Let me put this here to whet your appetite..

I think we should replace the word celibacy with the proper word chastity, which is basically about self respect, reverence for the gift of human sexuality.


Celibacy is something associated technically to lifelong, total abstinence of sex because of some religious vows.

The good news is that chastity is not only possible but it in tune with our very nature......Yes konji will always come but with the grace of God we can always emerge victorious......Even if we slip up..?We get up, dust ourselves and March up along the road of finding ourselves.

itsmeurLady:


Please show me the millions of girls I want to know them... secondly, celibacy is not hard?? It only shows u have zero idea of what u are talking about and just for the record, this group wasn't created for the vain reason u put up der, but I started this thread so that we can encourage ourselves to continue practicing it. Iron they say sharpens iron!

A few questions and submissions:

Do you think sexual chastity is the most important thing a man should have in order to make a great partner?

What if after all the wait it turns out that the man can't get IT up or he's gay or coitophobic, wat would be your reaction?

Are you doing this cos you want to be upright or cos you feel a man who is serious and needs to get married asap will do thr needful if you refuse him sex?

Lastly, do you think one sin is above another? Like some shameless muslims who will not mind ravishing a 12 year old but will curse you to high heavens for eating pork or drinking wine?



You can decide to be celibate for your reasons. That's great.

However it guarantees nothing. Nothing at all, not heaven or paradise, not perfect health, not success, not even a successful marriage. So always had this at the back of your mind.



In conclusion, your challenge was not sex but the fact that you have failed to start thinking like a man, even up till now.

You have also made very wrong choices in relationships and if you're honest with yourself, you have yourself to blame in most of those relationships. There are always signs and maybe you always got carried away by peripheral things.

Dig deeper within yourself and train your mind to discern honest guys who have deepseated values and believe in one man one woman.

I could go on and on but please do not think that your decision to abstain is for God so that he can send a right man your way. You will be sorely disappointed if you're not more local than emotional and begin to understand how men think.


PS: if you hadn't read the book Think Like a Man, please do.

DreamersVille24:


A few questions and submissions:

Do you think sexual chastity is the most important thing a man should have in order to make a great partner?

What if after all the wait it turns out that the man can't get IT up or he's gay or coitophobic, wat would be your reaction?

Are you doing this cos you want to be upright or cos you feel a man who is serious and needs to get married asap will do thr needful if you refuse him sex?

Lastly, do you think one sin is above another? Like some shameless muslims who will not mind ravishing a 12 year old but will curse you to high heavens for eating pork or drinking wine?



You can decide to be celibate for your reasons. That's great.

However it guarantees nothing. Nothing at all, not heaven or paradise, not perfect health, not success, not even a successful marriage. So always had this at the back of your mind.



In conclusion, your challenge was not sex but the fact that you have failed to start thinking like a man, even up till now.

You have also made very wrong choices in relationships and if you're honest with yourself, you have yourself to blame in most of those relationships. There are always signs and maybe you always got carried away by peripheral things.

Dig deeper within yourself and train your mind to discern honest guys who have deepseated values and believe in one man one woman.

I could go on and on but please do not think that your decision to abstain is for God so that he can send a right man your way. You will be sorely disappointed if you're not more local than emotional and begin to understand how men think.


PS: if you hadn't read the book Think Like a Man, please do.

Are you trying to make sense Cs u didn't make any at all,sorry to say. My staying celibate does not affect u in any way so leave me to my choices, besides I am not doing it for any man , I am doing Because I love God and I want to serve him right. I believe u are a Christian, so it's quite unfortunate that u don't get the idea. Okay because no sin is bigger than the other sin, I should be sinning deliberately. If you as a Christian, are comfortable with premarital sex then something is wrong with your Christianity. There is a problem somewhere. Mind you, there is no sitting on the fence, it's either you are a cold Christian or hot Christian, please have a rethink and change your ways!


Are you also trying to say you wait on God and God will give you something that is not good Have you ever seen a blessing from God that is incomplete, so why do u have to be negative, where is your faith in God The bible says without faith, you can never please God. I know why I am doing it and since my faith is on God, it can never fail. Learn how to profess positive words, keep negativity out of your head. A Christian life is a life of Faith. All things (not some things) are possible to you if you believe. I am going to add works to my faith to be effective. Don't worry about me, I am alright and men are flocking, trust me. In Christ, I always win!

Ps: everyone is entitled to how he/she wants to live their lives, so allow me to live mine, Thank You!

Currently on this journey and it’s just so so hard. Honestly

itsmeurLady:



Are you trying to make sense Cs u didn't make any at all,sorry to say. My staying celibate does not affect u in any way so leave me to my choices, besides I am not doing it for any man , I am doing Because I love God and I want to serve him right. I believe u are a Christian, so it's quite unfortunate that u don't get the idea. Okay because no sin is bigger than the other sin, I should be sinning deliberately. If you as a Christian, are comfortable with premarital sex then something is wrong with your Christianity. There is a problem somewhere. Mind you, there is no sitting on the fence, it's either you are a cold Christian or hot Christian, please have a rethink and change your ways!


Are you also trying to say you wait on God and God will give you something that is not good Have you ever seen a blessing from God that is incomplete, so why do u have to be negative, where is your faith in God The bible says without faith, you can never please God. I know why I am doing it and since my faith is on God, it can never fail. Learn how to profess positive words, keep negativity out of your head. A Christian life is a life of Faith. All things (not some things) are possible to you if you believe. I am going to add works to my faith to be effective. Don't worry about me, I am alright and men are flocking, trust me. In Christ, I always win!

Ps: everyone is entitled to how he/she wants to live their lives, so allow me to live mine, Thank You!

You're just like the typical average Nigerian girl.

No logic just emotions.

I hoped you would disappoint me but here you are yarning dust.

I guess those questions hit a raw nerve init? It is called being realistic and pragmatic and thinking about all the implications of something and trying to come up with solutions or what you would do if faced with such scenarios.

You think it's unlikely that he could be gay or impotent or afraid of sex? Be logical for once!

I applauded your decision and I honestly think it's great.

But obviously you're doing it for all the very wrong reasons.


All I tried to do is educate your closed mind and getting you to try to understand men more so you do not fall into the same toxic relationships Or, God forbid, marriage and you're coming at me?

Those questions are more rhetoric than anything and were supposed to evoke thoughts in you but all you can do is type nonsense to come at me?

You're trying too hard to defend yourself and it reeks of hypocrisy.

Don't even try me cos foul mouth is not just on women

itsmeurLady:
I have been through some toxic relationships and it has been terrible I'd say, I can't even start to tell it all here, but it got too tiring that I decided to let Jesus Take the Wheel, I am tired of Trying to work it out by Myself so I decided to do it God's Way this time.

For the Meantime, I'm working on myself while waiting for HIM... Focusing on My career, Spiritual life and Physical life for the main time and it has been nothing but Joy! Being A Good Person is not enough, sometimes we wish for that Godfearing person when we ourselves have not been Godfearing with our decisions. No Godfearing Person will ask for Sex before Marriage except her/his faith is shaking and dats not the person God wants to link us with.

God won't leave you guessing. He will send you signs that it's time to slow down, quiet your mind, and work on yourself while he labors on your behalf but the choice is up to you.

Below are some of the Signs God wants You to WAIT!
1) A breakup
2) Physical or mental or emotional exhaustion
3) Negative or hurtful people leaving your life
4) The feeling of being lost or purposeless
5) An opportunity to go on a long trip or retreat
6) The awareness that you have been repeating the same relationship mistakes for years
7) Persistent frustration and lack of peace

Not All God Signs are enjoyable,some of them are unpleasant and painful but it's definitely worth it.

Hi, i do have a question for you.

Ok so you have chosen to be Celibate, are you also placing this standards on the Man you chose you settle with as well?

So because I'm NOT having sex with you doesn't neccessarily mean I'm not having sex with someone else. Well, i guess its fine as long you don't know.

One thing I would like to say is, you'll only fall in love with Man when physical touch is involved. Which brings me to the question.

1. Is kissing allowed?
2. Is smooching allowed?
3. Is hugging allowed?
4. Is dry humping allowed? I hope you know what dry humping means.

5. Are you allowed to talk about sex?


If you do think you love him without sex. Who ever told you love can exist without sexual connection is lying. Love between man and woman & I'm not talking about God's love to man.

Bible says do not fornicate, its really hard honestly.

Awaitingkopa:
I have decided to go celibate. I know it wunt be easy.. But blessing give it a tryyyyy.. Let's go 3months first.. If we succeed we add another 3month..yayyyyy..
Dosnt look easy though.

Hello my sisters in the struggle

You are not dating anyone, so its easy to go celibate na. Its not like you'll be having sex with Trees

I

cruchenutii:


Hi, i do have a question for you.

Ok so you have chosen to be Celibate, are you also placing this standards on the Man you chose you settle with as well?

So because I'm NOT having sex with you doesn't neccessarily mean I'm not having sex with someone else. Well, i guess its fine as long you don't know.

One thing I would like to say is, you'll only fall in love with Man when physical touch is involved. Which brings me to the question.

1. Is kissing allowed?
2. Is smooching allowed?
3. Is hugging allowed?
4. Is dry humping allowed? I hope you know what dry humping means.

5. Are you allowed to talk about sex?


If you do think you love him without sex. Who ever told you love can exist without sexual connection is lying. Love between man and woman & I'm not talking about God's love to man.

Bible says do not fornicate, its really hard honestly.

Oga I am in a relationship, take your negativity elsewhere

itsmeurLady:
I

Oga I am in a relationship, take your negativity elsewhere

dumb head. Who's fooling who.

I never asked if you're in a relationship or not.

I asked you some questions and this is your response?Typical.

You are just fooling yourself if you cannot answer those simple questions.

You want to be Celibate but your attitude Stinks.

cruchenutii:


dumb head. Who's fooling who.

I never asked if you're in a relationship or not.

I asked you some questions and this is your response?Typical.

You are just fooling yourself if you cannot answer those simple questions.

You want to be Celibate but your attitude Stinks.

Olga your opinion does not count you are just pained and frustrated, get out of my mentions , my thread and act like a Man. Men talking like women these days. Does it look like I need your validation to live my life?

At your age you are still asking stupid questions that a kindergarten would not even ask Shame!!!

itsmeurLady:

Olga your opinion does not count you are just pained and frustrated, get out of my mentions
At your age you are still asking stupid questions that a kindergarten would not even ask Shame!!!

Yes Thank you. You can't get anywhere with your stinking attitude & thats for sure. This is a very simple question but there is a Good reason why your brain cannot process it. The question is simple: If you are going by a certain standard which is "Celibacy". Are you going to hold your partner to such standards as well or you do not care.

itsmeurLady:

Does it look like I need your validation to live my life?

Moreso, you are not educated enough to know that this is a Forum, the aim of a public forum is for people to make public contributions & engage in discussions. You should have simply posted this on your private WhatsApp if you wanted to make your thoughts private.

You need to go back school to learn how to communicate because It seems like that part of your brain is Dead.

cruchenutii:


Yes Thank you. You can't get anywhere with your stinking attitude & thats for sure. This is a very simple question but there is a Good reason why your brain cannot process it. The question is simple: If you are going by a certain standard which is "Celibacy". Are you going to hold your partner to such standards as well or you do not care.



Moreso, you are not educated enough to know that this is a Forum, the aim of a public forum is for people to make public contributions & engage in discussions. You should have simply posted this on your private WhatsApp if you wanted to make your thoughts private.

You need to go back school to learn how to communicate because It seems like that part of your brain is Dead.

I didn't make it for everyone, except you are the type that clicks on any post u see here on NL.its not for people to argue, it's for people to constructively process it, didn't u see where he was already telling me what not to do and what to do with my life. I believe NL guys, some of you just like to talk and talk Ill of ladies, tell us how we lack manners but the problem is from you. I specifically wrote that my post is not for everyone but Most people don't read. As it is a public forum , do u go on a Muslim thread to comment trash?? You have to swear an oath before you talk because they know most of you can misunderstand ppl for Africa. It takes the grace of God not to insult u people on this forum because most of you act like children. You were askingwas a question to argue and at such I won't oblige you. U can't even make a simple statement without insult. Smh, anywayz thank you for stopping by and have a nice day!

itsmeurLady:


I didn't make it for everyone, except you are the type that clicks on any post u see here on NL.its not for people to argue, it's for people to constructively process it, didn't u see where he was already telling me what not to do and what to do with my life. I believe NL guys, some of you just like to talk and talk Ill of ladies, tell us how we lack manners but the problem is from you. I specifically wrote that my post is not for everyone but Most people don't read. As it is a public forum , do u go on a Muslim thread to comment trash?? You have to swear an oath before you talk because they know most of you can misunderstand ppl for Africa. It takes the grace of God not to insult u people on this forum because most of you act like children. You were askingwas a question to argue and at such I won't oblige you. U can't even make a simple statement without insult. Smh, anywayz thank you for stopping by and have a nice day!

If you go back to my first post & read slowly, I never insulted you in any way. I was asking a valid question with details because I have been Celibate myself before more than you. One full year, dating a lady who claims to be Celibate & I know all she did & what went though. So I asked my questions to the lowest detail.

Your post is public & currently trending, I am a christian & I have every right to comment, you also have no right to call people's comment trash because you do not agree with it & last time I checked there is Freedom of media which allows their communication & expression to be considered a right to be exercised freely. By saying this, I also have the right to go to a Muslim thread as well, as long as I do not insult their Religious cause.

You don't need any grace not to Insult someone, It's your attitude. No amount of Spiritualism & prayers would change that.

cruchenutii:


If you go back to my first post & read slowly, I never insulted you in any way. I was asking a valid question with details because I have been Celibate myself before more than you. One full year, dating a lady who claims to be Celibate & I know all she did & what went though. So I asked my questions to the lowest detail.

Your post is public & currently trending, I am a christian & I have every right to comment, you also have no right to call people's comment trash because you do not agree with it & last time I checked there is Freedom of media which allows their communication & expression to be considered a right to be exercised freely. By saying this, I also have the right to go to a Muslim thread as well, as long as I do not insult their Religious cause.

You don't need any grace not to Insult someone, It's your attitude. No amount of Spiritualism & prayers would change that.

Now I can relate, sorry if I insulted you in any way... It is better when you communicate like this, sorry about the way I sounded earlier!

cruchenutii:


Yes Thank you. You can't get anywhere with your stinking attitude & thats for sure. This is a very simple question but there is a Good reason why your brain cannot process it. The question is simple: If you are going by a certain standard which is "Celibacy". Are you going to hold your partner to such standards as well or you do not care.



Moreso, you are not educated enough to know that this is a Forum, the aim of a public forum is for people to make public contributions & engage in discussions. You should have simply posted this on your private WhatsApp if you wanted to make your thoughts private.

You need to go back school to learn how to communicate because It seems like that part of your brain is Dead.

Hi bro, I clearly understand ur points and they are quite valid for certain relationships, circular ones especially bt there are people who have other choices of relationships and it will be unintelligent not to recognize that also, everyone cannot be thesame doesn’t mean they won’t still get what they want in life. I hv twin cousins who followed similar part like she and they are both married now with nice husbands and even have kids.

She’s chosen a path and it’s not wrong or abnormal in any way. It’s also based on her faith which is also great. All she must have is wisdom to work with her faith and she doesn’t necessarily have to comprise if she doesn’t want to. If she does it will be for significant reasons inline with same faith. What she doing definitely not everyone’s popular choice bt it does work based on ur association and belief. U can’t choose to be celibate and still want a club boy. So I believe she knows best what she wants and it’s just fine.

jaxxy:


Hi bro, I clearly understand ur points and they are quite valid for certain relationships, circular ones especially bt there are people who have other choices of relationships and it will be unintelligent not to recognize that also, everyone cannot be thesame doesn’t mean they won’t still get what they want in life. I hv twin cousins who followed similar part like she and they are both married now with nice husbands and even have kids.

She’s chosen a path and it’s not wrong or abnormal in any way. It’s also based on her faith which is also great. All she must have is wisdom to work with her faith and she doesn’t necessarily have to comprise if she doesn’t want to. If she does it will be for significant reasons inline with same faith. What she doing definitely not everyone’s popular choice bt it does work based on ur association and belief. U can’t choose to be celibate and still want a club boy. So I believe she knows best what she wants and it’s just fine.

Thank You For Understanding!

itsmeurLady:


Thank You For Understanding!

Yup. Just be opening minded and don’t scare off or judge those who don’t see ur point yet. They may still have best intentions.

This book helps explain the whole concept of waiting

Why Waiting Works is the self-proclaimed, most practical book ever written on the subject of waiting to have sex until marriage. While some books have been written, few, if any, have ever broken it down as clearly. Why Waiting Works deconstructs the myths and misconceptions associated with the often misunderstood, but vital to understand subject. It’s the common sense approach to dating and finding true love.

Have you ever wondered, WHY WAIT? WHAT’S THE POINT? WHAT SENSE DOES THAT MAKE? Maybe you think the idea of waiting is a dated concept. Why Waiting Works offers practical advice to avoid the common pitfalls made by many when it comes to sex and dating.
It is a ‘How to’ for doing relationships in a different way.

It covers the timeless principle of delayed gratification to get what we want MOST instead of just what we want right now—in every area of our lives.