, he took me to a friends' house instead. I questioned him but he just gave me a flimsy excuse. I overlooked it. I noticed that he was just all over me through out my stay, not minding my condition. He never asked how I felt each day, he wasnt concerned about my health. He fed me only when I requested. The most annoying and deadly part was, knowing that I am an asthmatic patient, he put on the AC at night wen I was already asleep, only for me to wake up with a chest pain. I was just too weak to confront him. I just asked him to put it off. All i kept asking myself was: ' Is this the loving and caring guy that I know or has he been pretending all these while?'. All he was intrested in was my body. When I reminded him about my health condition, he reclined but before I knew it, he is doing same thing again. When I culdnt take it anymore, I pushed him away, packed up my things and went straight home. That same day, I was admitted in the hospital. When he called, I told him about my situation. At last, when I recovered a little, I confronted him on how he treated me. I also told him that, if he cant take care of me when am sick, then he cant take care of me at all. I reminded him of his condition before we started dating and on that note, dissolved the intimacy but still extended my hand of friendship to him. He didnt apologise; didnt even try to defend himself. All he did was to send me a text message saying:
'If u cant luv me in my worst, then you cant be with me at my best. Everything that happened(the house renovation, financial crisis, etc) was just a test and you have failed the test. You are fake.....!'.
I was so speechless! How can he test me at the expense of my life? I was sick for christ sakes and he still went on to test me? Apart from that, why test somebody you claim to trust and love more than your life? I can never put somebody that I claim to trust to the test!
My question still remains: why test somebody you claim to trust?

First of all, learn to write proper English. It is a pain reading thru your write-up. In the world of auto correct, don't be scared to spell.

No he f..ked up and he is using the test as an excuse. I can't blame him though,he was just too Hot to control himself. Its obvious he has been starved of punny. Few men cab think straight in that condition.

deniyor: First of all, learn to write proper English. It is a pain reading thru your write-up. In the world of auto correct, don't be scared to spell.

No he f..ked up and he is using the test as an excuse. I can't blame him though,he was just too Hot to control himself. Its obvious he has been starved of punny. Few men cab think straight in that condition.

wel, tnx. U cn always help mi modify it, cnt u? Again, u vnt ansad mi questn: cn u put to test somebdy u luv and trust?

deniyor: First of all, learn to write proper English. It is a pain reading thru your write-up. In the world of auto correct, don't be scared to spell.

No he f..ked up and he is using the test as an excuse. I can't blame him though,he was just too Hot to control himself. Its obvious he has been starved of punny. Few men cab think straight in that condition.

are u satisfied now?

A really s.tupid way to test someone, especially when you were sick. He obviously did not trust you.
He clearly has insecurities and he's trying to pin the blame on you.

Haha much better write-up. I answered your question already, he wasn't testing you but used that line to get away with the fact that he fked up.

Yes, you can test someone you love and trust. People do it everyday. I'm not here to judge whether it is a good idea or not, but people do it a lot and for different reasons.

Also, lots of people say they trust their partners but its all talk. Many really don't . In a lot of cases, that trust only comes as a result of either knowing you partner well enough or the partner having passed some test.

Love cums wit no assumptions but it gives u facts to believe.

I'm glad you accepted his correction. Your post here is more readable!!

He sounds too emotional to be in a serious relationship. The fact that he didn't bother about you while you were admitted to the hospital, but rather sought to justify his claims on how fake you are shows you the person that he is. If you can live with it then fine, its up to you.

OP,...Take all pain to read this..
As i philosopher, i must tell u u won't get the right advice to your question when you already told us how bad your boyfriend sounds! The topic shld either be, 'is this right?' then people will comment on your boyfriend's actions. But when u ask if 'it's right to test someone u claim to love?' and included d whole story, the purpose has failed cos people's comments will be clouded by his actions and nothing more. See for yourself.
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But to answer your question, yes, but not everytime.
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As a philosopher, i found it hard to biliv dt people are so hypocritical not to accept dt we all have our doubts, and until you're satisfied, it stays as hitches.
++ words of kingwax...WE KEEP SURVIVING IN THIS LIFE BY NOT TRUSTING EACH OTHER!.. yes! As much as u might not want to biliv this, it is d truth. For example answer these...
1. if u ask someone to do your assignment, why call up again to ask if he's done it?
2. If u want to cross a road, why check one side at least again again?
3. Why hold your pocket when in the crowd?
4. Why do u check nairaland often to check IF INTERESTING TOPICS WERE POSTED?
5. Why are u alwys attentive to background voices when calling someone of interest?
6. Why are alwys tempted to check d messages, sent and inbox mostly when u hold his or her phone?
Listen, apart from pretenders, we are all doubters, and we trust no one. We only forgo those actions in order to ease unnecessary headache! Forget the hocuspocus called 'insecurity', we all are insecure!
If someone comes up and tell u your boyfriend is fuckin another, even though u brushed it aside, are we not alwys tempted to ask? So as to be sure? And until u do, the hitches stays and the pressure rises!
Sweetheart, test doesn't necessarilly means what your boyfriend CLAIMS he does(an action a can say is an excuse), it includes checking until you're sure!
Some people are though, wit serious trust issues, that after so many flawless efforts found in you, they still don't trust. Those kind of people are people dt indulge in the same practice they're accusing u of. I'm a good example, but i've trained myself to stop thinkin it, cos i've found out that all the trouble amounts to nothin. The irony of that situation is dt, those set of people happens to love their girlfriends or boyfriends more dn any other sets. Cos as much as they found no fault, they fall more.
Sweetheart, test anybody, whenever u have doubt, it's right, biliv me, keeps u straight, but don't ever do it often,or tell them it was a test, or you're gone!
For more advice on any issue, pls send me a private mail on hoodedproperty2@gmail.com.
no cost, jst glad to help.

that man is a confirmed asshole...finding lame excuses for his failure as a human being!
Yes,you can test someone you love...but not in obvious and insensitive ways.
As long as you don't hurt your partner in your quest to establish trust,its fine!
...but in this case,its outright bullshit!

Hez a jerk.. Putting u to test at the expense of ur life.. Move on dear

The guy has insecurity problem.
If you had pass the test , you would have been in for some more serious second test of organising his friend to rape you to proof ur love . Then the main examination of taking u to a mountain cliff and pushing u of to proof that you can die for love

It's women that often bring on their test and drama to test their man's love...Personally..I HATE such tests...I always warn my GFs not to put me thru any such tests @ the inception of the relationship....It is very stupid..Test ko exam ni....Relationship should be based on mutual love, trust, commitment, tolerance and understanding. But will many girls listen? No. they will always test...Sorry to say but Op ur bf is a JERK

12 inches!:
It's women that often bring on their test and drama to test their man's love...Personally..I HATE such tests...I always warn my GFs not to put me thru any such tests @ the inception of the relationship....It is very stupid..Test ko exam ni....Relationship should be based on mutual love, trust, commitment, tolerance and understanding. But will many girls listen? No. they will always test...Sorry to say but Op ur bf is a JERK

tnx switie, hes an ex nw

Naaaa it's not an excuse at all ..... i put me gf to test at times buh not somefin like dis naaaa .... the dude has had his time wifh yhu .... he just needed an avenue to take a dive to test oda waters' .... so i fhink u should do same cux he is pathetic

12 inches!:
It's women that often bring on their test and drama to test their man's love...Personally..I HATE such tests...I always warn my GFs not to put me thru any such tests @ the inception of the relationship....It is very stupid..Test ko exam ni....Relationship should be based on mutual love, trust, commitment, tolerance and understanding. But will many girls listen? No. they will always test...Sorry to say but Op ur bf is a JERK

hey dear dere's nofhin really wrong wifh the testing fhings in relationship .... even God himsef put us "humans" to test to verify our stand wifh ... u know sometyms love derail?

Thats not test but stupidity on his part........according to your narration, you did not decline when he choose to take you to his cousin's house n later found youself in his friend's house.

Its obvious he sent that sms to shift blames to you, as he did not succed in getting what he intended from you.

So the test was to sleep with him? SMH. More like he's failed your test that should determine wether he's worth more of your precious time.

We all try to know how much we are loved and wanted by partners but the Guy went too far. Putting her through all those S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ called test when she is actually sick is uncalled for.

Testing someone you told that you trust is in itself
A betrayal of the trust that the other party had in your
Statement that you trust that one!
Trust in itself implies that you have confidence in the
Truth,goodness,character,power and ability of someone in
The first place.
So,what then is the essence of the further test?!!
It only shows that the one claiming to trust the other
Party in the first place is nothing but a liar!!!
And when such one greets you "good morning",you better
Check the time;simply because you can't rely on the
Veracity of statements made by such a person.
You can test someone if you've not already told them that
You trust them.
Our word should be our bond;let your yes be your yes and
Your nay,nay;any other thing is of another source other
Than God.
In summary to answer your question;you can't test somebody
You opened your mouth and said you trust. Shikena!
Blessed day.

while testing those you love is natural to me, cos believe me no body can be trusted. Yet i think you have been dating an assshole, he wasnt testing you, he was just simply selfish. i believe he's had enough, hope u learned a lesseon though. Because i have come to find out that women have the tendency of making the same mistake over and over again and blame it all on men.

You should have asked him if a guy were to treat his sister in a similar manner, what his response will be. Sorry @ OP but he's a retard, I guess your next test of love for him will be to take a dip in the Lagoon..

Send him a txt message telling him you were testing him too and he failed the test. Testers.

If you love someone,why test him/her,if you test me with food when I'm hungry,won't I fail.I believe you don't need to test someone you love.

Nope, its a wrong type of test.

Nope, its a wrong type of test.

I'll rather have a gf break my heart and be unfaithful than put her thru useless test...If I find out my gf is testing me...It may cause our break up....It's like u see a grown matured individual and u consciously start taking him for a ride...That makes me so MAD...That is why I warn my gfs...NO TESTS at the inception of the relationship....And personally I don't do such.

that guy must be a nairalander who read too many romance section stories, but didnt know how to handle his.
c&p and failed.