I met this guy and i cant think straight anymore, all i do is think of him and he has a girlfriend. He doesnt even notice me one bit and while i am going insane thinking of him all he talks about is his girlfriend who is not even in the country. I need some advise on what to do, should i spell it out for him or should i just walk?

walk there is no point wasting ur time hun.

u make it sound so easy

there is nothing worse than loving someone who doesn't share the same feelings, i've been there and i walked away, it was easy for me, mine was similar he kept going on and on about his gf, which started to piss me off

Ok, maybe you don't have such a strong character as ima1, so it may be more difficult for you to walk away. Don't panic. It's absolutely understandable. Yet you have to look on the future. You don't wanna be no home wrecker. Maybe the guy has serious plans with that girl. So there are high chances you'll end up only hurting your soul, wasting time and not noticing all the other great single guys around you! So try to get in contact as little as possible with this guy. If you don't see him it's gonna be easier.
Have will and faith. Nobody died of this. Neither will you. So walk in the arms of a guy who will cherish you as you deserve.

white nkem, he is just my perfect match, i've watched him like he was mine and i know he has feelings for me but he seems to be having this guilty feelings about his gf. He always says nice things to me and we are always very happy when we are together but he just cant say the words even though he wants to.
I can sense that he has deep feelings because when it starts getting hot, he will cut the conversation short and run away, i used to think he was just being shy until i discovered it was his girl. but i have waited so long for a guy like this and now it is hard to just watch him walk away with another woman when i know how deeply we feel for each other.

in that case tell him how u feel, and let everything fall into place

4get bout him. U Should have Realised by now that his heart already lies somewhere else even if that Somewhere iS miles away. Surely, U dont wonna be with a guy U Clearly knows loves another. U Can do better

Rhoda!!!! Longest time. How you doing?

@topic, leave him and move on. Try and put yourself in his gf's shoes. I wouldn't want any girl to go after my own bf. It's advisable for you to move on. If he wants you, then he'll come after you and then he'll pray that you're still free to accommodate him. There are many guys to choose from. You might even finds one that totally completes you more than this one does.

Im gud J just Chillin'

No point wasting ur time.

he's prolly not into u, the way u are into him.

tough luck!

hey!
i say keep tryin 2 get his attntion
aint natin wrong in tryin , just dnt waste ur whole life okay

i bet U wnt he notices U
U aint gonna be droolin over him anymore

Emenma

Tell him you want him and get this burden off u. Whatever happens afterwards, deal with it

Yeah i really dont blame the guy, I've been there too and almost got caught up, perhaps if the girl was a bit more proactive about the whole thing who knows?
Take the bull by the horn cos he's in the middle of his decision right now, all he really needs is a little push and he'll be all yours, the pressure will vanish too. Alternatively, u can walk away and try to forget him

Sista, i say you should walk. most girls have found themselves in similar circumstances. there nothing worse than a man not appreciating you. Learn that you can never force a man to like you and you know what they say about the whole "guy is the hunter and loves to go after his prey".

if you insist on staying, u two mite get together, get busy and it might be lovely for a while, but be ready to hit the road once his girlfriend comes back. Thats where his heart lies, you cant take it unless he gives it to you.

so if you dont mind just getting physical, then go ahead and pursue him, but if you know you'll get too emotionally attached then save yourself the heartbreak girl and Walk!!!

emmema
tell him how you feel and see, it would bug you for a long time if you don't know, get a definite answer good or bad, but thread carefully. Oh did you say he has a girlfriends?oh well at least they not married. My husband was with someone long distance,but he was hanging on to the relationship out of loyalty tio her and it was me he really wanted,he didn't think to approach me because he thought i would think he was a player, i too would have suffered in silence like you now, not knowing he loved me all those times and was just unsure how i would react. Go for it, if he says no then so be it, at least then you know.but whatever happens do not sleep with him till you know for sure

girl,pls walk, except u want d guy, to f**k u & dump u, u r only arousing his emotions, pls just walk away, ain't no shame in that. i hear u, it's not easy but who said it was easy, i didn't. but u have to know, that someone is there wishing yu were his and even much compatible, so go out and look 4 d one guy, and leave dis oda guy with his babe, whether d babe is alive or not, far or near ,etc

Galfriend,
Its better to get ur tots straight and focused, if approaching him would clear the air and your emotions, then do dat n do it fast.

No gain wasting your emotions on someone who's got a gal, why, bt arent your so funnie, how wld u feel if a anoda gal was after ur guy?

Remember, even if he feels you and takes u up, anoda gal might come up to say dey are more compartible,

Wot goes around, comes around

Does this all mean that this guy has stolen your heart, or did you just choose to gamble with it?

If you were in naija I would have recommended otumokpo indian portion touch and follow

The guy will develop amnesia instanta for that girl

On a serious note, maintain the platonic relationship with him, but remember that there are so many fishes in the damn ocean, most of which you never knew did exist.

whitelexi:

Yeah i really don't blame the guy, I've been there too and almost got caught up, perhaps if the girl was a bit more proactive about the whole thing who knows?
Take the bull by the horn because he's in the middle of his decision right now, all he really needs is a little push and he'll be all yours, the pressure will vanish too. Alternatively, u can walk away and try to forget him

Does this mean you are more prone to choose the "pushy" girl, rather than trying to asses each one of them and figure out which would be a better match for you?

sometimes a guy finds himself in the middle of an important decision about women and will need one to edge above the other [especially if they both match his needs very closely].

Hope this helps

There're some inconsistencies in your posts that u should address if u're really keen on gettin the right kind of advice.
In your very 1st post u said he doesn't even notice u only to say a few posts down the road 'bout how deeply you both feel for each other.
What exactly is the real deal here?

Bolarge:

There're some inconsistencies in your posts that u should address if u're really keen on gettin the right kind of advice.
In your very 1st post u said he doesn't even notice u only to say a few posts down the road 'bout how deeply you both feel for each other.
What exactly is the real deal here?

In my first post what i meant was he doesnt notice me the way i want him to, i know i sounded like he didnt notice me at all but that was because i was not happy at the time when i wrote that post. There is a way that a guy behaves when he wants someone, in his eyes and body language it is clear what he wants but his behaviour especially when we start talking very personally is strange. he will just stop flowing and say he has to go and do something immediately and that will be it. it happened each time we got close.

whitelexi:

sometimes a guy finds himself in the middle of an important decision about women and will need one to edge above the other [especially if they both match his needs very closely].

Hope this helps

No. I still believe the decision must be according to how close you too match. Every person is different, therefore one must be better than the other. It also depends on what you want from the relationship and how you approach those 2 girls.
Or it may be that you like to lay back and see women fighting for you?

@ emenna

hv U heard da song ''Ole''

Free:

@ emenna

hv U heard da song ''Ole''

nice song oo

white`Nkem:

No. I still believe the decision must be according to how close you too match. Every person is different, therefore one must be better than the other. It also depends on what you want from the relationship and how you approach those 2 girls.
Or it may be that you like to lay back and see women fighting for you?

I don't understand what you're driving at but i don't like to break hearts, getting involved with 2 women and then having to choose 1 will be very difficult for someone like me especially if both of them cancel each other out. I definitely will not allow it get to a stage where 2 women will start fighting over me, that can be controlled by dialogue.

I agree that people are different and all women are not the same but sometimes it is hard to choose because they could share different attributes at different levels but no one of them might have it all. You could like one because she's homely and respectful, and like the other because she's romantic and bold! it all depends on your priorities and how closely they are matched.

@whitelexi
  Correct yarns.

@emenma
Thanx for d clarification.

My advice is don't push it.
Allow him to make his decision and don't try to influence his judgement in any way. The fact that he's still holding on to his "absentee" lover shows he's a good man though it might seem painful to u now.Most guys I know don't tow such honorable lines.
  Do not go into any close relationship with him without being sure he's formally disengaged from his absentee babe.
This might prove to be a long and arduous approach to the issue at hand making the choice of looking for love elsewhere seem a li'l more appealing n' honorable.
Still your choice.

@whitelexi
Correct yarns.

Thank u @bolarge, good to know some peeps see it from a brother's point of view

whitelexi:

I don't understand what you're driving at but i don't like to break hearts, getting involved with 2 women and then having to choose 1 will be very difficult for someone like me especially if both of them cancel each other out. I definitely will not allow it get to a stage where 2 women will start fighting over me, that can be controlled by dialogue.

I agree that people are different and all women are not the same but sometimes it is hard to choose because they could share different attributes at different levels but no one of them might have it all. You could like one because she's homely and respectful, and like the other because she's romantic and bold! it all depends on your priorities and how closely they are matched.

Well as I suppose you've chosen one, the other must have been heartbroken. But anyway, when I said 'fight' I didn't mean physically (do they even live close to eachother?) but my their competence from ur point of view. By laying assets on the table.

white`Nkem:

Well as I suppose you've chosen one, the other must have been heartbroken. But anyway, when I said 'fight' I didn't mean physically (do they even live close to eachother?) but my their competence from your point of view. By laying assets on the table.

The other one was not heartbroken! I made sure of it. Every guy has a period in which they are vulnerable with decision making, i explained the situation to the new girl at that time of vulnerability but she wasnt proactive enough to make me change my mind and shortly after, i recovered from that vulnerability. Now i have my mind made up and the same girl has moved on to another guy so all's well that ends well

whitelexi:

The other one was not heartbroken! I made sure of it. Every guy has a period in which they are vulnerable with decision making, i explained the situation to the new girl at that time of vulnerability but she wasnt proactive enough to make me change my mind and shortly after, i recovered from that vulnerability. Now i have my mind made up and the same girl has moved on to another guy so all's well that ends well

@whitelexi, why do i have this funny feeling that wat yur saying seems so familiar and yet far from comprehension