Just the way I hate it when people say a man can love his wife and cheat on her, that's how much I hate it when some women say "his money is ours but my money is mine."

Even if you are married to a traditional man who believes it is his sole responsibility to provide for his family, surely there are certain things you can pay for in the house.

I have seen and heard certain people talk about how it is a man's sole responsibility to provide and then go on to quote a man who doesn't provide for his household is worse than an infidel. Then they crown it all with how it is the divine order.

I honestly wish I understand what they are talking about because I don't.

For me, the only divine order there is, is love.

I rather be ruled by love.

In love, you don't have to wait for your husband to come settle a bill that you can settle, especially when you know he doesn't have the money because it is "divine order."
In love, you don't watch your wife work herself to exhaustion when you can pick up some aspect of the work because it is her "divinely ordained" role.

In love, you don't watch the landlord bang the door asking for rent when you can pay it because it your husband's supposed responsibility.
In love, you don't come home earlier than your wife, cross your legs and wait for someone who is probably still in traffic to come cook for you because it is "divine order."

In love, you don't have money in your account and watch the school send your children home for school fees because it is not your "role." No, you understand that your job as a mother is not limited to making sure they eat and take their bath or that their cloth is washed. It is much more.
In love, you don't leave all responsibility of taking care of the children to your wife because it is her "role." After all you have paid school fees and you drop money for food. No, you understand that your job as a father is not limited to financial provision. Take God as your example. He cares about and wants to be involved in EVERYTHING.

In love, you don't "help" your husband pay for stuff in the home or with the children. You do it wholeheartedly because you understand that as a mother, you are a parent and parenting is all encompassing.
In love, you don't "help" your wife watch the children. You don't "babysit" your children. You care for them just as much as your wife does because they are yours and it is your duty as their father.

In love, you don't disrespect your husband because you earn more. No, you see the money as OUR money, OUR family income. You don't go about broadcasting that you earn more because you understand that two has become one, so it is simply your contribution to the family income.
In love, you don't hate on your wife for earning more or get bitter and count everything she does as disrespect. No, you see her success as yours and her victory as yours. It is our success, our victory.

In love, there is selflessness and togetherness.
In love, there is understanding and acceptance.
In love, there is tolerance and forgiveness.

So like I said, I don't understand what they mean when they say certain things are according to divine order.

I choose the divine order of love. I choose love.
(copied from ayandola ifeoluwa ayanleke)

cc: farano Rocktation Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique

Let's rule love

Nice post.

But the first question you should ask is, how many NIGERIAN men and women, truly love their spouses?

Most Nigerian men marry the woman that's willing to SUBMIT to him and be a good MOTHER to his KIDS.

Most Nigerian women marry the man that can PROVIDE for her and the kids. Be a good father, if he can be a good husband too, perfect. Though both do not come easy.

Forget love, they at best like and tolerate each other.

When you love, you forget order, you just want to see your partner happy. It isn't like that here, we enter relationships with serious formation. Each party, tries their best to ensure they incur minimal cost/risk. Then hide behind culture and religion to back up their insensitivity towards their spouse's grievances.

nice write up. I think if we follow biblical examples things will be much easier for us. we can't leave Gods standard invent our own and hope to get same result

chiommy123:
nice write up. I think if we follow biblical examples things will be much easier for us. we can't leave Gods standard invent our own and hope to get same result

And what about those whose principles are not detected by the bible, maybe they belong to other faiths or none...but are married, does it mean things are never much easier for them??

Bluezy13:


And what about those whose principles are not detected by the bible, maybe they belong to other faiths or none...but are married, does it mean things are never much easier for them??

I only said the one I know

chiommy123:
I only said the one I know

Aright.

babyfaceafrica:
Just the way I hate it when people say a man can love his wife and cheat on her, that's how much I hate it when some women say "his money is ours but my money is mine."

Even if you are married to a traditional man who believes it is his sole responsibility to provide for his family, surely there are certain things you can pay for in the house.

I have seen and heard certain people talk about how it is a man's sole responsibility to provide and then go on to quote a man who doesn't provide for his household is worse than an infidel. Then they crown it all with how it is the divine order.

I honestly wish I understand what they are talking about because I don't.

For me, the only divine order there is, is love.

I rather be ruled by love.

In love, you don't have to wait for your husband to come settle a bill that you can settle, especially when you know he doesn't have the money because it is "divine order."
In love, you don't watch your wife work herself to exhaustion when you can pick up some aspect of the work because it is her "divinely ordained" role.

In love, you don't watch the landlord bang the door asking for rent when you can pay it because it your husband's supposed responsibility.
In love, you don't come home earlier than your wife, cross your legs and wait for someone who is probably still in traffic to come cook for you because it is "divine order."

In love, you don't have money in your account and watch the school send your children home for school fees because it is not your "role." No, you understand that your job as a mother is not limited to making sure they eat and take their bath or that their cloth is washed. It is much more.
In love, you don't leave all responsibility of taking care of the children to your wife because it is her "role." After all you have paid school fees and you drop money for food. No, you understand that your job as a father is not limited to financial provision. Take God as your example. He cares about and wants to be involved in EVERYTHING.

In love, you don't "help" your husband pay for stuff in the home or with the children. You do it wholeheartedly because you understand that as a mother, you are a parent and parenting is all encompassing.
In love, you don't "help" your wife watch the children. You don't "babysit" your children. You care for them just as much as your wife does because they are yours and it is your duty as their father.

In love, you don't disrespect your husband because you earn more. No, you see the money as OUR money, OUR family income. You don't go about broadcasting that you earn more because you understand that two has become one, so it is simply your contribution to the family income.
In love, you don't hate on your wife for earning more or get bitter and count everything she does as disrespect. No, you see her success as yours and her victory as yours. It is our success, our victory.

In love, there is selflessness and togetherness.
In love, there is understanding and acceptance.
In love, there is tolerance and forgiveness.

So like I said, I don't understand what they mean when they say certain things are according to divine order.

I choose the divine order of love. I choose love.
(copied from ayandola ifeoluwa ayanleke)

cc: farano Rocktation Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique

Well written