RelationshipG:
Here are the five biggest things that I had to overcome in order to find my dream woman.

1. Fear of being seen

In my six years of being emotionally closed I learned to construct a highly convincing mask that most people couldn’t see through. I became funny, charming, charismatic, and was always ‘on’ when I was around people.

I avoided people who had the intuitive power to really see me and the suffering that I was experiencing internally. For me, allowing others to see me as a struggling, vulnerable person was a huge challenge.

One of the greatest things that I did to overcome this roadblock was to start posting articles with more of myself in them (more of my stories and experiences as opposed to simply ‘tips and tricks’ articles) and spending more time with close friends who saw and expected me to be my authentic self around them. To draw an analogy, if I was an iceberg that had previously only shown 3% of its mass above the water line, I moved the water line down so that closer to 20% of me was showing above the water. I don’t believe that 100% of the iceberg ever has to be shown above the water line because, as researcher Brene Brown has shown, not everyone that you cross paths with in your life will be deserving of knowing your fully authentic self. Only certain people deserve to know the real you while others can see and understand a more surface version.

2. Inability to receive love 

It is much easier (in my opinion) to give love than it is to receive it. This is because there is more certainty in giving than there is in receiving.

Receiving love brings up all of our issues surrounding worthiness, vulnerability, guilt, and shame that may have been layered on to us in our early childhood or through past traumatic relationship experiences.

It’s much easier (and less anxiety-producing) to give love than to receive it because when we start to allow ourselves to receive love we may start to fear that the love we are receiving could be pulled away from us at any time. Which would then feel like a rejection. Which could then trigger our feelings of “See… I knew I wasn’t worthy enough of love to begin with. Why did I even bother trying?”

To overcome my inability to receive love I did weekly sessions with a self-love coach. While you think that I might have been able to work through this on my own (being a relationship coach myself) I am a person just like you and, just like you, I can’t see my own blind spots. This was a necessary step in my emotional process. Having someone externally be able to point out the flawed logic in my emotional thinking was absolutely critical towards my growth. If you think that you might be spinning your wheels in the mud as well, I can’t recommend reaching out enough.

I’m always here to chat if you need an outsider’s perspective.

3. Fear of rejection

I dated women that were safe for the vast majority of the six years I was emotionally closed. What does that mean exactly? It means that I dated women that rarely challenged me or stood up to me. They didn’t have solid personal boundaries.

I dated women that were safe because it meant that I would be able to stay closed off and keep my romantic partners at an emotional arms distance.

In order to find my dream woman, I had to let go of this habit that I knew wasn’t serving me.

4. Playing small

Not only was I playing small in my love life (by dating women that were safe) but I was also playing small throughout my entire life.

I stayed inside of my comfort zone in all matters. I didn’t go to the gym too frequently because I didn’t want to become one of those guys that was overly strong. I didn’t push my comfort zone in my business because I didn’t want to hear what the critics would have to say about me. I didn’t want to leave my hometown for extended periods of time because of other fear-based rationalizations.

In short, my ego would flare up and I would let it win.

Then one day (near the beginning of the calendar year) I decided that enough was enough. I decided to face all of my emotional demons, get the help that I knew I needed, and start playing bigger throughout my entire life.

And before long, I met the woman that I knew I could spend forever with.

5. Fear of big feelings

One of the overarching things that I was avoiding was the fear of big feelings.

What do I mean by big feelings? Well, in my previous years of emotional closure, I convinced myself that I needed to live within a smaller range of emotions. Because the pain from my old break up was so overwhelmingly huge I wanted to numb out the big, scary emotions like those. But we can’t selectively numb emotions. If you numb the lows you also numb the highs. And that’s exactly what happened.

When I first met my significant other and true love was offered to me, everything that was unlike love inside of me was brought to the surface. I went through a hellacious month of emotional processing. There were days where I felt like I was possessed. It was as if all of the grief, shame, and sadness were ripped out of my body.

When this happened, I had two options on how to deal with it. I could have said “Uh-oh… incoming BIG emotions! I should dodge these by numbing myself!”… or I could face the emotions head on and feel the shit out of them. I decided on the second option. So, while it was the furthest thing from being easy, it was an absolutely necessary step in my process towards finding my love.

scantee:
Oboy After 10yrs of being a member of NL'd..finally I made it to FTC.

Lol I dedicate this to FC Barcelona fans for our had faught victory today.

Is not an easy task to beat R.Sociedad @New Anoeta.


#Proudly Barca #

luminouz:

Why are u here??
Have u washed the plates I asked u to wash :L

Rutheby:

I'm done with them sir.

franchasng:
Money is the only quality any man needs to get the girl of his dream.

Majority if not all guys want: not-too-slim, flat tummy, averagely big ass, average sized firm boobs, smiling face and straight legs.

This is the quality virtually every guy out there craves to have as physical quality of his dream woman.

Then good manner, humility, good character and good family background can then follow.

Others may add good academic background, intelligence, financially independent or from rich family....

Some guys may add international citizenship to their own sought after quality in a dream girl...

Now when virtually all guys want this same qualities, it makes the few ladies that have quarter of the qualities to become scarce commodity every guy wants to buy and this leads to increase in their price tag as they see different calibre of men coming after them, of course they will increase their demand or the qualities they want in a man too, and most times, its all about money.

So for any guy who wants to date or marry his dream woman , go and make money and u will have so many dream women to select.

Forget married men o, I can authoritatively tell u that 90% of Nigerian married men didn't marry their dream woman. Most married the opposite of the kind of woman they desired initially mostly due to financial issues, ladies iyanga, harsh economy, tribalism, religious discrimination and what have u

Don't mind some married men who scream I love my wife or act like their wife was their dream woman, it is all a cover up because majority of Nigerian married men didn't marry their dream women, they married the available woman when the desired woman is not available

Only very few Nigerian married men married their dream woman, and they are:

1. Men who came from rich family background

2. Men who became financially successful at young age

3. Guys who were lucky to travel out of Nigeria while young and made it financially on time on their own and not through marrying some old ladies to make it abroad

scantee:
Oboy After 10yrs of being a member of NL'd..finally I made it to FTC.

Lol I dedicate this to FC Barcelona fans for our had faught victory today.

Is not an easy task to beat R.Sociedad @New Anoeta.


#Proudly Barca #

franchasng:
Money is the only quality any man needs to get the girl of his dream.

Majority if not all guys want: not-too-slim, flat tummy, averagely big ass, average sized firm boobs, smiling face and straight legs.

This is the quality virtually every guy out there craves to have as physical quality of his dream woman.

Then good manner, humility, good character and good family background can then follow.

Others may add good academic background, intelligence, financially independent or from rich family....

Some guys may add international citizenship to their own sought after quality in a dream girl...

Now when virtually all guys want this same qualities, it makes the few ladies that have quarter of the qualities to become scarce commodity every guy wants to buy and this leads to increase in their price tag as they see different calibre of men coming after them, of course they will increase their demand or the qualities they want in a man too, and most times, its all about money.

So for any guy who wants to date or marry his dream woman , go and make money and u will have so many dream women to select.

Forget married men o, I can authoritatively tell u that 90% of Nigerian married men didn't marry their dream woman. Most married the opposite of the kind of woman they desired initially mostly due to financial issues, ladies iyanga, harsh economy, tribalism, religious discrimination and what have u

Don't mind some married men who scream I love my wife or act like their wife was their dream woman, it is all a cover up because majority of Nigerian married men didn't marry their dream women, they married the available woman when the desired woman is not available

Only very few Nigerian married men married their dream woman, and they are:

1. Men who came from rich family background

2. Men who became financially successful at young age

3. Guys who were lucky to travel out of Nigeria while young and made it financially on time on their own and not through marrying some old ladies to make it abroad

kenralph:

which brand you dey take bro?

JamaicanLove:



So people still believes in LOVE?


WAWU

JamaicanLove:



So people still believes in LOVE?


WAWU

Frenchkiss:
lol! I love you

RelationshipG:
Here are the five biggest things that I had to overcome in order to find my dream woman.

1. Fear of being seen

In my six years of being emotionally closed I learned to construct a highly convincing mask that most people couldn’t see through. I became funny, charming, charismatic, and was always ‘on’ when I was around people.

I avoided people who had the intuitive power to really see me and the suffering that I was experiencing internally. For me, allowing others to see me as a struggling, vulnerable person was a huge challenge.

One of the greatest things that I did to overcome this roadblock was to start posting articles with more of myself in them (more of my stories and experiences as opposed to simply ‘tips and tricks’ articles) and spending more time with close friends who saw and expected me to be my authentic self around them. To draw an analogy, if I was an iceberg that had previously only shown 3% of its mass above the water line, I moved the water line down so that closer to 20% of me was showing above the water. I don’t believe that 100% of the iceberg ever has to be shown above the water line because, as researcher Brene Brown has shown, not everyone that you cross paths with in your life will be deserving of knowing your fully authentic self. Only certain people deserve to know the real you while others can see and understand a more surface version.

2. Inability to receive love 

It is much easier (in my opinion) to give love than it is to receive it. This is because there is more certainty in giving than there is in receiving.

Receiving love brings up all of our issues surrounding worthiness, vulnerability, guilt, and shame that may have been layered on to us in our early childhood or through past traumatic relationship experiences.

It’s much easier (and less anxiety-producing) to give love than to receive it because when we start to allow ourselves to receive love we may start to fear that the love we are receiving could be pulled away from us at any time. Which would then feel like a rejection. Which could then trigger our feelings of “See… I knew I wasn’t worthy enough of love to begin with. Why did I even bother trying?”

To overcome my inability to receive love I did weekly sessions with a self-love coach. While you think that I might have been able to work through this on my own (being a relationship coach myself) I am a person just like you and, just like you, I can’t see my own blind spots. This was a necessary step in my emotional process. Having someone externally be able to point out the flawed logic in my emotional thinking was absolutely critical towards my growth. If you think that you might be spinning your wheels in the mud as well, I can’t recommend reaching out enough.

I’m always here to chat if you need an outsider’s perspective.

3. Fear of rejection

I dated women that were safe for the vast majority of the six years I was emotionally closed. What does that mean exactly? It means that I dated women that rarely challenged me or stood up to me. They didn’t have solid personal boundaries.

I dated women that were safe because it meant that I would be able to stay closed off and keep my romantic partners at an emotional arms distance.

In order to find my dream woman, I had to let go of this habit that I knew wasn’t serving me.

4. Playing small

Not only was I playing small in my love life (by dating women that were safe) but I was also playing small throughout my entire life.

I stayed inside of my comfort zone in all matters. I didn’t go to the gym too frequently because I didn’t want to become one of those guys that was overly strong. I didn’t push my comfort zone in my business because I didn’t want to hear what the critics would have to say about me. I didn’t want to leave my hometown for extended periods of time because of other fear-based rationalizations.

In short, my ego would flare up and I would let it win.

Then one day (near the beginning of the calendar year) I decided that enough was enough. I decided to face all of my emotional demons, get the help that I knew I needed, and start playing bigger throughout my entire life.

And before long, I met the woman that I knew I could spend forever with.

5. Fear of big feelings

One of the overarching things that I was avoiding was the fear of big feelings.

What do I mean by big feelings? Well, in my previous years of emotional closure, I convinced myself that I needed to live within a smaller range of emotions. Because the pain from my old break up was so overwhelmingly huge I wanted to numb out the big, scary emotions like those. But we can’t selectively numb emotions. If you numb the lows you also numb the highs. And that’s exactly what happened.

When I first met my significant other and true love was offered to me, everything that was unlike love inside of me was brought to the surface. I went through a hellacious month of emotional processing. There were days where I felt like I was possessed. It was as if all of the grief, shame, and sadness were ripped out of my body.

When this happened, I had two options on how to deal with it. I could have said “Uh-oh… incoming BIG emotions! I should dodge these by numbing myself!”… or I could face the emotions head on and feel the shit out of them. I decided on the second option. So, while it was the furthest thing from being easy, it was an absolutely necessary step in my process towards finding my love.

franchasng:
Money is the only quality any man needs to get the girl of his dream.

Majority if not all guys want: not-too-slim, flat tummy, averagely big ass, average sized firm boobs, smiling face and straight legs.

This is the quality virtually every guy out there craves to have as physical quality of his dream woman.

Then good manner, humility, good character and good family background can then follow.

Others may add good academic background, intelligence, financially independent or from rich family....

Some guys may add international citizenship to their own sought after quality in a dream girl...

Now when virtually all guys want this same qualities, it makes the few ladies that have quarter of the qualities to become scarce commodity every guy wants to buy and this leads to increase in their price tag as they see different calibre of men coming after them, of course they will increase their demand or the qualities they want in a man too, and most times, its all about money.

So for any guy who wants to date or marry his dream woman , go and make money and u will have so many dream women to select.

Forget married men o, I can authoritatively tell u that 90% of Nigerian married men didn't marry their dream woman. Most married the opposite of the kind of woman they desired initially mostly due to financial issues, ladies iyanga, harsh economy, tribalism, religious discrimination and what have u

Don't mind some married men who scream I love my wife or act like their wife was their dream woman, it is all a cover up because majority of Nigerian married men didn't marry their dream women, they married the available woman when the desired woman is not available

Only very few Nigerian married men married their dream woman, and they are:

1. Men who came from rich family background

2. Men who became financially successful at young age

3. Guys who were lucky to travel out of Nigeria while young and made it financially on time on their own and not through marrying some old ladies to make it abroad

franchasng:
Bra, its not about being materialistic, it is about being realistic with current life situation and global happenings.

All women will consider money/financial capability of a man first before any other quality when choosing a partner; be it for relationship or marriage, u can take that to the bank anytime.

Wondered shy Zahra Buhari kept giggling around internet acting up but stayed single until her dad became president and hooked her up with a billionaire son Oh yeah, its not about the money, its about the looks and I ask is Muhd that handsome

Billionaire Dangote daughter couldn't hook up with all the average Joes in town or even the uncountable good guys working in her daddy's conglomerate but she chose the son of a former IGP

My future daughter will never marry a broke guy, if she dares, I may mud her the way British Royal family mud Princess Diana for going out of their will to want to marry a Muslim Prince

To be rich and remain rich and at the top, u need to be very selfish in this life, oh yeah

franchasng:
not just them anymore, rich people and in fact successful of today no longer marry the poor, gone are the days such happen. It now happens maybe once in a lifetime.

Only some money miss road guys marry broke ladies because rich ladies or even ladies working in top firms or earning good salaries or those from averagely rich family don't marry financially struggling giysy, so guys need to wise up too....marry your class and reduce the gold-digging chances, Isa simple thing

funmisticqueen:
i absolutely agree with you, but will the girl if his dreams accept just money as what he has to offer

cassyrooy:
@MissJoy29 bia o

cassyrooy:
@MissJoy29 bia o

franchasng:
honey, the truth is, 90% or more of Nigerian married men didn't marry their desired woman, u can take that to the bank.

Majority of Nigerian men married the available woman who accepted to marry them or got stuck through pregnancy; live-in partners, while some couldn't marry their dream woman mostly because of financial issues; they kept struggling to find their fit financially and their sweetheart couldn't wait any longer and married the man that has money at the time.

Wondered why majority of Nigerian married men keep multiple mistresses once they become financially buoyant Go make a research on that.

It is nobody's fault, it is Nigerian economy u should blame not me

Now to my family u mentioned, they are all happily married cos majority of them made it on time and married mostly their childhood sweetheart, but I am a critical thinker and someone who enjoys research and observing the society a lot cos I am this crazy writer so I need figures to backup my write-ups, so when I speak honey listen carefully.

Now can I get a sumptuous kiss

RelationshipG:
7 SHOCKING EXERCISES TO INCREASE YOUR SEXUAL STAMINA




SOURCE : http://bigcrown.com.ng/7-shocking-exercises-to-increase-your-sexual-stamina/

are you normal?