pocohantas:
OP, I believe the aim of the other thread wasn't really to discourage appreciation. I guess we muddled it all up while arguing with sentiments.

Like you said, this lady didn't rub it in your face. While her actions might be considered a favour, she stuck with you because there was something she saw in you, something more valuable than money.

So, the point is. For ladies who date these broke guys, especially the ones that are broke too...they shouldn't act like their action is a wonder of the world. Maybe it is in a Nigerian setting. They are both broke, while he is hustling, she should hustle too. She shouldn't just sit back, 'supporting' him...and wait for all the accolades That way, if he decides not to appreciate you, you have your own life going on for you. This applies to men too.

@ emboldened

I have seen these lines for days now i.e. I have seen people state that a lady can stick by a financially inadequate man without providing practical support or any support whatsoever and I can't quite figure out how that can happen.

In addition to that, the reality in the Nigerian dating scene favors financially inadequate ladies when it comes to choosing a partner. So although it is not entirely a favor to date a broke guy, some of these ladies might actually be spoilt for choice, unlike their male counterparts.

Hence, I laughed at Mrs Chidima's assertion that she pitys the male gender for not having the opportunity to go through motherhood because we as men have our own struggles in life.

That said, we are also in a world where individualism is being heavily promoted ahead of the collectivism we all grew up knowing.

For example, it is not uncommon to now find people in a social event more interested in looking up updates on their phones rather than actually socializing with people, it is not also uncommon to see people desert their so called friends In times of need, even here on NAIRALAND some "so called friends" might quickly abandon you when facing a faceless trolling exercise.

Therefore, the worth of friends or companionship at any point in life not to talk of during hardtimes cannot be over emphasized.

Iamgrey5:


@ emboldened

I have seen these lines for days now i.e. I have seen people state that a lady can stick by a financially inadequate man without providing practical support or any support whatsoever and I can't quite figure out how that can happen.

In addition to that, the reality in the Nigerian dating scene favors financially inadequate ladies when it comes to choosing a partner. So although it is not entirely a favor to date a broke guy, some of these ladies might actually be spoilt for choice, unlike their male counterparts.

Hence, I laughed at Mrs Chidima's assertion that she pitys the male gender for not having the opportunity to go through motherhood because we as men have our own struggles in life.

That said, we are also in a world where individualism is being heavily promoted ahead of the collectivism we all grew up knowing.

For example, it is not uncommon to now find people in a social event more interested in looking up updates on their phones rather than actually socializing with people, it is not also uncommon to see people desert their so called friends In times of need, even here on NAIRALAND some "so called friends" might quickly abandon you when facing a faceless trolling exercise.

Therefore, the worth of friends or companionship at any point in life not to talk of during hardtimes cannot be over emphasized.

I agree.. let me further add..that friendship and companionships should be symbiotic not parasitic..... must you be someone's friend or lover because of future financial entitlement?

Iamgrey5:


@ emboldened

I have seen these lines for days now i.e. I have seen people state that a lady can stick by a financially inadequate man without providing practical support or any support whatsoever and I can't quite figure out how that can happen.

In addition to that, the reality in the Nigerian dating scene favors financially inadequate ladies when it comes to choosing a partner. So although it is not entirely a favor to date a broke guy, some of these ladies might actually be spoilt for choice, unlike their male counterparts.

Hence, I laughed at Mrs Chidima's assertion that she pitys the male gender for not having the opportunity to go through motherhood because we as men have our own struggles in life.

That said, we are also in a world where individualism is being heavily promoted ahead of the collectivism we all grew up knowing.

For example, it is not uncommon to now find people in a social event more interested in looking up updates on their phones rather than actually socializing with people, it is not also uncommon to see people desert their so called friends In times of need, even here on NAIRALAND some "so called friends" might quickly abandon you when facing a faceless trolling exercise.

Therefore, the worth of friends or companionship at any point in life not to talk of during hardtimes cannot be over emphasized.

I also wonder too. I see it a lot here and I always wonder the possibility. If indeed it is possible, how does a serious minded man, stick to such a lady for years? I am confused

Anyway, I added that line for the ladies. Though it isn't easy for anyone to be 100% altruistic in such a setting. They shouldn't expect too much from a fellow human.

babyfaceafrica:
I agree.. let me further add..that friendship and companionships should be symbiotic not parasitic..... must you be someone's friend or lover because of future financial entitlement?

I find these statements a little contradictory

@blue
It is almost impossible to be involved In a parasitic relationship based on money when one is financially incompatible. it is only possible when one party is getting everything(money) from the said relationship without necessarily giving anything in return. Thus, it is almost impossible to be involved in such relationship with a broke guy based on money.

@red

There is no certainty in life, so why will any sensible human start counting their eggs before they hatch. So it is really strange to think that someone loves a person based on that person possible future wealth, I mean what if the person becomes more successful.

zicoraads:

The women who say that are frankly speaking, not being sincere. I know some guys now are turning out to be worse than women when it comes to gold digging tendencies, but truth be told, it will take a lot to be at the same level with what a lot of Naija ladies do.

An average Naija lady automatically expects that showing care is tied to taking care of her finances. I met one recently, who in trying to complain that I'm terrible at calling, said this: 'You have never even sent me airtime or subscribed my data, if you don't want me, just say it.' Try as I may to argue that that wasn't a nice thing to say, she stuck to her guns and was even surprised I saw anything wrong in what she said. For my mind, I just relegate am sharply to footnote, no time.

We'll eventually marry. But it won't stop us from voicing out what most of our ladies have become.

I meant, your ladies also say you men are bad, not really about gold digging. Sweetie, people just come online to act all tough and all.
Some of these our resident alphas have had that girl in uni who wa mumuing for their matter. But now all of us will act like women have never given men. Let's not forget our unmarried sisters that men have been scamming with marriage. Someday, I will tell you a story about someone

For now, let's continue to say 99.999% of Nigerian ladies are gold diggers and 99.999% of Nigerian men are scum.

pocohantas:


I also wonder too. I see it a lot here and I always wonder the possibility. If indeed it is possible, how does a serious minded man, stick to such a lady for years? I am confused

]b]Anyway, I added that line for the ladies. Though it isn't easy for anyone to be 100% altruistic in such a setting. They shouldn't expect too much from a fellow human[/b].

I agree 100% with that your last paragraph, I had to learn in a hard way during university days. Therefore, I don't necessarily expect much from anyone, even after probably sacrificing a lot.

Iamgrey5:

I find these statements a little contradictory

@blue
It is almost is impossible to get parasitic relationship based on money when one is financially incompatible. it is only possible when one party is getting everything(money) from the said relationship without necessarily giving anything in return. Thus, it is almost impossible to be involved in such relationship with a broke guy based on money.

@red

There is no certainty in life, so why will any sensible human start counting their eggs before they hatch. So it is really strange to think that someone loves a person based on that person possible future wealth, I mean what if the person becomes more successful.

blue:...I mean people should not be too dependent on a particular spouse and should not leech..if he or she gives..fine..but it is not a must!!....we are there to help each other not to suckk each other dry



red:there are people in relationship based on the fact that the fellow they are dating will make it in life.I personally know people who go spiritual when dating..when they are told their partner star is bright and he or she will make it in future..they will just clinch.. not because of love o..because they know whatever he or ahe becomes in the future they will have a piece of cake

babyfaceafrica:
blue:...I mean people should not be too dependent on a particular spouse and should not leech..if he or she gives..fine..but it is not a must!!....we are there to help each other not to suckk each other dry



red:there are people in relationship based on the fact that the fellow they are dating will make it in life.I personally know people who go spiritual when dating..when they are told their partner star is bright and he or she will make it in future..they will just clinch.. not because of love o..because they know whatever he or ahe becomes in the future they will have a piece of cake

@red Hahaha

I personally haven't seen anyone not destined to make it in life based on Nigeria spiritual concocted lies . The Nigerian spiritual leaders are full of it, they keep pushing people into unwanted union and relationships, but I understand your points now.

Regardless, I still think it is a gamble.


@blue
Being a leech is not possible with broke guys, if your assertion is based on monetary terms. Trust me I know, cause I am also a broke guy and I can barely spend 40k for my own immediate needs every month not to talk of extending a few thousands to that my Cinderella girlfriend, I happen to love so much . I will rather quit the relationship.

Iamgrey5:
@red Hahaha

I personally haven't seen anyone not destined to make it in life based on Nigeria spiritual convicted lies . The Nigerian spiritual leaders are full of it, they keep pushing people into unwanted union and relationships, but I understand your points now.

Regardless, I still think it is a gamble.


@blue
Being a leech is not possible with broke guys, if your assertion is based on monetary terms. Trust me I know, cause I am also a broke guy and I can barely spend 40k for my own immediate needs every month not to talk of extending a few thousands to that my Cinderella girlfriend, I happen to love so much . I will rather quit the relationship.

lolz.life sef na gamble.. @blue..I agree

She stuck with the guy when he was broke so the reward should be the guy sticking with her when he makes it. Abi did she spend 20% of her income on the guy then to warrant a car from him?

Its phony how most of these Nigerian ladies cant even bring themselves to spend 10% of their income on their guy talk more of housing him like white ladies normally do but really expect a lambo from him in due time.

Whatever a guy/ man does for a woman is for goodness sake unless in few special cases.

majekdom2:
It's not about ladies or a man... appreciate people who support you when you are in need of it. It's only common sense many don't have. People don't owe you that support. The fact that they gave you that support means they believe in you and they love you. It is only common sense t reciprocate and appreciate them!!

Easier said than done my dear, do people really appreciate people these days? Do u appreciate people that were there for You??
Talk is cheap in this part of the country you know?