bizgirl:

hello NL
please your candid advise is needed here. my childhood and closest friend now 33yrs and still single is in love with a married man.she had many disappointments in the past which made her believes love does not exist. all of a sudden she came across this married man and father of two who showers her with all you will expect from a lover. initially she declined his proposal but now she cant even breath without him.
is love still blind? because the two of them even practice diff religion. As per the man he really wanted my friend claiming that he will make her happy always, of which he has been doing. please help me advise her as her pastor or parents will not even consent to this. but it is 100% sure she has made up her mind that it is this man or nobody else.
your objective opinion will be well appreciated.

justwise:

She will still be single at the age of 63 if she keeps dating married men

justwise:

She will still be single at the age of 63 if she keeps dating married men

olanmuis:

This is a no no no!

If she want to be happy in life, she should not attempt to distroy another marriage!

Hey, there are a lot of good guys out there who can be her hubby, she just have to be focused, re-defined are desires and make are self acessible! I am willing to give her some tips on how to get married within 6months, believe me.

Falajuro:

Now, before we start deviating again from what I call the "Need" I do have some basic questions answered by the *Poster*.

1. What does your friend do for a living?
2. What did the man promised, and has been fulfilling?
3. Has the pattern of dating been consistently with married men, or mixed?
4. Is she a career woman?
5. Do you know if she seriously want to settle down finally?
6. Has she ever mentioned the idea of having babies with you?
7. Does she love the idea of average comfort, or high class?
8. Does she love to the extent of listening to, and accepting your advice?
9. Does she have a child presently?

There is a tenth question that will follow when you respond to this.

Missy B:

I assent!!

justwise:

She will still be single at the age of 63 if she keeps dating married men

sylve11:


lol, oboy dis one belike swear na



@bizgirl, your friend thinks she gat real love?

Ace (f):

if u can be of help i dont mind. i really ned to change her mind at all cost.
1. she is a banker
2. the relationship is just 6 mnths old nothing much to my own undastanding
3. never dated married man b4. just fed up with guys. good xtian right from childhood.
4. not at all.
5. YES. as far back as at least 5 years back.
6. YES. and she is children loving person. she even said had it been she has one now she would have just forgotten abt married issue.
7. just to be happy. she is not an high class person.(i think i get u right)
8. she used to. but lately it seems her heart is hardened due to her unhappiness abt the whole things. loneliness.
9. NO. she doesnt but very curious abt having one from a right person.
looking forward to getting your timely response.

justwise:

Hang on! Are you bizgirl? How many IDs have you got?

justwise:

No na, think of the marriage she is wrecking.

candylips:

what is wrong is wrong

Falajuro:

*Bizgirl*/*Ace(f)*

The tenth question would have been, "What is her idea of a happy married life?"

The picture I do have from your answers is one who is expecting so much from life because
of a childhood background that was probably filled with sincerity. Later in life, she is still yet
to come to terms with the realities of today, believing that what she gives out should equally
be returned, and appreciated.

There can be no long-term solace being a concubine to, or married secretly or otherwise to a
married man. There might have been a couple of failed relationships due to inequality in loving
or in giving, yet, pulling yourself out of the doldrums require a very strong will to face the fact
that love in the world today does have different meanings, hence a person who keeps a chain
of lovers can still profess love "in the heat of the MOMENT".

All that glitters is not Gold! The question therefore arises about how one can find lasting ´security´
(not happiness) in a relationship, marriage or otherwise.

Some are lucky to be "happily married", while others are trying to make thing work between them.
In one of the threads recently, a lady wants to go out of wedlock after 10 years, even though she
has children already with the man. I know for a fact that, it is not all the relationships that she has been in
that she has been the cause of the breakup. However, at 33 even her women folk will blame her for her
problem.

She needs to look inside herself, think of what she might be doing wrong. Thereafter, she can start the following:
- She must be herself (natural). Pretence turn off right-thinking men; if a man is happy with your pretending nature and does not ask you to stop it, you end up be-friending, or even married to a pretender. Intelligent and vindictive men will reflect your colours like a chameleon.
- She must dress stylishly but sensibly!
- She must be a "how may I help you" person; accommodating and not being selective. (But, as they come she still has to "filter".)

These are the First Picture determinants.

She needs to re-define these words to suit her present situation:

UNDERSTANDING
TOLERANCE/ENDURANCE
SACRIFICE/CONDESCENDING

If she is a believer, pray!

No matter the situation, avoid desperation.

190:

bring your head come here make i Knock am!!

Falajuro:

*Bizgirl*/*Ace(f)*

The picture I do have from your answers is one who is expecting so much from life because
of a childhood background that was probably filled with sincerity. Later in life, she is still yet
to come to terms with the realities of today, believing that what she gives out should equally
be returned, and appreciated.

you be pastor or a phyllosopher. you talked as if u know her mind.your post makes a lot of senses. infact the one i have ever appreciated on this site. if you dont mind pls let us talk better on preciouslolar@yahoo.com

thanks and God bless you.

Falajuro:


The picture I do have from your answers is one who is expecting so much from life because
of a childhood background that was probably filled with sincerity. Later in life, she is still yet
to come to terms with the realities of today, believing that what she gives out should equally
be returned, and appreciated.

sevule:

@ poster, Being 33 and single is not the end of the world. She should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE date a married man. If she does this, she would regret it for ever. Babes please leave other women's husbands and find your own, abi single men don finish 4 market? [font=Lucida Sans Unicode]There is one thing babes always fail to realize - A married man would spoil you rotten and shower love and gifts on you but 9 times out of 10 he would never leave his wife for you.[/font]