[b]Good Afternoon good people,

Ive been dating this guy for a year and we did our introduction last year. since then, he's been trying to raise money for the wedding and house to move in.

I started noticing some funny behaviour. He chats alot with females, tells them the same thing we discuss about.
on this faithful day, he had a drama he was to perform in; he gave me the Complimentary ticket for the second show. on getting there, the first show was just finishing, i met him seeing his Ex who is a muslim off. i asked him if that was d ex, he denied it. he said she is a friend, she heard about the show and bought her ticket to watch the show. i apologized for accusing him but my indistinct still told me she's the ex.

three weeks later after, he went out for a friends Intro. and left his phone in the house, I decided to go through his phone with his password which he has being hiding from me(I stole d password)... i saw his chat with the lady and other girls. some nasty chats.
so i decided to pick only the assumed ex. number to call. i spoke to her nicely and she responded nicely too. i asked if she was my fiance's ex. she said yes. that she met me that dat after the drama and my fiancee never mentioned anything to her; instead he told her i was his friend. i asked her if she bought her ticket, she said no that my fiancee gave her ticket. that he has asked her after me before he always says im his friend.

this said ex. his parents have warned him about because of her religion. yet he still communicate with her. she even told me she has a fiance that her fiance.

i got angry and confronted him, the only thing that could come out of his mouth is " He's no longer interested that he will call my dad" on hearing that, i had to report him to the parents and two trusted friend of his. he doesn't listen to anyone nor his parents. the dad spoke with him and he told the dad there is no problem.. the mum called me and begged me to be calm.

please what should i do, im in my 30's and he is in his late 30's but i earn more than him. each time i talk of supporting so we can get an apartment, he just wave's it[/b][i]. [/i]

I will not tell you to leave him, i'll only tell you to do the right thing



if you know you know

A broken relationship they say is better than a broken marriage. Allow your instinct to direct you

Anyway, I can't judge only from your own side of the story: He may have his reason for doing what he did (New trend/tactics by dominique and pocohantas)

affigurl5:
Please what should i do, im in my 30's and he is in his late 30's but i earn more than him. each time i talk of supporting so we can get an apartment, he just wave's it

Sorry ma'am, it will be well. You will get over it and get someone that will love you. Don't be desperate to be with him, you may have dodged a cheating partner. Again, don't allow your age to make you desperate.

Another twist.

Why did you have to inform us that you earn more than him? Did you add it as the reason he has to stick with you?

Is he a nairalander?

At 30~ you say...! Still crying for a milk that will soon go more sour?

After going sour, as you said, the milk may be poured away with bath water after you put in your sweet honey!

Foolishness? Why not clean your heart now, take your live off his mention, before the days of tears come to meet you?

Common, why not do this:-
Pick your bag
Clean the past
Tell it to whoever wants to know
That your future with that guy will lay in sorrow and injustice
...

Though, if you still want to live with A MAN WHO DERIDE HIS BEST FRIENDS AND PARENTS, you need be stronger than him- TO DERIDE HIS NUISANCE and later win him away from his vices!- The Long Way Home!

I warned you, nice day.

and she had to mention that she earns more than him . No wonder he doesn't want any assistance from her financially.


he saw something to make him do introduction, use that thing to make him open up to you. a mature woman doesn't need to be told how to control her man, what is the purpose of the years spent together?

Hmmm...




Why did you go through his phone
You were looking for something, and you found it.
Maybe your relationship wouldn't have had a twist if you hadn't gone through his phone and he would have still stuck to his plan of getting married to you knowing well that you have the approval and support of his family.

Anyways, don't panic, he's just angry. He'll come around.
Or,
Call the ex and discuss everything with her. I believe something good will come from there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqjOvBp5-Yw

affigurl5:
[b]Good Afternoon good people,

Ive been dating this guy for a year and we did our introduction last year. since then, he's been trying to raise money for the wedding and house to move in.

I started noticing some funny behaviour. He chats alot with females, tells them the same thing we discuss about.
on this faithful day, he had a drama he was to perform in; he gave me the Complimentary ticket for the second show. on getting there, the first show was just finishing, i met him seeing his Ex who is a muslim off. i asked him if that was d ex, he denied it. he said she is a friend, she heard about the show and bought her ticket to watch the show. i apologized for accusing him but my indistinct still told me she's the ex.

three weeks later after, he went out for a friends Intro. and left his phone in the house, I decided to go through his phone with his password which he has being hiding from me(I stole d password)... i saw his chat with the lady and other girls. some nasty chats.
so i decided to pick only the assumed ex. number to call. i spoke to her nicely and she responded nicely too. i asked if she was my fiance's ex. she said yes. that she met me that dat after the drama and my fiancee never mentioned anything to her; instead he told her i was his friend. i asked her if she bought her ticket, she said no that my fiancee gave her ticket. that he has asked her after me before he always says im his friend.

this said ex. his parents have warned him about because of her religion. yet he still communicate with her. she even told me she has a fiance that her fiance.

i got angry and confronted him, the only thing that could come out of his mouth is " He's no longer interested that he will call my dad" on hearing that, i had to report him to the parents and two trusted friend of his. he doesn't listen to anyone nor his parents. the dad spoke with him and he told the dad there is no problem.. the mum called me and begged me to be calm.

please what should i do, im in my 30's and he is in his late 30's but i earn more than him. each time i talk of supporting so we can get an apartment, he just wave's it[/b][i]. [/i]

Hahaha good one dear, I can only ask you to let go of him if only one thing is met......... If his parent didn't consent to his proposal then stay but if otherwise leave. Many potential are here in Nairaland abi afonja

Why tell us you earn more?

Strahovski1:
Why tell us you earn more?

10nk u bros!!!

Lol, that nigga don't love you.

Don't force things pls, just do d needful.

I have taken my time to go through some of your past post and would advise you to slow down 'cus you have never had it good with your past relationships just like the present. Your age should not push you into a relationship that you will regret later.
I don't even see the present working out good for you. You need not to have a relationship that you take your problems at this point to your would be father inlaw. There is danger ahead.
The taste of friendship is not the taste of marriage.
Take a walk out of this, ask God to give you your husband and it does not take years of courtship to know your true husband if God is involved, few months into knowing you will get to know better. Goodluck.

What exactly is wrong with people living in this era of internet? they can't just make simple decisions themselves without involving bunch of faceless strangers in their dailies.

Op what really do you want anyone here to tell you? for F sakes you're the only person in the right position to make any decisions. you've spent a whole year with him, I believe by now you should know if he's the man you should spend your lifetime with or not...

if you as a person has spent a whole year with him, but still doesn't know him and doesn't know the right decision to make at this time... what the hell do you want us who just read few paragraphs of your *guy* tell you?
Quit or Stay?


Any boyfriend/girlfriend that doesn't give you access to his/her- please never, ever, ever try to sneak in... the end results is always disastrous.

Thank you all for your advise. i really do appreciate.

affigurl5:
Thank you all for your advise. i really do appreciate.

You're welcomed. Never try to force yourself into any marriage by trying to please someone at all cost at your own detriment as you cannot change an adult. Think of what makes you happy and also, work on the weaker areas of your life, in order to be able to navigate and accommodate any relationship. Note that there are no two perfect people on the face of this earth.
Only a relationship built on trust that can stand the taste of time. Now that two of you don't have any trust,it cannot work. Do not force yourself into marriage. Marriage is a course in the university you cannot graduate from.
Better be late than than this.

There is fire on the mountain. Run run Run A big big fire... Run Run Run
if you chose to stay, don't create another thread to disturb us pls

Pls just keep calm and keep watching him, even if you go through his phone and see anything about his flirts just read them and don't take action, it's just for your own information and for you to be aware but not to create problems with him

Somethings can not be corrected by war or by force, he is yet to see himself as a married man, leave him let him exact all those games he is playing now so that when he is fed up he will give up and man up

Good enough you earn more than him, start saving for the rainny day

His parents and others have talked to him but he won't listen until he has satisfied his apitite for all the nonsense he is doing

Even if you have saved enough money for the accommodation, don't tell him because if you pay, you will continue paying the rent but if he say he has some money but needs your help to complete it then pls do so for the interest of both of you

He is yet to come to terms that he is no longer a bachelor

affigurl5:
[b]Good Afternoon good people,

Ive been dating this guy for a year and we did our introduction last year. since then, he's been trying to raise money for the wedding and house to move in.

I started noticing some funny behaviour. He chats alot with females, tells them the same thing we discuss about.
on this faithful day, he had a drama he was to perform in; he gave me the Complimentary ticket for the second show. on getting there, the first show was just finishing, i met him seeing his Ex who is a muslim off. i asked him if that was d ex, he denied it. he said she is a friend, she heard about the show and bought her ticket to watch the show. i apologized for accusing him but my indistinct still told me she's the ex.

three weeks later after, he went out for a friends Intro. and left his phone in the house, I decided to go through his phone with his password which he has being hiding from me(I stole d password)... i saw his chat with the lady and other girls. some nasty chats.
so i decided to pick only the assumed ex. number to call. i spoke to her nicely and she responded nicely too. i asked if she was my fiance's ex. she said yes. that she met me that dat after the drama and my fiancee never mentioned anything to her; instead he told her i was his friend. i asked her if she bought her ticket, she said no that my fiancee gave her ticket. that he has asked her after me before he always says im his friend.

this said ex. his parents have warned him about because of her religion. yet he still communicate with her. she even told me she has a fiance that her fiance.

i got angry and confronted him, the only thing that could come out of his mouth is " He's no longer interested that he will call my dad" on hearing that, i had to report him to the parents and two trusted friend of his. he doesn't listen to anyone nor his parents. the dad spoke with him and he told the dad there is no problem.. the mum called me and begged me to be calm.

please what should i do, im in my 30's and he is in his late 30's but i earn more than him. each time i talk of supporting so we can get an apartment, he just wave's it[i]. [/i]

He's simply not interested in you Ma'am, reporting to his parents may not help you.

Dnockeror333:
At 30~ you say...! Still crying for a milk that will soon go more sour?

After going sour, as you said, the milk may be poured away with bath water after you put in your sweet honey!

Foolishness? Why not clean your heart now, take your live off his mention, before the days of tears come to meet you?

Common, why not do this:-
Pick your bag
Clean the past
Tell it to whoever wants to know
That your future with that guy will lay in sorrow and injustice
...

[s]Though, if you still want to live with A MAN WHO DERIDE HIS BEST FRIENDS AND PARENTS, you need be stronger than him- TO DERIDE HIS NUISANCE and later win him away from his vices!- The Long Way Home![/s]

I warned you, nice day.

That he doesn't listen to his parents in their preferred choice of a woman to settle with (the OP) doesn't mean he deride his parents. We all have preferences in life and from the OP's narrative, the guy doesn't seem to be much into her, hence, his hide and seek and the blunt statement of calling her father to end it.

Not holding brief for him o, just inferring from the OP's writeup

affigurl5:
[b]Good Afternoon good people,

Ive been dating this guy for a year and we did our introduction last year. since then, he's been trying to raise money for the wedding and house to move in.

I started noticing some funny behaviour. He chats alot with females, tells them the same thing we discuss about.
on this faithful day, he had a drama he was to perform in; he gave me the Complimentary ticket for the second show. on getting there, the first show was just finishing, i met him seeing his Ex who is a muslim off. i asked him if that was d ex, he denied it. he said she is a friend, she heard about the show and bought her ticket to watch the show. i apologized for accusing him but my indistinct still told me she's the ex.

three weeks later after, he went out for a friends Intro. and left his phone in the house, I decided to go through his phone with his password which he has being hiding from me(I stole d password)... i saw his chat with the lady and other girls. some nasty chats.
so i decided to pick only the assumed ex. number to call. i spoke to her nicely and she responded nicely too. i asked if she was my fiance's ex. she said yes. that she met me that dat after the drama and my fiancee never mentioned anything to her; instead he told her i was his friend. i asked her if she bought her ticket, she said no that my fiancee gave her ticket. that he has asked her after me before he always says im his friend.

this said ex. his parents have warned him about because of her religion. yet he still communicate with her. she even told me she has a fiance that her fiance.

i got angry and confronted him, the only thing that could come out of his mouth is " He's no longer interested that he will call my dad" on hearing that, i had to report him to the parents and two trusted friend of his. he doesn't listen to anyone nor his parents. the dad spoke with him and he told the dad there is no problem.. the mum called me and begged me to be calm.

please what should i do, im in my 30's and he is in his late 30's but i earn more than him. each time i talk of supporting so we can get an apartment, he just wave's it[/b][i]. [/i]

just read this thread https://www.nairaland.com/4736644/ladies-keeping-sanity-marriage-relationship

You do know coming here to ask for help is the MEGA GINIUS EQUIVALENT OF DYING ON A TOILET RIGHT ? ..

U de old de go... If u no know!!!

Arrange your ex and flirt with him also
but madam your already turning into an evening newspaper

affigurl5:
[b]Good Afternoon good people,

Ive been dating this guy for a year and we did our introduction last year. since then, he's been trying to raise money for the wedding and house to move in.

I started noticing some funny behaviour. He chats alot with females, tells them the same thing we discuss about.
on this faithful day, he had a drama he was to perform in; he gave me the Complimentary ticket for the second show. on getting there, the first show was just finishing, i met him seeing his Ex who is a muslim off. i asked him if that was d ex, he denied it. he said she is a friend, she heard about the show and bought her ticket to watch the show. i apologized for accusing him but my indistinct still told me she's the ex.

three weeks later after, he went out for a friends Intro. and left his phone in the house, I decided to go through his phone with his password which he has being hiding from me(I stole d password)... i saw his chat with the lady and other girls. some nasty chats.
so i decided to pick only the assumed ex. number to call. i spoke to her nicely and she responded nicely too. i asked if she was my fiance's ex. she said yes. that she met me that dat after the drama and my fiancee never mentioned anything to her; instead he told her i was his friend. i asked her if she bought her ticket, she said no that my fiancee gave her ticket. that he has asked her after me before he always says im his friend.

this said ex. his parents have warned him about because of her religion. yet he still communicate with her. she even told me she has a fiance that her fiance.

i got angry and confronted him, the only thing that could come out of his mouth is " He's no longer interested that he will call my dad" on hearing that, i had to report him to the parents and two trusted friend of his. he doesn't listen to anyone nor his parents. the dad spoke with him and he told the dad there is no problem.. the mum called me and begged me to be calm.

please what should i do, im in my 30's and he is in his late 30's but i earn more than him. each time i talk of supporting so we can get an apartment, he just wave's it[/b][i]. [/i]

Okay so God saved you from some foolishness.
Shouldn't you be happy?

Anyone who codedly says their fiance is "just a friend" is just playing games....games you have all the information to know that you should be thankful you no longer have any reason to be a part in.