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"Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert - Romance - Nairaland

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"Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by correctbae: 2:46pm On Jun 11, 2018
Nigeria relationship counselor, Allison Hyacintho has taken to his Facebook page to give his opinion between best friends and lovers. According to his post, many people have loose good friendships just because they bring in their emotions. He further said people need to understand when people are good for friendship and when they are good for relationships.

His full post:

So relevant!
I need someone to understand that God did not put every person in your life for you to date.
Alot of us make that mistake all the time. Just because we are best friends does not mean we will be best lovers.
Just because our friendship is right does not make us right for eachother.
Some of us have lost some great friendships because we stretched forward beyond where God intended for us to stop.
Dear friend, you need to understand when people are good for friendship and when they are good for a relationship. Most times we just go on and ruin a very good friendship because we are leaning on our emotions. God plants people in your life to help you and comfort you for a season and with a reason , but we always go and mess things up by dating the people He has put in our path to help us get to where He is taking us.
Some of you reading this peace have dated and broken up with your destiny helpers, because you didn't have the wisdom and the self control to know that where you both are is where God wants you two to be, nothing more.
The worse thing about some of these relationships is that it often never ever last past the first six months. We just assume that our relationship will pan out the exact same way as our friendship; good, free flowing, be yourself with someone who understands you, communicate and play like the besties you already are.
Oh alot of us come up with the most popular excuse to ask a bestie out or to accept a bestie's love proposal;
"We are best friends, we understand each other so well, it makes it easier"...
Please understanding this if you can;
There is a huge difference between understanding in friendship and understanding in a relationship.
Friendship is usually 10X easier. There are no serious commitments, no silly love expectations, no responsibility on anyone even as a bestie bestie, we are fine whether our affections are reciprocated or not, we are good even when you don't call for weeks, in our heart we are still besties, and any month you remember to call we will spend hours talking and catching up on all the times we have been disconnected. It's just plain easy to be friends with someone you owe no emotional attachment, at least I like all your facebook photos and comment on your post once in a while, no friendship lost.
But the moment you switch it on to dating, it becomes 10X more work, 10X more commitment, 10X more responsibility. It is never the same as when you were just friends, now there are expectations, now its not okay for you to call me whenever you want, you cannot even go silent on me for a day, even when your phone gets stolen I aspect you to call me with your brother's phone. No airtime credits? Well, borrow from MTN and reach out to me. It's never the same.
When you start dating you soon realise the friendship was a better place for you, because you begin to realise that your bestie is not that bestie enough to draw that kind of a deep commitment from you. After the first six months it is not as fun as it used to be, because now you can no longer see me when you want to see me.
It's not the same guys. God did not put everyone In your life for you to date, I learnt this lesson after I had messed up all the significant friendships that God put in my path. Do not behave like Uncle Allison of that year ��, you'll just date and breakup with someone that God has planted in your life to invest 15billion into your business, because you are quarrelling with the spirit of discernment.�#toolateforyourmarriagetofail #confessionsofagoodman #allisonhyacintho

Source: https://correct.com.ng/we-ruin-lot-of-good-friendship-with-emotions-not-all-best-friend-can-actually-be-best-lovers-relationship-counselor-allison-hyacintho-says/

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Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by MANNABBQGRILLS: 4:41pm On Jun 11, 2018
SO TRUE : This is where the word 'FRIEND ZONE' originated from!!




Alot of us make that mistake all the time. Just because we are best friends does not mean we will be best lovers.
Just because our friendship is right does not make us right for eachother.
Some of us have lost some great friendships because we stretched forward beyond where God intended for us to stop
.

18 Likes 3 Shares

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by Nobody: 4:41pm On Jun 11, 2018
Romance
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by Jamesmatic(m): 4:41pm On Jun 11, 2018
Are you sure about this smiley

5 Likes

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by DIYhackers: 4:42pm On Jun 11, 2018
Yeye relationship expert everywhere, many of them can't keep a relationship for 6 months

15 Likes

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by Apina(m): 4:42pm On Jun 11, 2018
More reasons why you should marry your friend but not all friends are meant for dating. There are different levels of friendships and thus the levels of comitments are also different. Communication has been a major issue in marriages and thats why your partner should be someone whom you can connect with outside the bedroom which is just one of the many rooms in a home undecided

2 Likes

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by Nobody: 4:42pm On Jun 11, 2018
I agree with this.

intimacy and feelings usually spoil a good platonic frienship.

4 Likes

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by IsaacBuchi(m): 4:42pm On Jun 11, 2018
Lets cut the talk and get to the chase - What do you want? Friendship or relationship? It's that simple.



tongue

1 Like

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by fistonati(m): 4:42pm On Jun 11, 2018
But many people assume that friendship is automatic qualification to courtship.

LET US BE WISE

4 Likes

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by lawalosky(m): 4:43pm On Jun 11, 2018
ok....
.
.
we honestly need to amend some of this weird behavior.
.
.
will it be possible in BENUE
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by swiz123(m): 4:43pm On Jun 11, 2018
A man can't be just friends with a woman; except, of course, if he is a sissy.

A dog can never protect a bone.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by maestroferddi: 4:43pm On Jun 11, 2018
Na who we go ask?
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by phaphyz05(m): 4:43pm On Jun 11, 2018
Hmmmmmmmm
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by IMASTEX: 4:43pm On Jun 11, 2018
Hmm
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by Odunharry(m): 4:44pm On Jun 11, 2018
This is one sad truth many people need to know

1 Like

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by kristen12(f): 4:44pm On Jun 11, 2018
Annoyingly true. You don't throw shots to everyone in your life

2 Likes

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by DreamersVille24(m): 4:44pm On Jun 11, 2018
i still find it preposterous that people link God with dating and marriage.

God has given you a brain, using it or not is entirely your choice.

This OP is trash!

5 Likes

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by Celestyn8213: 4:44pm On Jun 11, 2018
Buh they can bleep without strings attached

1 Like

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by IMASTEX: 4:45pm On Jun 11, 2018
True. Not all best friends. Still it is best to marry your friend.
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by larmu(m): 4:45pm On Jun 11, 2018
lawalosky:
b
For bread
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by omooba969(m): 4:46pm On Jun 11, 2018
Nonsense!
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by naijacentric(m): 4:46pm On Jun 11, 2018
Its rare but most times its good
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by Divay22(f): 4:47pm On Jun 11, 2018
Celestyn8213:
Buh they can bleep without strings attached
It's definitely gonna hit the rock...


He's right though
Know when to draw the line.

1 Like

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by Nobody: 4:47pm On Jun 11, 2018
Na u Sabi @ Op
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by RatedStar: 4:48pm On Jun 11, 2018
Well in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking at this matter in a different way and without fighting and by trying to make it clear, and by considering each and every ones opinion, I honestly believe that I have completely forgotten what I wanted to say...

8 Likes

Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by sammirano: 4:49pm On Jun 11, 2018
This guy sha
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by babyfaceafrica: 4:49pm On Jun 11, 2018
We know..but it is better to start with been friends first
Re: "Not All Best Friend Can Actually Be Best Lovers - Relationship Expert by Nobody: 4:49pm On Jun 11, 2018
So true. Been there before.

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