franchasng:
That's why I said they can only deceive mumu guys who are not enlightened my brother.

Permit me to brag a bit: I know virtually everything in this life. Sometimes I marvel at the level of things I know

I know about space explorations u may think I am a NASA astronaut.

I know about things happening in all countries of the world u may think I have lived decades in all the countries.

I know virtually everything about military and war around the world.

I know so much about stock trading; Nasdaq, Dow Jones, NYSE, etc that u may think I work with NYSE.

I know everything happening in the leadership and politics of virtually every country that I can tell you unheard things about every country off hand without consulting internet or book.

Literature nkor, hmm don't go there.

Oil and gas sector, let me shut up

Transport and haulage sector

Ecommerce and startups

Programming, coding, etc

Offline trading business

Car importation importation from China

With the level of things I know, I can rule any country successfully at my young age

So I doubt if any Lady can fool me seriously unless I decided to ignore.

I know more than FBI, Mosad, KGB, etc.

I always thank God for the high wisdom He bestowed on me....and I always envy the lady I will finally end up marrying cos she is gonna be super lucky

So in summary, its very easy for me to know whether she is doing well financially or not.

And in as much as I don't need a dime from the lady I would marry, I must know her true financial worth and what she truly does for a living and possibly an idea of what she earns, if not the marriage won't hold.

I am the boss, I decide who to marry, when to marry and how to marry. I have paid my dues and so no lady can do shakara for me, na my turn to do shakara now, na God do am

Look, it is ok to brag, but you have to do it sensibly.

You do not know as much as you think going by your train of thought, so calm down.

Even the Einsteins of this world with all their grandiose intelligence, didn't claim to be as knowledgeable as you are claiming.

Just pray to God, He has the answer to your problem.

GodisGood4321:
For a start, I’m not a gold digger nor am mine looking for someone to take care of my bills.

A little bit about myself. I’m 32 and I’m from a humble background and by the grace of God, my hustle don begins to pay. I'm a graduate and works in a popular oil and gas firm with a monthly take-home of seven-digit. But base on the fact that I'm from a humble background and God don give me breakthrough, I'm supporting my families (siblings) and sometimes friends who are still hustling to establish themselves.

So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady. And no matter how much one think he earns, too many dependents can weary one progress and a tree can't make a forest. This engineer my desire to marry a girl from a well-to-do family, even if she doesn't earn much, but her family shouldn't be a liability. I have a reservation of being the ‘look-up-to’ person in my family and as well the ‘look-up-to’ person in a wife family as well. While one may be grateful to God for being able to be looked up to, the pressure of demand/expectation may be overwhelming and could slow one’s progress and one runs the risk of not having who to run to when his own need arises because everyone around has always looked up to you.

But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family. Besides the benefit of not having many dependents by marrying from a well-to-do family, I covert the benefit of been related to in-laws who may have some sort of relevance and influence.

I have this feeling I am settling for less than I originally desired when I see decent ladies but they are from a humble background that I do not advance things with them.

Please, I want to know if this my obsession of marrying from a well-to-do family is reasonable or I am taking it overboard. I just want to hear people opinions about my line of thought and be sure I am still in touch with reality and not just be idealism.

Marrying from a poor/rich family isn't the koko. Marry from a good home with good name, marry a lady that can stick and respect with you no matter what. Marry a lady that wouldn't want her family interference in her marriage.
Some rich homes occasionally needs your support and you much drop it fat to impress. You see, it isn't about family financial status... Its all about the lady involved.
Nothing is permanent. Rich can be poor and poor can be rich. Use yourself as an example. Some rich families are living off their parent money, when their parents are gone... Money goes gradually while some humble families have graduates or bright people, things might be great tomorrow for them.
BTW, don't you have a gf while you were hustling? If you have, go marry her.

Most girls from well - to-do families really have problems. That was why I aborted with this last one I wanted to settle down with

Mr op what you need is a woman with a well functioning brain that can sustain wealth, understanding, help you build and give you peace whether rich or poor, the issue of marriage is complicated that you can't just use a woman's family rich background as a yardstick to marry,desire a sweet and peaceful marriage

franchasng:
Story story! As if that's how you ladies marry too

Nigerian ladies are very cunning and wicked to Nigerian guys.

When a Nigerian lady from a rich home wants to date or marry, she considers the financial capability of the guy first before considering his handsomeness.

A broke guy dare not say hello to her because to her it's a taboo.

What about a Nigerian Lady that is working and earning good salary like 250k and above, she will never date or marry a guy earning below 300k monthly, that will be a big taboo for her. She considers men only based on how much money they have and not how handsome they look.

Go to US, UK. Canada, etc, Nigerian guys living there will abandon all the sweet looking chicks there and go back to Nigeria to find a broke, poor girl to marry and spend on her to become slay queen and then take her to abroad to become a modern chick, but Nigerian ladies living abroad will rather remain single till death than come back to Nigeria to look for a guy to marry and when they eventually try to come to Nigeria to find husband, they only target rich guys and guys from rich family to date and possibly marry.

They dare not date or accept to date or marry a Nigerian guy living in Nigeria and struggling to stand financially, it is a taboo.

Also a Nigerian guy earning over 500k monthly will just meet one fine broke girl from poor family and start to date her and shower her with love and gifts, and even assist her family and the next thing, he marries her and turn her life around for good without considering that she was a poor girl, but our ladies will never do same if they are the ones that have the money, so Nigerian guys must wake up.

What is good for Paul is good for Peter.

Guys marry your class only!

Stop stooping too low to marry broke girls when you have made it financially. Apply Nigerian ladies wisdom of going after rich and successful ladies of your class too, guys wake up

Me I have made it a priority now never to date or marry below my class.

I cannot date any broke girl, never!

I cannot marry any lady that earns less than 250,000naira monthly.

Marry like Royal families; they marry to keep their royal dynasty stronger and richer not just for love based on physical beauty.

Before u marry her, please check her real financial value and worth. Will she help u grow financially or help u diminish The world is becoming more and more capitalist by the day, so to survive and to build a good future for your kids, think like a capitalist; consider financial worth of your would be wife or fiancé first before u say I do

Guys go for your class, we need to learn from our ladies to avoid regrets

You may not realize it, but the op is a gold digger.

Earning 7 figures doesn't mean he is doing fine. He is broke and struggling despite that salary, and is thinking of marrying a well off lady. If the roles were reversed you will admit that he is a leech. He probably wants a good wife to lift​him and his family out of their difficulties. That is not a bad thing, but just imagine if a woman wanted that.

And if the advice is to copy the Nigerian women(a sweeping generalization which appears more stereotypic than true), then Nigerian men are the exact same women in disguise! Where is the manhood Nigerian men claim to have that they are reduced to becoming women marrying for money and its benefits? This is funny, actually.

If he wishes to marry for money, he shouldn't complain when she and her family look down on him, disrespect and emasculate him, neither should he have an opinion on her faithfulness, etc. I have found Nigerian men to complain a lot about these things. They always want respect but it seems many are gold diggers. This thread proves it.

GodisGood4321:
But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive

This is the basis of your problem bros. People only submit in LOVE, not because you are the man, or because they are supposed to be women or wives! Don't you want a woman that will add to you and enable both of you grow, rather than one that just says OK and YES? There's nothing wrong in wanting a woman of high social standing, but be willing to pay the price by compromising. Most of them are raised to be independent, lacking nothing and won't beg you to drop chop money for them. And to be honest, if you're hardworking and sincere, a rich girl and her family will only (if they love you sha...) make way for you to reach the top.

zaragal:



Thats your opinion bro...i believe i am entitled to mine.

Btw the guys who married ladies from humbled background and who didnt have his finances wreck. Maybe u can go n help him wreck it for him okay??

Abi na ny force .

Look! How u have it all figured out like u live in everybodys life.

Goodbye jor

Marriage itself comes with challenges because two strangers with different backgrounds and upbringing and sometimes different cultures and religion are coming together to start a family. Definitely, there will be challenges. Now, the risk mitigating factor is to reduce the challenges in the future, not avoid them. Hence, people tend to marry within the same tribe/race, class, religion etc.

Being from a poor or rich background does not guarantee a successful marriage. Neither does all the other factors highlighted. However, it is better to minimize marital issues.

People keep believing in the fallacy of LOVE. Love is a minimal factor for marriage. If you doubt me ask those that practice arranged marriage. In fact arranged marriage has a higher success rate than stumbled/love marriage.

I tend to agree that men should consider the family and work/professional background of their intended wives. Women do it to and not just Nigerian women. Most women. I will strongly advise men to NEVER marry a girl from a poor family regardless of how pious she might be. In fact even if the girl is the MD of her company - don’t marry.

If you ever get confused on how to marry - just remember this - Marry for success, upliftment, connection.

I wish I could explain more. Maybe when I find the time

viexcey:


Marrying from a poor/rich family isn't the koko. Marry from a good home with good name, marry a lady that can stick and respect with you no matter what. Marry a lady that wouldn't want her family interference in her marriage.
Some rich homes occasionally needs your support and you much drop it fat to impress. You see, it isn't about family financial status... Its all about the lady involved.
Nothing is permanent. Rich can be poor and poor can be rich. Use yourself as an example. Some rich families are living off their parent money, when their parents are gone... Money goes gradually while some humble families have graduates or bright people, things might be great tomorrow for them.
BTW, don't you have a gf while you were hustling? If you have, go marry her.

I am sorry, I disagree. Only a wicked lady would ignore her family problems because she is married. You are certainly right that a rich man may get poor and a poor one may become rich. However, a rich man who gets poor never remains poor except he is a stupid kind like the one who married a poor girl, instead of strengthen allies and connections through marriage. Have you ever wondered why political position and contracts circulate within a certain class or group of people! Think again.

When it comes to marriage - Women are smarter than men. I think it’s high time men got smarter about it. A woman would marry you if she thinks that your future earning potential is sufficient for her and secure. However, when there is financial challenge, she would dump you or when a richer man comes around.

Gets please get your money up and don’t be a Captain save a Hoe. If you are from a poor background, fine marry within your class if you think it’s right. If you want to move up and you are not married yet, NEVER, I repeat NEVER marry a girl from a poor background.

madampresident:
sorry to say this... I already feel sorry for you. Marry a girl because she is decent not because she or her family is well to do. It is easier to build wealth with a decent lady than to retain wealth with one who the only thing she has to offer is coming from a well to do home.

I don’t understand why you feel sorry about his choice, I know for a fact more ladies live to marry from richer homes than their why can’t a guy desire that too ?

Note this is not what I desire because I will beat many to stupor over nonchalant altitude so I know for a fact I will not marry from a rich home but every should be entitled to their desire no matter how biased it might seem.

madampresident:
sorry to say this... I already feel sorry for you. Marry a girl because she is decent not because she or her family is well to do. It is easier to build wealth with a decent lady than to retain wealth with one who the only thing she has to offer is coming from a well to do home.

Godisgood4321, listen to this lady here.

franchasng:
from the company she works with, you will know. From how she lives and how her family lives, u will know unless the guy na ode

I know successful people when I see one. Its not about living abroad oh, majority of Nigerians living abroad are not successful, they are struggling, just that the advantage of inflation and high exchange rate makes it seem like they are financially successful when they come back and change the hard currency they returned with.

So if u are a guy who is financially successful legally, u should be able to know a Lady that is successful when u meet one.

Believe me, this reason of guys looking for their class to marry is one reason many financially

I understand Ur point. i'm from a poor home (average kind of), trying to make way for myself, supporting my family then i will go ahead and marry someone i earn more than with financial responsibilities like me, even my spirit will not agree

cherriex:


Oga well done but don't be too proud, I know almost everything about everything too, I am a typical Virgo, I have a bookshelf full of books from religion (Christianity, Islam, Bhudaisim, Hinduism, Kabbalah, etc) authors, plants, animals, world history and almost everything u mentioned, but sorry to burst your bubbles, you still don't know it all, you haven't figured it out all and the foolishest (no word as such, by the way) of all things will still damn you, do not boast of your wisdom, it's not a wise thing to do, a lot of us are born with wisdom, insight and high intuitions,some of us can predicts things and it occurs with exact precision, just try and be humble.Anyways your future wife go hear am.

I am very humble and ordinary in real life oh, my future wife is a very lucky lady if she behaves

Honestly I no get wahala, always happy and smiling but don't take bullshit especially from ladies cos I grew up around guys

Respect55:
Most girls from well - to-do families really have problems. That was why I aborted with this last one I wanted to settle down with

I am sorry to burst your bubble, girls in general come with a lot of baggage, whether rich or poor. So your train of thought is invalid. What is more important is to what extent would those baggage affect you. And believe me, poor girls with baggage can't be tolerated

I learnt something from this

jorion:

I am sorry to burst your bubble, girls in general come with a lot of baggage, whether rich or poor. So your train of thought is invalid. What is more important is to what extent would those baggage affect you. And believe me, poor girls with baggage can't be tolerated

Comment from an experience man. Well said. The attitude of a poor girl and a rich girl are almost the same. Why suffer yourself some more by picking a poor girl, that’s double wahala. Better to tolerate a rich girl than a poor girl. In fact Na the poor ones dey disturb pass because they would use you to accomplish those missed childhood dreams and experiences

holysaint1:


hope you dont mind me asking... But... Are you still in pry/sec school ??

I really do mind you asking

[b][/b]

Tellemall:


You may not realize it, but the op is a gold digger.

Earning 7 figures doesn't mean he is doing fine. He is broke and struggling despite that salary, and is thinking of marrying a well off lady. If the roles were reversed you will admit that he is a leech. He probably wants a good wife to lift​him and his family out of their difficulties. That is not a bad thing, but just imagine if a woman wanted that.

And if the advice is to copy the Nigerian women(a sweeping generalization which appears more stereotypic than true), then Nigerian men are the exact same women in disguise! Where is the manhood Nigerian men claim to have that they are reduced to becoming women marrying for money and its benefits? This is funny, actually.

If he wishes to marry for money, he shouldn't complain when she and her family look down on him, disrespect and emasculate him, neither should he have an opinion on her faithfulness, etc. I have found Nigerian men to complain a lot about these things. They always want respect but it seems many are gold diggers. This thread proves it.

My dear brother wake up, romantic love is a fallacy, it does not exist.

Romantic love is a tool used by people; mostly women to manipulate men for their selfish gains.

Why do you guys value this submission and wife submissiveness blah blah only when an average guy wants to marry a lady of his class or a bit above his financial class, why is it a crime

Why didn't you people remember submissiveness of wife when Indimi son married President Muhammadu Buhari's daughter Zahra

Why didn't you people talk about wife submissiveness when that guy married Dangote's daughter

Super rich people are rich not by mistake but because they understand how life works and they marry mostly to keep their wealth growing and expanding not just based on physical beauty and romantic love.

It is only the poor and average middle-class people that always want to die for love and submissiveness.

If there is money and your wife refuses to submit, the most important thing is to make sure she has given birth to your biological children, and if she says she won't be loyal to you bingo; you find solace outside na, abi you don't know that 99% of successful men find more solace outside their marriage

Think like a capitalist, don't die because of love and submission, bra think beyond those things, focus on keeping a sustainable and assured future for your kids, if marrying a Lady of your class or one above your class will help you achieve that supreme goal, go for it and stop looking for submission and love.

How many wife of poor men of today are submissive to their poor husband self, wake up oh, if you like don't okay

Mind you, we aren't fighting, just airing my opinion on this, we are still cool anyday

gloria34:
I understand Ur point. i'm from a poor home (average kind of), trying to make way for myself, supporting my family then i will go ahead and marry someone i earn more than with financial responsibilities like me, even my spirit will not agree

its well sis, see don't let me opinion change your own belief. You know every guy can never think like me, there are millions of financially buoyant single guys searching for beautiful broke ladies to marry, they don't care, they have a different belief about life and I pray u find one soon.

CanadianNaija:


Look, it is ok to brag, but you have to do it sensibly.

You do not know as much as you think going by your train of thought, so calm down.

Even the Einsteins of this world with all their grandiose intelligence, didn't claim to be as knowledgeable as you are claiming.

Bros, I have the right to brag, it doesn't concern u okay

I bless God for the enormous wisdom he bestowed in me, and if it pains u go and jump into the nearest lagoon it doesn't concern me, nonsense

If you think its easy, go get your own sense na and leave me with my own sense na, haba

jorion:

I am sorry to burst your bubble, girls in general come with a lot of baggage, whether rich or poor. So your train of thought is invalid. What is more important is to what extent would those baggage affect you. And believe me, poor girls with baggage can't be tolerated

Shebwill be like, "that's not how it is done in my family;that is not how I was brought up...."

Before u know it, she is already abusing me. She once told me her dad's servants are richer than me. I suffered in her hand. Now she wants me back

Nothing wrong with your expectations. I also do not have any business with a broke guy.

Boss13:


Based on her industry and grade level, you would be able to ascertain the salary average.

Grade fire. Girls know the reason people ask this question. She will tell u something commensurate with the salary she wants you to know.

franchasng:
its well sis, see don't let me opinion change your own belief. You know every guy can never think like me, there are millions of financially buoyant single guys searching for beautiful broke ladies to marry, they don't care, they have a different belief about life and I pray u find one soon.

Not at all. I am really not after marriage right now but when d time comes, i hope to meet a guy who we Dont have to worry much about money and he shouldnt be d sole bread winner of his family. That burden is just too much

lastclaire4:


Lol I am laughing cos when your type finally meets the girl they don't hear anybody. Let's see how it goes and remember to update us here.

hahahaha, I like your type that allow nature to take its place lol.

I don't dispute the fact that I might end up marrying below my class finally, but it is my desire like the op to marry within my level, and if by nature's making I end up with a lady below my par, I will make sure I help her come up to my taste and if she refuses or keeps dulling, I will call it quits for real.

I love focused and ambitious ladies who are friendly, and not rude; I have met such ladies in the past but then I wasn't just into ladies for no reason I can tell, so there are still successful ladies that are friendly, reasonable and well mannered, one just need to take his time and don't rush or be desperate in your search to find them.

I am not the type of guy that want my lady to be cooking and cleaning for me, I hated this even when we were in school, I always abuse my guys that do that.

I am not a foodie; I eat like bird, I pick, I am highly choosy with food and food don't make me go gaga so I don't need a wife to be my cook or cleaner or house girl. If we need one, we hire.

I once had a house keeper that comes to take care of my house chores some time ago until I was advised that its bad because of the so many ills we hear in the world today before one uses his hand to hire his killer.

So I am not those kind of guys looking for a submissive house maid as wife, I have a different notion about life and marriage entirely and if I don't find what I desire I may stay single for life its not a crime my parents have plenty enough grandchildren already.

I just need a friendly lady, jovial, humble, smart, financially valuable, focused and hot looking

Dee9977:
I also have that mindset but you limit it to marrying a wife that is last born in their family ... to avoid much responsibility

lol. Some last born are the pillar of their families oo

naijacentric:
God bless u sir wisdom will not kill u but bros i dont blame naija gurls its out grandfathers n fathers dat spoilt the society we are the ones suffering it as i speak to u i dont want to marry any naija gurl wether home or abroad i had enuf of their troubles. Even our african sisters are better off

hahahahaha, easy oh, there are sweet ladies among Nigerian ladies oh, sweet and financially valuable ones who are not parasite, and not wicked and prideful like some fools

If u are ready to settle, talk to your mom, aunts, valuable friends, and be active on worthy online discussion forums like Nairaland and believe me u will find one.

Don't write off all our ladies, cos there are amazing ones; I have friends married to great ladies and they inspire me too, so don't give up on our ladies pls

Respect55:

Shebwill be like, "that's not how it is done in my family;that is not how I was brought up...."

Before u know it, she is already abusing me. She once told me her dad's servants are richer than me. I suffered in her hand. Now she wants me back

U no even happy say na rich man pikin they insult u. Poor girl don look u up n down, whine mouth for you before. At leaest she shows you that attitude, a poor girl won't until ur pepper dry. Fear poor girls o. A girl like that would take you out, cook u meals, spoil u once in a while, she contributes generally. No try am with poor girls o. with poor girls, u give them gifts on their birthday day and also give them gifts on your own birth day. I won't lie to you, I hardly talk to poor girls, infact I am allergic to them. They hate me for being a snob, I hate them for being parasitic.

franchasng:
I am very humble and ordinary in real life oh, my future wife is a very lucky lady if she behaves

Honestly I no get wahala, always happy and smiling but don't take bullshit especially from ladies cos I grew up around guys

Chief don’t allow people discourage you. You are on the right track. There are certain things I want to say but out of respect for the concerned people involved.

dumaro:
Are you open to equality in marriage or you want a 80% submissive wife?
and @Godisgood you have to be willing to compromise chances of getting all in one is slim.....
A well to do lady might come with attitude problem and vis a vis.
Just pick your poison. Plus your first post was in June, this December how far? Has your views or wants been updated?

If u read my response to some quote s above, u will find my answer to the question of submissiveness of a wife.

Why is it mostly broke and middle-class men that are always after their wife being submissive

Don't you see wedding news of successful guys marrying rich ladies and ladies from very rich families, have they all died

I repeat, Nigerian guys should learn to marry like Royal families; they don't marry for love or physical beauty or submissiveness of the woman, they marry mostly to for Royal status, and for expansion of their family royal dynasty, which is why they keep prospering from generations to generations.

How many nowadays wife of broke or financially struggling men are even submissive to their husbands when our ladies are already trying to become the men of the house, so let them also come with equal money and financial worth, bingo

jorion:


U no even happy say na rich man pikin they insult u. Poor girl don look u up n down, whine mouth for you before. At leaest she shows you that attitude, a poor girl won't until ur pepper dry. Fear poor girls o. A girl like that would take you out, cook u meals, spoil u once in a while, she contributes generally. No try am with poor girls o. with poor girls, u give them gifts on their birthday day and also give them gifts on your own birth day. I won't lie to you, I hardly talk to poor girls, infact I am allergic to them. They hate me for being a snob, I hate them for being parasitic.

Na just Heaven go save us for this world

Boss13:


Your advice is classic. Though harsh, but it’s the truth. Your advice should be the go to standard for choosing a spouse. What you explained is called Female Hypergamy. Women tend to marry up, but many men don’t care and then begin to face difficulties. Only sensible men apply this logic.

many guys who were once successful became broke after some years they got married, why

Too much financial load in the name of forming the man of the house nonsense!

Nigerian guys need to wise up seriously. Because u are earning 300k monthly, you then go to your village to go marry one ill mannered poor girl and bring her and her numerous financial problems into your life, tell me why won't u suffer financially with time

Some claim women bring favor, why must she bring financial favor to your life and not financial value, tell me

Nigerian guys must wake up from their slumber. You can date any class of lady for fun but once u want to marry, shine your eyes and consider her financial value and what she earns, unless maybe u have plenty enough money and investments and ready to establish her to become financially relevant too, if not, na suicide mission it has brought so many Nigerian men back to square 1