Splinz:


I never thought you have this much sense.

Perhaps, just perhaps you're learning fast...

Anyways, Op you must listen to this wise counsel by Flui*Queen.

So, we're friends now?

FluidQueen:
So, we're friends now?

Your wish & dreams...
I can't be a friend to a slut.

FluidQueen:
I'm sorry but this is balderdash

...Another Hogwash
At the bolded, who exactly restricts my choice? You? God? Society? Why you think a woman has limited choice in the world where men don't is exactly why the world needs Equality.

Why you think the idea that a woman puts goals and ambition before marriage is ludicrous is actually the height of insensitivity , gender bias, degredation and Subtle sexism.

So, men are allowed to choose the world if they could afford and women should just resort to petty wishes, being a married woman and someone's kitchen slave for all eternity?

Lol. I'll pass. I'd rather take my own choice. Break free from the shackles of Nigeria's-Societal expectations of females. I'd pick My goals over looking relentlessly for a man anytime.

age restrictions is all in your head. I don't live my life based on the number of cat calls I get, or What men Would want. Those are frivolities. Inconsequential things and never my priorities. I have goals, ambitions, money goals, beauty goals, health goals.

like I said hon. you are still very young. you will learn more as you advance in life. we been there, heard all this before, saw how they all turned out and am sure in another life they will want to make a rethink. that being said. you assume that everything you listed there is what life is all about? then you know nothing fluidgirl. you haven't found out exactly why you are living yet. note it that marriage isn't my point, neither do I even agree with you that women need any emancipation. hopefully you will get all those things that look fantastic and worthwhile, maybe the. you will realize painfully what life truly is about. how the role of men comes to play in it. guess all our mothers and fathers are all so stupid.

Splinz:


Your wish & dreams...

I can't be a friend to a slut.

All that massive resentment. You'd get over it someday. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's Just Nairaland. You'll be fine.

Gourdoinc:
like I said hon. you are still very young. you will learn more as you advance in life. we been there, heard all this before, saw how they all turned out and am sure in another life they will want to make a rethink. that being said. you assume that everything you listed there is what life is all about? then you know nothing fluidgirl. you haven't found out exactly why you are living yet. note it that marriage isn't my point, neither do I even agree with you that women need any emancipation. hopefully you will get all those things that look fantastic and worthwhile, maybe the. you will realize painfully what life truly is about. how the role of men comes to play in it. guess all our mothers and fathers are all so stupid.

You sound like you're 35+


You should get married quick before you lose your youthful valor and women Wouldn't take you seriously anymore.
In the meantime, Your advice isn't exactly needed. But thank you tho. I will make my own choices from now on.

Safiaaa:
Going by what you have said...the fact is that most of you don’t have money. So this is not even applicable to most men. So for the average man, your options are still very limited and will be limited even as you age, because what you do in your prime reflects how you will live in the future. Please be very real with yourself and stop trying to hide under your misogynistic views. Man or woman, everything will fall into place when it’s time.

my dear, I was very clear in adding the clause, "if he can afford it". clearly if he can't afford it, he will reliaze painfully the act of making money being the most important attribute a man must have and not having the best hair cut or tattoo. I am not uncomfortable being called a misogynist anyway. people aren't uncomfortable being called feminists so why bother. nevethless nothing ever falls into place, it is exactly how you play your games, the choices you pick at every cycle of your life which will help the next cycle. if you decide to be Muslim right now, the cycle of your life changes entirely, you might find wealth, you might find death, but the fact remains you will have a complete change of your destiny. thus nothing but your choices makes anything fall into place. the situation is more dire for a woman than a man anyway with respect to finding love. a man needs to find money and hopefully he might find love at 60, a woman even with money might not find love at 60. even if she finds, her eggs are likely all depleted, even if they are not, her skin are likely all shrivelled, and even if she isn't she is already suffering from old sickness making doggy style and cow girl Impossible. nevethless these are not the point. because at that age, would she realize that doggy style, money, cow girl etc aren't the point in marriage. something more important is, and she is seeing it late, why then didn't she do it while her sun was shining. this is my point. everyone must make hay while his or her sun shines. you just make money in your youth, you must find love In your youth. etc it doesn't imply you can't find it later than I have mentioned, but why make life so hard for yourself. why try to make money when your legs are weak and hands shrivelled, why try to find love when ur skin isn't so taut anymore, breast not perky anymore . why not do the best thing at the best time while your sun is shining brightest. guess it speaks more to the make hay while the sun shines.

the lady OP has her sun shining now, it will soon set as life is destined to work. if she thinks it will be shining forever then what a fool she must be, if she makes plans and hay while it shines, to reap the fruits when it sets, then she is wise. learn from all I have said and leave my being a misogynist out of it. I am not ashamed

FluidQueen:
You sound like you're 35+


You should get married quick before you lose your youthful valor and women Wouldn't take you seriously anymore.
In the meantime, Your advice isn't exactly needed. But thank you tho. I will make my own choices from now on.

your choices dear. also that age bracket isn't wrong. maybe that's the only thing you got right today.

make your choices, but make lots of hay while your sun shines. it will soon set anyway and you will be left with the fruits of your hay days, just like old musicians and celebrities, it's what you made while ur sun shone that you eat when it sets, also just like happened with all the women in your life. they didn't set out old and shrivelled. many were prettier than you, they made hay, they started a family, had kids like you to continue the struggle and today they have lived the good life and await the end whenever it may come.

guess you will learn this by experience since you are intoxicated too much in your childish wisdom (it happened to we all). money, recognition, career, health etc all Na turn by turn. a simple cycle which will go from beginning to end, poor to rich, rich to poor, happy to say, sad to happy, life to death and everything that matters wasn't the end we thought we would meet, but the simple processes we went through till such an end.

love is everything.

dingbang:
I guess falling in love ain't your thing. You can try friends with benefits kind of relationship..

FluidQueen:


All that massive resentment. You'd get over it someday. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's Just Nairaland. You'll be fine.

Don't even start...

What is resentful about calling a spade a spade? C'mon... gimme some credit!

You're a slut! I mean, I'm not the one saying it... you did!

It could be that you're also suffering from occasional amnesia. Here's my advice: check your signature for a memory refreshed.

Gourdoinc:
your choices dear. also that age bracket isn't wrong. maybe that's the only thing you got right today.

make your choices, but make lots of hay while your sun shines. it will soon set anyway and you will be left with the fruits of your hay days, just like old musicians and celebrities, it's what you made while ur sun shone that you eat when it sets, also just like happened with all the women in your life. they didn't set out old and shrivelled. many were prettier than you, they made hay, they started a family, had kids like you to continue the struggle and today they have lived the good life and await the end whenever it may come.

guess you will learn this by experience since you are intoxicated too much in your childish wisdom (it happened to we all). money, recognition, career, health etc all Na turn by turn. a simple cycle which will go from beginning to end, poor to rich, rich to poor, happy to say, sad to happy, life to death and everything that matters wasn't the end we thought we would meet, but the simple processes we went through till such an end.

love is everything.

I will definitely make hay when the sun shines.... But my hay and Another woman's hay aren't the same thing.


No one could dictate my happiness for me, I'm the only one responsible for my happiness. I truly know what would make me happy. And relationships isn't one of them.

Thank you.

Splinz:


Don't even start...

What is resentful about calling a spade a spade? C'mon... gimme some credit!

You're a slut! I mean, I'm not the one saying it... you did!

It could be that you're also suffering from occasional amnesia. Here's my advice: check your signature for a memory refreshed.

Lol.
I know, I know.
But I'm just saying...... You'll be alright.

Gourdoinc:
my dear, I was very clear in adding the clause, "if he can afford it". clearly if he can't afford it, he will reliaze painfully the act of making money being the most important attribute a man must have and not having the best hair cut or tattoo. I am not uncomfortable being called a misogynist anyway. people aren't uncomfortable being called feminists so why bother. nevethless nothing ever falls into place, it is exactly how you play your games, the choices you pick at every cycle of your life which will help the next cycle. if you decide to be Muslim right now, the cycle of your life changes entirely, you might find wealth, you might find death, but the fact remains you will have a complete change of your destiny. thus nothing but your choices makes anything fall into place. the situation is more dire for a woman than a man anyway with respect to finding love. a man needs to find money and hopefully he might find love at 60, a woman even with money might not find love at 60. even if she finds, her eggs are likely all depleted, even if they are not, her skin are likely all shrivelled, and even if she isn't she is already suffering from old sickness making doggy style and cow girl Impossible. nevethless these are not the point. because at that age, would she realize that doggy style, money, cow girl etc aren't the point in marriage. something more important is, and she is seeing it late, why then didn't she do it while her sun was shining. this is my point. everyone must make hay while his or her sun shines. you just make money in your youth, you must find love In your youth. etc it doesn't imply you can't find it later than I have mentioned, but why make life so hard for yourself. why try to make money when your legs are weak and hands shrivelled, why try to find love when ur skin isn't so taut anymore, breast not perky anymore . why not do the best thing at the best time while your sun is shining brightest. guess it speaks more to the make hay while the sun shines.

the lady OP has her sun shining now, it will soon set as life is destined to work. if she thinks it will be shining forever then what a fool she must be, if she makes plans and hay while it shines, to reap the fruits when it sets, then she is wise. learn from all I have said and leave my being a misogynist out of it. I am not ashamed

I get your point. But everybody’s journey in life is extremely different. Your tone is “ you must get a man now and put that before everything otherwise there’s little to no hope for you later” is quite concerning. Her life must not revolve around getting a man, now or never. What will be will be. When she’s ready and mentally prepared to handle a relationship everything will fall into place. Yes the sun is shining on her now, but can she handle the responsibilities that come with it? Stop putting a time span on women, this is the exact reason why women settle or do things out of fear and end up regretting later in life. Whether it’s now or ten years from now, she can have peace within herself knowing she did the right thing. Fucck your age limitations.

gloria34:
no time 4 long stories, I just can't settle into a relationship. I'm 23, teaching, but d probs is I'm happy when I see people in relationships but I won't dare it on my own. I might talk to a guy on phone, like him, but d minute we meet, 4get it! I just want him as a friend. got lot of guys as friends but having a relationship? it just seem impossible. ladies abeg, have u experience this b4?

powers of ur father at work..

gloria34:
no time 4 long stories, I just can't settle into a relationship. I'm 23, teaching, but d probs is I'm happy when I see people in relationships but I won't dare it on my own. I might talk to a guy on phone, like him, but d minute we meet, 4get it! I just want him as a friend. got lot of guys as friends but having a relationship? it just seem impossible. ladies abeg, have u experience this b4?

powers of ur father at work..

FluidQueen:


Lol.
I know, I know.
But I'm just saying...... You'll be alright.

Mbok just gerrarahia...

FluidQueen:
I will definitely make hay when the sun shines.... But my hay and Another woman's hay aren't the same thing.


No one could dictate my happiness for me, I'm the only one responsible for my happiness. I truly know what would make me happy. And relationships isn't one of them.

Thank you.

laughs, ten years ago, playing in the sands watching who wants to be a millionaire made you happy. today these things likely don't make you feel same. how then do you plan with what makes you feel happy today, when ten years from today those things won't make you feel happy again. every woman's hay is the same thing my dear, they only have different times for realizing that simple fact. some will reliaze it early and learn from advice, some will realize it late and learn from experience. the fact remains everyone will sha realize it and see that all the guys are the same. how it's so the same for the alive and the dead, the rich and the poor, the popular and the street urchin.

maybe if you plan with what will make you happy in the next ten years and concatenate that for fourty years at least, maybe then you could say you have made a good plan. don't forget that upon realization there can only be regret never recompense. because time once passed, has passed.

if you are too young for love concerns, maybe you are right to stay away for now, but never allow your cycle to pass before you get love, so you don't end up begging for what you once had on a platter of gold. therefore always keep an eye on your cycle In life, delay things but never let it pass by completely.

an optimal life is a life built on optimal choices (best choice at the best time), else regrets are inevitable. nobody likes regrets. at least I have seen that in girls who made that mistake and assumed the sun shines at their behest and would do so as long as they wanted. what a rude awakening they got.

biacan:
Never knew you where this wise..... I feel your pain but it's not your fault since we no longer have sincere men out there...... all these boys wants to take advantage of ladies which can never happen.....

My dear Biacan please correct your sentence. It's not we no longer have sincere men out there - rather it should be there are some insincere men out there.

Some of us are still good and sincere

gloria34:
no time 4 long stories, I just can't settle into a relationship. I'm 23, teaching, but d probs is I'm happy when I see people in relationships but I won't dare it on my own. I might talk to a guy on phone, like him, but d minute we meet, 4get it! I just want him as a friend. got lot of guys as friends but having a relationship? it just seem impossible. ladies abeg, have u experience this b4?

You are a lesbian!

Maybe you haven't found "the one" yet....when you do ...the story will be different

Safiaaa:
I get your point. But everybody’s journey in life is extremely different. Your tone is “ you must get a man now and put that before everything otherwise there’s little to no hope for you later” is quite concerning. Her life must not revolve around getting a man, now or never. What will be will be. When she’s ready and mentally prepared to handle a relationship everything will fall into place. Yes the sun is shining on her now, but can she handle the responsibilities that come with it? Stop putting a time span on women, this is the exact reason why women settle or do things out of fear and end up regretting later in life. Whether it’s now or ten years from now, she can have peace within herself knowing she did the right thing. Fucck your age limitations.

wrong. everyone's path is different, yet we end up in the same path. the woman who was foolish enough to have teen pregnancy, was laughed at for years, would not feel foolish again in 20years time when she holds her grand child from the bastard. many who mocked her would come to celebrate and silently wish they also had teenage pregnancy. the fact remains is that there is a timeline for everything, an optimal timeline. the best time for everything. this doesn't mean one can't do them at other times, but they would be done in tears. this is very similar to a student who graduates with a poor results and is seeking remedies, this speaks to a woman who rejected lots of men in her prime with alot of theories, only to give up all those theories In her 30's for a little man who gave her some attention. it's the same girl, the only thing is she took her eyes off the ball, took her yes off her timeline.
it is wise to do things at the best time, to make money In your youth, to find love in your youth. it's easier then, people who choose wrongly are people who didn't keep an eye on their cycle and In haste settled before their sun's set. if you are watching your sun very well, planning with your cycle, you will never make a hasty plus bad decision.

everyone who is above 30 realizes many things they wish they knew in their 20's, those above 40 realize many things they wished they knew in their 30's. those who were wise in these period, while in their 20's planned for life in their 30's and 40's. they always made choices today that would reflect on them at least ten years from now.

only the foolish make choices based on their present situation. if you have flawless skin today, and you remeber you won't have it for long, while prostituting around, you will focus on saving for the rainy day, but if u forgot the simply fact of ageing, you will spend the money in Dubai till nobody invited you to Dubai anymore, the you start going to Shiloh. there must always be a place to go, movement to be made. up or down.

there is a timeline In this world for everyone, so why not live as optimally as possible in any timeline you see yourself. make the best choices as though tomorrow will never come, plan for it as though tomorrow must come.

Gourdoinc:
wrong. everyone's path is different, yet we end up in the same path. the woman who was foolish enough to have teen pregnancy, was laughed at for years, would not feel foolish again in 20years time when she holds her grand child from the bastard. many who mocked her would come to celebrate and silently wish they also had teenage pregnancy. the fact remains is that there is a timeline for everything, an optimal timeline. the best time for everything. this doesn't mean one can't do them at other times, but they would be done in tears. this is very similar to a student who graduates with a poor results and is seeking remedies, this speaks to a woman who rejected lots of men in her prime with alot of theories, only to give up all those theories In her 30's for a little man who gave her some attention. it's the same girl, the only thing is she took her eyes off the ball, took her yes off her timeline.
it is wise to do things at the best time, to make money In your youth, to find love in your youth. it's easier then, people who choose wrongly are people who didn't keep an eye on their cycle and In haste settled before their sun's set. if you are watching your sun very well, planning with your cycle, you will never make a hasty plus bad decision.

everyone who is above 30 realizes many things they wish they knew in their 20's, those above 40 realize many things they wished they knew in their 30's. those who were wise in these period, while in their 20's planned for life in their 30's and 40's. they always made choices today that would reflect on them at least ten years from now.

only the foolish make choices based on their present situation. if you have flawless skin today, and you remeber you won't have it for long, while prostituting around, you will focus on saving for the rainy day, but if u forgot the simply fact of ageing, you will spend the money in Dubai till nobody invited you to Dubai anymore, the you start going to Shiloh. there must always be a place to go, movement to be made. up or down.

there is a timeline In this world for everyone, so why not live as optimally as possible in any timeline you see yourself. make the best choices as though tomorrow will never come, plan for it as though tomorrow must come.

You’re not getting my point. Never did I say doing and achieving things in your prime was a bad decision to make. Is that understood? Of course, why not find love when you’re young, make money etc. The sky is your limit. However, you need to find yourself first before anything. And unfortunately that’s what most young people do not do, esp in relationships. The OP for example clearly doesn’t know what she wants and all you can say is ‘get a man’. Self development is extremely important, because if you happen to receive those blessings like finding love and making money in your prime, you will not be able to handle it and it will be gone before you even blink your eyes. So understand that age is not everything, your mentality is. It’s a combination of both, self development must always come first.

gloria34:
no time 4 long stories, I just can't settle into a relationship. I'm 23, teaching, but d probs is I'm happy when I see people in relationships but I won't dare it on my own. I might talk to a guy on phone, like him, but d minute we meet, 4get it! I just want him as a friend. got lot of guys as friends but having a relationship? it just seem impossible. ladies abeg, have u experience this b4?

change your life for good
Just give me your details besides how old are you

No I have not, I love being in relationship, if one ends, I enter another.

Chikita66:
No I have not, I love being in relationship, if one ends, I enter another.

let me know when the one you are in will End

amani63:
let me know when the one you are in will End

No, this one won't end, I will try not to end it, we must head to the altar whether my village people like it or not .

I love this my dream man, I can't afford to lose him.

Chikita66:
No, this one won't end, I will try not to end it, we must head to the altar whether my village people like it or not .

why na
I thought you be serial relationship ender

Just try one out. What's the worst thing that could happen. You're still very young

gloria34:
no time 4 long stories, I just can't settle into a relationship. I'm 23, teaching, but d probs is I'm happy when I see people in relationships but I won't dare it on my own. I might talk to a guy on phone, like him, but d minute we meet, 4get it! I just want him as a friend. got lot of guys as friends but having a relationship? it just seem impossible. ladies abeg, have u experience this b4?

Your problem is in the Village, Just Buy Plenty wrappers and Duve and share it in your village. The person will release you

Safiaaa:
So when you are over 25 you have automatically become expired ? Lool. These men are just ridiculous. Anyways please to the lady, try to understand what you are looking for in a guy. I think this is just the case of not knowing what you want. They’re so many men out there but very FEW reasonable ones. So I can definitely relate to what you’re saying. Know what you want, try to be open and follow your instincts. You’ll eventually meet a guy who will completely change your mindset. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

I swear, Anytime i see your Post, Its always interesting. Whether Useless OR Insightful response. You have a funny way of thinking

biacan:
Bye boy

SubZero

Safiaaa:
You’re not getting my point. Never did I say doing and achieving things in your prime was a bad decision to make. Is that understood? Of course, why not find love when you’re young, make money etc. The sky is your limit. However, you need to find yourself first before anything. And unfortunately that’s what most young people do not do, esp in relationships. The OP for example clearly doesn’t know what she wants and all you can say is ‘get a man’. Self development is extremely important, because if you happen to receive those blessings like finding love and making money in your prime, you will not be able to handle it and it will be gone before you even blink your eyes. So understand that age is not everything, your mentality is. It’s a combination of both, self development must always come first.

comes still to what I have said, also these is nothing like finding yourself. even at the point of death, one would still find himself which he didn't previously know about. the lady in question sounded very proud of her feelings which is an indication she has her eyes off the ball. also in the name of finding yourself, if you forget to look at your timeline, finding yourself could leave you to lots of regrets when you realize that what you actually found out in finding yourself was what you had all along. talk is cheap, action is money. thus she should get herself a man. since she clearly finds the time to go on dates with them etc but somehow is so happy to be able to discard them and have no feelings. these things are reciprocal, one day she won't have them come around so much. it's a fact of life. she better find herself fast before they stop coming around. she can decide whether she will accept the men who come to her, but she can't decide who comes to her. anyone who has dated an older lady in her 30's knows what I am saying. you would speak and treat her in ways even you know in her 20's woe betide you to do such, yet she will take in because she has hopes you would pop the question. painfully she tends to be a better version of herself in her 30's but men don't care, they want 23 year olds. everyone who has dated an older lady would know how great it is, how understanding she is, and yet she remains unmarried and dying inside to be married

if she is the type who never wants to get married, that's a different issue, even in her 50's she will have no regrets asides the one she will feel from her 60's upwards. but for a lady who knows she would love to get married someday, have kids, build a home, have career in something etc. it's wiser she looks more on her timeline and make the best decisions first before finding herself. women are like wine, they get better with age, but the are also like ommelletes, they don't look better with age. thus you see a nice older girl, struggling to get hitched when years ago men stood on queues just to get her attention. you pity such a lady but can help to laugh at her. she didn't watch her timeline.

she might have found herself, but nobody is interested in finding her anymore. a wise woman builds the two together, she tries to find herself while watching her timeline. she knows she can never find herself completely anyway, but she finds out enough to allow her make the best choice on her future mate. she settles and takes off from there chopping and changing as things come.

this is point. I hope you can get it now simplified.

FluidQueen:
Exactly! I don't get the fuss with the 30-thing.


I have friends at 30s... Beautiful flowers that men practically book appointments to meet because of their busy schedule and Ambitious lifestyle. They are mostly assertive and strong willed, these half-baked men are obviously too scared to approach them because their lights shine so bright, it blinds them.

You can lie.

Safiaaa:
I get your point. But everybody’s journey in life is extremely different. Your tone is “ you must get a man now and put that before everything otherwise there’s little to no hope for you later” is quite concerning. Her life must not revolve around getting a man, now or never. What will be will be. When she’s ready and mentally prepared to handle a relationship everything will fall into place. Yes the sun is shining on her now, but can she handle the responsibilities that come with it? Stop putting a time span on women, this is the exact reason why women settle or do things out of fear and end up regretting later in life. Whether it’s now or ten years from now, she can have peace within herself knowing she did the right thing. Fucck your age limitations.

Bikonu, Do women not have a time span? Make hay while the sun shines abeg!
Only few ladies will get above 30 & Single and be happy altogether. Anyway, you are still young na ! I go wait till next 7 years If you would still be saying the same thing.