ednut1:
Take a loan to buy a land. If u no get money no one can force u

Supported. Take loan and invest like you want to, the minute you’re done paying it off, take another loan and handle something else.

I will know if you’ll leave your loan repayments to give your mother church money.

That way you won’t have excess cash, because you can only give what you have.

Pray tell how he can set up his siblings

Do you know how much is required to set someone (much less a lot of siblings) up financially so that they don’t depend on anyone for money anymore? Where are those many hundreds of thousands if not millions of naira going to come from? From his 200k salary?

You talk like your head is in the cloud. From guilt tripping the OP, to making it about your own perfect family, You’re not being helpful. At all

Ioannes:


Sorry that you're going through all that. I guess I was thinking of my own family when I typed that. I'd kill for my parents and siblings. We love each other that much.

I can't advice you to abandon your family though.

If you can set up your siblings, that will take the burden off you a bit and they can in the nearest future also chip in to assist your parents.

Maybe destiny has set you on a pedestal to be the shining light that will lead your family out of the bondage of poverty.

Still, you need to learn the fine art of saving o. Pay yourself 10% first and foremost. Money you must never touch under any circumstance.

Seahawk:
Pray tell how he can set up his siblings

Do you know how much is required to set someone (much less a lot of siblings) up financially so that they don’t depend on anyone for money anymore? Where are those many hundreds of thousands if not millions of naira going to come from? From his 200k salary?

You talk like your head is the cloud. From guilt tripping the OP, to making it about your own perfect family, You’re not being helpful. At all

You and only you are responsible for your inability to read and understand.

Wouldn't it be nice if you read and refrained from quoting me, or is it that you can't restrain yourself?

I have made my opinion known to the op. It's his prerogative to consider it or discard it. I don't have to explain myself to you, a faceless internet user.

Now please, don't make my mentions your abode ok?

Mtchew

Ioannes:


You and only you are responsible for your inability to read and understand.

Wouldn't it be nice if you read and refrained from quoting me, or is it that you can't restrain yourself?

I have made my opinion known to the op. It's his prerogative to consider it or discard it. I don't have to explain myself to you, a faceless internet user.

Now please, don't make my mentions your abode ok?

Seahawk:
Mtchew

No need to be annoyed Mr.

I only adopted the tone you addressed me with.

A little more civility from you and I might have actually explained what I meant and how I hoped the op would accomplish that which I advised him.

Maybe you wanna try again? This time without the insults, huh?

Give your explanation to the OP. I’m certain he would love to learn how he can set his siblings up. Thanks

Ioannes:



No need to be annoyed Mr.

I only adopted the tone you addressed me with.

A little more civility from you and I might have actually explained what I meant and how I hoped the op would accomplish that which I advised him.

Maybe you wanna try again? This time without the insults, huh?

Seahawk:

Give your explanation to the OP. I’m certain he would love to learn how he can set his siblings up. Thanks

I would but he hasn't asked for it, so I'm assuming he's got a better option than my idea.

I would but he hasn't asked for it, so I'm assuming he's got a better option than my idea.

Set up indeed! Why didn't the people who brought them to the world set them up?

The NoHoper moniker was created at a point in my life when I felt really hopeless. I felt I wasn't in charge of my life. Felt like a victim. Felt like everyone around me was taking turns to screw me in the assss and there was nothing I could do. I was just a depressed loser.

But things have changed, thanks to a couple of books I read. I feel in charge of my life now, though I've stepped on a number of toes, lost some "friends" and "family", but it's a worthy sacrifice. Growing my savings now. I'm really at peace with myself.
Thanks to everyone who chipped in a word of advice here.

NoHoper:
34 and I have never really been happy for a prolonged period of time. Transient happy times here and there, though.

I'm under immense pressure from family members and even distant relatives to basically be responsible for their upkeep. Pretty much everyone around me expects that I place them on some sort of monthly salary. Yes like every month I should send stipends to like 7 people from my paltry 200k salary. Dad lost his job in the mid 90s and has since never bothered to get another. His unemployment status didn't stop him from bringing into the world three more souls. Mum's got some health issues so hadn't been working. She was very hardworking before the health problems started, to be fair to her.

So now I'm basically responsible for my parents' and siblings' upkeep and have been at it since I graduated 10 years ago. Haven't done anything with my life, I don't have any savings, not married. Just stagnant. I'm not saying is wrong to help others but I just feel like the pressure on me is a little too much and it's not fair. I deserve to be happy but I don't see that happening. I fear I'll labor all my life just to make my family happy while I live in perpetual sadness and pressure.

No Hope.

na you dey do nice Bobo na, trying to impress your parents bah, cos of their bullshit story of sending you to school and all dat. lol typical nigerian parent emotional blackmail.... I'd advice you change your sim card and never hear from them for atleast a year. they won't die and if they die, well its their time to go. never allow anybody come btw u and peace of mind....I repeat nobody.

NoHoper:
34 and I have never really been happy for a prolonged period of time. Transient happy times here and there, though.

I'm under immense pressure from family members and even distant relatives to basically be responsible for their upkeep. Pretty much everyone around me expects that I place them on some sort of monthly salary. Yes like every month I should send stipends to like 7 people from my paltry 200k salary. Dad lost his job in the mid 90s and has since never bothered to get another. His unemployment status didn't stop him from bringing into the world three more souls. Mum's got some health issues so hadn't been working. She was very hardworking before the health problems started, to be fair to her.

So now I'm basically responsible for my parents' and siblings' upkeep and have been at it since I graduated 10 years ago. Haven't done anything with my life, I don't have any savings, not married. Just stagnant. I'm not saying is wrong to help others but I just feel like the pressure on me is a little too much and it's not fair. I deserve to be happy but I don't see that happening. I fear I'll labor all my life just to make my family happy while I live in perpetual sadness and pressure.

No Hope.

Set a target of saving #60,000 every month and don't touch it for any reason. Not even for your own needs. To do this, discuss with your banker to create this automatic savings account for your such that once your salary is paid, that amount is automatically debited and then credit into your savings account. Do this for 18 months and then start a side hustle with it to grow your streams of income.

From the remaining one, you can spend half for yourself and the rest for your dependents.

You should not ever live for any one because none will do that for you.

Repeat the above saving to business/investment processes until you have at least three side hustles and then set up a provision shop for your mum too as this will as well reduce their dependence on you. Cheers!

Force your father to work. When your father lost his job, why did your mother continue to have children ? Tell your dad that this month would be the last time that you would give him money. You can not stop after marriage because they would blackmail you and your wife. This is the time to stop so that you can begin to save and acquire stuff. If your siblings are doing well in school, continue to sponsor them partly but encourage them to find a side hustle or learn a trade alongside. If they are not doing well in school, then don't bother to sponsor them. Start ignoring them and give them a lecture on reality. This night even make it hard to find a good wife when she sees how they suck you dry. They would attempt to make you feel bad but don't worry about it. It is a desperate move to cause you to continue.

NoHoper:
34 and I have never really been happy for a prolonged period of time. Transient happy times here and there, though.

I'm under immense pressure from family members and even distant relatives to basically be responsible for their upkeep. Pretty much everyone around me expects that I place them on some sort of monthly salary. Yes like every month I should send stipends to like 7 people from my paltry 200k salary. Dad lost his job in the mid 90s and has since never bothered to get another. His unemployment status didn't stop him from bringing into the world three more souls. Mum's got some health issues so hadn't been working. She was very hardworking before the health problems started, to be fair to her.

So now I'm basically responsible for my parents' and siblings' upkeep and have been at it since I graduated 10 years ago. Haven't done anything with my life, I don't have any savings, not married. Just stagnant. I'm not saying is wrong to help others but I just feel like the pressure on me is a little too much and it's not fair. I deserve to be happy but I don't see that happening. I fear I'll labor all my life just to make my family happy while I live in perpetual sadness and pressure.

No Hope.

. During my days at NYSC, I served myself while serving my fatherland. Cheers

NoHoper:
Mehn, these things are just getting worse for me.

So early this month I sent about 60k home, dropped 50k for ajo and the remaining for my upkeep and some bills.
Mom just called demanding for more money for her church stuffs. I told her I don't have money right now and she angrily hung up the phone. I called several times she refused to pick.

I am so confused right now...

WTF did i just read.
church stuffs?
hang up?

Guy, you try.

NoHoper:
The NoHoper moniker was created at a point in my life when I felt really hopeless. I felt I wasn't in charge of my life. Felt like a victim. Felt like everyone around me was taking turns to screw me in the assss and there was nothing I could do. I was just a depressed loser.

But things have changed, thanks to a couple of books I read. I feel in charge of my life now, though I've stepped on a number of toes, lost some "friends" and "family", but it's a worthy sacrifice. Growing my savings now. I'm really at peace with myself.
Thanks to everyone who chipped in a word of advice here.

Glad to know you're in a better state of mind

NoHoper,
It's nice to see you are better.
Can you list the steps you took to have this peace?
It may be useful for people going through the same thing.