Olumide and I were dating for almost two years. We were already talking marriage when the tragedy occurred. Olumide died in a car accident on his way from Ikere. When the news of his death reached me,I collapsed and I was devastated. But something else happened.

I discovered I was pregnant two weeks after Olumide’s death. I was so scared when I found out and I didnt know what to do. I didnt know how I was going to raise a child after the death of the father. I was also thinking it would be difficult to find a man to marry me if I have a child already. With all these thoughts,I had an abortion.

After the abortion,I started to have night mares and sometimes I see someone like Olumide crying in my dream asking me why I killed his baby. The nightmares continued for almost a year. I was too scared to tell anyone. That was six years ago.

I got married 3 years ago and since I got married,I have not been able to get pregnant. The doctors have examined me and my husband and have said nothing is wrong with both of us. But at the back of my mind,I feel guilty for aborting Olumide’s child and sometimes feel that is the reason for the delay in having my own children.

My husband’s mother isnt making things easy for me. She keeps saying that our delayed child bearing is a spiritual matter.. My husband does not believe in spiritual matters and has told me not to worry but this secret I have been holding within,could that be the spiritual reason? Recently I have been thinking about this and worse still I had a dream about Olumide,this time,he was just looking at me in the dream.

I am sad but still scared to .....

http://livelystones.com.ng/is-my-late-boyfriend-punishing-me-for-aborting-his-baby/