This is common among ladies. I have seen many who swore that if they had a second chance to choose a man for marriage they would never choose their husbands.
Is it that they were carried away by "love" and forgot to do proper checks on the man's attitude, or that they were lured with sweet lies??

Or that their village people did a wonderful job on their cases, hence blinded them from all the man's faults

One was complaining to me that her husband nags the hell out of her, and does not care about her, and i was like: Was i there when the two of you were doing your lovey-dovey?
Perhaps, some of them dumped the guy that would have made a better husband just because he was not lying to them and was treating them nice so they termed him "weak man".

Please people, what do you think is responsible for this?

Share your opinions on this matter so we can all learn

Those ladies you're talking about didn't do their homework very well before saying yes. Instead of marring who I'll regret doing so, I rather remain single.

This is the reason why one should scrutinize and check their spouse well, dig well to find out who they really are before venturing into marriage

Jman06:
This is common among ladies. I have seen many who swore that if they had a second chance to choose a man for marriage they would never choose their husbands.
Is it that they were carried away by "love" and forgot to do proper checks on the man's attitude, or that they were lured with sweet lies??

Or that their village people did a wonderful job on their cases, hence blinded them from all the man's faults

One was complaining to me that her husband nags the hell out of her, and does not care about her, and i was like: Was i there when the two of you were doing your lovey-dovey?
Perhaps, some of them dumped the guy that would have made a better husband just because he was not lying to them and was treating them nice so they termed him "weak man".

Please people, what do you think is responsible for this?

Share your opinions on this matter so we can all learn

Excessive rationalization forces people out of good people, they scrutinize and scrutinize and scrutinize and then they push good folks who get over-burdened by the process away, in the quest to fill the void, they settle for one whom they feel validates their objections, theories and beliefs, but then they don't know you measure people not in good times, but in bad times, not when they aren't under pressure, but under pressure..not in good treatments, but in a mixture of conditions. Because they don't develop love/emotional bonds, they jump into marriage, exhaust themselves in the bed room and then drama is what's left....


Because at age 24-25 ladies skip good men that come for them in this age gap, we phiolosophers call it the age gap of women error, once they make this error in this age, many never recover, hence the regret of choice of a spouse

Cc : WordWorld

Cc : Lefulefu

Cc: Belafonte

Cc: Martin0


I laigh when i hear people say they didn't do too much check..It's too much checking that leads to pushing away good people who can't stand the scrutinty much longer, and they settle for straws...Because it meets their fantasies and wishes



My bro, Ubunja, what do you have to say to this?

They regret their choices because Na their outer eyed dem take pick partner...for someone to pick a good wife, one must be prayerful...and also vigilant or watchful of the partner....

Jman06:
This is common among ladies. I have seen many who swore that if they had a second chance to choose a man for marriage they would never choose their husbands.
Is it that they were carried away by "love" and forgot to do proper checks on the man's attitude, or that they were lured with sweet lies??

Or that their village people did a wonderful job on their cases, hence blinded them from all the man's faults

One was complaining to me that her husband nags the hell out of her, and does not care about her, and i was like: Was i there when the two of you were doing your lovey-dovey?
Perhaps, some of them dumped the guy that would have made a better husband just because he was not lying to them and was treating them nice so they termed him "weak man".

Please people, what do you think is responsible for this?

Share your opinions on this matter so we can all learn

a babe"s friend introduce her to one guy wey she say is godfearing in september.cos the guy rides a clean venza and wears gucci clothes she rushes to marry the guy by december.the guy starts abusing her and showing her his true colour. tell me why wont she regret.

lefulefu:

a babe friend introduce am tone guy wey she is godfearing in september.cos the guy rides a clean venza and wears gucci clothes she rushes to marry the guy by december.the guy starts abusing her and showing her his true colour.why wont she regret.

You and clean venza matter ehn !

Jupxter:


You and clean venza matter ehn !

na the reigning car wey dem dey take thrill babes for benin

lefulefu:

na the reigning car wey dem dey take thrill babes for benin

How we go organize Venza for you na, make you self go find yourself one better Opeke

Jupxter:




Excessive rationalization forces people out of good people, they scrutinize and scrutinize and scrutinize and then they push good folks who get over-burdened by the process away, in the quest to fill the void, they settle for one whom they feel validates their objections, theories and beliefs, but then they don't know you measure people not in good times, but in bad times, not when they aren't under pressure, but under pressure..not in good treatments, but in a mixture of conditions. Because they don't develop love/emotional bonds, they jump into marriage, exhaust themselves in the bed room and then drama is what's left....


Because at age 24-25 ladies skip good men that come for them in this age gap, we phiolosophers call it the age gap of women error, once they make this error in this age, many never recover, hence the regret of choice of a spouse

Cc : WordWorld

Cc : Lefulefu

Cc: Belafonte

Cc: Martin0


I laigh when i hear people say they didn't do too much check..It's too much checking that leads to pushing away good people who can't stand the scrutinty much longer, and they settle for straws...Because it meets their fantasies and wishes

I don't agree with your last paragraph. I believe many fall into wrong hands because they don't do thorough checks devoid of emotions.

Jman06:
I don't agree with your last paragraph. I believe many fall into wrong hands because they don't do thorough checks devoid of emotions.

excessive checks is more the problem for me...

It's nice to have varience of opinions..

No matter the check, you will never find anyone that doesn't require some fixing....

Why asking questions you've already answered with your myopic view?

Jman06:
I don't agree with your last paragraph. I believe many fall into wrong hands because they don't do thorough checks devoid of emotions.

This is it here : Perhaps, some of them dumped the guy that would have made a better husband just because he was not lying to them and was treating them nice so they termed him "weak man" And many times, they make the errors between 24-25 years old. Ask any woman who has such regret, they will always point back to this age gap, its the age gap for error for women...80% fall into this snare......


The nice men are weak men syndrome is what i call the excessive rationalization problem...they scrutinize and scrutinize not knowing it places an emotional toll on the man they makes him tired, angry and walks away

YES!

Especially those guys that marry Ex-prostitutes thinking they can change them forgetting that a leopard can never change its spots.

An harlot will forever be one, no matter tthe level of pretence.

Alariiwo:
YES!

Especially those guys that marry Ex-prostitutes thinking they can change them forgetting that a leopard can never change its spots.

An harlot will forever be one, no matter tthe level of pretence.

I have heard and seen ex-harlot become a wonderful mother o

lefulefu:

a babe"s friend introduce her to one guy wey she say is godfearing in september.cos the guy rides a clean venza and wears gucci clothes she rushes to marry the guy by december.the guy starts abusing her and showing her his true colour. tell me why wont she regret.

That's it! Many ladies choose their men for so many ABSURD reasons without paying attention to his CHARACTER.
Imagine a lady choosing a guy just because he is from one particular tribe, state, town and without paying attention to the guy's personality, Or like in your own instance just because the guy rides a venza. Or because he is tall and has red lips...lolz, they forget about every other thing and focus on that frivolous reason until they are married, and after few months of marriage they get tired of that frivolity that got them hooked and come to terms with reality. Marriage is indeed an eye opener.

Jupxter:



I have heard and seen ex-harlot become a wonderful mother o

A wonderful mother, not a faithful wife..

Being a wonderful mother is not the only thing required from a spouse. A baby mama can be all that and more.

We're talking about trust and faithfulness to one's spouse.

Alariiwo:


A wonderful mother, not a faithful wife..

Being a wonderful mother is not the only thing required from a spouse. A baby mama can be all that and more.

We're talking about trust and faithfulness to one's spouse.

Yes, this one is a mother of four wonderful sons self...People change when they willingly choose to

Jupxter:




This is it here : Perhaps, some of them dumped the guy that would have made a better husband just because he was not lying to them and was treating them nice so they termed him "weak man" And many times, they make the errors between 24-25 years old. Ask any woman who has such regret, they will always point back to this age gap, its the age gap for error for women...80% fall into this snare......


The nice men are weak men syndrome is what i call the excessive rationalization problem...they scrutinize and scrutinize not knowing it places an emotional toll on the man they makes him tired, angry and walks away

Ok, i get your point now.

makydebbie:
Why asking questions you've already answered with your myopic view?

LOL, answer question jare.

OP, for me...I think majority of ladies marital mistakes is as a result of pressure. It is this pressure to get married that makes most of them jump on the next available man. Lots of ladies don't get married to the one they truly love, because time isn't on their side.

It is not like they don't know what to look out for. The ones that take their time looking out for these things are being shamed and reminded of menopause everyday. So, why waste time? Just drag Mr Left to the Right and work it out. [In marriage], reality hits them and they realise it isn't that easy.

You don't see married men complain unnecessarily because most men are not fixers. If the wife can't have good sex, get a side chick. If she doesn't cook well, get another side chick, if she gets fat...get a slim sidechick. With men, there is always an alternative.
Unlike women that'll stay there and nag, cry, attend crusades, regret, whine all day and say men are scum

If most women can take a chill pill and overcome that pressure to marry in the "perfect age range" set by society, they'll have lesser sad tales. I follow my instincts, it has never failed me

Jman06:
Ok, i get your point now.

Also...



Marriage is good, love is beautiful when it's shared with the right person, it requires ample patience, scrutiny, checks, prayer, some exchanges between both parties to sit and talk and review their lives and see if they can agree to work together, many times, people get forces into marriage brought upon them by peer pressure, society, family, sex, unexpected child, it goes on. Excessive checks causes paralyzes and forces us to make errors too, marriage requires to me oh, seeking the face of God prayerfully, cause he's the one that knows thepath ahead, however steep or smooth. I rekiterate, trusting my senses for a journey that stretches beyond my own rational understanding is what i can't see myself doing, while it's good to do personal checks and evaluations, setting time aparttoseek the face of God will make us not make mistakes in marriages and make the right call. Instincts fails us, i've truste my instincts on many opportunities in life that turned out as bad investments, only God can make the right judgement, so, best for couples toseek God, not trust senses, not get pressured, or coercedin anyway, in the end, if an incompatible couple meet, if they have the resolve to make it work, they will achieve success !

Chasing after material things, I observed, is the only problem most women have. Any woman that wants to marry a man they are compatible with should be ready to wait for long. It seems some women were cursed from the womb chasing after money in relationships. It's the first red flag I'm always on the lookout for, I'm not rich though.

I deleted another girl just this morning. I will keep deleting them even if it means I won't get married. I wooed this one two weeks ago. She is a member of my church. She wanted to know what I do for a living and I told her I'm a job seeker. When I wooed her, she said she needs time to think about it. She called me by 10am today saying she wanted to see me so that we can talk. She knows that I have a bike. On getting to where she said I should come and meet her, I didn't find her there. When I called her, she said I should come to her house to pick her up. Once we left her house, she said her parent sent her on an errand. That errands involves going to various places in town. If one is to be boarding vehicles, one would have spent much money before returning home. We moved from one place to the other for hours. Once she was through, I returned her home. Then she told me that she wanted to tell me something. I told her to say it and she said they need certain amount of money in their house and want to borrow it from me. I told her that I already told her I don't have a job. Since that time, I don't know whether to send her curses or prayer.

pocohantas:


LOL, answer question jare.

OP, for me...I think majority of ladies marital mistakes is as a result of pressure. It is this pressure to get married that makes most of them jump on the next available man. Lots of ladies don't get married to the one they truly love, because time isn't on their side.

It is not like they don't know what to look out for. The ones that take their time looking out for these things are being shamed and reminded of menopause everyday. So, why waste time? Just drag Mr Left to the Right and work it out. [In marriage], reality hits them and they realise it isn't that easy.

You don't see married men complain unnecessarily because most men are not fixers. If the wife can't have good sex, get a side chick. If she doesn't cook well, get another side chick, if she gets fat...get a slim sidechick. With men, there is always an alternative.
Unlike women that'll stay there and nag, cry, attend crusades, regret, whine all day and say men are scum

If most women can take a chill pill and overcome that pressure to marry in the "perfect age range" set by society, they'll have lesser sad tales. I follow my instincts, it has never failed me

You stylishly made sense.

pocohantas:


LOL, answer question jare.

Lol, the op just made it like it's the woman's fault that one just put me of jare. But my take.

It doesnt take one person to make an "institution" like marriage to work. I think sometimes the couple would get bored. And I think it's normal, doing the same shiit all over again. Like cook, have sex, wakeup, go to work and repeat. Like you know, no spice just the same boring lives.

And you know during courtship the spice was there and all? But when they got married they stopped the midnight walks, the games, picnics and those fun stuffs. So well, if they stopped it completely, they don't expect that spark to keep itself there. They stop what they started and get lost along the line.


And well, you know when women give birth, that's the end of being sexy. So that's another thing I guess. I'm not married ooo. This one is from the ones I've seen.

OP, for me...I think majority of ladies marital mistakes is as a result of pressure. It is this pressure to get married that makes most of them jump on the next available man. Lots of ladies don't get married to the one they truly love, because time isn't on their side.

It is not like they don't know what to look out for. The ones that take their time looking out for these things are being shamed and reminded of menopause everyday. So, why waste time? Just drag Mr Left to the Right.

You don't see married men complain unnecessarily because most men are not fixers. If the wife can't have good sex, get a side chick. If she doesn't cook well, get another side chick, if she gets fat...get a slim sidechick. With men, there is always an alternative.
Unlike women that'll stay there and nag, cry, attend crusades, regret, whine all day and say men are scum

If most women can take a chill pill and overcome that pressure to marry in the "perfect age range" set by society, they'll have lesser sad tales. I follow my instincts, it has never failed me

You know africa na, when you're unmarried you're a failure and marriage is your fulfillment in life so they rush our sisters and we hear sad tales thereafter. My sister is 26 but mumcy dey drop hint small small.

Women are so quick to call a naturally nice guy weak.

I'm reading and learning from your inputs. Keep them coming!

Beosten:
Chasing after material things, I observed, is the only problem most women have. Any woman that wants to marry a man they are compatible with should be ready to wait for long. It seems some women were cursed from the womb chasing after money in relationships. It's the first red flag I'm always on the lookout for, I'm not rich though.

I deleted another girl just this morning. I will keep deleting them even if it means I won't get married. I wooed this one two weeks ago. She is a member of my church. She wanted to know what I do for a living and I told her I'm a job seeker. When I wooed her, she said she needs time to think about it. She called me by 10am today saying she wanted to see me so that we can talk. She knows that I have a bike. On getting to where she said I should come and meet her, I didn't find her there. When I called her, she said I should come to her house to pick her up. Once we left her house, she said her parent sent her on an errand. That errands involves going to various places in town. If one is to be boarding vehicles, one would have spent much money before returning home. We moved from one place to the other for hours. Once she was through, I returned her home. Then she told me that she wanted to tell me something. I told her to say it and she said they need certain amount of money in their house and want to borrow it from me. I told her that I already told her I don't have a job. Since that time, I don't know whether to send her curses or prayer.

Prayers is in order sir. She want to borrow from the little in ur hands. Ask her if you resemble GTB.

Jman06:
I'm reading and learning from your inputs.
Keep them coming!

Nice guys have disadvantages. Instincts are good, but then prayer is much more accurate, iknow a lady ten years back that dumped engineers, doctors, contractors for a plantain seller, guess what, i see her now i smile, they have companies, a house of theirs, children, peace, no wars...when i asked her what prompted the choice she made,she confided in me she sought the face of God, and wastold that she the only man she would find peace with in marriage is the plantain seller, today the plantain seller owns chains of businesses, and has stepped up, has driven different cars, own houses, so we musn't despise the days of little beginnings, neither should we overly trust our guts, i recall, ten years back, it was the engineer dude that was top priority on her list, but God had different plan for her....So, God is the most reliable source to get information from in the choice of a life partner...any man that forces any lady into marriage will live to tell sad tales, a woman must willingly choose a man from the depth of her heart, this is how to get the best out of every woman/marriage

kimbraa:
Those ladies you're talking about didn't do their homework very well before saying yes. Instead of marring who I'll regret doing so, I rather remain single.

lol

they said it is called CHOICE even if its obvioudly a poor choice.


i dont pity females at all........thats what i have learnt over the years........like its normal for females to make wrong choice

lefulefu:

na the reigning car wey dem dey take thrill babes for benin

Wow nahim be say me nah Range Rover spot you go take trill me I hope you're ready count down to Benin these Christmas

Pearl05:





Prayers is in order sir. She want to borrow from the little in ur hands. Ask her if you resembles GTB.

Lol. Pearl is here. Which kind mouth go think of prayer in this situation?

Chisos


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